Title: Violence Wasn't the Answer
Rating: T for sensuality
This was going to be a scene from Each Other, but I changed the beginning so this has been floating around for a while on my computer. Then I was watching the series (again? Still?) I was thinking deeply about "the Southern Raiders" episode and frankly there's a big time skip between when they leave Yon Rha and when they get back, so here's my take on the filler.
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Boarding Appa, Zuko directed the sky bison toward his family's beach house on Ember Island while Katara curled up in the saddle and slept as if to lose herself from the reality of recent events. Upon their arrival, Zuko helped Katara down from the saddle, cradling her in his arms as they made their way inside the home. She wriggled into his chest and took a deep, reassuring breath. His lips grazed the top of her head, wanting to comfort but not quite sure if he should.
"Go back to sleep," he requested, tenderly situating her into the bed, not quite realizing that it had been his as a child. "I'm going to go get everyone."
He turned to leave, but her hand caught him. "Not yet. Please. Tomorrow. I'm not ready to face them just yet." He understood that look in her eyes. He had felt it more times than he could count. That look of insecurity, fear, failure, grief. That look drew him in and as though by instinct they curled against each other. But he maintained propriety and slept outside the covers, yet his fingers found her hair and he fell into a deep sleep twirling the soft curls.
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It felt like they had slept for a month in that bed. Rising finally, and slightly awkwardly, as two former enemies would, Katara went about the daily routines so engrained in her from her journeys. Make the meal, clean the dishes, pack the food away so wild animals (or Sokka) wouldn't eat them, pack the dishes away, clean the grounds, so on and so on. Zuko tried to help, but she waved away his offers. She needed the distraction. Finishing up, she finally resigned herself to do nothing but stare at the fire flickering in the central brazier. Arms wrapped protectively around her knees, she speaks after what feels like days of silence
"You think I'm weak don't you?"
He looked up from prodding the fire for what felt like the hundredth time in the past five minutes. Her question confused him.
"For not finishing the job? You think I'm weak?" her blue eyes never met his questioning ones.
"Of all the things I consider you weak would not be one of them."
"You would have done it though. Without a second thought, just like that, finished it." She snapped her fingers as if to prove her point.
"Is that what you think?" he grunted, looking away in disgust. Could she really think it was that easy for him to take a life? That he was that horrible of a person that death never bothered him?
"But you have, haven't you? Taken lives?" she asked, her stare penetrated him to depths he had never examined himself.
Of course he had taken lives. Many times in fact, but he refused to think about it. Instead it was something he buried deep within him. Another piece for him to hide. It was a consequence of war and it happened despite his best efforts to prevent it. He still had nightmares of watching Zhao slip into his icy tomb, watching the bubbles float to the surface until they ceased. No. Death was a horrible thing.
"You have too, Katara. You've just never been that close to them to see what happens," he observed darkly.
Her eyebrows knitted together as she thought about those words. The silence hung heavily in the air.
"Was I pathetic and sad and empty?" Zuko asked, his eyes barely lifting to glance her direction.
"What?"
"You said that he man was pathetic. There was nothing inside him. Do you think the same of me?"
Their eyes met as she processed his meaning. "Never," she answered firmly.
Her response seemed to appease him, just as his seemed to do the same to her. She rose and went to her room. He followed shortly after extinguishing the flames, again sleeping on top of the covers with his arms around her.
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The following day, after they had eaten a small meal, Katara and Zuko sat this time side by side at the fire staring at the flames. He lounged back on his elbows stretching his legs in front of him.
"If you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be?" Zuko asked out of the blue. He was reminded of when he had asked Mai the same question, half expecting a similar superficial answer.
She looked over her shoulder at him puzzled, "What?"
He repeated himself. She wrinkled her nose and tapped her chin with her forefinger. "Well, other than having the war end, I'd like a nice hot bath."
He smirked and sat up, "I think I might be able to help with that." He stood up and offered a hand to help Katara up. She took his hand and stood up in front of him. "What do you mean?"
Leading her to the expansive bathroom in the Fire Lord's chambers, he opened the faucet that allowed the water to fill the huge tub. Katara couldn't help but assist her element along.
He felt the water and feeling the chill heated it to what felt like a comfortable temperature. He felt a presence next to him and saw Katara had put her hand in the water as well to test the temperature. She was in nothing but her under wrappings. He gasped and quickly looked away from her. She snorted, "You act like you've never seen me like this before." she playfully elbowing him in the ribs before entering the water. She unbraided her hair letting it flow down her back before combing it out with her fingers. He turned to leave to give her privacy. She glanced over at him, resting her chin on the edge of the marble tub. "Aren't you going to join me?" He turned around surprised that she offered to have his company.
"I'll wait till you're done," was all he said.
"Oh, come on. You did such a good job heating the water you should enjoy it too." She splashed the water at him laughing as it drenched him. "See now you're all wet. You might as well get in."
He rolled his eyes, slightly peeved that she had splashed him. After a mental debate on the appropriateness (or lack thereof) of bathing with her, he decided a hot bath sounded far more tempting. He carefully removed his tunic, undershirt, boots, and outer pants leaving him in his knee length under pants that hung teasingly from his hips. Katara hid her smile below the edge of the tub as she watched him strip enjoying the show that he was unaware he was putting on. She hadn't realized how muscular he was and that when it came down to it, he was quite cute. She especially liked that trail of hair that started at his bellybutton and traveled south.
