This is kinda an angsty poem that Bil (to understand you'd have to read her
poem "All Of Me") wrote a little while back. The voices in my head made me
post it as a Shadow/? romance thing. It's PG for suicide and stuff.
If you enjoy this poem, you can read Bil's other works at allpoetry.com ^-^
*********************
Saved ~Bil
*********************
I'm dying all over again
Pain is ripping through my soul
But, I'm happy
Because I got to see you smile
Yet, I'm sad
Because you also cried
And, I'm angry
Because you tried to stop me
Still, I'm confused
Because you wouldn't let go
Though, I'm scared
Because you were screaming
Only, I'm aching
Because you couldn't stop calling for me
Also, I'm ashamed
Because it's going to hurt you more
You're throwing yourself against the wood
Begging for me to come out
To not do anything rash
Well, look who's talking
You're always getting into trouble
You're crying now
I can hear you slumping against my barrier
You're weeping, my name broken in your tears
Beseeching for me to save us both
Hoping against hope that I'll listen
Wailing that you won't survive without me here
Praying that that'll I'll repay your favor
When you found me
When you nursed me back to health
When you gave me a light of faith
Maybe even a reason to live
I hold the knife to my wrist
Trying to focus
On what I was so intent on doing
Only moments ago
Then you shriek
You yell out something I told you
A long time ago
Something it took me forever to say
Something with so many meanings that it had me frightened
And I hid
But you found me
Then learned my secret
Then saved me the second time
By loving me back
I can hear your strangled cries
I'm killing you too
I look at my hand, my wrist
No longer mine
Your life is what I'm looking at
I'd forgotten how our lives are tied
We are connected
And my death would lead you to follow
Untimely
I refuse to kill you
You've quieted
Do you think I'm already gone?
That I wouldn't hear?
Shame on you
I put down the blade and go to the door
I open it for you
You are curled in a small ball
Sniffling
I kneel beside you
You don't see
You're eyes are glazed with tears
Because you think you've lost me
You're dying inside already
Pining
You let out a cracked moan
Of pain
And longing
And your eyes close
As you begin to shiver
Whispering that you wish I was there
To wrap my arms around you
And warm you
Comfort you
And tell you I'd would never leave
And you give way to silent tears
You're killing me now
But I deserve it
You must be so afraid
So of course you don't see me yet
I place my arms around you
Pulling you to my chest
Running my hand down your face
To soothe you
You stiffen
And your eyes travel to my glove
You blink and take my hand
Holding it, pulling off the glove to see if it's real
I stand, bringing you up with me
And you turn around in my arms
To stare at the one you thought was dead
You've given me that look once before
Pulling you closer to embrace you tightly
And whisper in your ear to stop crying
You're just standing there
Tears still streaming down your face
I push you at arms length
And you look back at me
I think of how to convince you it's me
Since your face is disbelieving
I grin when I realize
The perfect method
I take your chin
And pull your lips to mine
In surprise, you squeal
But the sound is crushed
The moment your lips are mine
I pull you close
And you began to kiss back
We break apart finally
And I think you're almost sure
Your eyes look into mine
Questioning
Begging
I shake my head, and smile gently
And you sob
Throwing your arms around my neck
Breathing heavily your thanks
Your hands trailing through my quills like they always do
Your face buried into my shoulder
Warm breath brushing against my fur
Your passion burning into my ruby eyes
Til I feel my own tears
Happy
Sad
Angry
Confused
Scared
Aching
Ashamed
All for you
I'll always be there
To hold you
And save you
And keep you as close as possible
To the ones you care about
All 78 ga-gillion of 'em
Have I ever told you
That you care too much?
Well, I lied
I think you care just the right amount
We just need to do something
About that I-Don't-Give-A-Damn
Attitude of yours
You're exhausted, I can tell
Fighting for life does that
I pick you up and cradle you against
My chest
You're still murmuring thank yous
Over and over
I shush you and kiss your forehead
Telling you it's bedtime
For you anyway
You panic
Don't you trust me?
You're afraid
That I'll forget while you're asleep
And I won't stay
You wrap your arms around me
And pull yourself as close as you can
Before burying your face in my chest
You hold me tightly, even as I lay you down
I have to pry off your arms
I'm only just leaving when you take my hand
And ask me to stay
Until you fall asleep
I'll oblige
Until you're not afraid anymore
I didn't realize at first
What my selfishness
My fear of this new world
Could've done to you
I'll never destroy you like that
Never
Because I'd rather go to Hell
Then know that while I'm at peace
You will slowly die
Your eyes will fade
Your fur will lose it's luster
And you won't be able to give the smile
That I love so much
I don't want that to happen to you
I won't try it again until you're gone
Then I'll have a new reason
To be with you
And you won't have to worry then
Cause we only die once
The knife I left in the bathroom falls
Thudding on the tile
Echoing throughout our home
You've saved my life again today
I won't hurt you like that anymore
________________________________________________________________________
______
How'd you like it? Compliment or flame, I'm sure Bil will be grateful that
you at least looked.
poem "All Of Me") wrote a little while back. The voices in my head made me
post it as a Shadow/? romance thing. It's PG for suicide and stuff.
