Ichigo almost wishes he could go back to that day to do and say what he should have. It didn't really matter now that it was over, but he couldn't help but think of how it had been and, perhaps, how it should have been.

Ichigo's thoughts on his battle with Aizen, based after chapter 423, but inspired by the events of chapters 396 and 397.

Death by Hubris

Looking back on the confrontation, Ichigo knew what he should have done, what he should have said. The month of rest he'd had after he'd defeated Aizen was due to more than just losing his powers as a Shinigami. He hadn't thought of it much until it was all over, but now that he had the time to actually stop and think, instead of making a headlong rush into everything, he could see that he'd been exhausted, both physically and mentally.

The Ichigo that had confronted the Vaizard in desperation had been at his wits end and the confidence he'd gained while training with them had been stripped from him mere hours after entering Hueco Mundo. The feeling of accomplishment that came with defeating Grimmjow had almost instantly been replaced by dread at encountering Nnoitra. Nell's transformation into a full grown woman did little more than cause confusion and concern to well within him. His battle with Ulquiorra did nothing but further terrify, upset, and confuse him. He hadn't had time to be fully healed by Inoue after that particularly nasty battle as his other friends were being decimated by Yammi. And even after the timely arrival of Zaraki, Byakuya, Unohana, and Kurostuchi he still couldn't rest because Aizen had already entered the world of the living intent on destroying Karakura, if not the whole blasted world. When he finally reached the fake town of Karakura he found that almost all of his allies were half-dead and that his sword still could not reach the ex-taichou, even after all of his frantic training.

He'd been training and fighting for days, weeks, months- he couldn't really remember anymore- with little sleep and even less rest between each new battle. His friends and family, his entire world was on the verge of destruction and he still lacked the power to save anyone or anything. And after all of this, Aizen decides that now is a good time to tell him that he'd orchestrated some of the most life changing and important events in his life. Events that were only second to the death of his beloved mother, and that was saying something. What else had he been expected to do but be shocked, and confused, and so very frightened? He'd been thrown for such a loop that he hadn't been sure what to do with himself. But looking back, he knew. He very easily remembered the smug expression on Aizen's face and he knew that there was only one emotion he should have felt:

Kurosaki Ichigo should have been annoyed. He should have been absolutely enraged.

At first, he had only been able to register the sensation of his world lurching, tilting- completely staggering as it tried to right itself while still processing the unbelievable truths he was suddenly faced with. He was bloody well reeling from the shock of learning that Aizen had basically choreographed his life for so many months- choreographed his struggle to power and position as 'last hope,' as 'savior.' He was reeling if for no other reason than that the goddamn evil genius had the astounding ability to calculate not only his moves, thoughts, and decisions, but also those of the people he'd encountered on that path to power. Just the concept of such a seemingly monumental feat seemed preposterous. But he knew that Aizen wasn't lying. No one but he, Byakuya, and Rukia knew of his partial hollowfication at the Soukyoku. And none but he, Ishida, and Inoue should have known about the power he'd gained- the power he'd nearly lost himself to- during his fight with Ulquiorra. Observation, espionage, and dubious interest were the only things that could explain such knowledge. His brain finally caught up with what the wannabe god was saying: all his battles to this point had been planned out, that he had been unwittingly lead to this exact moment.

And this was the moment where everything should have been different from what had already passed. He day-dreamed about what he should have thought, what he should have realized, what he should have said and done.

For a momet Ichigo had been surprised that Aizen held so much confidence in him, in the notion that whatever was put in his path would be overcome. Another moment passed and he returned his attention to his brunette opponent, berating himself for being so distracted in the first place. He refocused on Aizen, on his nonchalant voice, his leisurely stance (or rather, lack thereof), his self-satisfied expression. Suddenly the irritation, annoyance, the outright anger surfaced in him.

The arrogant bastard thought that he could take credit for all of his accomplishments. This self-righteous ass was acting as if he had fought all of Ichigo's battles himself. And all the teen could think was: 'How dare he? How dare he?'

Aizen Sousuke may have designed and scheduled every one of his battles, but it was Kurosaki Ichigo who had trained, and fought, and won each of those battles. How dare this traitorous bastard try to take credit for any of it- for either his victories or his losses. Those things were his, and his alone. He'd earned every scar, every night lost to training instead of sleep, every bruise, every ounce of pain. They were his and, regardless that this sentiment implied that he was a complete masochist, he wouldn't trade these things for anything in this world, or in any other.

He knew that he wouldn't even have traded these things for the return of his mother because they both would regret what he had sacrificed- her most especially, and he would never allow her to suffer on his account. She'd sacrificed her life to save him and all that he could become and he would never allow her sacrifice to be in vain. And for that, if nothing else, he should have been furious with Aizen Sousuke. He was trying to take not only from him and his mother but also from all those who had taught and inspired him- Sado, Rukia, Urahara, Yoroichi, Byakuya, Hirako, Grimmjow- he was taking the triumphs of not just him, but of everyone that was now, or ever had been, entrenched in his life.

The day-dream ended there. It seemed a small and insignificant dream, but it was enough to change all that could have happened, things that maybe should have happened.

Looking back he was sure that if he'd had the presence of mind to realize these things that he would have easily allowed his hollow to slip his leash and ever so violently and enthusiastically bash Aizen's skull in. Of course, after that he probably would have- at the very least- killed Soi Fon taichou for always belittling him and telling him not to stick his nose in Shinigami business. And of course the Soutaichou would have been annihilated for having the audacity to tell him that the battle with Aizen was none of his concern. After the two of them who knew who else he might have butchered? Perhaps Urahara for using him? Maybe His father for lying to him? There was no telling with whom the river of blood would have ended- if would have ever ended. For his restraint alone he was glad that he hadn't quite grasped Aizen's words or even what, exactly, was going on.

In the end he supposed he could forgive his slow, exhausted mind. After all, it was in that less than desirable state, with nothing but a bit more training, that he managed to fight on par with the man who had spent hundreds of years striving to become god and go on to win that monumental battle with little to no doubt of his victory. After all was said and done he decided that he could be content in the knowledge that it was arrogance, the same arrogance that made the ex-taichou think that he could take credit for his accomplishments, that defeated him in the end. Aizen Sousuke had had so much faith that he would overcome all the trials that he'd set in front him. With such faith and high expectations the man should have known that Kurosaki Ichigo needed to be the first on his hit list. His overwhelming arrogance that he knew the orange-haired teen inside and out, arrogance that he could allow him to live to the end, that he would have the chance to gloat and devour him when all was said and done. It was all so ironic.

Death by hubris. Kurosaki Ichigo was sure he'd never before heard anything so poetic.

Thanks so much for reading this fic. It was just a thought that I couldn't get out of my head after chapters 396 and 397. Hope you like it.