Jet

by mkkstartrek

Doctor Julian Bashir's soft heart and compassionate nature lead him into a friendship with a lonely traveler left behind on DS9, a friendship that also turns out to have emotional consequences for Elim Garak. How will these relationships coexist? Contains Garak/Bashir slash content.

I was born on Starbase 18. I never knew my father, and have only dim memories of my mother, but I'll never let myself believe that she abandoned me. I prefer to think, instead, that circumstances pulled her away from me - to this day, she may still be searching for me and trying to find me. Lest that sound too tragic, though, let me quickly add that I was adopted by an unconventional but close-knit human family when I was very young, and almost every memory I have of growing up is a happy one. I've never been able to really "blend in" with my new family, though; this is primarily due to the fact that my race cannot communicate with most other humanoid races through any form of spoken or written language. It may be hard for you to believe, but it is the truth. Without a Vulcan to whom I could tell my story, during the long cold nights on Deneb IV, you'd never be hearing from me now. While I understand almost everything said to me, and quite frequently attempt to answer and to converse, I have long ago discovered that the sounds that come out of my mouth are incomprehensible to nearly all the humanoid races with whom I come in contact. I've been told that my brain is missing a section or component that governs most language skills, and no amount of training or concentration will ever enable me to master those skills. No Universal Translator ever tested will work with my species, despite all the best efforts of some of the Federation's most brilliant scientists. Consequently, I've learned to adapt; I've had to.

My family had even given me some jewelry engraved with my name and other information, as a concession to language-dependent society. I find that other beings become much more comfortable around me if they know what to call me, unfamiliar as I am to many of them in other respects. I most decidedly do not appreciate the way these beings sometimes lapse into what I have learned to regard as "baby talk" upon making my acquaintance, though - I have always been quite small but I'm no baby. My family gave me the name "Jet" at my adoption - I'm told it describes a deep, glossy black Earth mineral. Yes, I've got the black hair all right, and my father was always fond of telling me that I was "semi-precious" too, just like the real jet, to which I would always groan indulgently. My real name, in the Vulcan fashion, is unpronounceable by anyone except Vulcans and my helpful translator - not even I myself can say it well.

I tell you all these things in order to gain your understanding. I'm not human or humanoid in any respect. Even the name I give to members of my race cannot be translated into the Standard alphabet. Yet I have steadfastly refused to go through life unable to communicate, pining away after the companionship of others of my own kind - the nomadic life my family has always led, journeying from starbase to starbase and job to job in search of fulfillment, has always made that companionship difficult to obtain in any case. Instead, I have grown to love interacting with humans, Vulcans, and the other races of the Federation. I feel at home with them, having spent my entire life among them, and have become quite adept at using sounds, gestures, and eye movements to communicate with them in attempts to convey my meaning. In fact, I've also become quite adventurous as I've grown into young adulthood. I must take after my family in that respect, although my father says that I'm now too independent for my own good at times, while my mother, despite her attempts to understand me, still knows how to smother me with her protectiveness. I'm now an adult female after all, whether or not they recognize and accept the changes in me.

Perhaps that is the reason, when we stopped at Deep Space Nine, that I was more than usually tempted to set out and do some exploring on my own. I loved the busy life of the station, all the hustle and bustle and activity. My family was "between jobs" for a few days, having just spent six months at different orbital shipyards unloading freight for a Ferengi merchant, and I feel guilty for saying this but it was so nice to forego their companionship for a little while and spend some time alone, getting to explore new places at last. I never dreamed, though, that I'd miss the transport ship. I never dreamed that the rest of my family would be forced, heartbroken, to leave me behind after waiting as long as they dared for me to return. We were headed out to a remote Denebian mining colony where we were told workers were urgently needed; a missed transport would mean a one month wait for the next one, and my parents could not afford that. So I don't blame them for leaving without me. I had been dreading life in the colony anyway, the dirt, the isolation, the cold, the Spartan living quarters; DS9 was a luxurious paradise in comparison. Still, when I finally arrived, breathless, at the docking bay, to find the doors closed and the ship gone, I admit that I sank down onto the floor, all alone, and wailed. My behavior was childish in the extreme, but at that point I did not care.

As I've emphasized, I could not communicate through any sort of language-based means, with anyone on the station. I knew my family would have left information about me, enlisting the help of the station's administrators in looking out for me. And I'm sure they knew in their hearts that, despite our differing physiologies, I was an adult now and able to manage somewhat on my own, difficult as that might prove. Still, to be completely unable to communicate, to be surrounded by strangers who would have no idea how to interpret the language conveyed by my movements and sounds - it would be a very difficult existence after all. My wish for independence was not, I fervently hoped, about to be granted in an uncomfortable or even frightening way.

But for now, I was alone, and whether I liked it or not, I had missed my ship, was now on my own, and had better begin making living arrangements for myself. I strolled disconsolately back to the area known as the Promenade, my head down, my movements listless. I had spent the morning amusing myself in the lower reaches of the station, wandering in and out of unused rooms and dark passages; not only had I made it impossible for anyone to find me and any station-wide announcements to reach me, but I had also worked up a tremendous appetite that I would now find difficult to satisfy. Mmm - the unmistakable scent of roasted meat tickled my nostrils, and I instinctively headed toward it. The doors of the tavern known as "Quark's" swooshed open at my approach. Quark, the Ferengi proprietor, a rather nervous but not unfriendly sort of man, glanced at me but returned to his work. Ah. He had obviously not been told I was "missing." That could be a problem, however - I was carrying no money or other means of payment, I was hungry, and I was totally unable to ask him for food. Two Bajorans at a far-off corner table rose to their feet just then and headed for the exit, their meals only half-eaten, the dishes tantalizingly spread out over the table. I licked my lips - I had never been squeamish about food, and especially not now; I amusedly reflected that if I didn't eat soon, I'd have to return to the lower decks and resort to capturing some of the voles that were abundant down there. Bah - not funny after all - the very idea made my stomach turn. But the hunger stayed, as did my resourcefulness. Hesitantly, I approached the table, my eyes darting back to the Ferengi every few seconds. He had been friendly enough to me in his few previous encounters with me, as I mentioned; a little uncomfortable around me, a little suspicious, but I suppose that is to be expected since our species were so very different. Still, I wondered how he'd react to what I was about to do - I had a feeling, though, that he wouldn't be pleased. Well, I was hungry, and didn't care.

When I reached the table, I very gingerly and carefully began choosing the choicest morsels off of the plates and quickly devouring them; no one else in the bar paid the slightest attention, hidden as I was in the shadows, working so quietly. Ah, but not quietly enough for a Ferengi - I had foolishly forgotten about the ears.

"Just what do you think you're doing?" Quark hissed at me, meters away from the table. "Did I say you could clean the plates here? Get out." I stared at him and tried to radiate an aura of helpless confusion. It didn't work. "Get out, I said! That's disgusting! No beggars allowed here!" Humiliated, I had begun to back away from the table, but I suppose I didn't move fast enough for Quark, who picked up a fork and threw it at me. In all fairness to him, I think he had only meant to frighten me, but the tines of the fork scraped against a soft patch of skin on my leg, and a trickle of blood began to ooze out. I stifled a cry, and an insult, and hurried out of the bar. Stupid Ferengi - I was a guest on that station after all, a visitor. Surely even Quark could learn to be a little kinder. Then again, he probably just thought of me as a little child he could bully. I WAS small for my age, and always had been so; that, however, could not excuse his cruelty.

My anger at Quark served to ease the pain in my leg, but not for long. He had evidently managed to tear some skin with his crudely-aimed fork. Stupid Ferengi, I thought again. I couldn't go back to my family's former quarters - the rooms had undoubtedly already been reassigned to other guests, and my voice would no longer release the security lock. Damn. There was nothing I could do but try to find someone who knew who I was, and could help me. I remembered that the station was under the command of a Captain Sisko - he would probably know of me, but I had no idea how to locate him, none at all. Jadzia Dax, the Trill, the one I remembered as being especially kind to me in my wordless condition - she'd be able to help me. But she, too, would be somewhat difficult to locate, among all these hurrying people and all this babble of voices. I sat down on the carpeted floor and tried to ponder my next move. But I wasn't able to remain there for long - Nog, a young Ferengi whom I recalled was the son of Quark's brother Rom, spotted me and had begun hurrying over in my direction. During my short time on the station, he had been most persistent in his attentions to me and I, in turn, found him annoying and his pursuit unpleasant. To be trapped here with him for a month now, till the next transport could take me to the mining colony - well, maybe my inadvertent success in remaining on DS9 was not so clever after all. I jumped to my feet and ran down the corridor in the opposite direction from the Ferengi. The surroundings became more and more unfamiliar as I hurried along, but what did it matter? Could I ever really be lost, on a self-contained space station? I sheepishly recalled that my family had certainly found out I could be, but anything was better than being cornered by Nog.

Still, I couldn't have gone too far; the traffic in the corridor remained fairly heavy. My sensitive nostrils noticed, too, that an unusual odor seemed to emanate from one of the doorways, a clean, almost antiseptic smell. A "medical" smell. Yes - there must be a doctor, or a nurse, somewhere beyond that door. It opened and a woman emerged, flexing her fingers and calling back cheerfully over her shoulder. I flattened myself against another doorway and listened.

