Evening shadows brought a pleasant chill to the farmhouse. Cicadas and birds began to thrum in the trees. Laughter trilled from the stable as Armin and Sasha lead out a saddled and bridled mare. Both their faces bore sweat and grime from a hard day's work. A flare of sunlight struck the boy's blue eyes and they squinted with a tired smile. Sasha wiped drool from her yawning mouth and waved eagerly at two other figures rounding the house.
Mikasa came in sight, wearing riding pants. Behind her, Jean carried a large, wooden tub of washed potatoes that needed skinning. He carefully lowered it to the ground where Mikasa pointed, then stood straight and clapped dirt off his palms.
"Phew!" He smiled impressively, putting a hand to his heart. "Glad I could help, milady..."
"Don't call me that."
"Right." Jean coughed, rubbing the back of his neck. He threw Mikasa an annoyed glance that she didn't catch. "Hey, don't tell me you're going to peel these all by yourself?"
"You're peeling them all." The gloom-eyed girl headed for the pasture, where Armin and Sasha waited with her horse.
"What!" Jean gaped. The front door banged as Eren came out, stretching. Jean shot him an ugly look before calling after Mikasa. "Hey, come on Mikasa! I said I'd help you, emphasis on help. Wh-! I don't-! Who said I had to do this?"
"It's your turn," she called over her shoulder.
Jean rolled his head up to the sky, muttering. He grabbed a foot stool from the side of the house, slammed it down next to the tub and sat. "I'm only doing this for you! Heart-breaker!"
He heard a snort and bore his sullen glare on Eren. "Hey!" he growled. "Aren't you supposed to be cleaning the loft?"
Eren jeered. "You're such a wuss, Horseface." He leaned back on the front door and nonchalantly crossed his arms behind his head. Unlike the others, he wasn't tired at all. His evergreen eyes looked refreshed and wide awake from a long nap.
"You are so dead when I tell him." Jean scraped the skin off his first potato.
"Tell who what?"
"I'll tell Captain Levi you're sleeping your lazy ass off instead of cleaning."
Eren flipped him off without so much as a glance. On a day like this, he couldn't muster the spite to play a game of bicker-and-bitch with his least liked squad mate. When was the last time the wind felt this good? - just cool enough to taste like winter on the way. The breeze tickled him like his mother did, to make him stop pouting.
Eren sighed and smiled, just a little. That's for you, Mom.
"Whooo! Go Mikasa!" Sasha's brazen voice jolted Eren out of his reverie. He watched Mikasa cantering around the pasture. Firmly she gripped the reins and her focused eyes drank in the turf like a deep, dark well. Grass ripped up under the horse's feet as she was steered into a graceful, one-hundred-eighty degree turn. Mikasa bumped up and jerked down in the saddle with soft, determined grunts. Her lithe knees clenched her mount's stomach. Harder and harder she rode, gathering speed.
Eren's gaze lingered. Amazing. I don't usually see her like this...enjoying herself...
Mikasa squeezed the horse's sides and they both panted in sync. Hooves pounded the earth as they sped into the curve, missing the fence line by mere inches. Mikasa's face glowed pink and Eren's heart skipped a beat. The scene crystallized before him - the wide-eyed horse rearing in the sun, with Mikasa holding on and her scarf flapping in a strong gust. Her chest bent back and she faced the heavens, daring them to smite her...
The horse came down on all fours, swerving far off track; Mikasa saw the burrow a second too late, the ground rushed up! THUD! Blackness and a several-hundred pound weight crushed her ribs.
The mare rolled back up to her feet, whinnying in panic. She galloped away, leaving a crumpled body behind in the grass.
"Mikasa!" Eren bolted for the pasture. Jean was on his heels, then racing him neck to neck. Mikasa's name burst again and again from their throats as fast as they could breathe. Eren vaulted over the fence. Jean attempted, but his longer legs weighed him down, clipping the post and making him fall.
Armin knelt at Mikasa's motionless side, holding her wrist. Sasha ran around them in circles. "Is she okay! Mikasa! Are you okay! Are you OKAY!?"
"Sasha! Please go and get the horse under control!" Armin yelled.
