"Greetings, aspiring pupils of The Glastonbury Academy for Spellwrighting and Sorcerery!
The Glastonbury Academy has changed much over the past few centuries. The town of Glastonbury itself is no longer just a well-trodden site of pilgrimage, but a teeming beacon for hordes of muggle tourist-hippies and their familiar parasite, the seller of over-priced crystals. Yet whilst the inevitable proliferation of half-truths has meant the kneazle is well and truly out of the bag, so to speak, The Glastonbury Academy still remains a tranquil and thriving sanctum of wizarding education. This is due in no small part to the introduction of an entire degree in Sorcerous Security (And Defence against Discovery).
The School of Arithmancy and Astrology (But Most Certainly Not Divination), run by the Team for Outer-spatial Recombination, is unrivalled, boasting observatories at both Glastonbury Tor and the iconic Stonehenge, and a mainly centaur staff. The Stonehenge campus is also the main teaching site for Charmitecture students, Charmitecture often being noted for its popular module, "Easy Logistics the Stonehenge way".
Thaumaturgy and the Modern Mage offers a surprisingly refreshing mix of the practical and philosophical, discussing some of the amazing feats of witchcraft and wizardry that modern researchers are only just beginning to understand. The core module, "Sharing the Tor," is a riveting introduction to magical manipulation of space and perception and is taught by a guest lecturer from Sorcerous Security (and Defence against Discovery), for which "Sharing the Tor" is also a core module.
Thaumaturgy, Sorcerous Security and Applied Transfiguration are all located in Glastonbury Abbey, as is the Arthurian Library.
The Central Campus at Chalice Well is our largest site and is also home to our First Year halls of residence. The following courses are based at Chalice Well; Magical Lexicography and Linguistics, Magizoology, Magriculture, Muggle Studies (and Wizarding Ethics), Mungo Medical Crafts (Post-apprenticeship Dissertation) and Wizarding in Antiquity. Study facilities can be found in the Chalice Well Library.
"The Six Druidic Languages of Merlin" is a fascinating introduction to Magical Lexicography and Linguistics, tracing Celtic languages back from one of the most marvellous wizards in history. Another highly recommended module is "Spellchecking; Censure and Creativity", which delves into some of the politics and ideologies behind the Ministry of Magic Official Lexicon.
The School of Magizoology are currently conducting research into the breeding habits of Questing Beasts, whilst the School of Magriculture has just published its flagship thesis, "Endangered and Enchanted; The Glastonbury Thorn".
Muggle Studies (And Wizarding Ethics) is perhaps one of our most relevant courses at present, and places have now been filled up to 2015. Graduates from this course have gone on to work in the Equal Opportunities sector, or found a career in counselling. The module, "Wizarding solutions to Muggle-made Climate Change" is open to students from other courses.
Students wishing to undertake a Post-apprenticeship Dissertation in Mungo Medical Crafts need only provide two positive references and a urine sample to proceed. Wizarding in Antiquity applicants need only an A (Acceptable) in History of Magic, but must provide three urine samples.
All degree courses will include a CAT (Confirmation of Arcane Tenacity) in both Charms and Potions.
Traditional transport to and from the Chalice Well Central Campus on the first night of each academic year will be via canal boat, departing from Little Venice on Regent's Canal, London, with chartered Knight buses to take students from the moorings at Glastonbury to the Main Hall.
More will be revealed on arrival,
Most erumpent well-wishes,
Lady Rhiannon Boadicea Morrigan Ragnell,
Headmistress of The Glastonbury Academy for Spellwrighting and Sorcery, Order of Merlin (first class), High Druid of the Ley Line Trust, and Toastmaster of the Avalon Fine Dining Society"
The dog-eared prospectus, perched as it was quite precariously on the edge of the kitchen table, was abruptly knocked to the floor as the first of three items of luggage and their carriers barged past in a rush to get to the waiting taxi-cab outside.
"Benjamina Whistlethrope you get your arse out here now!" hollered a formidable woman as two adolescent boys aggrievedly loaded some trunks onto the back of the cab. One of the bay horses snorted emphatically. The adolescent boys looked remarkably like the formidable woman, who bristled with resolution for a second before striding back towards the front door. Only to be sent stumbling backwards again as the final member of their party finally exited the building.