"Thanks again, Julian. I'll be a little more careful next time."

Believe it or not, there IS such a thing as 'overtraining,' Major," the man who must have been named Julian answered; what a pleasant, kind voice he had. The woman strode purposefully away down the corridor, not even glancing in my direction. I hesitantly approached the room she had just left. The door slid open as I got closer, startling me and drawing the attention of one of the most gorgeous human males I had ever seen. He was partially leaning over a counter, entering something into a datapadd, but he turned his head as I approached and a radiant smile spread across his face. I gasped involuntarily. This was the doctor? He was beautiful. My heart began to pound as he straightened up and walked toward me, leaning down again to address me - in addition to being one of the most attractive humans I had seen on the station, he was also one of the tallest.

"You must be Jet," he smiled happily.

"Yes," I answered, then realized that of course he couldn't understand. He behaved as if he did, though, which pleased me.

"I'm very, very glad you finally turned up - your family was worried sick about you. They had half the station looking for you." I tried to appear suitably contrite. "Tell me honestly - were you really lost? Or did you miss that transport on purpose?" He paused, as if waiting for my answer, which of course I couldn't give. Then he smiled again, very close to my face, and I again marveled at how beautiful he was, and how sweet. "Well, I don't blame you. Deneb IV is a difficult place to live. I spent two weeks there once and I don't plan to return if I can help it." I beamed up at him. "Besides," he continued, "you're grown now, you should be allowed to choose where you want to live. If you want to stay here, then you should. I remember how possessive parents can be." He winked conspiratorially. I was completely won over by him, if I hadn't been already, completely charmed by his pleasant manner and his kindness.

"I need a place to live for a month," I told him; he had already begun speaking, as if he read my thoughts.

"You'll be here a month - I'm sure we'll find someone you can stay with." My heart sank. 'Someone I could stay with,' as if I had no choice in the matter? I wanted the privacy of my own quarters, my own chance at independence. I guess I couldn't have everything. My family was far from well off, after all; perhaps private quarters were too expensive and they hadn't been able to leave me much money. I sighed resignedly. The doctor - Julian - heard me and evidently thought I was sighing with pain. His smile faded and his eyes traveled down to my leg, which I was holding stiffly while balancing most of my weight on my other foot. "What happened to you? Are you hurt?" Without waiting for an answer, his gentle fingers had begun to gingerly feel the area around the gash, where blood had crusted and dried. I suppose he hadn't noticed it at first against my darker coloring. But now he repeated soothing words to me, helping me up onto his examination table and carefully positioning the leg in front of me. My race does not wear much clothing as a rule, but I felt rather shy as the doctor's - as Julian's - hands slid down my legs, examining the injured site and comparing it to the other limb. If he only knew how good that felt. But he was now absorbed in his task and didn't even look at my face as he cleaned the wound, then applied some type of medicine and a bandage, explaining as he did so, "I'm not actually familiar enough with your species to be able to use a dermal regenerator on your skin. I'm afraid you'll have to wear a bandage for a few days." I didn't mind, especially if it gave me the chance to see him again. I sat and gazed into his long-lashed eyes as he busily re-applied the bandage so it would cling to the wound. As he finished, the door opened once more and I cringed when a dreaded voice called out to me.

"Jet! That wasn't nice, running away from me like that." Nog had found me after all, and addressed the doctor. "I heard Jake say she's got to stay here for a month. I was hoping she'd want to stay with my dad and me!" If I could have blanched, I would certainly have done so. Luckily, Julian answered for me - he must have seen the look of terror in my eyes.

"Jet is now under my care, and will be staying with ME this month. Run along, please, Nog - I think you're upsetting her." The Ferengi grimaced and started to protest, then turned, defeated, and left us alone once more. I looked up at Julian gratefully.

"That's all right; I'm sorry he scared you. It's hard to get used to Ferengi - you've probably never even seen one before you arrived here!" I've been living with them for the past six months, I wanted to say, but I knew he wouldn't understand me. Besides, my thoughts were in too much of a whirl to even attempt to communicate anything now - did he just say I was going to be staying with him? After just meeting him? I felt a warm thrill of anticipation run through me - I had made the right decision indeed, remaining behind on DS9. Even though I knew that his offer had come simply because I was injured and needed a place to recover, I hoped deep down in my heart that other feelings, other motivations, could shortly take the place of his compassionate doctor's concern. Well, I could dream, anyway.

"Are you hungry?" he asked me. I nodded, still in a sort of daze. "Why don't you come along with me now - I was just going to meet a friend of mine for lunch." He paused. "He may not be completely - familiar - with your species, so don't be offended if he seems a little unfriendly at first. All right?" I nodded again, not really knowing if Julian could interpret that gesture, but not really caring either. I jumped off the table, landing squarely on the injured leg by mistake, and let out a muffled squeal. Julian was at my side in a heartbeat. "You should have let me help you! I hope that didn't hurt too much." I shook my head bravely. He finished his other tasks, and we left the room together - the infirmary, I finally realized it was called. Strange, harsh name for such a happy place. Well, could any place where Julian worked not be happy?

He spoke to me about his day, as we walked side by side back to the Promenade. I was thrilled to be alone with him, and to be the recipient of all his attention - he was quite an amusing speaker, and I snickered once or twice at his comments. He grinned when that happened; my laugh, after all, sounds nothing like a humanoid laugh but still must be rather funny to hear, based on the reactions I received. We reached the door of Quark's and my good humor vanished,. We weren't actually going back inside there, were we? Julian had already entered the bar and looked back at me expectantly.

"Come, Jet - come inside. Garak's waiting." I began to back away slightly. "What's the matter? Why aren't you coming? Are you afraid?" I was about to answer when Quark himself, working behind the bar, caught sight of me and called over to Julian.

"No! She can't come in here! She's a beggar. I've had to chase her out of here once already." I nearly died of embarrassment. If I could have burrowed down into the floor, never to be seen again, I would have. How dare he - how dare that mean, unfriendly, cheap Ferengi. I waited for Julian to turn and stare accusingly at me; to my amazement, however, he had begun defending me to Quark.

"She was probably starving, Quark - her family had to leave for Deneb IV without her. She's had nothing to eat all day and couldn't very well order some food from you, now could she?" Quark looked unconvinced. "Oh, and that reminds me -" Julian's tone became darker, "she was injured when she wandered into the infirmary - do you know anything about that?"

"Should I?"

"Well, she seems to have been cut by some sort of implement - something thrown at her, perhaps?" Quark looked uncomfortable; I marveled at the doctor's perceptiveness. "Keep in mind that intentionally harming any being on this station is a punishable offense, Quark." He glared at the Ferengi; I tried to match his expression, too, but Quark was no longer paying any attention to me. We swept past the bar and up the stairs to the second level, to another partially-occupied group of tables. At one of them sat a Cardassian. I had seen Cardassians before, of course, many times, but I can't say I had ever actually met one. They were so big and stern, and always seemed intense and intimidating - I wasn't exactly frightened of them but I wasn't comfortable around them either, and the feeling seemed to be mutual. So I wasn't the least bit surprised when this Cardassian stared at me with displeasure on his forbidding gray features.

"Who's this?"

"Jet," Julian answered, smiling. "She's going to be staying here on DS9 for a while - her family has gone to Deneb IV and she can't join them for a month."

"How do you know all this?" The Cardassian - Garak, was it? - was obviously aware that I couldn't speak.

"Major Kira told me. In fact, it was quite a coincidence - just as she was leaving, who should walk into the infirmary but Jet herself!"

"How fortunate," Garak answered drily. Julian glanced at him, annoyed.

"Don't tell me you're going to take that attitude - she's too nice to have to put up with more of that. Quark's already made sure she knows she's not wanted, by the way - I think he's the one who hurt her leg somehow." Garak looked down at my bandage.

"Of course I'm not planning to hurt the poor thing, doctor," he sad. "I just don't understand why you brought her along with you."

"Because she's hungry, that's why! Really, Garak - she may be able to understand you-"

"I highly doubt that." I bristled with indignation.

"We know very little about how her species communicates, when you get right down to it. So I suggest you keep your opinions to yourself - I'm sure she can sense the hostility." He flopped down into his chair disgustedly; I took the seat next to him and glared balefully at the Cardassian who had upset my Julian. While I hadn't really intended to sow discord between the two friends, I couldn't help but feel a little elated at Julian's defense of me. What a brave man he was, standing up to a Cardassian like that. Most people in my limited experience gave in all too easily to Cardassian argumentation, but not Julian; it almost seemed as if he relished the exchange, as if this sort of thing happened all the time. Interesting.

After a moment, Garak spoke again. "I've already ordered for you - you were taking such a long time getting here, I almost thought you had forgotten about me." There was a strange, almost petulant tone in his voice that I couldn't quite interpret. Was he jealous - of me? Was it possible? Was I stealing Julian's attention in some way? I smiled happily, then grew thoughtful. Just how close were these two? I had never heard a Cardassian use that possessive tone toward another man before, much less a human male. Could it possibly be that this Julian and Garak were - no, it was highly unlikely, impossible even. Humans and Cardassians just didn't "mix" in that way, at least not in my experience, and I had observed many, many relationships up close during my travels with my family. I turned my attention back to the conversation.