"OKAY!"
Eren skidded to a halt next to his best friend. "Armin! Is she all right?"
"The fall was hard on her injuries. I don't think she can stand."
Mikasa stirred, sucking in a shallow breath. "I'm...fine..."
Jean nearly ran into Eren. "Mikasa! Are you-?"
"I said I'm fine."
Eren pushed Jean back with one hand before kneeling by his sister. "Don't talk," he told her.
"Hey!" Jean shot him a look.
Eren ignored him. "Here, put your arm around my neck." He wrapped Mikasa's shivering arm over his shoulder and stood straight, cradling her close. "Good! Let's get you inside."
Mikasa rested her head on his chest.
Jean's fingers slowly balled into fists.
Eren made for the house. "Armin, get the medical kit and bring it to Squad Leader Hanji's room!"
"Right!"
"Jean!" Eren snapped, finally looking at him. "Don't just stand there. Help Sasha with the horse before she hurts herself."
He jogged to the door fast as he could without jostling Mikasa too much. Jean watched him go, his mouth a cold line. He shook his head in disbelief.
After dark, Squad Levi dined in the long room downstairs. Two seats at the table were conspicuously empty. Everyone could see through the open door of Hanji's bedroom. Mikasa sat comfortably propped up in the bed, eating from a tray. By her side, waiting to get her anything else, Eren sat in a chair with his plate on his lap. Save for the sound of chewing and flatware clinking, stiff silence blanketed the house.
Chairs scooted loudly as everyone rose to do dishes. When Eren carried out the tray and plates, Jean turned and dumped a stack of dishes on him.
The boy staggered to a halt and stared. "What!"
Coolly, Jean yanked a towel off his shoulder and wiped his hands, "Your turn. Besides, the rest of us were working while you were playing nurse." He tossed the towel on Eren's face and stomped up the loft steps.
Shaking the towel off, Eren shot him a glare. "What's your problem!"
Jean's feet vanished off the top step. "Get off my back!"
Eren glowered at the tray of dishes, then suddenly at the others. They stopped staring and awkwardly dispersed. With a groan, Eren slammed the tray on the table, retrieved the soap and got to work.
A moon beam pried through the crack in Eren's window shutter. Wide awake, he stared fixedly at Mikasa's empty bed before rolling on his back with a sigh. His hot, itchy blankets clung to him, and his skin shivered if he threw the covers off. He tossed, turned, and twisted the sheets around his fists. Why can't I sleep? He jerked up, fumbling on the shelf above his bed for a candle and matches. Fire sparked in the moon's white light.
Holding the candle high, Eren tip-toed across the room. The bubble of candlelight flowed over Jean's snoring form and shrunk into a glimmer as it descended the steps. Slowly, Eren approached Hanji's door. He held his breath as he shed his light on the knob. He reached out, squeezed, twisted...
The hinges creaked as the door opened a crack. "Mikasa?"
Sheets rustled. "What is it?"
He hid behind the door. "Uh..." What am I doing?
"Did you have a nightmare?"
"No!" He swung open the door wider so she could see his indignant face. "I just wanted to check on you." This is a dumb idea.
She moved over to make room on the bed. "You can come in."
Hesitating, he stepped in and closed the door behind him. He stuck the candle in a brass holder on the nightstand, and sat on the edge of the bed. No sooner did his weight crease the mattress than Mikasa scooted closer to him. His eyes flicked over her, noting she wore only a cotton nightgown. It hung loose and low at the neckline so that he could see the finely honed muscles in her shoulders and the curves of her breasts.
Seriously, what am I doing? Blushing, Eren averted his look. "So, you're feeling better?"
Mikasa nodded and leaned her dark head on his shoulder. A rush of hotness prickled Eren's skin and he stiffened. His cheek nestled in the crown of her head and he smelled her silken hair; the scent of sweet oats, hay and pine resin wafted over him. She smells so good...
"I wanted to ask you earlier," she murmured. "Is Marimo all right?"
"Huh?" He absently rubbed his nose in her hair.
"My horse."
He blinked. "Oh, uh, she's fine I think. I don't know. Why did you ride her, anyway?"
