"So all I gotta to is make sure he eats them?" Ryuji clarified as Futaba handed him the package. Ryuji inspected it, seeing nothing out of the ordinary about the box of chocolates.
"Precisely!" Futaba confirmed, a devilish grin on her face. "That stupid Inari will rue the day he tarnished my poor children!"
"Children?" Ryuji questioned, still pretty lost as to what was even going on.
"Her Phoenix Ranger Featherman figurines." Akira spoke up. "Yusuke took some… artistic liberties with them and rearranged the parts."
"So? Aren't those things easy to put back together?" Ryuji raised a brow.
"That's not the point!" Futaba protested. "I had spent hours putting them in the most absolute perfect poses, you know." she said, putting her hands on her hips. She looked as though she was on the brink of breaking off into an endless rant.
"Okay, okay, I get it. He touched your stuff without asking, which is kind of a dick move." Ryuji agreed. He looked back down to the box he was holding. "What are these, some kind of weird joke candies?"
Futaba sneered with delight.
"Something like that." she answered vaguely, which rose a bit of concern within Ryuji. He looked to Akira for some confirmation that he wasn't about to hand off some damned poison to his teammate.
"From what I gathered, they're supposed to be extremely spicy?" Akira explained, though sounded relatively uncertain.
"More than 'extreme'- these aren't even sold on normal market shelves, you know…" Futaba informed them proudly. "I have my resources though, and the site I got them on gave a 100% guarantee that they're the "hottest chocolates" known to man."
Ryuji paused, considering it. Yusuke was always so smugly composed, and the thought of ruffling his feathers was admittedly appealing to the blonde. Yusuke did always call him hot-headed, so maybe turning the tables would be fun.
"Alright, alright- I'll do it. As long as you're sure these won't eff him up or anything." Ryuji made sure to make clear that he wouldn't be held responsible if anything went wrong.
"Thanks, Ryuji. I would have delivered them, but I already promised to accompany Ann to one of her modeling shoots today over in Shinjuku." Akira explained, somewhat apologetic for pushing the task to his friend.
"No worries- you just owe me ramen from Ogikubo." Ryuji decided to at least see if he could get a free meal out of running the errand.
"Sounds good to me." Akira agreed.
After a bit more banter, Ryuji headed out, walking towards the subway. Yusuke was likely at the Kosei dorms; the starving artist wouldn't leave unless he had a reason to so that he would not waste money on train fare. Just in case, though, Ryuji decided to shoot him a quick text just to be sure.
'Yo, you home?'
'Yes, I am. Why do you ask?'
'Cuz I wanna stop by. That ok?'
'I suppose I don't have any other plans for the day.'
Ryuji groaned. A simple yes or no would have done the job- Yusuke could be so damn wordy.
'Cool. I'll bring food.'
'Kitsune udon and tonkatsu, if you would.'
'Is that supposed to be an effin' joke?'
Ryuji couldn't tell if he was actually being serious. As if he could afford all that; he had only planned on grabbing some cheap sushi so he didn't show up with just the totally not suspicious at all chocolate.
'Did I say something funny?'
'I'll get what I can afford, man.'
'Fair enough, I suppose.'
Ryuji rolled his eyes, slipping his phone into his pocket as he got off the subway. Upon inspecting his wallet, he would find he had a mere 1200 yen to his name at the moment. Yusuke definitely wasn't getting his udon.
After picking up lunch and getting on the next subway, he was finally at the Kosei dorms. He knew Yusuke's school was pretty prestigious, but was still a bit taken aback by the caliber of the accommodations. Seeing merely the lobby area, he was already baffled that Yusuke had complained about having to live here. Marble floors, tasteful decorative art pieces, and a fucking chandelier? Ryuji felt out of place immediately, and the students that were in the lobby made sure to add to that feeling. He received many sideways glances, and when he passed by a group of students, they immediately began to whisper in hushed tones.
'Fucking rich kids…' Ryuji thought bitterly, though made an effort to push the contempt aside and focus on finding Yusuke's room. It was on the third floor, which meant an awkward elevator ride with two girls standing as far away from Ryuji as possible, as if he were some tainted city rat. It was all too reminiscent of the trip to the buffet in Shibuya, though this time it was his own peers looking down on him, not just the shitty adults.
Finally at Yusuke's room, Ryuji knocked, trying to calm himself down from the irritation that had been building up. The artist answered the door promptly.
"Good afternoon-" Yusuke paused when seeing the bag of food. "What did you bring for lunch?" he asked immediately.
"Come on, man! At least let me inside first." Ryuji rolled his eyes.
"Fair enough." Yusuke conceded, motioning for him to follow inside. "It isn't much, but this is my current residence."
Wasn't much? Like hell it wasn't. It was just as refined as the lobby had been, and was rather spacious for a dorm room. The unit contained a kitchenette, and he had his own bathroom as well. Ryuji valued Yusuke as a friend and a teammate, but honestly wanted to punch him in this moment.
