ME: Time for a remake of the ending of "Death Trap."

Jedi General Anakin Skywalker groaned at Admiral Shoan Kilian's stupidity. Sure, the old man had launched a distress beacon, ordered all remaining pilots to either takeoff (if they were fighter jocks) or assist in the evacuation (if responsible for transports like gunships and shuttles), initiated a purge of the ship's computers and databanks-something that would delete any potential juicy intel for the Seppies if they got aboard the Endurance when she finally crashed-and ordered all crew and troops to escape pods, but did he really need to remain aboard a dying Venator-class Star Destroyer?

And Obi-Wan thinks I'm bad for being attached to Artoo. At least droids can think-Jedi Cruisers are about as nonsentient as anything that isn't organic can get.

"Admiral, that is an order!" Master Windu yelled. "An officer is more valuable than a ship going down!"

Kilian glared at the High Jedi General-stupid, considering he was Grand Master Yoda's second-in-command and even Anakin didn't piss in Mace's breakfast without good reason. "An Admiral must go down with his ship!"

The Tatooine native was tempted to roll his eyes, but he settled for turning to Mace's clone commander. "Ponds, can I see your blaster real quick?"

Ponds, genetically engineered by the Kaminoans to be more obedient than his template, Jango Fett, complied if reluctantly doing so. "Right away, sir."

"Thank you."

The Chosen One smiled, set the pistol to stun, and switched the safety off before shooting Kilian.

As the bald Republic Navy officer fell to the ground, the older Jedi glanced at him and sighed. "Really, Skywalker? You just had to stun the motherkarker, didn't you?"

"What?" Anakin told Mace. "It was either that or have everyone put up with his rambling."

The Captain of the Endurance, a clone dressed in a blue uniform, came into view as he helped Ponds drag Kilian. "Sirs, the vital data scavengers are gonna wipe out anything the deletion software didn't get before self-destructing. I suggest you both head to an escape pod, Generals."

Anakin nodded. "Don't worry, Captain. You and Ponds just get Old Man Kilian to a pod, we'll get to our fighters."

When Kilian woke up, he found himself dressed in fatigues typically worn by enlisted sailors. A Mirialan Jedi Master-Luminara Unduli, the Admiral realized-came up to him.

"Greetings, Admiral Kilian," she said. "As punishment for insubordination, you are hereby assigned to two weeks of janitorial duty aboard my flagship, the Tranquility."

By the second day of his stint aboard the Tranquility, Kilian was absolutely miserable and was resigned to scrubbing toilets. Why couldn't the Jedi simply let me die? Why did I have to grow so attached to the Endurance?

The door opened, and two clones came in. Both were in their bodysuits, but while one was scarred and clearly a hardened veteran, the other looked green and inexperienced with his comparatively youthful face.

"Alright, shiny," the veteran said, "help the Admiral polish this head."

"Sarge," the younger trooper complained, "why do I have to help him?"

"Because you're a shiny, that's why," the Sergeant responded. "If you hurry, you'll be able to join the others in policing the ship for cigarette butts and other trash."

The moment the Sergeant left, Kilian chuckled sadly. "Welcome to hell, Private."

ME: A/N: Kilian's actions were flat out stupid in Death Trap. An experienced officer, even below the rank of Admiral, is worth more alive than dead aboard a wrecked ship. His actions not only got himself captured, Ponds and God knows how many clones ended up getting killed because of his decision. Why Anakin and Mace didn't drag him to an escape pod and get him punished for insubordination, the world may never know.