"Something to do. It's boring here."
"So you act dumb and get yourself hurt?" He folded a gentle arm around her back. I like being this close. She wants me to be this close.
"I wanted to show off for Jean."
Jean! He broke away and the mattress squeaked. "What!"
She looked at him, tone dryer than a cicada skin. "That was a joke."
"That was a dumb joke."
Mikasa pulled him close, touching her cool forehead to his hot brow. Her whisper was pillow-soft. "You're dumb."
Her breath flowed onto him like warm, delicious rain. He dared to stroke her face, fingers tingling.
"Mikasa..." Eren shut his eyes, sinking into her. With a deep sigh, he dipped and took her lips into a kiss. His head spun. The taste of her wet mouth sent an electric shock up his spine. She's not pulling away! I need air! He dizzily let go. Her fingers yanked at his mussed hair, pulling his chin into the curve of her neck. They embraced for a long moment, hearts beating together.
"I thought it'd be weird," he finally said. "Kissing you, I mean. I thought you wouldn't like it."
"Why?" she whispered, hands sliding up his shoulders.
"We've never done it before."
"Because it's dumb and useless."
With a frown he pulled back, staring at her. She returned a cool-glass look.
"There's no time for love," she said. "All day, every day, we clean and we train and we fight for our lives. We have no right to privacy. And anyway, what does one kiss count when you could be dead the next day? It's a cruel world and we can never let our guard down." She turned away, shadow shielding her face. "Relationships are just distractions."
She thinks I'm a distraction. Eren looked down in disappointment. "So you didn't like it."
"I didn't say I didn't like it." The bed creaked as she leaned into him again. "I just said it's dumb."
Inhaling deeply, Eren took her arms and pushed her down on her back. "You like a lot of dumb things."
Fiercely they kissed, the weight of his legs straddling her hips. His chest pressed to hers, hands slipping under her gown. He touched her ribs. Her lips twinged, hissing out a pained breath. With a gasp, Eren quickly lifted off.
"Mikasa!"
"I'm...fine..."
"You're not." Eren frowned. His skin burned too hot and he cringed on the inside. What was I thinking. I don't even know what I'm doing. He looked around the dark room, conscious that it wasn't his, or Mikasa's. They were trespassing. We have to get up at dawn. The captain and Connie and everyone else will be back soon...
Eren stood up. "You're right, this is dumb. I should get back to bed."
"No." Mikasa grabbed his hand. She had her head bowed but he knew her face was as red as his. "Stay. I'm cold."
He didn't move for a second. Then he blew the candle out. Quietly he lifted the blankets and slid in with her. She curled up back to his chest and as he embraced her body, he mumbled in her ear.
"Are you warmer now?"
Mikasa's voice sounded small and quiet as mice feet. "Yes. Thank you."
The next morning, Jean and Armin made their beds while a couple of birds tweeted a ruckus outside the window. Dust swirled in the air and the smell of potato stew drifted up from downstairs.
"Hey," Armin said. "Did you see Eren leave? He didn't make his bed."
Jean tossed his pillow in place and turned for the stairway. "Tch! I'm not making it for him."
He took the steps two at a time. Down at the bottom he saw Sasha and Historia fussing over the stew pot.
"Sasha, that's too much!"
"I do not think so!"
The rising sun poured through the room's windows and slipped under the crack of Hanji's closed door. Jean stared at it, narrowing his eyes.
"Where's Eren?"
The girls looked at him, surprised. "He hasn't come down," Historia said.
Jean sucked in his breath, stamped over to Hanji's door and flung it open. One look inside and his sandy brown eyes bulged.
"You perverted bastard!"
Mikasa and Eren jolted awake and pulled back in sleepy confusion. Jean rushed up. Eren stood-! SMACK! He reeled from a punch to the face.
"You little shit!"
He was seized by the shoulders and swung bam against the wall. "Jean!" He saw the window sill and next second it smashed his nose. "STOP!" Hands choked his throat. Desperately he caught hold of Jean's hair, clouted the taller boy's jaw and kneed him in the stomach. "STOP! Stupid HORSEFACE!"
