Neville was miserable, there was no other way to describe it. He had thought that the DA was going to be a spectacular idea, a place where he could suddenly surprise even himself with his hidden potential! Yet, it was just another fantasy. Of course he wasn't meant to be the hero, the star of the class. That was for Harry.
"Hey Neville," the voice from behind him shocked him out of his silent brooding, "did you need some help?" Neville turned around so quickly that he tripped over the hem of his robes. He was steadied by a set of unwavering arms. He looked up at his 'rescuer' and saw Harry Potter looking down at him with a hint of amusement but also concern.
"N-n-n-no, I think I g-g-got the h-han-ang of it," stuttered Neville, wincing at his sudden apathy with Professor Quirrell.
"Ok then!" Harry exclaimed brightly, "disarm me then! Give it your best shot." Neville looked terrified at this suggestion, but Harry didn't see this as he walked to the other side of the Room of Requirement. "Ready, Neville?" Harry called across the room. Neville let out a pitiful whimper.
"Ex-expell-ARMUS!" Neville bellowed out the last syllable. The spell whipped out of his wand frantically and chaotically made its way over to Harry, where it proceeded to cause Harry's glasses to explode all over his face. Luckily, Harry had closed his eyes to prevent the damage it might have caused to his eyes. Hermione gasped and ran over to Harry to make sure he was alright. "I'm sorry, I' m so, so, sooo sorry," Neville moaned.
"That's Longbottom for you! Can't even get a SECOND year spell right! What a pathe-" Zacharias Smith was cut-off by the pressure being applied to his shoulders by Fred and George Weasley. But the damage had already been done, Neville just shrank into himself, until he heard applauding.
Everyone looked up to see Harry, with newly fixed glasses applauding Neville. "Well done, Neville!" Harry said proudly, "that was certainly a VERY effective way to disarm me! Remember everybody, that a wand is not the only way to disarm an opponent, look for other potential weaknesses, like my glasses!" most of the DA chortled at this. "I think that we should call it a night, though, it's almost curfew. Thanks for showing up everyone and we'll let you know the time for our next meeting, good night." At that, the DA started to file out of the Room of Requirement, yet Neville stayed at the back of the group, still ashamed of his measly, and disastrous, attempt with the disarming hex.
Soon, the only people left in the room were the Golden Trio and Neville. "Umm, Harry?" Neville started off with a nervous low voice, "can I talk to you please?" Harry raised his eyebrows but nodded his assent. "Ummm, alone please?" Neville squeaked. Ron and Hermione looked shocked but a quick glace and nod from Harry assured them to do as Neville requested.
"What's up, Neville?" Harry asked. Neville wasn't quite sure what he wanted to say and he debated to himself for a few long seconds. In those seconds, Harry's face began to show his concern. "Neville, are you alr-"
"I'M SORRY!" blurted out Neville, quickly and loudly. "I'm useless at Defense, I'm just slowing everyone down, I should just quit. I'm sorry." At this he looked down at his feet dejectedly, waiting for Harry's scorning words, but they never came. A hand settled on his shoulder which caused Neville to look up in shock at being touched in the spirit of camaraderie and not in disgust or loathing.
"You shouldn't quit Neville, you of all people need this," Harry said gently, "we all need to learn to defend ourselves and to be able to fight."
"But Harry," protested Neville weakly, "I can't fight I'm not strong enough, I'm not brave enough, I would just be more of a hazard!" The next words Harry spoke to him, Neville would remember them and live by them in the trying years ahead, and for the rest of his life.
"Neville, I'm not either. I'm not brave or strong, I rush into things and I bring Ron and Hermione into dangerous circumstances, but I found a reason to fight."
"What is your reason? If I jus-"
"No Neville. Your reason has to be your own, we might have the same reason as me but if you don't but still fight for my reason, you will never discover your true self. Remember what Dumbledore said at the Closing Feast our first year? There are many types of courage, what you did, standing up to us your friends, I could never do that. Make no mistake, you are a true Gryffindor Neville Longbottom. Now let's forget about this silly business and go to bed!" With that Harry strode to the door and held it open for Neville. They talked amiably all the way back up to the Gryffindor tower.
"Harry," Neville said softly once they were outside the Fat Lady, "thanks for covering for me today."