"Happy?" he mumbled as slid to the other side of the tub.
She rolled her eyes at him, "Excuse me, oh great Fire Prince. I'm so sorry for making you bathe." She splashed him again getting him right in the face. He wiped the water away and scowled at her. "Oh yeah, waterbender," he quickly came up to her lifted her up only to drop her back in. Back and forth they went splashing like two little kids, laughing and shouting. Finally Katara came up to him and pinned his wrists with ice to the edge standing up in front of him.
"Ha!" she announced, "I win."
"What is it with you and freezing me to things?" Zuko asked playfully.
"What? Would you prefer I tie you to a tree?" she teased with a smirk on her face. It took a moment but he registered what she was referring to having forgotten about that time with the pirates. Her bright eyes looked down at him, her wet hair hung seductively down, the white cloths that made up her breast bindings didn't hide much as they heaved from the exertion.
She shrugged with a slight frown, bent the ice away from his wrists, and slunk to his side. "It's in the past."
"No, Katara, I'm sorry," he repeated, grabbing her hand and bringing it to his mouth. Lightly he kissed the top of it. "I'm sorry for tying you to a tree."
He turned her hand over and kissed the palm, "I'm sorry for chasing you and trying to capture the Avatar."
Her breath hitched as his lips pressed against her wrist, "I'm sorry for betraying you under Ba Sing Se."
"I'm sorry for being the bad guy for so long," he leaned in and modestly kissed her cheek, half expecting to get slapped or worse. He had no clue where this was coming from but it felt right.
He watched her blink back her surprise then to his surprise she kissed him on the lips. They were so soft and pliant and he couldn't stop himself. His hands fumbled to the back on her neck as she slid onto his lap. There was a jumble of lips and tongues and teeth and noses and nervous smiles and apologies for inexperience. Her flesh felt so hot under his roaming hands he wondered if perhaps she was part firebender. He wanted to touch all of her, taste all of her, have of all of her. Her little whimpers and moans only added to his desires. Apparently his growls and sighs added to hers. His lips roamed down her neck, stopping to suckle on her pulse point before continuing to the other side where he nibbled her ear. She nearly shot off his lap before curling into the sensation. To his delight, she pulled away slightly from his ministrations to explore him as he had done to her. The devilish tongue worked over his good ear and hearing her pant as she did so was the most erotic noise he had ever heard. Mai had never been like this. For each sensation Zuko had brought to Katara, she delivered right back. It was amazing. Then she lowered to his chest and lapped at his nipple, teasing with the tip of her tongue and the edge of her teeth and his body felt like a current ran through him. This was all new and he liked it. She moved to the other side to do the same until he pushed her away. His hands found the ties of her upper bindings and he cautiously asked if he could remove them. She grinned and helped him out tossing them over her shoulder. Now it was his turn to see what happened when nipples were licked. And from the arch of her body, the mewls of ecstasy, he could tell that she was liking the way he teased as she had done to him. The silky mounds felt so right in his hands, he loved breasts and he worshiped hers with much adoration.
His body was on fire, her body felt the same. His body cried for more and when Katara ground her hips against his and he nearly exploded from the touch. She did it again and he moaned. Her eyes were wide as she felt the length of him beneath the thin pants then turned excited. Her body moved against his, his arms wrapped around her waist holding her tight against him as they ground against each other. The excitement built, the crescendo of their sounds built, and this felt too good to stop. But Katara did.
They had gone too far. This wasn't right. Slow down. He thought for sure she would move away. Instead she kissed him. So tenderly it made his heart sing.
Katara mumbled into his lips, her eyes remaining closed. "Make love to me."
Zuko pulled away from her and stared. "What?"
She repeated her request but couldn't quite bring herself to look at him. She felt as though if they did this one little thing, it would make things feel better, make the pain go away, even if only for a brief moment.
Zuko cupped her cheek in his hand and rubbed the tears that had fallen from her eyes. "No, Katara."
"Is it because I'm just a water bending peasant and you're the Fire Prince?" she move to look at him, trying to hide the bitterness that crept in. "Spirits forbid that you lower yourself to be intimate with someone like me, right?"
"Well, I guess if I was looking at a peasant, maybe. But no, that's not why. I don't think this is something you want to do."
"How can you know what I want?" she challenged.
"I can see it in your eyes. Besides it won't make things better. Trust me."
"But what if I want to. You said yourself this is something I need."
"Yeah, well I wasn't referring to this."
"Well, I am. I need this, Zuko. I need to feel. I need to be felt. I need to… release. I need to forget."
Zuko sighed heavily. What was he doing denying her what she wanted? But did she truly want it? "You've been through a lot the past few weeks- the past year, really- and I don't want to do something that you'll feel guilty about later. I've done enough to hurt you and, as much as I would really, really, really like to do this, I can't." She moved to debate it but he kissed her gently on the lips. "When all of this is over and you still want to, with me, then we'll talk. Deal?"
Katara burst out into laughter, leaning her forehead against his. "How do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Manage to say what I need to hear."
He shrugged, "I guess when you've been down those roads too, you just know."
She sighed and kissed him one last time before exiting the tub. She gathered her things and bending the water from her body, redressed. Fully clothed, she headed for the door, stopping to glance over her shoulder and smile at him. "Thank you, Zuko. For all of this."
Zuko smiled back sheepishly. "I should be the one thanking you."
She nodded and turned away, seeming to be at peace.
And for Zuko that was enough.