Hold My Hand Forever
By Saltwater Romance

Dedicated: To Persona since no one gives him much love.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice because WOW! My imagination isn't THAT extensive! I began to take the time to read the manga, and my love for Natsume and Mikan grew! The anime really did fudge up all of the characters and disregarded some of the coolest ones.

-.-.-.-

I cannot pull myself free from this man's hand. - Nobara Ibaragi (Chapter 71: Finding the Light)

-.-.-.-

"Let us commend Rei Serio…"

I ran my fingers against the hollow cheeks of the man that I would never see again. I tipped my hat closer to my face, trying to hide the tears that were threatening to spill. My fingers trailed down.

"To the mercy of God…"

I couldn't believe it.

I really couldn't believe it.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He was immortal; a terrifying God that couldn't be touched.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures;

My fingers hesitated by his fingers, feeling the roughness of his palms. The coldness of his touch.

He leadeth me beside the still waters.

I collapsed, and no one helped me.

He restoreth my soul;

"Could you be a dear and fetch me some tea?" his calloused palm pressed on top of my hand, showcasing his bare fingernails instead of the black that I was accustomed to. My eyes trailed up along the dark circles underneath his bleak pools of onyx when they met mine, silver streaking his hair, and the tremble in his bottom lip.

We both knew that there was no more tea in the house.

Sighing in resignation, and pulling up my hair, "Green?"

"Surprise me," he replied boldly, rocking in his chair as a pendulum.

My eyebrows shot up, but I didn't question him. I stood up and began to gather up my winter clothes as he called behind me, "Do try to hurry back."

As my fingers gripped the tarnished doorknob, I took a second glance at the man who was huddled by the ridiculously small television set, straining to see Old Yeller as he did faithfully everyday, waiting for that happy alternative ending which was only conjured by futile hopes and imagination. Everyday, I would ask him if he'd like to change the movie to The Little Rascals or another one that was upbeat and comedy related, and in response, he shook his head.

"Nobara, watch it with me," he'll plead.

And every time, he'll weep at the end leaving me to be the only one to console him.

I muttered under my breath, "Alright."

He turned back to the television set, while I trudged out of the apartment into the unyielding wind and ice decorated pavement. Carefully, I tucked my hands into my pockets, resisting the tingling sensation of my unused alice wanting to be used, and concentrated on not falling. After yesterday's snowfall, the roads were sleeker than usual.

He leadeth me in paths of righteousness

Unfortunately, I happened to be concentrating a bit too much.

"'Cuse me," a pair of arms shot out and firmly held onto my shoulders, while I regained my balance. He immediately withdrew his hands as soon as I stabilized.

"Thanks," I murmured, managing to steal a glance into the familiar crimson. A sharp intake of breath and a couple of blinks coupled with an offered bitter chuckle from him was all it took for my composure to come back, but lost was my dignity.

"Sorry… Umm… Natsume?"

For his name's sake.

His eyes shifted away as he tensed up. I coiled my arms around his lithe frame in a way to greet him. When we were at the academy, we never were close, but we were on speaking terms. My face flushed. He didn't return the gesture, so I slowly withdrew the hug that I initiated thoughtlessly. I commented politely, "Tsubasa mentioned to me that he saw you a couple of times around town, but no one believed him. How have you been after…?"

My eyes widened.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!

I should've just stopped after 'how have you been,' instead of burying up my own grave. His lips stretched out to his right side, in a slight frown, slight smile after I humored him with my tactlessness. He easily slid over my blunder, "I've been good. I finally returned back from the American Alice Academy post. I've retired. Yourself?"

I watched him with interest, but still responded, "Miaski and Tsubasa have been going out for the past five years, but if you bring up marriage… They both break out in hives! Though, Miaski is about three months pregnant with his child. Hmm… Ruka moved to Paris a year ago, and Mochu and Nonoko are residing in Italy with the status of a married couple. Hotaru runs a little veterinarian practice on the outskirts of town; we only see her if we take the twenty minute drive or whenever Ruka comes back to visit us. Yuu and Koko run a daycare center just further down the street—"

"I asked about you," Natsume interrupted.

"I am talking about myself!" I protested.

"No," he ran his fingers through the endless head of hair, "I've heard about Miaski, Tsubasa, Ruka, Mochu, Nonoko Hotaru, Koko, and Yuu… What about you? You haven't mentioned anything about yourself."

I smiled at his notice of me avoiding him. Should I dare tell him what I've been doing?

"Anna and I are co-owners of a little bakery shoppe a couple of blocks away."

"Bakery?" he snorted with his disbelief.

I immediately brightened and laughing along with him, "I know, right? Me? A baker? I think if someone from the academy told me of how I would be living currently, I wouldn't have believed it myself."

"Me neither," he whispered softly, "Do you know what today is?"

As if by fate, the wind blew a newspaper passed us. March 15th. He looked up at me knowingly, and inquired the question that's probably been burning since he had seen me, "Has anyone…?"

I shook my head morosely, "She's gone, Natsume. A while ago, we all ran into another alice who became a fortune teller since she could connect to the afterlife. She saw Mikan there. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault," he rubbed his temples.