Harry just smiled in response and said "Dillygrout", Neville folowed him through the portrait hole and to bed.
-line-
Neville was rooted to the floor, unable to move. There they were, his closest friends looking at his horrible secret. They all looked at him in pity, all except Harry. Harry had a fierce fire burning in his eyes, this made Neville gulp nervously. He did not like to see his hero like this.
"Oh Neville!" cried Hermione as she dashed forwards to hug Neville, "why did you never tell us?"
"What's this, Neville," a sharp voice fro behind him said, causing him to stiffen like a board, "Why wouldn't you tell your friends about your parents? They're not some dirty laundry to be hidden under the bed! You should be proud of what they stood for and for what they protected!" These words made Neville squirm guiltily. Hermione, the ever tactful one, tried to hurry the group out of the room as politely as possible. As the last of the group was leaving the door Neville called out to Harry.
"Harry, could you stay a moment?" Harry shrugged and came back into the room without question, ignoring the odd looks from Ron and the knowing ones from Hermione. As the door closed Neville asked, "Do you pity me Harry? I know everyone else does, but do you?" At this Harry did look taken aback.
"Neville, I need to tell you that I already knew about your parents," At this Neville looked up in shock, his eyes wide as saucers. "I never treated you differently then and I won't now. No, I don't pity you, Neville, I pity the fools that did this, their end will be painful and they'll never find peace." With this Harry walked to the door. He paused as he turned the handle and stated one last thing before he left, "this is why I fight people, for people like our parents." With that he left to rejoin his friends.
-line-
Spells flew everywhere and the streaks of sickly green were not comforting, Neville did not know what to do with himself, why oh why did he volunteer to go to the ministry on a suicide mission? He ducked a vibrant violet spell and fired off a stunner at the offending death eater. Neville wished he could be as powerful and charismatic as Harry, surely that would at lest help to even these stilted odds. Suddenly, Neville saw Luna being double teamed by a pair of hulking death eaters, as they fired the cruciatus curse at her. He ran towards her but did not get there fast enough. Luna's screams seemed to shatter his frail mind set, but as that shattered a fire seemed to ignite in the pit of his stomach and he bellowed at a cry of anger. How dare these monsters hurt his friends, the people who understood and supported him, the people he shared wonderful memories with! The death eaters lifted the curse in shock but had no time to react as Neville yelled out "Expelliarmus!" sending the two death eaters' wands flying, he quickly stunned them and hurried over to Luna.
"Are you ok, Luna?" Neville frantically asked. Luna shivered a little and seemed to crawl into his chest and whimper.
"They weren't very nice were they?" Luna whispered hoarsely, "but yes, I think I am ok, after all that curse did get rid of all those distracting wrackspurts." She said that last bit a little more confidently. But what she said next was said in a whisper once again "thank you for saving me Neville, that really wasn't very pleasant."
"No need to thank me, Luna, what do you think friends are for," at those words Luna looked up wide eyed as if this was indeed something she never learned from her precious Quibbler.
"We are friends?" at Neville's smile and nod she broke out into a smile and hugged him. She then said something that rocked his very foundation, "you know, not all lions roar out loud."
Neville looked at her oddly, not understanding Luna's statement. But as voices neared they had no time to ponder their situation. They got up and Neville supported Luna as they fled the death eaters. They made their way through a labyrinth of rooms, Neville helped Luna while pondering his actions. The way he had handle the two death eaters was other worldly compared to his usual performance in the DA. What had suddenly changed. Harry's words echoed in the back of his mind: "but I found a reason to fight". It struck Neville then, is reason to fight was to protect his friends, not to please his grandmother and parents, not for vengeance, but to protect those that mattered most to him. With this revelation Neville found that his confidence soared and that he was proud of himself, why should he change? After all:
Not All Lions Roar Out Loud
A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this story of self-discovery. I felt Neville is a character every reader can relate to and his desire to be more than he is but throughout the books he continue to demonstrate that he is just s much a hero as Harry, even if his actions don't 'speak' as loudly as Harry's. I also apologize for my writing on Luna. She is one of my favorite characters but I try and avoid using her because I can't do her justice but she and Neville are two peas in a pod and her knack for stating the obvious and not so obvious answers to the inner turmoils of her friends was just begging for me to put her in. Hope you like it! -Haatar