"Sorry, sorry! I was just getting Igor,". A Hogwartian trunk in one hand, large, raven-filled cage in the other, Benjamina Whistlethrope shambled hastily up to the cab. Palming the trunk off on one sibling, and yelling at the other for jamming the cage into place with flippant utility, she ran round to one side of the carriage and hoisted herself up. Formidable woman, now identifiable as mother, rolled her eyes and pointed her wand at the front door, which obediently swung shut and echoed with the sound of several bolts. In the next moment, all four passengers were seated in the cab, panting and exhilarated. Then, with an indifferent glance over his shoulder, the cabbie bade the horses go on, and they moved with jarring leisure towards Little Venice, and the waiting canal boat.
"Have you got your dress robes?"
"Yeah,"
"Did you pack those bottles of emerald ink we got yesterday?"
"Mm hmm,"
"That folder with all your bits of parchment in, acceptance letter, Hall registration-"
"Yup."
There was a pause. Benjamina looked over at her mum, who's mouth formed silent words as she scrolled through each possible omission. Eric suddenly made a retching noise and spat out a Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Bean into his hand. The noise caused Ames to turn round from surveying the passing scenery, but Eric had already decided to smear the offending bean on his brother's cheek. Sticky squabbling ensued.
"Have you got your broom?" Moira probed, renewing her questioning.
"Yurp."
"Are you sure? Eric was farting around with it this morning and I had to keep telling him to put it back in the trunk."
"I would not leave the house without my broom.".
Moira's posture shifted, her chin withdrawing down and her head tilting. "Oh, I can't believe you're actually going. I'm going to miss you so much, it's going to be so quiet with you gone," - at this point Eric was nattering his head from side to side in an effort to dislodge a purple smushed-up bean whilst Ames hiccuped with tearful laughter - "I'm going to have to come visit you some weekends and we can go rambling on the Levels,".
"Aye, well, yeah, it only takes a second to Apparate, I can come home some evenings to visit too,".
The cab was now amidst the streets of London, and no one quite remembered when the familiar streets of their home town had been replaced by the impassive heights of office blocks and shopping centres. Their cab trotted swiftly down one of the magical lanes that inserted themselves down every muggle road, invisible to the muggles that motored either side. As they turned left slowly, Little Venice came into view, causing Eric to pause in his efforts to relieve Ames of the bag of Bertie Bott's in order to exclaim how nice it all looked. Sensing the mood had changed, Ames likewise settled down a bit, squinting to make out the names of the various canal boats that lined the sides of the canal.
"The Grindylow... The Merry Merman... Excalibur... Hey, Benj, I bet those are all wizard boats,".
Benjamina cast her gaze over the boats in question and murmured agreement, "The Merry Merman looks well good, I bet it's got an epic Expansion charm on it and all,".
"Awwww, woah, look, Benj, Benj! That's the Glasto barge, it must be, the green and white one!".
Eric was leaning so far out of the cab that Benjamina thought he was going to fall into the canal. Moira was looking giddy. The Lady of the Lock was shaped like a rather large rowing boat, with a boxed-in second deck jutting up from the exposed main deck, and portholes promising further levels below. It was painted brilliant white, and with shimmering turquoise reeds that rippled across the hull in that fashion characteristic of magical pictures. The boat's crowning glory was the serene figure clasping a sword at the prow, her ghostly visage dappled by the light filtering down through an invisible lake.
There was a large crowd around the barge, and taxi-cabs were struggling to turn around on the narrow road next to the towpath. A short distance away, Ministry of Magic Portkey Officials were clearing the area ready for the next group to Apparate.
Benjamina knew that for every student that went to Hogwarts, there was another that was homeschooled like herself. The wizarding world, blessed as it was by labour-saving charms and mercilessly free of anti-socialising technology, encouraged a very different sort of work-life balance. The small wizarding population meant that there simply wasn't the need or the demand for institutional transmission of knowledge, since each trade and profession had so few disciples, emerging so infrequently. The Glastonbury Academy for Spellwrighting and Sorcery was the only Wizarding University in Britain, eclipsed in scope and size only by the Ministry of Magic Internship Programme. St Mungo's was the only other place to offer anything resembling an official qualification in the muggle sense. Elsewhere, people just followed the family tradition, or went to stay with the leading figures in their chosen craft. By exchanging free labour for knowledge, they ensured the wizarding population would never be in want of brooms or wands. Many wizards chose to do degrees later on in life though. Many chose to do several. And why not?
Looking at the crowd again, Benjamina calculated that there must be about four hundred students waiting to get on that barge. The Glastonbury Academy attracted a number of international students as well, and operated some thrilling exchange schemes. There were probably about three main year groups, plus the Mungo's lot and a smaller postgraduate cohort. So assuming about a hundred students in each undergraduate year, and about a hundred postgrads at any one time... The Glastonbury Academy was bigger than Hogwarts, but not by much.
