So this was from one of those robot chicken scenes that I saw and I swear to god, Superman is an asshole. I mean it. Anyway, enjoy.
The cool water felt refreshing down his throat as he drank from his plastic cup. He was telling a story and no. Not 'i saved the world' story or a ' this is how be kind' story. No a man story.
A stupid man story about chicks.
Hot chicks.
Clark tried to contain his laughter and awesomeness on how he got two beautiful women to have sex with him. Lois Lane and Lana Lang.
Clark stood at the water machine with Flash, Martine Manhunter and Green Arrow. Superman was telling them of his man stories. They all tuned into listen.
He told them that he took Lois first to the Fortress of Solitude. He told Lois of a terrible plan that an outsider of earth would do to their beloved planet. He said that he would have to give to their conditions so they wouldn't destroy the earth. He must give up his powers. Superman said, " I will give up my powers for you." He then proceeded inside of this crystal looking tube and a red light came on. He started to grunt loudly. Sweat coming from his brow as he made the noises. He shook with violence as if it hurt. The red light then turned off and he limped out of the tube.
Clark mimicked how he limped out with his buddies laughing the whole way. He continued with the story.
He then said that Lois spoke. She said " I can't believe you can up your powers for me," star strucked as she put her hands over her heart. Superman than said " I love you Lois..." in a weak voice. That's how he got Lois to have sex with him.
He was high fived by his friends as if it was an achievement to fuck her. He shushed them.
He then told them that he did the same thing with Lana.
Superman smiled like he won something. He decided to make a joke about is as well, "...and than Bam, boom, kneel before my rod!" He did a pelvis thrust. His friends were laughing, stoked by their friend. Green arrow gave him a high five mix with a first pump, meanwhile flash is saying, " I'm a fast player but you the fastest. Damn right up to that ass, oh yeah!" Martian gave him a fist pump as well.
Superman smiled along with his buddies but never noticed the creature of the night hiding behind the corner listening to them, his face and heart broken. Batman.
Batman crouched their in disbelief, as memories played back.
Batman had seen one of those stunts. He had seen him 'give up his powers' for him. He had seen that look of lust.
He remember that feeling of what would be called, butterflies in his stomach. He had remembered that feeling that someone cared enough for him to do that. He thought he was blessed. He was wrong. That douchebag.
But he was a hot douchebag.
He got up and knocked a table over in frustration. He was going to pay. He could feel his heart break but not here, not now. Now was the time to plan. And plan he did.
Hope he likes kryptonite enemas.