"FUCK YOU!" Jean's heel kicked Eren's shin. They struggled for leverage, feet scuffing the slick floor. Eren managed to wrangle out of a headlock and shove his assailant into the window. Glass cracked. Rage-eyed, Jean launched back and tackled him down, pinning the boy's arms behind his back.
"OW! GET OFF!"
Snarling, Jean dug his foot into Eren's shoulder, grabbed the joint and pulled as hard as he could. SNAP!
"AGHHHH! FUCK!" Eren screamed. "MY ARM!" He curled into a ball of pain, spitting profanity out between gasps.
"What's that!" Jean yelled in his ear. "I broke it? Damn, I'm so sorry I hurt your invincible, Titan-shifting ass!"
"Jean."
Jean turned to see Mikasa standing, one hand holding her ribs, the other fisted in rage. Her black eyes burned him to cinders.
He stepped back, sweat dripping down his brow. "Mikasa! Wait-!"
"Get out."
Armin, Sasha and Historia stood in the kitchen, not daring to move. They heard several gut-busting punches and a precise kick. Jean flew out the door, landing on his butt. With a groan he rolled over and clutched his groin. The door slammed closed.
"Shit!" Jean glared, burying his face in the crook of his elbow. He stumbled up, ran out the front door and banged it closed behind him.
The other three exchanged bewildered looks. Then they cringed as Mikasa opened Hanji's door again, peeking out. She stared at them, straight-faced.
"What?"
"Nothing!" Armin snatched a seat at the breakfast table.
Mikasa turned her gaze expectantly to Historia. "Historia, help me. Eren's arm is dislocated." From inside the bedroom, Eren groaned.
Wordlessly, the angelic blonde joined Mikasa's side and they disappeared through the door. As it closed, Sasha handed Armin his bowl of stew and sat next to him. Her brown eyes were huge behind her messy bangs.
"Did you know that Eren and Mikasa were...you know?"
Eren's agonized scream in the next room made both of them jump. Face burning red, Armin swallowed his stew too fast and doubled over in a coughing fit. Sasha burst into apologies.
Jean slouched on the top beam of the pasture fence. He gazed over the field where Marimo foraged and champed in the grass. Sour dejection pulled down on his face. "Stupid horse. You started all this."
He didn't hear the footsteps and was startled when someone hiked herself up on the fence beside him. Mikasa sat with her back to the field, her dark eyes stern and refusing to look his way.
"Hey!" Jean failed to mask his unnerve. "I don't think you should be up and about yet."
"I'm fine," Mikasa growled.
"Right." Jean bowed his head. The awkward silence stretched out. "I owe you an apology."
"No, you should say sorry to Eren."
Jean made a face. "He can go fuck himself."
"Stop being annoying."
"Look, Mikasa I-!"
"Last night didn't mean anything between me and Eren."
Jean stared. Mikasa's composed eyes fixed on the farmhouse. "Love is dumb. Everybody here knows we don't have time for it. None of us do."
Those last words punctured him; his whole body seemed to deflate. He looked at the ground like he wanted to sink down into it.
"The others agreed we would keep it all quiet," Mikasa continued. "You won't say anything about last night or this morning to Squad Leader and the captain."
"Yeah," Jean muttered. "My lips are sealed."
"And if you keep up your annoying grudge against Eren, I will dislocate both your shoulders and tell the captain it was a training accident."
He gulped, rubbing his shoulders. "Uh...yeah, I get it."
"Good." Mikasa hopped off the fence.
Jean watched her go. Something hot rose in his throat and he clenched his teeth. "Hey!" he shouted, the wind rising with his voice. "It doesn't matter what you say! I can tell you two love each other, don't you!"
The wind whipped Mikasa's hair about her expressionless face. She kept walking without a word.
~Fin~
Author's Note: I ran this story through a hardcore edit. It's exactly as I like it now and hopefully you'll leave a review. Romance is not my strong point in the slightest. I just feel the relationships I depicted here are closest to what's true in the canon and I wanted to explore them. Sorry Eremika shippers, but I will probably never touch this ship again, though it will always sail in the back of my mind.
Sarah