Alright, I've been hiding this one for a few months. I will warn that there are some mentions of physical abuse. I'm sorry if it offends anyone as that is not my intention. Kind of like Don't Cry I'm adressing an issue that is a little taboo but I feel that it should be adressed as many people live it on a day to day basis. This one will have lots of feels and a possible lemon or two so if you don't like that stuff, don't read it.

I do NOT own any of these characters, any and all references to the books belongs to the WONDERFUL and AMAZING Cassandra Clare! However the creative idea for the story is mine and any and all changes or references to it must go through me.

Prologue

I sat on my bed with my legs pulled into my chest. Sebastian lay to my right curled toward me with a swollen lip and eyebrow busted open. I had never been so afraid in my life. Tears threatened to spill down my cheeks for a third time tonight. For whatever reason, I couldn't get the image of Jace standing there with his hand held out to me, urging me to leave with him, out of me head. It had always been different with Jace, but he was always in the right place at the wrong time…or the right time, whichever way one chose to look at it.

My cheek throbbed and I could feel my eye start to swell and bruise. My ribs ached and I could still feel Sebastian's hand on my upper arm from where he grabbed me and threw me into the floor. The only thing I could think was, how did I get here? I wasn't this girl. I wasn't the girl whose boyfriend beat her up. That just wasn't me. I was the girl who had life planned out to a 'T'. I've known who I was and where I wanted to go in life ever since I was little. I was going to be an artist, like my mom. I was going to have a big house with a large garage that had a loft above it. That's where my art studio would be. I was going to have the perfect husband; someone who supported and loved me for the untidy, emotionally screwed up, temperamental person I was. I used to think that person was Sebastian…I was wrong.

I don't know who Iam anymore. Even after all that I had gone through in my life before this point, I had always been fully aware of me, and all that was me. I never let myself get lost in the emotional roller coasters that life threw me into, not when my dad left, not when my brother got hurt in the car accident, not even when my mom died. I am a strong person. I always have been. When things got rough, I was the glue that held my family, or what was left of it, together. Now, I had turned into this petrified girl who was afraid to even breathe wrong in my boyfriend's presence. What happened to me? Had I been so blind to think that what I had with Sebastian was love? Looking down at him now, I knew better. I may have loved him, but he didn't love me. We've been together since junior year of high school and now, five years later, I finally see the person he really is. An insecure piece of shit!

But what do I do? How do I get out? A few hours earlier when Jace stood before me, begging me to leave with him, all I could do was turn my head away. I watched him leave, shaking his head while mumbling something about how stupid I was. I cried when he left, probably because I knew deep down inside that he was right. I was stupid, I should have left with him but it was that same fear that I continue to feel now that held me here. Looking back at the night as a whole and the reason I was in this predicament actually was quite comical to me now.

See, Jace is…well, was our roommate. I wasn't fond of the idea of him living with us because Jace and I…we have quite the torrid history, but Sebastian convinced me that it was a good idea. If he only knew about me and Jace, I was thanking God the moment he walked in the bedroom that he didn't, because had he known anything…I would more than likely be dead and Jace probably would have been dismembered violently. This was my fault though, I let the situation get away from me and that was something I never did, except when it came to Jace. He had an incredible ability to pull me from whatever it was I was doing or thinking and make my entire world tilt on its axis, making me gravitate toward him. I hated him for it. I hated Jace Herondale, period!

Did I really hate Jace? No, I hated the things he did and said. I hated that mischievous grin that always meant he was up to something. He always had an ulterior motive for everything. He was calculated and cunning. Jace always knew the best way to get what he wanted and often times he made a game of it. He is too smart for his own damn good. I think this situation caught even him off guard though. He expected me to leave with him, to just pick up my life and go as quickly as possible. I couldn't do that. My whole being was so tightly wound into Sebastian that, that wasn't an option for me. I had no one and nowhere to go. My mother always told me to never put all of my eggs in one basket. Thanks for the advice mom. I hate it when you come to find that your parents were right all along.

I shifted slightly and I could hear Sebastian hum next to me in his sleep. I used to think it was cute when he did it, now it sent chills down my spine and made goose bumps prickle on my arms. Please, please, please don't wake up, I mouthed silently with my eyes closed so tight that I thought I may never be able to open them again. I felt his hand settle on my hip and I loosened the grip I had on my legs slightly. This was the offending appendage that caused so much damage to my face and I found myself opening up to it. What was wrong with me? It was also the very same one that could calm me with the gentlest touch, make me laugh when tickled playfully and pleasured me on so many different levels. His hand continued up, maneuvering in between my torso and legs in a slow crawl.

Sebastian's arm rested atop my abdomen and he pulled me closer to him, burying his nose in my shirt. He is beautiful, I thought to myself looking down at him. It was too dark to make out much of his features but I had them memorized. His thick, dark hair, his deep brown eyes with just a hint of green, his high, angular cheek bones, his strong, square jaw and his perfect lips; I loved them all. Even then, I found myself being pulled back into everything that was Jace. He is the epitome of gorgeous and the one and only reason for the existence of women on earth. He and Sebastian are polar opposites. Where Sebastian has the dark brooding features, Jace has the light, angelic features. However, angelic he is not.

I let myself fall back and I turned on my side, shoving my hands under the pillow with a deep sigh. Sebastian inched himself closer, his body contouring to the shape of my own. He fisted my shirt in his hand and buried his nose in my hair. I clenched my jaw, trying to keep myself calm as my heartbeat sped out of control, but it was so rapid that I heard it in my ears and could feel it pulsating through my body. How did I end up here, I thought again. Where did this all start? Ah yes, it started freshman year. That was the year I met Jace Herondale, and as he was a very large contributing factor to the recent lifetime movie that had become my life, I felt that was the first place to start.

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