"Well, you'll just have to call the waiter back and get something for Jet to eat, too," Julian was saying. Garak motioned toward the Ferengi waiter, irritated. I idly wondered what he'd order for me. Since I couldn't communicate my own wishes, I was reluctantly dependent on his - or Julian's - decision. Good, I heard him order fish. I loved fish. It appeared that the two of them did too, as moments later the three of us were contentedly dining on Bajoran fish cakes in cream sauce. Unusual, but I liked it. I also liked the way Julian kept glancing over at me, pleased to see me enjoying my meal. What a kind man he was. No wonder Garak was so possessive toward him - he probably knew a good thing when he found it. Garak kept glancing over at me, too, but more in irritation than anything else. I suddenly became aware, startled, that while he was sitting on the opposite side of the table from Julian, he had stretched his leg out till his calf rested against Julian's leg. Interesting, and a little clingy too, I thought, as I slid a little closer to Julian myself. Garak must have noticed that, because he asked,

"Who is your friend going to be staying with now? Until she leaves to join her family, that is?" I looked toward Julian, my eyes shining. Go on, tell him, I silently urged - I want to see the expression on his mean old Cardassian face when he hears that I'm staying with YOU.

"Ah... my quarters, actually. I've got to tell Captain Sisko." I smirked; Garak's jaw had practically dropped open. "I see no reason why she shouldn't," Julian defended himself. "She doesn't know anyone else here, I've got plenty of room, I can keep an eye on her leg..." Yes, and I can keep an eye on your legs, too, my pretty doctor, I grinned to myself. The meal continued in uncomfortable silence; I saw Garak glance over at me once or twice with an almost hostile expression in his eyes - I was no fool; I knew it was not my nonhumanoid method of dining but the invitation from Julian to share his quarters that was so infuriating the Cardassian. Oh, life was good - it was fun to come between those two even if just a little bit.

The two men at last finished their lunches. I had been finished for some time, as the humanoid-sized portion was too large after all for my appetite. The Cardassian, Garak, seemed to have a very healthy appetite but made no move to accept the portion of my meal that I had tried to push in his direction out of politeness. Oh well, it was his loss, after all. The three of us left the table and descended the stairs. Where to now, I wondered. The meal had left me comfortably drowsy, but I didn't know if Julian and I (how nice that sounded!) were going back to his quarters, or if he had to return to his work. I looked up at him expectantly as we walked out into the corridor.

"Garak - would you let Jet go along with you for the afternoon?" I froze - what was this? Go along with the Cardassian? Why, in heaven's name? "I'd take her back to my quarters now, but I remember I'm having some carpeting replaced this afternoon. And I'm fairly certain she won't want to sit in the infirmary the rest of the day, watching me work." That was not true, and I certainly didn't want to tag along with Garak. Given that choice, I'd rather go for a walk and continue my explorations of the station alone. Garak evidently thought the same.

"I'm sure she doesn't need a babysitter, doctor. I don't see why -"

"I don't want her left alone out here, Garak. I think Nog has been harassing her - I know she was upset when she saw him." How thoughtful, to be protecting me from Nog - while Nog had only been a pest, nothing more, I was still quite touched by the doctor's conscientiousness. Every time I began to forget just how nice he was, he'd remind me all over again. Garak, predictably, had begun to protest.

"But I wasn't going back to the shop - I had some reading I wanted to do at home -"

"Perfect - take her home with you, then. I'll see you later." He squeezed Garak's hand. I watched the gesture, trying desperately to see if there was more to it than simple friendship, but it was difficult to tell. Julian walked away from us, back toward the infirmary, and I was left alone with a Cardassian who plainly did not want to be burdened with my company. At least it would only be for the afternoon. I was tempted to follow Julian anyway, though, but I knew he'd just send me back to Garak.

"All right, you're with me," Garak announced, turning peremptorily on his heel. I followed him, wondering whether he was trying to lose me after all with his rapid stride. My heart pounded. What was Julian thinking, leaving me alone all afternoon with this person, this Cardassian? Sure, they were friends, for what reason I couldn't begin to imagine, but that didn't mean all Julian's friends should instantly become Garak's friends... oh well. At least I had a place to go to nap and to avoid Nog; I was certain that the Ferengi boy was even less a friend of Garak's than I was. I had to admit to myself, also, that I was curious. I knew very little about Cardassians, really, very little at all - I had no idea what their living quarters were like, what type of furniture they preferred, how they dressed when they were alone. Not that Garak would be alone, exactly, with me there, but I was still intrigued enough to follow meekly behind him and struggle to catch up. Darn it, anyway - he was trying to lose me. I was going to have to find some way to tell Julian about this. But within minutes, we were at the door to his quarters and he ushered me inside.

I stared, fascinated, at the stark Cardassian furnishings - everything about the room except the warm temperature and the dim lighting seemed so harsh, so uncomfortable - the chairs, the desk, the bed, which I glimpsed in an alcove off to the side. So... alien. I smiled to myself - to Garak, I must without a doubt have been the most alien-looking thing in the room.

Garak strode over to the desk, sat down, and wordlessly began rummaging through a stack of papers and datapadds. My, you're a friendly one, I thought - no wonder Julian likes you so much. You certainly know how to treat a guest. I walked over to one of the chairs and tried to settle myself comfortably into it, but the stiff cushion made that difficult. So I perched on the edge of the chair and stared at the Cardassian, trying to communicate at least a little of the irritation I was feeling. Garak's eyes were shadowed by the light streaming down from a ceiling panel, making him appear more menacing than he had in the bar, where the light was less focused, more diffuse. Then too, I couldn't help thinking that he also looked more attractive than he had in the bar; those clear blue eyes, shining from the darkened area under the ridges, were really quite striking. Quite striking indeed. I continued to stare, transfixed, as he worked at his desk. After al, I had nothing else to do and was unable to ask for anything from him. Garak finally looked up and noticed me and, as I had expected, did not seem pleased to be the focus of my attention. "What are you staring at?" he asked rudely.

"YOU, you big mean Cardassian," I answered, but of course he couldn't understand me. I pressed my advantage. "Too bad beautiful eyes like that have to be wasted on such a mean creep like you." He watched me, puzzled, then rose to his feet. I gulped, frightened. Oh NO, I trembled - Cardassians CAN understand me. But he walked right past me and to the food replicator in the wall, ordering himself a glass of kanaar, and a glass of milk for me. Milk? What did he think I was, still a child? He placed the offending drink on the table next to me, and I sipped at it, more out of politeness than anything else. He disappeared into the bathroom but shortly emerged, telling me, "I've gotten the toilet ready for you to use. All right? Watch where I'm pointing - the bathroom is right there." He pointed, his gray finger practically in my face; I stared at it, insulted. 'The bathroom is right there,' indeed. What did he think I was going to do, relieve myself on his precious, uncomfortable furniture? Hey Cardassian, the jerk is right there - I lifted my arm in his direction, but he had already returned to his work at the desk. Then he raised his eyes and looked at me, and I thought I imagined a trace of amusement flit across his pale features. "Oh gosh, he CAN understand me," I worried again, but he went back to his boring tasks while I, In turn, settled back into the chair and tried to doze. It was difficult to get comfortable on the hard surface, so after a while I moved over to the couch, where I could at least stretch out. The lights above my head disturbed me, but I knew there was no conceivable method by which I could inform Garak - he'd never lower them for me anyway, so why did I even contemplate such a thing? I tossed and turned on the couch, listening to the faint beeping of the padd as he scrolled through it. The sound soothed me for awhile till it, too, started to get on my nerves. I needed quiet, I needed darkness, I needed - a bed. The Cardassian's bed. No, on second thought... Still, I looked longingly over at it, all neat and inviting and hidden in the shadows - it would be heavenly to sprawl across it and drift off to sleep. But - no, not a Cardassian's bed. Yet it was so tempting...

Within minutes, I had made up my mind and padded softly over to the bed. Garak raised his eyes again but then lowered them once more to his boring collection of datapadds. The bed loomed up in front of me - Jet, you're going to be sleeping where this man, this alien, sleeps, I told myself, you're going to be resting your head on his pillow. No, I wouldn't, I'd face the other direction. I climbed up into the bed, raised a good distance off the floor in the Cardassian style. Then I lay down gingerly on the smooth covering, closed my eyes, and wondered if possibly Cardassians were sensitive to smell. Garak, the obnoxious bully, would probably change all the bedclothes before sleeping tonight. Fine with me. I rolled back and forth on the mattress, trying to permeate it with as much of my scent as I could, and then drifted off to sleep.

I awoke to the sound of voices, two male voices, arguing, Garak and my sweet Julian. I kept my eyes closed, naturally, kept my breathing slow and regular, and listened. This was always a wonderful way to glean information. "You've always been too impulsive, doctor. It's one of your biggest faults."

"Garak, she had no place to go. No one on the station knows her - she seems to trust me, maybe even to like me." 'Maybe?' I thought - there's no maybe about it, my darling.

