Chapter I
Apartment of ADA Alexandra Cabot
Monday September 18th, 2000,
6:00AM
I wake-up to the familiar pain in my abdomen, I knew it was coming, I attempted to prepare for this, just like I do every month, but I can't. I can handle my period, barely, but then in the middle of my cycle this happens, the pain is so bad I don't want to get out of bed, but I am an ADA, the detectives aren't off today so I can't be either. I slowly slide out of bed hoping not to exacerbate the pain.
I wake up early on these days so I have extra time to get ready, when the pain is this bad I move incredibly slowly, I need the time so I'm not late. I can't be late, I'm never late, everyone at the office would know something was wrong. I knock back four tablets of advil, knowing it will
have little effect on the fire in my belly, but at this point any kind of pain relief is better than nothing.
The heat from the shower dulls the pain a bit, but not much, and the moment I exit the glass stall any relief is gone. A wave of nausea overcomes me and I rush over to my toilet, vomiting up the pills and whatever I had for dinner last night, I take the medication again and then put on a dress. While female ADAs rarely wore dresses, there was no way I could wear the tight skirts that one typically wore with those suits. I put on my make-up and do my hair, avoiding brushing my teeth incase my stomach rebelled again.
When the clock shows ten minutes before I normally leave I brush my teeth, grateful to get the awful taste of vomit out of my mouth. I toss the toothbrush and toothpaste into my purse along with a small bottle that contained every OTC pain reliever I could think of, aleve, advil, tylenol, excedrin, and midol. I knew that if I alternated pills I could take something every 3 or 4 hours without ODing, and that because it was now 7:30, and I took the pills at about 6:30, I had at least another 2 hours to go.
Outside 1-6 Presencent
Monday, September 18th, 2000
8:00AM
Normally, I'd walk the five blocks to the SVU office, where I was today lacking both a court date and a case that I needed to work on, but I could barely make it out of my apartment so I took a cab. Upon entering the station, I see Oliva is rushing out to Mercy, not wanting to be with a bunch of males I decide to tag along.
Mercy Hospital
Monday, September 18th, 2000
8:30AM
When we get to the hospital a young girl, about 14, with long auburn hair pulled into a braid revealing her bright blue eyes that show her intense fear, is sitting on an exam table in a thin paper robe, this is not an unfamiliar sight to me, but it still rattles me to my core. When Benson enters the curtained off area, I follow her.
"Hello my name is Olivia, I'm a detective, and this is Alex Cabot, she's an attorney."
"Hello, I'm Lily." the kid has impeccable manners, to introduce herself so politely in these circumstances.
"We're trying to call your mom and dad." The girl cowers Olivia's statement.
"Lilly, do you not want us to call your parents?" I ask
"Please don't, they'll be mad at me." She replies
At this the detective kneels by the table next to the young girl "Honey, this isn't your fault, they won't be mad at you for something you couldn't have caused."
"They don't care, it was my job to protect my chastity and virtue, they'll be mad." Is her reply.
I notice a confused look on Olivia's face, almost joining her in confusion, but then I realize that our vic is LDS. Meaning that she is bound to end up feeling at least partially guilty for the attack and that her parents will be mad at her, the religion values a woman near exclusively on her virginity and if she is to lose that, regardless of circumstance, she'll considered worthless. I walk up behind Liv who is kneeled next to the girl.
"Let me take this" I whisper into her ear and then pull a wheelchair that was abandon over by the bed and sit in it.
"Are you LDS?" I ask.
"Yes ma'am"
"Liv, don't call her parents just yet." I command
With that a doctor comes in carrying a white box, "Do I need to wait for them to begin?" She asks, then introduces herself as Dr. Lisa Edwards, she appears to be in her mid to late twenties, her straight red hair is pulled back in a ponytail, and her face is covered in freckles.
"Can we just get this over with?" Asks Lily. "I would really like to be done with this before my parents get here, they'll be really mad." The poor kid is more afraid of her parents than a kit, and for once, I don't think she's wrong.
The doctor can see the two of us are still talking to the girl and waits.
"Why are you so afraid of your parent's Lily?" Asks the detective.
"Can you please tell her Ms. Cabot, I don't think she'll understand if I tell her." Pleads the girl, this is the first time a vic has ever preferred me over Olivia, but I guess my small amount of knowledge on the cult like religion that most likely has consumed the majority of the young teenagers life, gives me a small connection, that isn't enough to judge her, and is comforting.
"Sure, Lily. Olivia, in the LDS church a girl's virginity is really important, the church teaches that it is the most important part of them, and that they must guard it with their lives."
"My mom said she'd rather me come home in a pine box with my virtue than alive without it." Lily adds, "Ms. Cabot, how did you know that? Were you LDS?"