Biting my lip, I proclaimed, "You're going shopping with me."

He looked at me startled, "What?"

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

"C'mon," I reached out for his arm and hauled him with me to the nearest grocery store for a box of teabags. His puzzlement was quite amusing. However, my heart couldn't fully be remedied by a small bit of humor. It was like someone opened up a scar, and I was bleeding out on the streets. I couldn't even begin to imagine how Natsume was feeling.

"What's your favorite type of tea?" I asked him, as I grabbed an obnoxious yellow shopping basket.

"Whiskey," he shrugged, "I don't drink tea."

"Coffee?"

"Espresso."

"Not surprised."

"Why?" he stopped and furrowed his eyebrows together.

I patted his arm, "Matches your personality, I guess. I mean, can you imagine yourself drinking a vanilla latte at Starbucks? I think that's almost as equivalent to someone putting a dress on you."

"Touché," he resigned back to watching me scan through the many types of tea.

"White tea?" I looked back at him for assurance even though he had no clue who I was getting it for or frankly liked tea.

He nodded, "It has health benefits like lowering blood pressure, raising "good" cholesterol and fighting infections. The antioxidants contributes to a healthy skin. It seems like a good choice."

I stared at him.

He stared back.

I poked him. Irritated, he exclaimed, 'What?"

"You don't like tea…?"

"It doesn't mean that I don't know the health benefits," he cringed as if a bad memory took over, "Anyway. Are we done?"

I will fear no evil; for thou art with me;

"Sure," I smiled at him warmly as we made our way to a cashier, who was shamelessly flirting with him. I covered my mouth, stifling my chortles, watching as he stiffened from her gaze that revealed her rated X thoughts. She threw me contemptuous looks as I commented innocently, "I'm his younger sister. I'm all for it if he dates… But be warned, he sleeps with a stuffed teddy bear and can't go through one day without picking his nose… In public."

That still didn't shatter her hopes.

"Sometimes, when he thinks that I'm not home, he'll wear a wig and one of my dresses belting out, 'I feel pretty. I feel pretty. Oh, so pretty!'"

"Have a nice day," she abruptly handed me my single bag with a box of white tea as she began to address the customer behind us, giving Natsume some peace of mind. Or actually, I should say, leaving Natsume seething to give ME a piece of mind.

"What is wrong with you?"

"Hey," I giggled, "Don't try to burn me. I'm in my element right now."

I gestured grandly at the frosted ground and high mounds of snow. He slapped his hand to his face, "Seriously?"

"Well, I would rather not see her leap over the cash register to jump your bones," I confessed, "Don't blind my virgin eyes."

He blanched. I snorted.

"I don't need to hear about your sex life, vile creature," he rebuked, though the amiable light in his eyes shown in my favor.

I slapped his arm playfully, "Lack of, my friend. Lack of."

"Too much information."

"Ha," was my dry response before changing the subject, "I'll see you…?"

"I'll walk you home," he offered, his eyes averted.

Still a man of action, not words.

I grimaced remembering my situation, "I'm okay."

"No," he breathed out finally, "After today, I'm going out to Paris."

The best friends will be reunited. I frowned a bit, "Alright… I guess."

If he noticed my reluctance, he didn't make a comment. We continued on our path, just joking around like never before. I remember when this guy was so somber and hated my guts. If only he knew the truth, he would reconsider our whole engagement.

Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.

He stepped into my apartment despite my protest. My eyes fluttered closed for a couple seconds, mentally preparing myself for the worst to happen. He let out a war cry, tearing up the room. A picture frame of Persona with his family was knocked over. The couch was flipped over. The television set was smashed in, right at the scene before the dog had to be executed. My eyes couldn't find but to trail after his path of destruction, and finally… Finally, he turned around with hatred in his eyes and venom in his voice, "Goddamnit. You live with Persona? Persona?"

"You don't understand," I quickly moved up to him in an attempt to mollify his anger.

"What the-?" a flash of vulnerability passed through his eyes before being concealed through a wall of hardness. He slammed his thunderous words into my face, "Wow. I thought you fucking changed, Nobara. But noo… You're still that girl who'll attend to his every whim, even after he was the reason why Mikan died? After she stole his alice, it took over her! Are you happy that you're helping out a murderer?"

"Nobara," a frail voice tested out. I wanted usher him inside his room. I wanted to protect him, but horror glued me to the spot, "Who is that?"

"A friend."

I gulped, trying to gauge Natsume's next action. I could've expected the outcome, but a little voice in my head wanted me desperately to believe that Natsume didn't have the same rage as from when he was in the academy. His hand immediately lit up with white fire, the epitome of his anger. There was nothing to stop him.

He aimed it at the man, who smiled in surrender. In a hoarse voice before the fire ended his last heartbeat, "Thank you."

I rushed to the side of my only friend. Something caught in my throat, "How could you? How could you?"

"What."

A cold response. Typical.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;

"This is why I didn't want to tell you!" I screamed, throwing a meek conjured ball of ice at him, "I knew how you felt about him! I thought that you would've matured since we were little, but obviously not."