"Your compassion is truly touching, but as usual, you failed to think this through." Ooh, he's annoying, I fumed - Julian, how can you stand him? "You don't have room for her. Where is she going to sleep, for one thing?" Wouldn't you like to know, you nosy, jealous Cardassian, I smiled.

"I'll put some blankets on the couch for her, of course. Where did you think?" My face fell. Happily for me, though, Garak still sounded unappeased.

"You know almost nothing about this creature." CREATURE? "What she eats, how she behaves, her - hygiene." How dare you, I fumed. So you DID think I was going to soil your ugly Cardassian furniture - I should have, just to spite you. My 'hygiene,' indeed. I could stand it no longer - I resolved to march out to Garak, look him in the eye, and tell him exactly where he could go to discuss my 'hygiene,' and with whom he could discuss it. Creep. I swung one leg over the edge of the bed. "After all, you've never had one like her living with you before." So? What did that matter? "You remember that little incident with the Tellarite ambassador - what if it turns out you're allergic to your friend Jet too?"

"I don't want to keep fighting about this," Julian was saying.

"Neither do I."

"Then why don't we stop?"

I listened for Garak's sarcastic retort, but heard nothing. What were they doing out there? I swung the other leg over the edge and dropped down to the carpeted floor, then peered around the corner. Julian, my precious Julian, was wrapped tightly in the arms of the Cardassian. It was a disturbing sight; I felt a shudder of fear run through me as I watched Garak's strong arms pull Julian even closer against him, his mouth closed over his. So my barely-formed suspicions were true - there was a relationship between these two, the kind of romantic relationship I knew all about but had never experienced, the kind of closeness I had never believed such wildly differing species could share. I couldn't help it, I was transfixed, and stared despite myself at the two men entwined so tightly in each other's embrace. Garak's arms traveled down Julian's back and rested below his waist; Julian, while about the same height as Garak, had wound his arms around Garak's neck and was massaging his fingers gently over the darkening neck ridges. What did that mean, I wondered. Garak's eyes, which had held a faraway look, suddenly focused on me at that moment, before I could spring back into the shadows. Darn. He pulled a little away from Julian and pointed to me. "Look - there she is."

"Jet!" Julian exclaimed heartily, turning toward me. "Did you miss me?" I didn't know quite how to answer him; it was plain that I was not the one he missed. His face was becoming rather flushed, his breathing rapid. Even Garak seemed somewhat breathless as he watched me enter the room. I averted my eyes; it was difficult now to look at these two. "I think I'll take you home now," Julian said, extending his hand to me. I walked toward him but did not, of course, take his hand - our different body structures would make it nearly impossible to walk with linked hands, but that was not the main reason for my reticence. I was hurt. All right, I had known Julian for less than a day. All right, I was happy before I met him, and would be happy again once I left the station and was busy on Deneb IV - I had no right to feel that he owed my anything - I was nothing to him, after all - A tear stung my eyelid and I sneezed it away. Julian never even noticed, as he rushed me back to his room. Don't bother, I wanted to tell him, go back to the Cardassian, I can manage just fine on my own. We reached his quarters and I disconsolately entered, then perched on the edge of a chair as Julian busily moved from the replicator to the bathroom to the couch, spreading a blanket out for me. I knew why he was in such a hurry; I knew why he wore a mysterious little half-smile on his face as he worked, paying almost no attention to me. "Go on," I finally said to him, "go back to your Cardassian - mustn't keep him waiting, after all; I'm sure he's not used to that - start another argument with him, why don't you - he seems to love that."

"I've prepared a bed for you - over there is some food and drink I think you'll like. I nearly forgot you can't operate our replicators!" He smiled, and I was almost won over by him once again. Not for long, though. "Now I really must be going. I'll be back - later, Jet. You'll be fine here - you have everything you need." He brushed his fingers against my cheek, and I closed my eyes. What a sweet man. I hoped the Cardassian would be kind to him. I opened my eyes to find he was already gone.

The evening passed slowly. When I wasn't trying to imagine what Julian and Garak were doing, I was desperately trying not to imagine what they were doing. I stared out the window at the stars, then lay down for a while on Julian's bed, but that did not take away the pain I was feeling - it only made it worse. I headed back out to the couch, settled down on top of the blanket, and began to cry. And cried and cried, till I thought my heart would break. I eventually cried myself to sleep, missing my parents, angry at Julian, and most of all angry at the miserable Cardassian who took such a wonderful gift as Julian for granted.

I awoke the next morning (I assumed it was morning; it was so hard to tell, on this station) to the smell of food and the sound of someone splashing around in the bathroom. "Hello, Jet!" Julian greeted me happily as he emerged, toweling his wet hair and smiling radiantly. "Hello, Julian," I answered, desultorily. He crouched down next to me and looked into my eyes. "Odo heard you crying last night." Odo? Who was Odo? "I'm sorry I left you alone. I won't do it again, I promise." He reached out and, as he had done the night before, brushed his fingers lightly across my cheek. I wanted to die. He had absolutely no comprehension of the kind of agony he was putting me through, and the worst of it was, I would never be able to tell him even if I could speak his language. He would only become angry, or laugh at me, and the Cardassian might even be jealous enough to do me some sort of harm. My feelings at his next words, then, can only be imagined.

"I'm taking you to spend the day with Garak again. I'm sorry you can't stay with me in the infirmary, but I'm afraid my patients might not all like it." I stared at him, horrified. Another day watching Garak watch me, insulting me or even refusing to speak to me... Wonderful. I sighed.

Garak was in his shop when we entered; I looked around at all the beautiful clothing hung on racks throughout the room. Too bad my species wore so little of it - I was intrigued by the fabrics and the different colors I could distinguish, with my slightly limited vision. Garak certainly worked in a pleasant and interesting environment, almost as pleasant as the infirmary. "I'll come back at lunchtime and see how you two are doing," Julian said. "Perhaps we can get a bite to eat in your quarters..."

"No, doctor," Garak answered, "I've had five different orders come in - I doubt if I'll have time for any bites of anything..."

"Well, I'll have to stop by anyway and see what I can do about that," Julian murmured quietly. What were they talking about, I wondered - if Garak didn't have time to go out to lunch, there certainly must be a replicator in this shop somewhere - Julian smiled at Garak from under his long lashes and then departed, leaving us alone together. Garak stared at the door for at least half a minute before I finally grew tired of waiting, and nudged him.

"Oh, Jet," he said, rousing himself, "here, come with me. I have something I think you'll like."

"Really?" I answered. "Is it your ticket off this station?"

"It's Incarian wool," he said happily, showing me a large pile of loosely-folded fabric in a corner of his workroom. "Feel how soft it is - I have all these leftover pieces but they're much too good to waste. I'm going to make you a blanket from some of them." Be still, my heart, I thought; the Cardassian is going to make me a blanket of some old rags he's got lying around on the floor. "If you'd like to take a nap, I'm sure this pile is big enough to make a nice bed for you."

"I'll make a deal with you, Garak. You sleep on the rags on the floor, while I go back to your quarters and stretch out on the bed again." The sound of my words evidently amused him, for he gave me a bright smile before turning to his work. My usually flippant nature was in a turmoil - I was so ready to resent him, even to hate him, and then he had to smile at me that way, the first time he had ever done so... It was like the sun rising. It turned his stern Cardassian face into something radiant, almost beautiful, especially in the contrast between the blue of his eyes and the white of his smile. I began to understand, without even totally admitting it to myself, why Julian would find someone like him attractive. There was something so exotically beautiful about him that even I, accustomed as I was to many different alien faces and appearances, was suddenly and unexpectedly taken aback. Careful, Jet, I told myself, don't go falling for him now - you already know who his favorite is, and it's certainly not you.

Because I couldn't fully deal with this new and unexpected emotion, I remained in the workroom for a little while, gathering my thoughts. I heard several customers enter the shop; it was amazing how Garak's voice and manner seemed to change with each one, as if he knew exactly how to deal with them, what techniques to use to win them over. That must be how he won Julian over, I resentfully decided, changing his personality to exactly match what he thought the young doctor was looking for. Still, could I really blame him? Would I not do the same, if I could? I wandered out into the shop, drawing the attention of the customers gathered there. "That's Jet," Garak told them, and I was pleased to note that his tone wasn't irritated or resigned, but rather friendly. Interesting, complicated man.

It seemed as if no time had passed before Julian returned. I was back in the workroom at that point, lounging after all on the large pile of cloth, and drifting off to sleep despite myself. I heard Julian greet Garak and then, shortly after, Garak evidently addressed a customer still in the shop. "I'm sorry, but I'll be closing for lunch. If I can help you with anything -"

"No, that's all right, Mr. Garak, I'll have to come back." I heard the door open and close. It was impossible, now, for me to sleep; I was too overcome with curiosity about what the two of them were doing. It was absolutely none of my business, of course, which only fed my curiosity all the more. I quietly stood up, among the pile of fabric, and crept to the doorway.

I saw Julian and Garak, as I had expected, in another close embrace - they had moved into the office area, and thus were visible to me from my hiding place in the workroom, but out of view of the doorway and the people walking by on the Promenade. Obviously, then, they wished to keep their relationship secret. Well, if that was their plan, I wished they would work a little harder at keeping it a secret from me. I was about to slink back, disgusted, to my comfortable nest of wool, when I heard my name. Naturally, I had to listen to what was being said about me - who wouldn't be curious, under those circumstances?