Her mind fizzed at the thought of joining an exchange scheme; she was quite interested in spending some time in Australia or Egypt. The sister campus at Llyn y Fan Fach in Wales was quite appealing too. Oh, this was going to be so much fun!
She could tell who the first years were. Aside from those who naively sported clothing which pegged them as one of the four Hogwarts houses (a tendency which was rapidly quashed in the first few weeks of term), the first years were visible as a result of several factors. Whether it was emotional parents, gleaming, matching sets of academic paraphernalia, a petrified comportment or palpable excitement, it was immediately apparent for whom this journey would be a momentous occasion.
Their cab had joined a queue of taxi-cabs, and presently reached a point at which it could stop and unload. Benjamina opened one of the doors and clambered out in wonder, barely noticing her brothers as they followed close behind. They all walked to the rear of the carriage as the cabbie climbed up to the luggage rack and began handing items down.
"Don't rag Igor's cage around like that!" Benjamina snapped, rescuing the bird from her brother Eric, who relinquished the cage with a shrug. Moira clipped her son round the head in solidarity, before accepting the first trunk the driver gave her. Stepping up the the cab to receive the second piece of luggage, Benjamina huffed, "Honestly mum, and he wonders why he blimmin' nips him all the time,".
Ames took the third trunk, and shortly after purposefully kicked Eric in the hand, spilling a spray of beans in a satisfying patter.
"Awww, what!" Eric began, stunned by the action.
"Cheers Ames," said Benjamina. Moira was marching over to the cargo ramp of the barge.
"Come on, give over," she directed at the three of them, handing her burden to a smartly dressed crew-member who grimaced at the weight.
"Benj, I get your room, yeah?", Ames was saying. But Benjamina had spotted her first friend in the throng. She was just about to rush over when her mother caught her arm gently and said, "Right, you can go and say hello in a minute, just say goodbye to yer mum properly now, yeah?". Benjamina smiled sheepishly and stood still.
"So I want you to send me an owl in a few days, tell me how you're getting on, it doesn't take long,". Moira tucked one of Benjamina's tight blonde curls behind her ear, and squeezed her shoulder. The young woman nodded. "And let me know when you want me to come visit, I'll bring the boys as well.".
Benjamina gave her mum a hug, "Thanks... for everything. Logistics, buying me all this stuff, not getting all stressy. It's appreciated.". Her mother laughed, "Mmm! Should think so!". Ames and Eric stood fairly quietly, appraising the assembled students and chewing their tongues. Benjamina pulled them both into a hug, ignoring the instantaneous stiffening at such an embarrassing show of sisterly affection, "Study hard in yer OWLs you two! Don't drive mum too mad, will yer?". Eric was the first to extract himself, "Yeah, yeah, we will.". Ames smiled, "What, study hard or drive mum mad?".
"Benj!", a shout came from over near the boat. Benjamina's head swivelled to pinpoint the source. At the same time the gangplank unfurled from the boat, many pairs of feet soon patterning the turquoise carpet. Moira looked from the boat to Benjamina.
"Ok sweetie, we're going to go then," said her mother, "Take care. I know you'll have a great time.". Benjamina submitted to another hug and a perfumed kiss, "I will, I will. Cool, I'll see you soon,". She blew her mum another kiss as she began to walk towards the boat. She could see Tobin standing on tiptoes to try and relocate her.
"Mum, which one's our cab?" said Eric, trying to navigate the sea of well-wishers in his quest to get back home in time to catch the Quiddich. Moira was not in so much haste, and Ames was setting a diplomatic pace, ambling for the sake of his mum but growing bored with the proceedings.
"Tobin!" Benjamina said, clapping her mate on the back, having snuck right up to him as he scanned the crowd intently. He jumped and grinned, "Hey! Gi' us an hug!". "Benjamina!" cried Alice, appearing suddenly next to the girl as they all traipsed onto the boat. "Eyup! How's tha doin'?!". "Yeah am alreet, how's yersen?".
All around them the clamour of greetings sounded. Everyone was stoked. Benjamina could almost taste the freedom wafting down the canal. She couldn't wait to get stuck into Wizarding in Antiquity, and Potions had been her favourite subject at home. She couldn't wait to explore the marshes and wetlands of the Somerset Levels, peruse the cobbled streets of Glastonbury...
She tingled with euphoria and anticipation. She was so happy. She was so, so happy.