"No, Lily, I'm not, but I once prosecuted a case involving the LDS church, I had to do a lot of research on the topic." I decide to leave out that the case was prosecuting the leader of an LDS church, and that I did the research to figure out how to insult him without crossing the line of human decency.
Liv exits the room and motions for me to do the same, presumably to talk about our young victim's dilemma. Upon my attempt to rise from the chair, protests come from not only my abdomen but Lily as well, so I sit down and we stay in the area.
"When and how are we going to contact her parents?" Olivia asks, almost as to acknowledge her approval of my leadership in the situation.
"If it's okay with Lily, I was thinking we complete the exam prior to contacting her parents, upon doing so we will inform them simply that she has been mugged." I scheme.
"Aren't her parents going to be looking for her? Can she even consent to the kit? Is this legal?" Olivia's question fire in rapid succession.
Her first question is answered by Lily thankfully,as the pain I was in made the cunning strategies I usually produce with ease difficult to concoct, "My parents aren't expecting me home for another four hours, I was on my way to the library when it happened and they don't have a public phone, so my parents don't expect me to check in." The words are near melodic as it means I don't have to use any more brain power to untangle the messed up web that is the interactions of that family.
As for the answer to her other two questions I am made grateful for the fact I have committed the state of New York's ordinances regarding all aspects of rape, including evidence collection, to my mind so well I could recall them as rapidly as I could my own name. As she answered the first question I managed to pull together a coherent string of words "In the state of New York a minor is allowed to give informed consent to all forms of medical care pertaining to a sexual assault, including evidence collection, STD testing and contraceptive services. From a legal perspective not only are we allowed not to disclose that she has been assaulted, but we can't without her consent, so we are completely in the clear."
"Well, on that note, Lily, are you okay with me performing evidence collection?" Asks the kind doctor who was waiting patiently on Olivia, Lily and me to finish our conversation.
"Yes ma'am." Is her response, her voice is shakey, I'm sure it had been the entire time and I have been too caught up in myself to notice.
Taking it as a cue I once attempt to rise once again, and as I make it to my feet the girl looks at me with sheer terror in her eyes, "Please Ms. Cabot, can you stay with me, I'm scared." I watch a single tear drip down her left cheek, as the doctor opens the white box that has been a savior to me in many trials, the magnitude of her situation must have set in.
"Of course Lily, and please call me Alex, do you want Olivia to stay and take your statement, or she can do it later at the station, whichever you prefer." I answer, grateful to move less, however I do attempt to stand next to the bed, incase the doctor needed to access her from up here.
"I think I'd rather wait." She says
"Alex, you're welcome to sit back down." Grants the young doctor, and I plant myself in the chair.
She asks her medical history, I am honestly surprised at how well the girl answers the questions, when I glance at my watch I realize I am past due for pain pills, the time reading 10.
"Lily, I'll be right back, I need to use the restroom."
"Okay Alex."
"Down the hall," says the doctor.
I knock back the pills quickly, praying nobody saw me, it feels weird to take pills in a hospital when you're not a patient.
They are done with the history when I re-enter the room.
The doctor scrapes beneath her nails and takes pictures of her bruised chest, neck and stomach, after which the child extends her hand and I reach grasp it, hoping I can provide her at least some comfort, not that much was possible for a vic but before I can the doctor interrupts:
"Alex, if you hold her hand you'll need to wear gloves" She says passing me a box of said object. I put them on and then grasp the child's hand.
Her mouth is then swabbed, then her bruises, the doctor works her way down, finally finishing after what feels like forever but was in reality twenty minutes.
"Lily these are the underwear you were wearing at the time, correct?" Asks the doctor.
"Yes ma'am"
"Okay I'm going to place down a sheet of paper and then I want you to scoot down and put your legs in on these holders." Instructs the doctor.
I move down with her, my seat positioned at her head.
"I am going to remove your underwear now, okay?" She's Kimi attempting to make Lily feel like she's in control.
"Yes ma'am" The teenager replies flushing red.
I hear the sniping of scissors on the fabric. The girl looks mortified, I attempt to console her giving her the same stupid line one always is offered during these types of exams "She does this all the time, you don't need to be embarrassed." I whisper into her ear.
"Lily, I need to collect a sample of pubic hair, are you okay with that?" The woman's trying to be nice, but it honestly feels patronizing, I want to snap at her, the pain makes my tolerance level for this kind of stuff quite low, but I grit my teeth and power though.
"I am going to begin the internal exam now, did he penetrate you vaginally or anally?"
The child looks confused so I decide to simplify. "Which hole did he put it in? Could you tell?" I attempt to ask gently, although it feels quite crass.
"The front one. It hurt, will the swabbing thing hurt?" she asks, revealing just how little she knew about sex, and the shame she felt about the act couldn't help.
"It might, it depends on if there's any tearing." The doctor says "I'm going to put this inside you vaginia and gently touch the sides with it okay?"