If you enjoy this poem, you can read Bil's other works at allpoetry.com ^-^
*********************
Saved ~Bil
*********************
I'm dying all over again
Pain is ripping through my soul
But, I'm happy
Because I got to see you smile
Yet, I'm sad
Because you also cried
And, I'm angry
Because you tried to stop me
Still, I'm confused
Because you wouldn't let go
Though, I'm scared
Because you were screaming
Only, I'm aching
Because you couldn't stop calling for me
Also, I'm ashamed
Because it's going to hurt you more
You're throwing yourself against the wood
Begging for me to come out
To not do anything rash
Well, look who's talking
You're always getting into trouble
You're crying now
I can hear you slumping against my barrier
You're weeping, my name broken in your tears
Beseeching for me to save us both
Hoping against hope that I'll listen
Wailing that you won't survive without me here
Praying that that'll I'll repay your favor
When you found me
When you nursed me back to health
When you gave me a light of faith
Maybe even a reason to live
I hold the knife to my wrist
Trying to focus
On what I was so intent on doing
Only moments ago
Then you shriek
You yell out something I told you
A long time ago
Something it took me forever to say
Something with so many meanings that it had me frightened
And I hid
But you found me
Then learned my secret
Then saved me the second time
By loving me back
I can hear your strangled cries
I'm killing you too
I look at my hand, my wrist
No longer mine
Your life is what I'm looking at
I'd forgotten how our lives are tied
We are connected
And my death would lead you to follow
Untimely
I refuse to kill you
You've quieted
Do you think I'm already gone?
That I wouldn't hear?
Shame on you
I put down the blade and go to the door
I open it for you
You are curled in a small ball
Sniffling
I kneel beside you
You don't see
You're eyes are glazed with tears
Because you think you've lost me
You're dying inside already
Pining
You let out a cracked moan
Of pain
And longing
And your eyes close
As you begin to shiver
Whispering that you wish I was there
To wrap my arms around you
And warm you
Comfort you
And tell you I'd would never leave
And you give way to silent tears
You're killing me now
But I deserve it
You must be so afraid
So of course you don't see me yet
I place my arms around you
Pulling you to my chest
Running my hand down your face
To soothe you
You stiffen
And your eyes travel to my glove
You blink and take my hand
Holding it, pulling off the glove to see if it's real
I stand, bringing you up with me
And you turn around in my arms
To stare at the one you thought was dead
You've given me that look once before
Pulling you closer to embrace you tightly
And whisper in your ear to stop crying
You're just standing there
Tears still streaming down your face
I push you at arms length
And you look back at me
I think of how to convince you it's me
Since your face is disbelieving
I grin when I realize
The perfect method
I take your chin
And pull your lips to mine
In surprise, you squeal
But the sound is crushed
The moment your lips are mine
I pull you close
And you began to kiss back
We break apart finally
And I think you're almost sure
Your eyes look into mine
Questioning
Begging
I shake my head, and smile gently
And you sob
Throwing your arms around my neck
Breathing heavily your thanks
Your hands trailing through my quills like they always do
Your face buried into my shoulder
Warm breath brushing against my fur
Your passion burning into my ruby eyes
Til I feel my own tears
Happy
Sad
Angry
Confused
Scared
Aching
Ashamed
All for you
I'll always be there
To hold you
And save you
And keep you as close as possible
To the ones you care about
All 78 ga-gillion of 'em
Have I ever told you
That you care too much?
Well, I lied
I think you care just the right amount
We just need to do something
About that I-Don't-Give-A-Damn
Attitude of yours
You're exhausted, I can tell
Fighting for life does that
I pick you up and cradle you against
My chest
You're still murmuring thank yous
Over and over
I shush you and kiss your forehead
Telling you it's bedtime
For you anyway
You panic
Don't you trust me?
You're afraid
That I'll forget while you're asleep
And I won't stay
You wrap your arms around me
And pull yourself as close as you can
Before burying your face in my chest
You hold me tightly, even as I lay you down
I have to pry off your arms
I'm only just leaving when you take my hand
And ask me to stay
Until you fall asleep
I'll oblige
Until you're not afraid anymore
I didn't realize at first
What my selfishness
My fear of this new world
Could've done to you
I'll never destroy you like that
Never
Because I'd rather go to Hell
Then know that while I'm at peace
You will slowly die
Your eyes will fade
Your fur will lose it's luster
And you won't be able to give the smile
That I love so much
I don't want that to happen to you
I won't try it again until you're gone
Then I'll have a new reason
To be with you
And you won't have to worry then
Cause we only die once
The knife I left in the bathroom falls
Thudding on the tile
Echoing throughout our home
You've saved my life again today
I won't hurt you like that anymore
________________________________________________________________________
______
How'd you like it? Compliment or flame, I'm sure Bil will be grateful that
you at least looked.