Disclaimer: You know, it would be so much easier to just own Merlin at this point so we would be able to stop having to have this sort of conversation already. Unfortunately, I do not know how one would go about making something like that a reality—I assume a lot of money and death threats and blackmail would be involved, which is a messy sort of business, from what I've read and seen on TV—so it appears we're all screwed when it comes to that department.

So Kiss Me

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Merlin seemed to have gotten even more annoying these last few days—or was it just Arthur's imagination? Well, a week in the woods was bound to do that to anyone, put them a bit over the edge, make them… well, how Merlin normally was. Which meant it was bound to make Merlin worse than he normally was. Which was even more annoying than usual.

His prattle was even more useless, his insults nowhere near witty or clever—honestly, if they didn't finish this quest and get back to Camelot soon, Arthur was sure he was going to need a new manservant by the time they did return. Because he was either going to kill Merlin or leave him in the woods somewhere along the way for the elements and nature to do with him what they would. Whichever was more convenient at the time.

It all came to a heat, however, sooner than Arthur would have expected—and, really, maybe their time away from Camelot was stressing him out more than he thought it was, because one second Merlin was making dinner and prattling on and on and on to him and the knights, and the next Arthur was shouting at him, telling him to just shut up already because dear God, it's been a week and he's not shut up for even a second—he's even been talking in his sleep and if Arthur doesn't have a moment of silence he swears he's going to—

"So kiss me, then." Merlin interrupted, chin jutting out defiantly even as his cheeks were stained red.

"What?" Arthur sputtered out, reeling back slightly when Merlin's words hit him. Because there really was no way he'd heard him right…

"Kiss me, and I'll be quiet." Merlin repeated, his voice shaking slightly as he stood from where he'd been crouched in front of the fire, hands coming to rest on his hips as he stared Arthur down..

Arthur swallowed, looking past the challenge in Merlin's eyes to his knights, to the way their mouths were hanging open, all watching intently for what Arthur would do, how he would respond. Thankfully, it was only Leon, Percival, Gwaine, and Elyan out with them, otherwise… otherwise this whole conversation would have been going very differently.

Arthur's eyes slid back over to Merlin's and he let a wry grin take over his face before he took one step forward, and then another, hooked his arms around Merlin and yanked him forward, kissed him with all the stress and anxiety that had built up lately, felt him sigh against him and leaned into him even more, throwing caution to the wind as he cupped his cheek, kissed him harder, deeper, again and again and again, forgetting wholly that this was just supposed to be a ploy to get a bit of silence.

Breaking apart with faux finality, Arthur panted as he rested his forehead against Merlin's. And then, remembering why he'd done that at all, swooped back down and kissed him again.

"There. Now. Shut. Up. All. Rea. Dy. You. Stu. Pid. Clot. Pole." He said between tiny kisses, trying to pretend he wasn't enjoying this as much as he was.

"Sure." Merlin whispered, almost chuckling as he pressed forward and stole another chaste kiss from Arthur before untangling himself from his grasp and getting back to the food, silent as a stone as he went about with the other odd chores and tasks he would need to have done before they ate and turned in for the night.

At least, Arthur thought to himself as he rejoined his knights and went on as though nothing out of the ordinary had just happened, he knew how to shut Merlin up now. And he would most definitely be making use out of that information in the future.

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