Maybe, if my heart stops beating, it won't hurt this much.
A lone figure stood silhouetted against the dark waters of the ocean, the wind whipping their hair around them. Inhaling slowly, the figure took in the salty air, the mist in the air accumulating on their nose. The figure wiped the small droplet from their face, an empty look in their eyes.
Never will I have to answer again to anyone.
Short, blonde tresses plastered to the figure's forehead, dark hazel eyes staring entranced at the waters below the cliff they stood upon. Rain pouring down in sheets around them, the figure's clothes were soaked. But if they were uncomfortable at all, they didn't show it. A glint of silver hung from her clenched fist. A locket. The figure closed their eyes, a memory flashing behind their eyes.
Brown eyes. Soft brown eyes, staring into hers, a familiar spark behind them as they drove down the road. Long brown hair waved gracefully past feminine shoulders, blowing gently in the early summer breeze. They were on their way home from the beach, after a day of tanning and swimming. School had let out the day before, and they were celebrating. Soft hazel eyes shone with happiness as a tanned hand reached for hers over the center console.
Please don't get me wrong.
The blonde's hand tightened around the necklace as the wind picked up, her face twisting as her memories ran rampant behind her eyes.
A soft brush of lips over alabaster skin. A murmured 'I love you' before everything was ripped from beneath them. The squeal of tires and two drivers slammed on their brakes. The chilling sound of metal crunching against the pavement. Red. So much red. A tanned hand still linked with hers as everything slowed to a stop. The ringing in her ear. A lifeless body slumped in the seat beside her. The dim realization that the ringing was really her screaming. More red clouding her vision.
I'll never let this go. But I can't find the words to tell you.
An anguished scream ripped from her throat as the waves crashed below, the weather seeming almost as if it was matching her pain, the storm raging around her.
I don't want to be alone, but now I feel like I don't know you.
The blonde didn't recognize the frail girl in the hospital bed. Her usually glowing, tanned skin ghostly pale against the bandages around her head. Deft, strong, yet feminine hand limp in hers. The steady beep of the machines around her barely registered in her head. A once smooth, velvety voice now hoarse spoke up. "I'm so sorry." The blonde managed to choke out, squeezing the lifeless hand in hers. "I'm so sorry, Rae. Please. Come back to me." Voice dropping slowly to a whisper, the girl rested her head on the mattress, silent tears tracking down her cheeks.
One day you'll get sick of saying everything's alright.
Another knock on her door. Another voice calling her name.Another bouquet of flowers left at her door. Her mother, screaming at her to say something, anything, because it would be better than the silence she had surrounded herself in. A routine developed in the months following Rachel's death. But the blonde didn't want their sympathy. She didn't want their 'kind' words, their condolences. All she wanted was to be wrapped in petite, yet strong arms, dancing around the livingroom to their favourite song. All she wanted was Rachel.
By then I'm sure I'll be pretending just like I am tonight.
The blonde hadn't told anyone where she was going. She had decided to finally play along to everyone elses wishes, the past two weeks. It squeezed at her numb heart to see her mother smile when she finally left her room, knowing everything she would be doing would be an act. Her mom deserved to at least feel somewhat happy before Quinn was gone.
Please don't get me wrong.
As the casket lowered slowly into the grave, Quinn stood silent beside it, a single gardenia clutched tightly in her hand, tears streaming steadily from her eyes. Despite the anguish in her eyes, her expression remained stony. She knew if she said anything, the dam inside her would break, and she'd fall apart then and there. Before the men could start burying the casket, Quinn held her hand out, stopping them so she could toss the flower into the grave, before stepping back again, left to only observe as they buried the only person she'd ever truly loved.
I don't want to be alone. But I can't find the words to tell you.
Quinn didn't leave the gravesite. As everyone filed out, she simply shook her head when people offered to walk her out. The blonde sat down beside the fresh dirt, pulling her knees up to her chest. She still didn't speak. Quinn just cried silently, the flow of tears never stopping, even after everyone had left. She stared at her wrist, the white ink tattoo there glaring back at her. She had gotten it during her skank phase, and no one had noticed. No one but her star noticed the simple star of David inked forever onto her skin.
The lone figure looked up to the dark grey sky, wondering if her star was watching her now. Wiping at her nose again, the blonde spoke up. "I'm sorry, Rachel. I'm sorry I couldn't be strong. I can't..I can't be strong without you. You were my strength, and now you're gone, and I-" Quinn's voice cracked, and she took a deep breath. "I'm starting to forget the sound of your voice. I can't forget your voice. I won't let myself. " Her expression hardened slightly, her tears mixing with the rain battering her.
I'll never let this go.
Quinn stood from her place in the cemetery, the sun having set long ago. She bent and pressed a kiss to the top of the marble star-shaped headstone. "You shine brighter, star. Wherever you are." The blonde whispered against the cool stone, before standing up straight once again, and turned away, walking from the cemetery, her heart shattering further in her chest with each step she took.
The girl opened her hand, taking the locket between her fingers, pushing on the clasp to reveal two pictures. Both of herself an Rachel. The cheesy kind, where you press your cheeks together and hold your arm out to take the photo with your phone. But Quinn never looked at the camera. Rachel would always get so angry, telling her that she needed to look at the lens. But how could she? How could she want to look at anything other than her star for all of eternity. Closing her fist around the cool metal once again, Quinn close the locket, and pulled the chain over her head, the locket resting heavily beside her own. She exhaled slowly, staring up at the sky. "I'm coming, star. I'm coming, and we'll never be apart again." She whispered into the wind, the storm carrying away her words. And without another word, the blonde took a step forward, the world falling out from beneath her, just as it had all those months ago. Except this time the result would bring her star back to her.
But now it feels like I don't know you...
AN: The end! That was kinda hard to write, but I've had this idea in mind for a while. This is indeed a one shot. The song it's based on is called 'Never Let This Go', by Paramore. I hope you enjoyed!