"Where's Jet?" Julian had asked.

"Mmmmh," was all the reply he got from Garak, whose face was buried in my dear Julian's neck at that point.

"She's here, isn't she?"

"Yes, yes," impatiently, "she's here. She's sleeping in my workroom."

"She seems to sleep quite a lot, doesn't she?"

"Not much else for her to do here." How true, I thought, how true. Deep Space Nine was turning out to be almost as dull as Deneb IV probably was. I opened my eyes wider; Garak was now beginning to bite Julian's face, his FACE, in a manner that I was sure would swiftly engender a protest or even a cry from the doctor. But no. In fact, I even saw him smile as Garak industriously nibbled a path up his jawline to his ear. That must hurt, I thought; Cardassians were so forceful, so aggressive, not quite like the Klingons but certainly not like the gentler members of my own race, or even my beloved Doctor Julian. But Julian did not behave as if he were injured. He leaned against Garak contentedly, then said something I couldn't quite hear even with my own sharp ears, something like "not even a bite?"

"Well, maybe just one," Garak smiled. Julian smiled, too, and sank slowly to his knees - I had no idea what he was planning but it seemed as if he was preparing to do some kind of examination, right there in the office. Then I decided that, no, the polite and reserved doctor would never decide to do such a thing away from the infirmary, even hidden as he was. Well, I was wrong. I could only see his back, but I had a full view of Garak's face as Julian knelt in front of him and undid the fastening on his trousers. Oh no, I thought, don't even consider it - this looks like far too intimate of an encounter to be described as an exam - in fact, it seems exactly the opposite - it seems as if - oh, now I think I get it. My only question is why Garak is not doing this for you instead. Garak, though, was staring off into space, his eyes half-closed, his expression dreamy. He laced his fingers through Julian's hair and began murmuring something to him, so softly that I was completely unable to hear. Julian's arms were wrapped tightly around Garak's hips, and every once in a while, Garak's eyes would close, then open and stare unseeing at the far wall; at one point, I was almost sure he had noticed me and was scowling at me. I found out immediately, though, the reason for his expression. Julian had pulled away slightly but remained kneeling in front of him.

"I need to get back," I heard him sigh.

"So soon? What kind of a lunch hour is that?" My thoughts exactly. I wanted to chime in, but of course kept silent.

"I never should have left at all today."

"I'm glad you did."

"So am I." Well, I'M not, I felt like whimpering, but what did I matter? The Cardassian's happiness was the only thing that seemed to count around here. As Julian stood up, I swiftly retreated to my makeshift bed and closed my eyes. There was silence again in the other room, but of course I didn't even need to look to know that the two of them were kissing again. Just go, Julian, I thought, just leave and stop torturing us both. I finally heard the door to the shop open and close. The next thing I knew, Garak was entering the workroom - I must confess that my heart sped up then; I was afraid he had seen me spying after all and was now going to reprimand me. Naturally, I kept my eyes tightly closed; I was about to manufacture a snore but decided that would be laying it on a bit too thick. The pile of fabric on which I lay was quite large and, thanks to my restlessness, spread out over an extensive section of the floor. To my absolute amazement, I sensed Garak slowly lowering himself onto the floor; after a moment, I opened one eye into a slit and noticed that he had pillowed his head on some of the fabric and was lying next to me, his eyes closed. He was tired! Julian had tired him out, both last night and then just now! I wanted to laugh. And you were so sorry that he had to go back to work, you silly tailor; you yourself were too tired to go back to work!

I didn't quite know what to do. I was no longer tired, obviously, and was completely disenchanted with the prospect of sharing even a corner of my bed with the Cardassian, particularly because of the reason for his fatigue. So, when I deemed it safe to do so, I opened my eyes. Garak's face was peaceful, and, I hated to admit to myself, quite attractive as he lay quietly next to me. I remembered how blue his eyes were, and wondered what it would be like to gaze into them from this distance - I was literally only a breath away from his face. Well, Julian knew what it was like. Garak turned slightly, onto his side, and would have been looking right at me if his eyes had been open. I couldn't tell if he was asleep yet or only resting, but I no longer wished to stay there in any case. Suddenly, without warning, Garak blinked, extended his hand toward me and, while I stared back at him in shock, gently touched my cheek with his fingers. "You're a sweet girl, Jet," he said. I couldn't move a muscle. Had he known I was awake, the whole time? Wasn't he angry with me? Even more to the point, wasn't this a little forward of him to do, just moments after his beloved Julian had left him? Still... for someone with such rough-looking skin, he certainly did have a gentle touch. He also had, as I could now confirm, absolutely mesmerizing blue eyes, close up. The eye ridges that used to subconsciously frighten me now served instead only to frame the eyes and render his face beguilingly sweet. Sweet. A Cardassian. I was starting to think just like Julian. I climbed to my feet and stalked out of the room, not looking back. Garak could interpret that in any way he chose to. I was not going to take the affection that should by rights at that moment have gone to Julian.

The afternoon seemed to last forever. Garak eventually returned to his tasks, and his customers, while I puttered around the shop and pretended to be interested in the different activities, and the different people who greeted me. My thoughts, of course, were all on Garak and Julian. Every time I began to resent either of them, especially Garak, something would happen to melt my resolve to keep a safe emotional distance between us. Still, these two had a relationship that seemed to have been developing for years, not the two days in which I had known them. How could I justify even fantasizing about becoming closer with either one of them - I'd never be allowed into their lives, and that was that. Still, I watched Garak speaking to one of his visitors, one he called Odo, the one who had somehow heard me crying the night before. Garak's face was so friendly and open as Odo conversed with him in his own harsh and unmusical voice. I even heard them make an appointment for breakfast the next day. Odo, then, had found a way into Garak's life, despite Julian - or, was it simply the case that this Odo wanted to usurp Julian's role, with Garak? Just how strong was the attraction the Cardassian exerted over other species, including my own? It was frustrating, to feel manipulated in this way. I resolved to try my best to tag along to the breakfast and see if Odo, too, ate his meal with Garak's leg resting against his leg. And if that was the case, did Julian know about it? How would I even be able to tell him? I guiltily remembered that there was something else I should really tell Julian, but never would - the little incident with Garak in the workroom. I felt myself grow warm. Was it just from embarrassment, or was there a small measure of happiness mixed in, too? How dare I presume to judge poor Odo? I was no better than he was.

The work day finally drew to a close, and I found myself eagerly looking forward to Julian's appearance, despite the irrational resentment I had also begun harboring toward him. But as Garak locked the door, he turned toward me and asked, "Hungry?" I nodded. He seemed to understand. He also seemed to understand when I asked him, "Where's Julian?" He answered me as if he did, anyway.

"Doctor Bashir won't be joining us - he has surgery this evening. I guess it's just the two of us tonight." Bashir? Who was Doctor Bashir? What had happened to Julian? To Doctor - Julian. I brightened. Julian was Doctor Bashir - of course! Most humanoids had at least two names - even I myself had two, not that I ever used the second one. Julian Bashir. What a wonderful, musical name for such a charming man. I walked next to Garak, smiling and saying the name over and over in my mind. Julian Bashir. Julian Bashir. I kept an image of him in my thoughts as I walked, an image of him working in the infirmary, Garak far, far away on the opposite side of the station. I would, of course, be assisting my Julian - Doctor Bashir - in any way I could, as he performed his medical tasks. I wasn't much good with humanoid children - I was a little afraid of most of them, if the truth were known - but I liked adults, even Klingon adults, a species which usually struck fear into the hearts of most of my kind. I could help Julian - Doctor Bashir - calm the patients who had been brought in with injuries. Most people seemed to find my voice and manner soothing, despite the fact that they couldn't understand a word I said.

Into my thoughts of Julian, however, intruded equally strong thoughts of Garak. I tried to push them away, but they stayed. I found myself wondering what Garak's first name was; I had heard other Cardassians say that first names were only used among intimate friends, so I was surprised that I had never yet heard Garak's name on Julian's lips. If they weren't intimate friends, then who was? I remembered then that I hadn't actually been with them last night, and even today in Garak's shop some of what they said to each other was beyond my ability to hear. I was sure that Garak's first name was mentioned at some point during the contact he and Julian had shared. I began to speculate about what it could be. Cardassian first names were so seldom encountered that I couldn't think of many examples of them. I could imagine, though. Perhaps the Cardassians, as with my own kind, chose names that reflected personal characteristics, like "Beauty" or "Precious." If that were the case, Garak's name was probably "Arrogant" or "Overbearing." I giggled aloud. Garak smiled at me and I giggled even harder; the smile, though, touched my heart in the way it had begun to do more and more often. Don't surrender to him, Jet, I told myself, don't let him win you over. Still, I began to wonder if his name might not instead be the Cardassian equivalent of "Handsome" or "Charming" - oh no, I thought, he's got you.