"He killed people," Natsume rose to his own defense, "He tortured."

"Under command," I shot back at him, "Don't act as if you're innocent too. You were no different. You killed. You tortured."

"I had no choice!" he objected crossly.

"We all didn't," I sobbed, "We were all puppets that the Academy played with. Serio was among with us. What's wrong with you? Couldn't you see that?"

"-" I cut him off for whatever pathetic excuse he had left, "After we left the academy, I stuck by his side. I watched him everyday because I promised him I would. He found a wonderful wife after Mikan stole his alice for good. Did you know that? She was everything Mikan meant to you for him and maybe even more. She saved him from the darkness that consumed him longer than it ever consumed you. He loved her. He really did, Natsume. Everyone didn't think it was possible for him to love, but it was. They had a little boy together a year later."

"Nobara," he tried to calm down my hysteria.

"Let me continue," I inhaled deeply, fighting my way to keep going, "They named him Etsuo, so that the poor kid wouldn't have to endure what Serio went through-"

"Sounds like a great family," Natsume commented sarcastically.

I smashed a ball of ice into him, "You should've seen him. He had the biggest smile on his face and cheered up everything in sight. Persona had the Mark of Death, but this kid? He was the brightest person that I knew. He was the pride and joy of Persona, even after a few guys from the Dangerous Ability Class thought that it'd be fitting to rape his wife and shoot her in the head. We found her years later in the river in the next country. That alone was a warning enough for us. We relocated to another country, hoping that they wouldn't follow us there too."

His eyes widened, but I wanted to finish before my voice failed me, "I was there when the boy's first word was 'momma.' I watched when Serio kept his bedroom door shut and didn't allow us admission for three days straight. Etsuo went to comfort his daddy when the door cracked open slightly. It was the sweetest thing that I've ever seen. The day that Etsuo turned five, we walked him to the elementary school up the street. Serio had given him a stuffed teddy bear for good luck. The boy knew how to walk up and down the street, so we stopped walking him home since it wasn't 'cool' anymore.

"Well, the same guys from the Dangerous Ability Class had plucked him off of the street, knowing that it was Persona's child. They murdered him and got away with it because they were never found. It was his birthday," my voice cracked, "Natsume. We sat at the kitchen table, waiting for Etsuo to run up to the house in high spirits as usual, but he didn't. 'Be patient,' Serio told me as we moved to the front door in anxiety. When nighttime came along, he refused to believe that his son was harmed. 'He probably forgot to call him and is staying over a friend's house, you know. Nobara, don't worry yourself grey,' he said. Five days later, we found Etsuo's body at our doorstep with a note attached, 'we hope this causes you the same pain as you caused us years ago.'

"He slammed the door and walked back inside carrying Etsuo's body. He sat down in that," I pointed at the rocking chair, "exact chair that day. 'Nobara, was I that bad of a man at the Academy? Is that why they had come to hunt down my family? For my past mistakes?' he asked me, stroking Etsuo's blonde hair and locking his eyes dead into mine, 'Why couldn't they just have killed me?'

"I never saw Serio cry. Ever. Not even when his wife died, but when Etsuo died… It was like every hope he had was crushed. At the funeral, he requested 'You've never disappointed me, Nobara. Please never leave me…' What could I say? No?" I choked out the very last part, "I know that he treated you badly. I know that very well. But can't you find it in your heart to forgive him? After all, the past is in the past."

"Nobara…"

Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

"HE WAS FIVE, Natsume!" I blurted out with its irrelevancy, mourning after the child who would've been seven today, "No one deserved to die when they were five! Even if he was Serio's kid. Why did they blame a five year old kid for something that he wasn't even alive for? You killing Serio was exactly what those guys did with that five year old! You killed an innocent."

"Nobara," he shook me by my shoulders, "Serio killed people."

"He might've been a murderer on the outside," I spat out, "But his soul was still innocent. He didn't choose the live that he lived! And neither did we! We killed just as much as he did, but I don't consider myself as a murderer. I don't consider you as a murderer either… Until now! How could you do that Natsume?"

"I'm sorry…" he couldn't even meet my gaze.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life;

I haven't seen Natsume since that day. I smiled bitterly at the imaginary crowd of people who were at Persona's burial. No one was there except for me, the buriers, and the mourners, who had the only purpose of crying over strangers' deaths. It was pitiful.

Persona was strong.

He was brave.

He was an inspiration for me.

When I was in Junior High, I wanted nothing more than to cut the ties to him and emerge to the light alongside Mikan Sakura. I wanted desperately to have my own friends and live my own life, but that's not what destiny had in mind for me. I realized how blinded I was.

Rei Serio, I would never leave you. I'll be there to hold your hand through everything.

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Fin.

Author's Sidenote: I would to claim that I am not, in any shape or form, practicing any religion under the general subject of Christianity. The prayer that I had used, was said to be a prayer frequently is used at funerals. That I'm not sure of (never been to a funeral myself. My family shies away from weddings and etc), but I thought that it was kind-of fitting to the situation.

Besides that, I hope that you enjoyed this chapter!

Have a happy New Year everyone!

P.S Etsuo - joyous life.