I took my gun out of my pocket and shot him, he fell out the window and all the way down. I'm glad we're on the second story.
We heard a loud thump and mike scream.
Would you keep it down! I yelled.
God some people are so rude, I told Edward.
Bella! He said astonished.
What!
What did you do that for, he yelled.
Cuz he was buggen the hell out of me.
Go down there and help him, he said.
Yeah, I would but I gotta go pretend to do something.
Bella, you better help him and hope he doesn't try and sue you, you know you can't afford your 3rd strike.
Pshh 3rd strike, boy I don't know what you talkin about I'm on my 5th strike.
Bella!
Yea whatev, I walked out and went home.
A few days later.
Edward was over my house and we were just chillen.
I'm going to go check the mail, I said.
All right I'll be waiting for you.
I got the mail and walked back in.
Bills, I said going through the mail
Bills
Bills
Bills I'm not going to pay
More Bills I'm not going to pay.
Lawsuit I'm not going to attend.
Bills I'm not going to pay.
Wait a minute, Edward said.
What was that other one, he asked.
You mean the lawsuit one, I asked.
Yes, the lawsuit one, he mocked.
What about it, I asked.
Well first of all what's it for, He asked.
Lord knows what its for this time, I said. All I know is that I'm not going to it.
Bella let me see it, he said.
Suit yourself, I said throwing it at him.
He read it and his face grew darker as he read it.
Its Mike, he's suing you for shooting him.
Ughh, what a whimp. He can't even take one little bullet.
Edward stared at me in a way that said what the hell is wrong with you.
You can't just not go to this, he said.
Watch me, I said.
Bella, you'll just get in more trouble.
If I go, will you shut up, I said.
Yes.
Fine then I'll go.
Aren't you worried at all, He said concerned.
Naw
Why not, he asked.
Why would I be, I asked
Cuz you might go to jail, he said anxiously.
I just burst out laughing.
That's a good one Edward, ha ha.
Soon the day came and I went to court. This was a big waste of my time if you ask me. But it got Edward to shut up so it was worth it.
I stood before the judge.
Young lady you have been accused for shooting Mike Newton and pushing him out the window. Have you done these things.
I didn't push him he fell, I protested.
So you did shoot him, the judge asked.
Yea, I stated the obvious.
Well why did you do it? He asked.
Because he was being annoying as crap, I said.
That's not a reason to shoot someone.
Correction, 56 amendment- Federal annoyance, when somebody commit's a crime of federal annoyance the victim has the right to shoot them, I said.
There are only 27 amendments, the judge said.
Correction, there are 82 amendments in the constitution.
What! That is…
I call Angela to the witness stand, I said
She wasn't even there during the crime, you can't call her to the stand.
Correction, 69th amendment- I have the right to call a non- witness to the witness stand, I said.
Edward look like he was going to kill himself.
Angela, how many amendments are there, I asked.
There are 27 amen…
Off the stand, I interrupted yelling at her.
I call myself to the witness stand, I said.
You can't do that, the judge protested.
Correction, 44th amendment- I may call myself to the witness stand, I said.
So Isabella Swan, I said.
Yes, I answered myself.
What happened the night that Mike Newton was shot, I asked.
He committed a crime of Federal annoyence and I shot him, I told myself.
Oh so he committed a crime of federal annoyence, I said astonished.
Yes, I told myself.
Ok you may get off the witness stand, I said to myself.
Ok… the judge said slowly, does her attorney have anything to say, he asked.
Edward stood up (he was my attorney).
According to the second amendment Mrs. Swan had the right to bear arms…
What! That doesn't make any sense, I protested. Why would I give a bear my arms, I said.
Shh Bella sweetie don't speak without a script.
Also may I point out that Mr. Newton was on private property and that Mrs. Swan could have mistaken him for a trespasser.
Ok you may sit down, the judge said to Edward.
But it says here that you never registered to have a gun, the judge said turning back to me.
Correction, 99th Amendment- people with green eyes and brown hair do not have to register in order to posses weapons, I said.
You just said that there are only 82 amendments, the judge yelled.
Correction, another 17 amendments have been added in the past 20 minutes, I said.
The judge took a deep breath and started rubbing his temples. I will let you go, free of charge if you just shut up and leave right now, he said annoyed.
Correc…yea now your feelin me see ya later ma homie, I said as I walked out.
There see Edward, there was never anything to worry about, I said.
You just got lucky, he said.
No it was my incredible wits that got me through this, I said.
Edward hit his head in frustration.
I still can't believe that the judge didn't know all of his amendments, I said.
Edward rolled his eyes, yes neither can I, He said.