Dinner was surprisingly pleasant, all alone with Garak in his quarters, and then I sat next to him on the couch and watched some type of sporting event with him - it was a holovid of two Klingons fighting, with all the usual pompous ceremony and loud posturing for which the Klingons were known. I couldn't imagine why Garak was interested in such a thing, but he seemed quite absorbed in the match and this his placing a hand on my shoulders was not, I think, intentional. Neither was the gentle stroking I felt soon after - he was simply tense about the outcome of the "fight" and the feel of my body soothed him. I turned slightly, to expose more of my neck and shoulders to his ministrations, but I don't think he noticed my action. Get a hold of yourself, Jet, I told myself - just what are you trying to do, anyway? Steal him away from Julian - from Doctor Bashir? Isn't it Bashir you want?

If the truth were known, I didn't know what I wanted. Julian was so beautiful, so kind to me, but Garak, in his own self-assured Cardassian way, had managed to intrigue me, and once I started down that path, my thoughts revolved around the object of my interest till I had come to terms with it in one way or another. And my feelings were becoming more and more plain. As Garak's gentle fingers caressed the back of my neck and goose bumps traveled down my spine, I arrived at the realization that I wanted both of these gorgeous creatures. Wanted them, felt drawn to them, felt almost a little obsessed by them, and knew in my heart that I was probably nothing to either one of them. I almost started to cry all over again.

I fell asleep on the couch and didn't even notice that Garak had gone off to bed. I was dimly aware of someone entering the room later, walking past me and going into Garak's bedroom. I didn't even have to open my eyes, of course, to know that it was Julian. So I buried my face in the blanket and tried to shut out all thoughts of the two of them.

The next morning, I was shocked to awaken to the sound of Garak working alone at his desk. I had been so sure that I'd be treated to the sight of Julian and Garak enjoying breakfast together, half-clothed, arms around each other. Instead, it appeared that I had again been left alone with the Cardassian while Julian spent his day at work - this development was really quite unexpected, after all, considering the antipathy Garak had shown toward me at our first meeting. Then I remembered the holovid viewing last night, and felt myself grow warm. Not much antipathy there. Garak noticed I was awake and served me breakfast; he had evidently already eaten. With Odo, I suddenly remembered - he must have gone out and returned all during the time I had been sleeping. My species requires a great deal of sleep, which sometimes, as now, became an inconvenience. How I had hoped to go along and spy on Garak and Odo, and try to report my findings to Julian. Alas, I had missed that little opportunity - perhaps there would be others.

The day passed as the previous two had done; I was bored, but getting more and more used to the routine of Garak's shop, and more and more used to the stream of visitors who came to see me as well. I was, after all, somewhat of a rarity on Deep Space Nine, and it amused me to realize that Bajorans, especially, were very unfamiliar with my species. I dreaded the lunch hour, when I was sure Julian would be back to offer Garak one of those special lunchtime - 'exams' - again, but instead the three of us ate together in the "replimat." I spotted Nog walking past; he made a move as if to come over and speak to me, but the sight of my two companions discouraged him.

I returned with Garak to his quarters, later that day, and again I tried to amuse myself while Garak read his datapadds and both of us waited for Julian. I didn't like the music Garak had instructed the computer to play, so I wandered off into his bedroom and took the liberty of stretching out across his bed. I hadn't had an opportunity for a long nap that day, and thus it was no surprise that I was asleep within minutes. What was a surprise, though, was to awaken later to the sound of deep, regular breathing, and the sensation that someone else was in the bed with me. I opened my eyes, both curiosity and fear warring within me. It was true - Garak himself was lying next to me on the bed. He was under the blankets, while I was still on top of them, but for all intents and purposes we were sharing a bed together, the Cardassian and I. I flinched. What would my parents say about this? For that matter, what would Julian say about this - he was nowhere in sight. Maybe, I reflected, he was out on the couch while I took his place next to Garak... No. Impossible. He probably, for whatever reason, simply couldn't join Garak this evening, and Garak had finally gotten tired and wandered off to bed - with me. I began to tremble. Why had he not decided to sleep on the couch himself, when he saw I was in here? I slowly and quietly began climbing down to the floor, careful not to wake him. Then I walked to the door of his quarters, preparing to let myself out, but the door wouldn't open for me. It was obviously locked. I lay down on the floor, near the door, but couldn't sleep for hours - I was too unsettled. How could I tell Julian about this? Then again, did I want to tell him?

I came to the realization, the next morning, that Julian didn't suspect a thing. It was a non-working day for my two companions, and they had taken me along with them on a little ship they called a "runabout," for what seemed to be a pleasure cruise, nothing more. I sat on a chair in the back of the cabin and tried not to notice how sweet the two of them looked, huddled over the instrument panel of the ship, their heads together, their voices low and affectionate. No, Julian seemed to be blissfully unaware that only hours before, his Garak had been lying by my side. What was more, I had begun to fervently regret my impulsive need to leave that bed, the night before - who knows what might have happened, the next morning, if I had stayed and the Cardassian and I had woken up together. I couldn't even begin to imagine, but that didn't prevent me from lying back in my chair and dreaming. I was treated to the sight of Julian and Garak kissing, as usual, up in the forward part of the cabin, but I had become used to that by now and knew how little it unfortunately meant - if Garak was willing to sleep next to me, last night, then who knows which companion Julian had chosen for HIS bed; perhaps it was that Odo, who was probably enamored of both of those beautiful creatures. Well, whoever it was, I was a little surprised at the two of them, as well as secretly pleased that there was hope for me after all.

Getting used to hope was one thing - getting used to reality was something quite different. Garak not only joined me in his bed that evening, he invited me into it. I was shocked, so shocked I could only gape at him, unable to believe what I was hearing. Julian had been called away to the infirmary, and I heard his voice on a message to Garak later, saying he'd be very late. Garak and I had been watching another holovid, this time some sort of educational program, when he suddenly turned the viewer off, turned toward me, and said, "He won't be back for hours, Jet. Let's go to bed." What?! I faced him, my eyes wide, the blood roaring in my ears. No invitation this blatant had ever been extended to me, ever, not even among beings I had known for weeks or months. And how long had I known Garak - three days? I tried to shake my head "no" but could barely move. Garak stood up, and as if nothing whatever were out of the ordinary, disappeared into the bathroom, and re-emerged a few minutes later. He then walked over to a set of drawers built into the wall, removed a garment from a drawer, and began to remove his CLOTHING in front of me. I was absolutely stunned.

While my species did not share the humanoid predilection for covering themselves in fabric and other materials, I was all too aware that humanoids who chose to temporarily dispense with this custom were either planning to swim, preparing to bathe, or - were preparing themselves for some sort of sexual activity. My heart pounded. I was going to dash into the bathroom myself but found that I was still completely unable to move. I had never seen a Cardassian in anything less than long sleeves, long pants, and sometimes even a high collar; this Cardassian, though, had already removed his shirt, and I gaped at the broad expanse of gray skin across the chest, the powerful muscles, the scales that traveled down the front of his chest and, when he turned, down the arms and the back too. It - he - was incredible. I involuntarily started to imagine licking every one of those scales with my rough tongue, eliciting a series of gasps and cries from him... Jet! I screamed inwardly, you will do no such thing, you'll march right into the bathroom and stay there. This Cardassian is obviously not a very nice person, to treat Doctor Bashir in this way. He had begun to step out of his trousers now, and as I headed slowly into the bathroom, I kept my face turned toward him, amazed at the powerful thighs with the line of scales running down to the knees - Too bad he had left his underwear on so I couldn't get a peek at - Jet! I screamed again. As punishment for those thoughts, I resolved to attempt to escape Garak's quarters at the first opportunity. So what if I ran into Nog? It was better than betraying Julian, who had been so wonderful and kind to me.

I couldn't make my escape as long as I was in the bathroom, though. I waited as long as I dared, till I finally heard Garak calling my name, and then I walked back out into the bedroom, my face down, my eyes averted. Garak had already climbed into the bed. "Come here, Jet," he said, sweetly. I froze. I had no idea what to do next - I knew I should leave, I knew I should scream or run or go to the communicator and desperately start punching buttons in an attempt to reach Julian - I did none of those things. Garak was gazing down at me from his high bed; he was lying partially under the blankets, but I saw that he was now wearing a loose gray shirt that clung softly and enticingly to the muscles on his chest, and I began to tremble, not with fear, but with anticipation. He wanted me - this gorgeous Cardassian male wanted me, Jet, who had never even really had a young male for a friend before, much less a grown man like this. If he had simply seemed intimidating, though, or powerful, or strong, I think I would still have been too frightened to join him. But his blue eyes made him look so sweet, too, so gentle and even vulnerable, that I couldn't help myself, I couldn't resist him. I couldn't even imagine resisting him. "Forgive me, Julian," I said out loud. as I climbed into the bed and settled down next to Garak.

I awoke, still curled up next to Garak, my head nestled against his chest. I had seldom been warmer or more contented - I had never slept so close to any living being except my parents. Garak slept soundly next to me, but I was in a playful mood, so I reached out and touched his face, then leaned in closer and licked the ridged tip of his chin. He smiled, then tried to brush me away as he opened his eyes. "Jet, stop that! That tickles!" I had no intention of stopping - I made the neck ridges my next goal, when suddenly I heard the outer door hiss open and I froze, terrified. Julian! Dear Lord, no! Not now! I jumped out of bed; Garak remained where he was, which after all was the wisest course of action, but how could I now pretend I had been sleeping on the couch all night? I ran into the bathroom, listening to Julian enter the bedroom and greet Garak.

