Universal Championship Wrestling
UCW
J. Jonah Jameson: Welcome to Universal Championship Wrestling where characters from all over battle it out for our ultimate prize: The UCW championship!!! I'm J. Jonah Jameson!!
Borg Queen: And I am your soon too be queen…the Borg Queen!!
(Crickets can be heard in the background)
JJJ: Looks like nobody's impressed, Queen. The only place you'd make in MY paper, the Daily Bugle, is the want ads. I can see it now. " I want an audience and am willing to pay good money. BOO HOO BOO HOO. If you are interested, contact 1 800 BOO HOOY."
Borg Q.: How dare you mock me, you old hound! I have the power to make you into one of my drones!!
JJJ: You already have!! I fell asleep the second you opened your mouth!
Borg Q.:I…I can't be that boring. Shut up. SHUT UP!!
JJJ: Don't you DARE tell me to shut up, queen. I have powers of my own!
Borg Q.: What powers could a lowly fleshy such as yourself have?
JJJ: The POWER OF THE WRITTEN WORD!!
Borg Q.: 'Mockingly'(GASP) Not the power of the written word?!? HA HA HA HA!! Oh JJJ you are so funny when you want to be.
JJJ: Well...thanks..I...WAIT!! HOW DARE YOU MOCK THIS POWER!! THIS POWER WOULD BEAT YOURS ANY DAY!!
Borg Q.: You seem to forget what my power is, fleshy!! I can take your " power of the written word " and corrupt it for use of my own means!!
JJJ: THE WRITTEN WORD WILL NOT BE CORRUPTED YOU SKANKY COMPUTER!!
( A fight breaks out as JJJ tackles the queen to the ground. Newscasters and borg drones come from all sides to try and break it up. Instead, a ref comes out and orders everybody away from the fight.)
Match 1: Hardcore match: J. Jonah Jameson vs The Borg Queen
Spider-man: ( Web slinging into JJJ's chair. Spidey puts on the headset.) Aaaand the fight is on!! It looks like the old skinflint is holding his own with a typwriter in his hands; hitting the queen over the head while writing a scrutinizing report on how the queen can't get a good man.
Deadpool: ( Teleporting into the Borg Queens throne. Deady snatches the other headset from a lowly maintanence man and shoots him with his gun. ) But it seems that the borg witch...oops...I mean the Borg Queen is stronger than she looks!! She's snatched the typewriter right out of Skinflints hands and has corrupted it like she promised!!
Spider-Man: That's the Corruption Slam!! My GOD!! I can't believe what I'm seeing!! I actually feel sorry for that old skinflint!! That's supposed to be HIS move!!
Deadpool: And why, pray tell, would YOU feel sorry for him? He uses that move against you all the time!
Spider-man: Well yeah, but.... COMMON!!
( The Borg Queen, having used JJJ's own move against him, pins him to the ground. )
Ref: 1....2....3!!!
( The Ref raises the Queens hand up in victory as the crowd, along with Spidey and Deady stare in shock.)
Borg Q.: ( with microphone in her hands ) Hello my drones!! ( Crowd boos and chants SKANKY SKANKY!! ) I now have the power of the press, thanks to JJJ who lies on the ground here, and my next move will be to become the new UCW commishoner!!( Crowd boos get even louder. ) It is I who will decide the fate of the UCW championship!! It is I who will decide who will have the slightest chance of being on the show!! ( Crowd boos continue. ) But...I do believe that JJJ may have been right in saying that I might be a little too boring for this job. So...what I'm going to do is go through the entire roster of the UCW, and randomly pick who will fight against who. Seeing that the only one that has dared to come against me is lying here on the ground, I will be fair to the rest of the roster...unless...someone else decides to make something out of it!! But...beware...if any of you in this roster make that decision, I will make life unbearable for that individual!!( She waits a bit in case somebody wants to come out.) Good. then on to bussiness as it should be. The next match will be...( you can see her eyes go white as she goes through the roster to pick a random wrestler.)...Wolverine vs Riddick!!
Next Match: Wolverine vs Riddick: Steel Cage match!!