"Okay, so the front one is my vagina, right?" I don't laugh, as much as I want to, but instead answer her question.
"Yes." I reply, matter of factly, I'd been with the girl for over an hour, I knew these could take over four, and offending her with any kind of tone to imply she was stupid is not the way to go.
Her grip tightens on my hand "It hurts, is it over?" she asks
"That's done, are you on your period?" asks the doctor.
"Uhh..." Is the teens response
"You don't need to be embarrassed, it's something we've all gone though," I attempt to help, the question reminding me of my problems.
"No, I'm not, why?" she sounds mortified.
"Well there was a bit of blood on the swab, I'll need to do a better exam, but I think you'll need stitches." I watch as her embarrassment turns back to fear.
"I'm going to insert the speculum, it'll let me get a better look at the tear, okay?" She nods and then grips my hand like a vice, I gently squeeze back, remembering my college roommate doing the same for me when my pain got bad, it was oddly reassuring, almost like a conversation.
"Okay there is about an inch long tear, and that's going to need some stitches, I'm done collecting evidence. Do you want me to sew the tear?" The doctor informs
"Yes" is her reply.
"I'm going to spray a topical anesthetic to numb it a little bit, while we wait for that to take effect, we can talk about what I found."
Lily nods.
"Alex you don't have to wear the glove anymore." I take off the purple sweat holder and give it to the doctor who was reaching to grab it.
"Lily" She starts "I found semen, which means he didn't wear a condom, this means you can become pregnant and may have STDs, which are diseases spread through sex. I can give you medicine that'll prevent certain STDs, I took a swab I can run for the other ones and I can tell you the results in a few hours if you want me to test it. Do you want the medicine and the test?"
"Yeah, but how do I get the results, I won't be here, will I?"
"No, but you'll probably be at the police station, I can call Olivia with the results, she'll be taking your statement anyway."
"Okay " She was dropping the manners, finally, it was slightly creepy.
"Now, you also could get pregnant, I can give you a medicine that could stop that from happening if it's about to happen, but if there is already a baby growing it won't abort it."
"Will my parents know?" she asks
"Only if you tell them." I respond.
"Okay, give me that."
"I'll be right back, Alex, will chain of custody be maintained if I pass this on to you?"
"Yes, Lily, do you want to press charges?" I ask so I can officially accept the evidence.
"Yes ma'am"
The next thing I know the doctor is back in and gives the girl a cup with a bunch of pills in it, she took each one at a time. I check on the time, it's 11. The kit took 2 hours, which is actually pretty short, in my understanding.
"I think that the spray should have taken effect, I'm going to suture you now, okay?" asks the doctor.
"Yes, Alex will you hold my hand?"
"Of course, do you want to try to talk, it might keep your mind off of it?" I suggest, wondering if that'll help the girl, not that it's ever helped me.
"What would we talk about?" she asks.
"Whatever you want." I answer, at this point attempting to distract her from the incoming speculum.
"That really hurts!" she exclaims right after the doctor finished her status report.
Lily must have been in a lot of pain, because tears dripped from her eyes.
"I'm really sorry Lily, numbing spray doesn't do much and I can't really inject anything, you're probably going to feel this, just try to keep talking to Alex, okay?"
"Okay." she replies, her lip quivering
"Lily, tell me about school." I attempt to start a conversation.
"I don't like school, kids always make fun of me." Damn, let's try to talk about pleasant-ish things, she'd obviously smart...
"Kids picked on me all the time in school" I say, remembering the names, so uncreative, four eyes, bitch, cunt, they really thought those were clever? "but I really liked to learn, I loved English and Debate. Do you like that part of school?"
"Yeah, my favorite- OWW"
"Sorry, I'm halfway through that first stitch, I think you're going to need ten." The doctor is obviously trying to minimise the pain, but she's sticking a needle in the girl's vagina, there's not much she can do.
"Lily, focus on me, squeeze my hand, you're doing great." She doesn't respond, she's too focused on the pain.
"Okay, I finished the first one, let's take a break for a second." Her method is much like a tattoo artist's a break lets the pain go down a little bit before more is added, not that I know from first hand experience, just from listening to Stabler and Munch get into arguments about the stupidity of tattoos, and I found myself agreeing with Munch, something I hope not to repeat . "I need to go talk to someone for a second anyway" she adds
"Listen, I know you don't want to talk, so why don't you ask me something you want to know about me and I'll answer it?"
"Well, seeing as how much of my really personal stuff you know, tell me about yourself." Lily seems to realize she can actually be herself, and that her parents won't be told any of this.
"Like what?" I ask, just as the doctor re-enters and gets back to her work.
We have a conversation about school and boys pulling pigtails and all that crap you get asked about in those stupid introductions at team building meetings between the teeth gritting and hand clutching eventually the procedure is finished, Liv comes in and we go back to the station.