Comments, complaints and just plain talk to sheryl_martin@tvo.org
Summary: Scully tries to figure out what exactly keeps Mulder so strong in his faith.
Going Onby Sheryl Martin
Dana Scully stopped tapping on the keyboard and looked out the window to her right. The slightest bit of snow had begun to fall, making her wish that she hadn't put off this report until the last minute; because a long walk would be just the thing to dump this oncoming depression she knew was coming.
The case had ended again in a dead end; serving to only infuriate her and to somehow encourage Mulder to keep on going. How he managed to keep such an outlook on life eluded her constantly; along with where he got those dammed ties.
But he still managed to go into every new case; every new situation with that constant hope of finding the truth. His faith was almost... religious.
Pushing her chair away from the desk, the redhead walked into her bedroom and opened a bottom drawer; pushing aside old high-school shirts and way-too-small sweaters from her past.
At the very bottom of the pine drawer sat her old Bible; placed carefully there from when she had moved into this apartment - not long after taking her first assignment with the FBI. She knelt back on her heels; putting the worn leather book on her knees and stared at it.
Faith. The faith of a child.
Mulder had it. He didn't want anyone to know, but she could see it. The eagerness in his eyes in the face of all they had seen and fought; that faith that Samantha was still alive and would come back to him.
The same faith that had brought her back to him, a small voice reminded Dana. The words that he had spoken at her bedside when she had made the fateful decision to come back and finish what they had started.
Melissa had had faith. But she was dead.
Her mother had plenty of faith - whenever her father would go away on some mission that he couldn't tell them about, she'd sit for hours on the front porch, clutching her rosary and praying for his safe return. And he always came back.
So why didn't she have this? If her mother and her sister had been so strong in their beliefs, why didn't she have the same thing? Why did Mulder seem to have more than she did; on his worst days?
Flipping open the Bible at random, her eyes came to sit on a small passage, one she remembered easily from her Sunday School classes. Licking her lips, she began to read softly aloud.
"Love is patent, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered., it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
"Love never fails."
Closing the thick book, she smiled. Figure that into your scientific world, Dana Katherine Scully. After all that, Mulder does know something you don't.
And the funny part is, he probably doesn't even know it himself.
Getting to her feet, she carefully placed the Bible on the top of the dresser and walked out into the living room. Reaching for the phone, she hit the first speed dial button.
"Mulder..."
"It's Scully." She paused. "I'm having a hard time finishing this report and wondered if I could pick your brains for a few hours."
"Any time, Scully. What's the deal?"
"I'll pay for dinner for some of your... interesting insights."
"Bargained well and done - I'll be over in an hour." She could imagine his smile. "Can I bring the movie?"
"As long as it's one I can watch."
"Why, Scully... you can watch any of my movies."
"In public? I don't think so..."
"Right. I'll stop by the video store. Be by in a bit." The line went silent.
Putting the phone back down, she sighed. That man...
Yes. That man.
With a soft smile she began to search through the kitchen drawer for the Chinese food menu.
****************"The priest, he said my sole salvationwas in the battles of the angelsand underneath the waves of passionI keep the faith in my own fashion..."Sting -- "When We Dance"