"Sleep well?"

"Not as well as I could have." Oh, good, I thought - good thinking. He'll never suspect. Julian must have been sitting down on the mattress, because I next heard him say,

"This spot feels nice and warm." My body temperature was warmer than that of humans, and certainly of Cardassians; Garak had seemed pleased about that during the night, I remembered. But - how was he going to explain that extra warmth in the bed to Julian? What was he going to say? I listened, every muscle in my body tense with anticipation, then nearly jumped out of my skin as I heard Julian add, "Jet wasn't in here with you, was she?"

"Of course not, doctor - what makes you even think such a thing?" I finally allowed myself to breathe. I should have trusted Garak, the devious and sly Cardassian. Julian, though, did not seem inclined to let the matter rest.

"Where is she, then?"

"In the bathroom, I think." Oh no, I had now better make an appearance quite soon or things would begin to look suspicious. I was about to re-enter the bedroom when I froze, horrified, at Julian's next question.

"So where DID she sleep last night?" Can't you just let this drop, I pleaded - my guilt was becoming intolerable. What a miserable morning this was turning out to be, after such an unexpectedly pleasant night. "I'll tell you what I think - I think she was right here with you."

"That's ridiculous," Garak answered, but his tone was more amused than angry. Good - he knew better than to become defensive. That would certainly have given us away. I decided that I, too, had better come out of hiding or the innocuous story Garak had concocted would look like the fiction it truly was. Julian greeted me in his usual hearty manner.

"Good morning, little Jet!"

"Good morning, tall Julian," I answered, sauntering casually past him, my heart pounding. He was lying next to Garak on the bed, in the spot I had so recently vacated, but was on top of the covers. I had barely reached the living area before I heard him slide underneath the covers and begin to kiss Garak - his Garak but also my Garak. I ran for the couch and dove under the blanket that had been spread out across it. Would these two never stop torturing me? Was that to be my fate, for almost four weeks?

A while later, Julian and Garak and I sat at the table in Garak's quarters, eating breakfast together. "My, the two of you certainly seem pleased with yourselves," I snarled sarcastically. They looked at each other and smiled, and I had the by-now familiar fear that my words could be understood after all, till Julian leaned toward me, tickled me under the chin, and said, "You make such cute sounds, Jet." I exhaled, relieved. Then my gaze drifted over to Garak, who was enthusiastically polishing off a large bowl of some type of breakfast cereal. "Worked up quite an appetite, didn't you?" I snarled again at him, He only smiled. Well, after all, who was I to criticize him? It's not as if he had forced me into his bed - I had climbed in of my own free will, and fallen asleep to the heavenly feel of his caresses all over my body. I closed my eyes and grinned at the memory. No wonder Julian wanted him - he was wonderful. When I opened my eyes, I saw Garak feeding Julian a spoonful of cereal from his bowl, and my good humor vanished. Disgusting, I thought, two grown men acting that way toward each other, as I hopped down angrily to the floor and stalked away. The two of them never even noticed.

The day was an unusual mixture, for me, of boredom, resentment toward my two new friends, and an unaccustomed shyness with Garak - I was, as usual, in his shop with him, but spent most of my time watching the people on the Promenade through the windows in the door. I saw Nog walk past me once or twice; he even turned his head once in my direction, but I had been sitting on the floor and was thus below his range of vision. Toward evening, as Garak and I were making the familiar trek home to his quarters, Julian caught up to us.

"There you both are! I stopped at your shop but you had already left." We were alone in the corridor, and he leaned close to Garak and kissed him on the cheek and then, to my intense delight, kissed me too, on top of my head. It was, of course, only in friendship, but I beamed at him. Would this man never cease surprising me?

Evidently not. "Garak, you've had Jet with you for a while now - I think it's my turn to have her back tonight." My heart pounded. Had he really just said what I think he said? He wanted to have me back? Tonight? I glanced up at Garak in trepidation. Garak was staring at the ground, a displeased and almost angry look on his face. I swallowed hard. Oh no, more conflict between these two, and all because of me. Boys, boys, I wanted to say, I like you both - I want to stay with you both. Please don't fight over me! You hardly know me - please don't let me be the one to break up this great friendship you share - I'll be gone in less than a month and you'll forget all about me... That thought, of course, left me gloomy and sad.

"Doctor, I don't think you're being fair about this," Garak began. Julian watched him expectantly. "She's obviously become very attached to me; I think she's starting to prefer my company." What about you, you hypocrite, I wanted to interrupt; aren't you the one who lured me into your bed, flashing those gorgeous big muscles at me? Whose company is being preferred by whom here?

"I don't want to argue about this, Garak." Julian was becoming exasperated. "She came to me first, she seems to want to communicate with me, she trusts me -"

"Trusts you to leave her all alone, her very first night without her family."

"And whose fault was that?" Julian almost shouted. "You were practically begging me to get rid of her and hurry back to you."

"I do not beg for anything, doctor." Oh-oh, watch it, Julian, I thought - you hurt a Cardassian's mighty pride and you won't get the chance to hurt it again - you'll be alone for the next month. Then again, I'll be with you to keep you company...

"All right, all right." Ah - he knew he had been treading on dangerous ground. Smart man. "It's just that you didn't seem too thrilled to have her around, that day, and now you're telling me I can't have her back."

"On the contrary, I simply think she's happier now with me. You can of course continue to visit her whenever you wish."

"I'll tell you what I wish - I wish we could ask her. I wish we knew the one she prefers to be with." So do I, Julian, I thought, so do I. On the one hand, I've got a handsome, kind, gentle human doctor who was my first real friend on this station. On the other hand, there's an imposing, forbidding, frightening Cardassian who's just about the sexiest thing I've ever seen - "Please, boys, don't make me choose!" I wailed. They both turned to look at me.

"Now see what you've done - you've upset her," Garak admonished Julian. He dropped down next to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. "It's all right, Jet. Don't be frightened. We're almost home."

"No, we're not," Julian insisted. "I'm taking her back with me. If you don't like it, fine." I felt myself being lifted up into his arms. I weigh very little relative to a human, but still, I was absolutely shocked at being carried by him down the corridor and away from Garak, who stood glaring at us until we disappeared from his view. "Sorry about that," Julian murmured to me, as he lowered me to the floor again. "I didn't mean to startle you -I'm sure you don't like to be carried. It's just that I've found it's best to take Garak by surprise when he starts to get into one of his 'unreasonable' moods." I was too stunned to answer. I was also convinced, despite the present evidence to the contrary, that those two wouldn't be apart for long - I'd probably wake up the next morning to the sight of them feeding each other their breakfasts again. Disgusting.

It felt strange, to be preparing for bed in Julian's quarters, with him actually present this time. The rooms were identical to Garak's in floor plan, but different in many other respects; the furnishings were softer and more plush, the bed was lower, and there were possessions scattered about the area haphazardly - Garak was much neater than that. I settled down onto the couch finally; Julian was reading in bed, and every once in a while I would hear the faint beep of a datapadd. I began to wonder what it would be like to have him read to me, in his soft voice and (to me, anyway) slightly unfamiliar accent. I started drifting off to sleep, imagining it, then was startled awake by the sound of his voice calling me. "Jet! Jet!"

"What is it?" I asked, confused.

"Jet! Come here!" I obediently padded into the bedroom - what was all this about, I wondered. "Want to join me?" Oh NO, I thought - oh NO. Garak had been telling him about me - who knows what the two of them thought of me! What had I inadvertently done, surrendering so quickly to the Cardassian? That was the most dishonorable thing I had ever heard of, him tarnishing my innocent reputation in that way. What a cad. I almost seethed with indignation. Then again... Without his intervention, I would never have been allowed to witness the delectable sight of my dear, sweet Julian sitting up in bed, his hair tousled, his eyes soft and brown, his lips deliciously waiting for someone to nibble them - someone like me... NO! I wouldn't do it, I would not climb into that bed. If he wanted me there, he'd have to pick me up and put me into it. "Jet," he said, glancing down at my leg, "let me take a look at that cut again." I naturally pretended not to understand him; my ploy didn't work, however, as he had indeed instantly lifted me onto the bed, gently prying the bandage away from my skin with his skillful fingers. "This looks much better. I think we can leave this off from now on." He continued to stroke my leg near the area of the scar. All right, doctor, I thought, you've finished examining me, so please let me go back to my couch now. "Come on, Jet - come to bed!" he said brightly then, hopping back under the blanket and patting - yes, patting - the spot next to him. Unbelievable, I marveled to myself - it can't get any more blatant than that, now can it?

Well, you win, doctor. If that's what you want, then that's what you shall have. I was too weak to resist him any more, too worn down by his constant pleas for affection and his obvious need to forget about his current troubles with the Cardassian.

"Julian," I whispered, as I settled down next to him, "please don't tell Garak about this..." His hands reached out to caress me, just as Garak's had done the night before, and I closed my eyes contentedly, lost in the blissful sensation.

I awoke to a sound that nearly made my heart stop - "Well, this is interesting!" Garak was in the room, standing next to the bed, looking down at Julian and at me as we lay side by side, blinking sleep out of our eyes. I stayed completely motionless, frozen with fear; Julian slowly began to sit up.

