Title: Can't Shouldn't
Author: A.M. Glass
Copyright dates: January 1st- 4th, 2008
Ratings: (USA) T (UK) 15 (AUS) PG
Spoilers: Vague reference to "Penelope."
Pairing: Reid/JJ mention, Garcia/Morgan mention, Reid/Garcia?
Show Disclaimer: The characters from "Criminal Minds" were created by Jeff Davis. The following companies produce the show: Touchstone/CBS Paramount Network Television, The Mark Gordon Company, ABC Studios and Paramount Network Television. The Executive – Co–Executive producers are: Gigi Coello-Bannon, Deborah Spero, Edward Allen Bernero, Debra J. Fisher, Mark Gordon and Jeff Davis.
Author's Disclaimer: Let's face it, I don't own "Criminal Minds" or any of the characters, back story, etc. I'm not making a cent from it – if I did, I'd buy a new computer and some other things. The story; along with any original characters are mine though… I think; pesky copyright laws.
Author's Notes: I would consider this a sequel to "Not Quite Babysitting." Oh, the movie mentioned in "NQB" "Santa Claus vs. The Martians," should be "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians."
Three months ago, Spencer Reid had done Derek Morgan a favor of sorts. He had agreed to watch Garcia while the team had a case in Detroit, one he could not go on due to an injury he'd sustained.
It was understandable that she was against the entire thing, yet somehow, someway, Derek had done something to change her mind.
Reid had spent two nights with her, sleeping on her couch and in the process had the opportunity to get to know her better, just as she had him.
He smiled as he recalled the movie she had wanted to "corrupt you with."
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
He was embarrassed by his behavior the first time he watched it with her. How he'd shouted "Run!" when Betty and Billy had stood frozen in terror when Torg – the robot who bore no resemblance whatsoever to "Robbie" from Forbidden Planet; who actually looked like a robot, and not some cardboard cut out, came after them.
Garcia's laughter filled the room as she patted him on the arm, his face flush, "Don't worry Genius, they'll be fine."
He had watched it again, after he had bought a copy. It had taken a few days to track it down, but he had. He laughed with childlike abandon each time he watched the kids run from the badly costumed man in a polar bear suit.
Ever since then they had gotten together at least twice a month for movie night. Garcia had introduced him to different types of movies and he found his once bare (see practically non-existent) DVD collection begin to grow.
One day he would have to bring a movie of his own, which might be difficult as he hadn't watched many growing up.
He glanced at the clock, grabbed his cell phone and dialed.
"Hiya Reid – what's going on?"
"Hey Garcia, I was wondering," he began as he rocked in his chair, "I overheard JJ and Emily talking – not that I was eves dropping or anything," he added hastily sitting up straight.
Penelope laughed.
Reid smiled, he enjoyed listening to her laugh, there was absolute no artifice, no deceit, just simple amusement.
"Go on Genius."
"Well, they happened to be discussing a movie..."
"Which?"
"Somewhere in..."
"Time," they both finished.
"You've heard of it? Wait, what am I thinking, of course you've heard of it," he mumbled under his breath.
"Oooh Reid, you'll like it, even if it's a romantic movie..."
"We haven't seen one of those yet," he said as they went over the movies they had seen so far.
Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown
Avanti
The Long Goodbye
"I love Geena Davis," Garcia confessed while the movie played.
Laura
"No, but you can watch it, we can watch it," she corrected, "And when the movies' over you can point out all the flaws with the professors' theory."
"Theory? This is a romantic movie?" he asked.
Penelope smiled, she could see Reid's face in her minds eye, his eyebrows would be arched, his eyes filled with wonderment and curiosity. "I knew that would get your attention, yes it's a romance movie and if I say anymore it'll ruin it."
Spencer pouted. "That doesn't seem fair."
"No, it isn't and no renting the movie before we see it together. I know how that mind of yours works Genius, no cheating."
He sighed. She did know him. He had been tempted to rent the movie and watch it by himself. "Okay," he conceded, "I won't see it before we do."
"Deal, I've got to go, talk to you later. Bye."
"Bye."
Reid stood in front of Garcia's door.
He felt nervous – nervous in a way that had only happened once before. "This isn't a date," he reminded himself as he absentmindedly tucked his hair behind his ear making a mental note about getting it cut.
This wasn't a football game and Garcia wasn't JJ.
He frowned.
Was he cheating on JJ?
He shook his head, they'd only gone out once, but he had to admit he still felt something for her.
And it was these feelings that scared him now.
It was these feelings that kept him from knocking on Garcia's door.
No.
Not gonna happen, this was bad news.
He can't feel this way.
He was going to turn around and leave. He'd call Garcia and make up some story as to why he couldn't show up.
Again he frowned.
He can't lie to her.
Yet he couldn't tell her the truth.
How could he possibly have feeling for Garcia and JJ at the same time? The one person he knew he could have asked was gone. Asking Morgan was out of the question and very, very unadvisable.
He knew Morgan liked Garcia – how much? That was the big question.
Everyone knew Garcia liked Morgan – a lot. So, he wasn't in a position to pursue Garcia even if he wanted to.
Did he want to?
He smiled briefly, before his shoulders slumped.
It wasn't going to happen – it seemed his lot in life – fall for someone unattainable.
Why?
Why did his heart have to betray him this way?
Why did it burn for them?
Why was he asking?
He knew the answer.
They had blown the dust off his heart.
They had in their own way opened his eyes to possibilities.
For a future not spent alone – miserable – surrounded by books – devoid of companionship, possibly insane.
They showed him a future filled with love, warmth, friendship and laughter. They showed him a future he wanted to grab with both hands and never let go.
"Reid – are you okay?"
He shook his head, "What?" How long had he been standing outside her door?
Garcia reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder, moving it up until she touched his cheek. He wasn't warm, yet he looked flushed.
"You had me worried there – I said your name a few times and you didn't answer," she told him.
He blushed, "Sorry, I – ah – I guess I was distracted."
"Are you sure?" she asked as she stepped aside so he could enter.
He nodded, "I'm sure."
Garcia watched him walk to the couch and sat down, clutching his satchel. She closed the door. She frowned. Something was wrong. He looked tense. He hadn't looked like this, ramrod stiff, eyes staring straight ahead in a long time.
He had over the space of three months relaxed considerably, so Garcia knew something had happened. What? She'd have to find out.
"Do you want anything to drink?" she asked.
"No. Thank you."
She went to the couch and sat down next to him. She stared at him.
Spencer could feel Penelope's gaze and turned to look at her before turning away.
"Reid did something happened?" she asked softly as she slid her hand across the back of the couch and rested it on his shoulder.
He closed his eyes as the warmth of her hand seeped through his shirt.
He shivered as a chill ran down his spine.
He bit his lip.
He can't...
Want this.
He can't turn toward her...
He can't cradle her face – allowing his thumbs to caress her lips.
He can't shut his eyes and close the gap between them.
He can't press his lips against hers.
He shouldn't gently beg for permission to enter her mouth.
He shouldn't moan as she acquiesced to his entreaty.
He shouldn't want to feel her hands in his hair – gripping – tugging as the kiss intensified, deepened.
He shouldn't have to pull back gasping for air.
His eyes shouldn't flutter open and gaze into her face – her lips swollen, breathing deeply...
Smiling.
He can't...
He shouldn't...
This is why he stood up abruptly and said to a startled Garcia, "I'm sorry, I've got to go."
Garcia never had a chance to say a word as Spencer practically ran out. He never answered her question, he had simply sat there, his eyes closed his hand clenching.
She thought she'd heard him moan?
What the hell was going on?
The End.