It was at that point that Ryuji remembered the chocolates, and his indignation morphed into anticipation. In a matter of minutes, Yusuke would get a good what-for, and Ryuji would get a good laugh at seeing him unravel for once. The blonde wondered just how spicy it would be; Futaba made it sound like it was something she got on the black market, but surely it wouldn't be too bad. I mean, she promised it probably wouldn't actually do any damage. Probably.
A shrill whistling noise snapped Ryuji back into reality as he practically jumped back. Yusuke rushed to the kitchen, pulling a teapot off of the stove.
"So then, shall we eat? I am rather famished." Yusuke said.
"You really do only think about food and art, don't you?" Ryuji couldn't help but laugh. "Alright, I just got us some sushi though."
When Yusuke looked slightly disappointed, Ryuji shook his head.
"Don't complain, man. I'm just about as broke as you, you know." he reminded him. He looked around the room, noting Yusuke's plethora of art supplies. It made Ryuji think that the artist would actually have a decent amount of cash if only he'd show restraint in buying materials.
"What's the foil box?" Yusuke asked curiously, pointing at the chocolates.
"Oh, that?" Ryuji stalled, realizing he hadn't thought of a casual excuse to have them. "A coworker gave them to my mom, but she's trying some new fad diet and won't eat them. So, uh, when I told her I was coming over to visit you, she insisted I bring them to share." Ryuji silently praised himself for thinking of such a solid response.
"I see- please send her my regards for the generosity." he said with the charming smile he donned whenever he spoke to or about women. Ryuji wondered if it was intentional, and reasoned that Yusuke was so oblivious that he surely didn't realize it.
"Do you know if they're milk or dark chocolate?" Yusuke asked, pacing back to the kitchenette.
"Does it matter?" Ryuji asked, tilting his head to the side. Yusuke sighed, shaking his head.
"You are so unrefined. Of course it matters; I need to know whether I should brew Darjeeling or green tea to accompany it." he explained. "Though, I suppose green would be the safer assumption, as it best accompanies sushi as well…" Yusuke trailed off, muttering about the importance of their tea complementing their meal.
"Then, uh, sure? Go with that, I guess." Ryuji wasn't sure which one he was agreeing to, but honestly didn't care which tea he got. Yusuke nodded, and was then off in his own world, preparing their beverages while Ryuji opened up the sushi and chocolate. When Yusuke returned to the table, he set down plates and looked to the open boxes.
"It appears as though we each get eight pieces of sushi, and four pieces of chocolate." the artist calculated quickly, dishing their plates up accordingly.
"Okay, sounds- wait, what?" Ryuji paused when he saw Yusuke placing chocolate onto his plate. "Oh, uh, hey, you can have all of the chocolate." he said hastily. Yusuke looked puzzled.
"It is for us to share though, no? Do you not like sweets?" he asked curiously.
Ryuji nodded quickly.
"Yeah- I mean, I don't, but I'm just not… not feeling like having sugar right now." Ryuji hoped he wasn't being to obvious. Hell, he knew he was being suspicious. He had done well up until now, and yet he may have just screwed up the whole mission.
Luckily for him, though, Yusuke was an oblivious sort.
"If you insist." Yusuke remarked, putting all of the chocolate onto his own plate. He wouldn't turn down more food, after all. Ryuji exhaled slowly, relieved that he'd been able to dodge the situation.
At long last, they were both seated and ready to eat. Just as Ryuji was ready to dig in, he felt his phone buzz. Checking it, he saw he had a message from Futaba.
'Has he eaten it yet? }:)'
'No we just sat down.'
'Dammit! }:( Hurry it up! I want to know exactly what happens okay? Take pictures! Or video!'
'I'll try to remember to.'
'I should have bugged your phone or something. =3='
'WTF? Effin' chill!'
'Just remember to get evidence of his reaction, k? }:3 I must relish in my victory!'
Ryuji rolled his eyes, putting his phone next to him on the ground, the camera app open and at the ready. Yusuke was blankly staring at him, looking a tad bit impatient.
"Are you quite done?" he asked, eager to begin eating.
"Er, yeah, sorry man." Ryuji apologized.
There was a lingering feeling of anxiousness in the pit of his stomach, and he wondered if this was really a good idea. Was he overthinking a harmless prank? Even if he wasn't, it was too late now. Everything was in place, and all he had to do from here on out was enjoy lunch with his friend.
[[Author Note: Boy howdy, this is my first time writing a fic since like... 2013? I hope I'm not too rusty after all this time- I'm unsure if this story will get just one more chapter, or potentially more. And yes, this is an elaborate/lengthy setup for the sake of smut. No shame in my game. Definitely don't hesitate to give me any feedback you got, or just let me know if you enjoyed the story so far.]]