"What are you talking about?"

"I must admit that I'm very surprised to see you like this, doctor. I was so sure you slept alone when I wasn't with you." His tone was harsh, but when I calmed myself enough to examine his eyes more closely, I saw no anger in them, only amusement. He thought the situation was funny? Was that it? Why was he treating me as if I were only a silly object of laughter? I was an adult female with wishes and feelings of my own. Had he been laughing at me all last night, too, as he stroked me and called me his precious darling, his precious little Jet? I felt almost angry enough to spit at him. Julian, at least, was not laughing - he looked positively irritated.

"Was it really necessary to come barging in here and scare me half to death, Garak?" He pulled the blanket up around his chin and flopped back onto the mattress. "You've scared Jet too - just look at her." My eyes were as wide as saucers, I knew, but at least my fear was subsiding. "Now run along and let us get back to sleep. You've had your fun for tonight." Oh no he hasn't, I suddenly realized - Julian, don't you see, that's why he came here, for his "fun," so to speak. He couldn't stand having you angry with him. I sighed resignedly and slowly climbed to my feet, preparing to go back out to my lonely couch. Garak sat down on the edge of the bed, blocking my exit.

"Oh, by all means, go back to sleep. Don't pay any attention to me. I'll just sit here, watching you, imagining how much fun I could be having..." Oh please, I thought, spare me your ridiculous prattle - if you'd just move out of the way, you big annoying Cardassian, I'd leave you and your darling Julian completely alone for the rest of the night - Garak slid under the covers and I finally did move to the foot of the bed, but his words stopped me. "Where are you going, Jet?" Where was I going? What in heaven's name did these two have in mind? "You don't have to leave. Don't you like me any more?" If you only knew, I breathed, if you only knew. But I will not remain here and watch you and Julian do - whatever it is you do. I've done enough watching, when the two of you are together. I'm leaving... now. As soon as you stop cooing to me in that affectionate tone of voice. As soon as you stop pulling me back onto your strong Cardassian chest and saying my name so sweetly. As soon as you and Julian stop looking at me with those love-filled eyes - "I'm sorry, mother and father," I wailed - "I couldn't help myself!"

What's the human expression, "all good things must come to an end"? Well, I never believed that our end would ever come. Garak, Julian and I settled into a wonderful, loving routine soon after our first evening together. We'd rise and eat our breakfasts together, we'd watch holovids together, we'd walk home from work together, and, yes, we'd even sleep in the same bed together, with me sometimes nestled between them, sometimes happily resting on top of one or the other of them. I never would have believed that I'd be living this kind of a life, but there I was, with a human and a Cardassian. I noticed the other people even began to speak of us as a unit. Jadzia Dax saw me with Garak one day, in the shop, and immediately asked him how the three of us were getting along. "We're getting along great!" I enthused, but she only smiled at my answer. Nog had accepted the fact that I was the guest of Garak and Doctor Bashir, and never harassed me again. Even Quark allowed me in his bar without so much as a word of protest. I felt loved and accepted among these people, and, while I missed my family, my days were too full to pine over them in sadness. I knew I'd be reunited with them eventually, as soon as the month was up and I was placed on the transport to Deneb IV. What a lonely trip that was going to be. If only there were some way I could persuade my beloved friends to relocate to the mines and accompany me... Ah, but then I'd never want to live with my parents again. Still, I had nearly a month in which to enjoy their company and pretend that we'd never be separated.

In reality, I had less than two weeks. A man named "Chief O'Brien" signaled Julian's quarters one evening, while Garak, Julian and I were snuggled together on the couch, watching a particularly bad Klingon opera. "I don't quite know how to tell you this, " he began, sounding very uncomfortable, "but... Jet's got to be leaving tomorrow."

Tomorrow?! I shrieked aloud and huddled tightly against Garak, my eyes wide with horror. Tomorrow? But I had distinctly and repeatedly heard that the transport wouldn't arrive for two more weeks! What was going on? Please, someone, tell me! I began to tremble with fear. Both Garak and Julian had instinctively reached for me and now held me in their arms, Julian's hand on my shoulder, Garak's on my back.

"You can't be serious, Chief! She's not supposed to leave for weeks yet!" Julian was, I noticed, a little bright-eyed and almost in tears. The sight made tears well up in my own eyes too.

"I know - I'm sorry. Her family misses her - they found a ship that'll rendezvous with another one headed to Deneb IV, and they want her on it." NO, I screamed. I don't want to go! Please don't make me go! I was consumed by guilt that I should be so reluctant to join my family, but really, it wasn't as if I was never going to see them again - I had been promised two more weeks with my new loves, and I wanted those weeks. Deneb IV would surely be there two weeks from now, just the same.

"Maybe if we contact her family and explain -" Garak began, but O'Brien was already speaking.

"No, they've made their decision and gone to a lot of trouble to arrange this. You two must surely realize how much they miss her - I hear you've become quite attached to her yourselves." You don't know the half of it, I thought; if this "Chief O'Brien" could only see us now, our limbs all entwined together -

"But, Chief," Julian stammered, "if I could just be allowed to talk to them -"

"I'm afraid it's all settled, Julian," O'Brien answered decisively and a little embarrassed. How I began to hate that man. "Bring her to docking bay six at 0900 tomorrow. I'm sorry about this, I really am. But you knew you couldn't keep her here forever, didn't you?"

"Yes, I suppose so," Julian replied, then quickly ended the communication. He sat for a while in silence, staring at me and rubbing his fingers against my neck, and then on an impulse sank back against Garak's shoulder and sounded almost like he was crying. "I know I'm being kind of dramatic," I heard him say, his voice a little muffled, "but I'm really going to miss her."

"So am I, love," Garak said so tenderly to him; I never would have imagined he could sound like that. This is awful, I thought, this is the saddest, most awful evening I've ever spent in my life. I'll never forgive my family for tearing me away so suddenly like this, never. Never!

But, with the resiliency of the young, I was shocked to find that a very small part of me was eager to begin my new adventure, as I waited at the docking bay the next morning with Garak, Julian and O'Brien. Breakfast had been unbearably sweet - both men had taken turns feeding me from their own plates. I loved it. I would gladly have eaten every meal like that, if only I had been allowed to. But now those breakfasts were over, at least until the day, perhaps months or years away, when I could return to Deep Space Nine and renew my friendships. I hoped they would try to contact me at the mining colony - I could at least watch their transmissions and listen to their voices. "Good-bye, my dear sweet Julian," I said, nuzzling my face against his. "Good-bye, my darling Garak." I had grown to love that man, and by extension to feel comfortable at last with other Cardassians - they really weren't so bad after all! "Please don't forget me - please try to contact me when you can."

Julian lifted me up higher and held me against him, kissing my face thoroughly and almost making me sneeze. Garak joined us then and the three of us stood together, our faces pressed together, my head and ears being kissed by both men simultaneously. Even Chief O'Brien, whom I had never personally met before, looked sheepish and uncomfortable - I was afraid he was going to try to kiss me too. The doors of the docking bay opened and I saw a long corridor leading down to a ramp. A woman came forward and reached her hands out toward me.

"Come, Jet. I'll take you to the ship."

"No!" Garak said. Julian and I turned to look at him. "She's staying here. I can't let her go. I'm sorry."

"Elim," (Elim!) Julian reached out and placed a hand on his arm, "I know this is difficult for us both, but -"

"Garak, come on, you know you have to let her go," O'Brien remonstrated, moving over to him. "Her family has sent for her - they're waiting for her." He tried to take me from Garak's arms, but Garak pulled me back.

"I said no. What's she going to do anyway, on a mining colony? Tell me - WHAT? No, you tell them she ran away again or something - tell them we couldn't find her."

"Garak -" O'Brien had backed us up against the wall, Julian hovering behind him, "this is ridiculous. You have to give her back to them - she belongs to them, not to you! Maybe, uh, I don't know, maybe I can find you another one somewhere."

"Another one?" Garak sniffed, incredulous. "I don't want another one, I want THIS one - I want Jet."

"But you can't HAVE her," O'Brien again insisted. "I mean, think of it - how would you like it if someone found YOUR cat and refused to give her back?" Garak finally relented, and with shaking hands placed me in O'Brien's arms, who then carried me over to the woman waiting for me. Garak and Julian gathered around us and again stroked my fur and spoke to me, but I started to wail and barely listened to what they were saying. I think my cries must have carried halfway across the station, I was so heartbroken.

"We won't forget you, Jet," Garak said, kissing me again and wrapping me in the wool blanket he had made for me. "Never."

"Never," Julian agreed. "You've been the most wonderful cat I've ever known." He then kissed me too and stroked my whiskers before I was carried away onto the ship.

"Good-bye!" I called out. "Good-bye! I love you!" Then the door closed, the preparations for our journey were completed, and I was alone once more, headed out to Deneb IV. I wanted to yowl and cry again, but couldn't - the pain was a little too fresh. Oh, what fun it would be to return someday, though - what fun THAT reunion would be! What a threesome we made! Elim, Julian - and Jet. I curled up, purring happily, inside my blanket, and watched the stars streak past the window.