Title: Honestly OK
Author: Makoto Sagara
Pairing: 1+2
Category: Angst, Romance
Warnings: Shonen ai, angst, songfic, PWP
Disclaimers: Don't own Gundam Wing. *cries* Don't own lyrics to Honestly OK. *cries again* GW is owned by Bandai, Sunrise, Sotsu Agency and a bunch of others. Honestly OK is owned by D. Armstrong, M. Benbrook & R. Armstrong, and is sung by Dido. *praises the almighty goddess Dido*
A/N: Inspired by an extremely angsty time in my life. Hope it doesn't make anyone too upset. Just wrote this to make myself feel better. No point really.
~ blah ~ indicates lyrics sung…
Heero watched as Duo sat in the window seat, just staring out, not talking, not moving, not doing anything. That bothered him. Usually, the braided boy was bouncing around the safe house, asking annoying questions, anything to get to Heero.
"M… Ba… Duo," he started, hoping the other boy would look at him. "Duo?"
"Hai?" the American whispered, not looking over.
"Daijoubu desu ka?" the Japanese boy asked, concern evident in his voice.
"Hai." Duo finally turned his face to look at Heero. His usually bright and lively violet eyes were dull and lifeless. "Hee-chan, let's go out."
Heero felt his heart lurch in his chest at the almost pleading tone in Duo's voice. "Ok," he agreed, hoping that the beautiful American would awaken once outside the safe house.
Duo stood. "I know where I want to go. I just don't want to be alone." He walked past Heero and out towards the car that they had "borrowed" on their last mission. The nearest town was two miles from their current location, and Duo had looked around while passing through it.
Heero followed Duo out to the car, and sat in the passenger seat, trying to watch Duo without being caught doing it. They drove in silence for the short trip, stopping outside a kind of bar.
"What the…" Heero started.
Duo looked at him, some of the former life reappearing in his eyes. "It's a karaoke bar."
Heero blinked. Duo wanted to sing? That was fine with him, as long as he didn't expect Heero to come up there with him.
They entered and saw that the place was full of young people. Heero quickly, and automatically searched for the exits and any plausible enemies. Finding nothing, he sat at a table in the back, and watched as Duo walked confidently towards the front of the small bar.
The lights dimmed as Duo took the stage, and a slow and sad melody started up.
"I just want to feel safe in my own skin," Duo's sad, smooth baritone crooned. "I just want to be happy again." A spotlight shone on the American's lithe body, which was moving in suggestive time with the beat.
~ I just want to feel deep in my own world,
but I'm so lonely, I don't even want to be with myself anymore. ~
Heero watched hypnotized as the braided boy's voice and body took over all his senses.
~ On a different day,
If I was safe in my own skin,
Then I wouldn't feel lost
And so frightened. ~
The song was so completely in tune with Duo that he lost all sense of time and place while he was singing. He forgot that he was a Gundam pilot, and therefore a terrorist. He forgot that he was alone in the world, with no family, no home, no real friends.
~ But this is today
And I'm lost in my own skin.~
Heero could feel the cheer in the room leave as Duo continued to sing. The people nearest the stage seemed to know the words to the song and were accompanying the American, albeit, quietly. The power behind the baritone was captivating.
~ And I'm so lonely
I don't even want to be with myself anymore.~
The lights dimmed again, and all that Heero could see was Duo's darkened frame in the shadows, still moving seductively in time with the song.
~ And I'm so lonely
I don't even want to be with myself anymore. ~
The song continued its slow and hypnotic melody, many background voices chatting something that was almost too hard to decipher.
~ And I'm so lonely
I don't even want to be with myself anymore. ~
The song slowed even more, and Duo's voice, heavily laced with sadness, cut through the silent bar.
~ I just want to feel safe in my own skin.
I just want to be happy again.~
The song died, and Duo came over to the table, ignoring the applause and calls for more. "Let's go. I feel better."
Heero blinked, and slowly stood, following the American back to the car, and the safe house.
When they arrived, Duo leaned over to Heero, gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and headed to his room, saying, "Thank you, Hee-chan. G'night."
The confused Japanese boy just stood there, watching the braided boy shut himself off behind the door. Blue eyes just stared at the door for a while, before closing. Heero thought about the light kiss, and then walked to his computer to find the song that Duo had sung at the bar.
Honestly OK by Dido. How ironic, Heero thought, shutting the lid to his laptop, and went to his own room.
Neither spoke of that night again, but Heero kept the date in mind. A week later, he went looking on the net, and found that the date was the seven year anniversary of the Maxwell Church Massacre.
Fin.