I hope you like this new story. I warn you it is a sad one. When you are going through some rough times in your own life, is hard to have happy thoughts, and I hope writing this would make me feel ok. I started writing another story, but in my own language, spanish. I'll post it this week.
Of course I don't own Smallville, and I'd like to thank you for reading this.
YOU CAN BE HAPPY.
Chapter 1: Dreams.
Clark picked up the phone and started dialing. His mind was absolutely made up, no doubts. It was the most important decision of his life. There was no other way.
All of his life, he lived with guilt, and learnt lo live with it. Sometimes his poor judgement ended up in disaster, for himself and the people he cared about, hurting them one way or another. Even considering all his good deeds, saving people, putting out fires, stopping robberies; all on daily basis; it just wasn't enough.
But not anymore. Everything was about to change, forever.
"Oliver. Hi. Look, I was thinking about what we discussed the other day. I'm going to do it". Clark looked down as he received the answer he was waiting for. "Ok, and... Ollie... ehm... are you gonna see her tonight?". He waited. He was hurting inside. But he had already chosen. He had to be strong, for everyone who trusted him, for her. "Well, please don't tell her anything till it's done, ok? See you tomorrow, bye".
How he fell in love that way, he didn't know. Of course he couldn't know that. It felt like a fist connected full force on his very soul, not giving him time for anything, except fall flat on his face. And just like that he started to hope, he started to dream, and in those dreams everything seemed so perfect, like something that was right in front of his face, waiting for him to grab and never let go.
Even in his waking hours he pictured her, walking down the aisle, looking absolutely beautiful, like a princess walking out of a fairy tale, while he waited for her, feeling like the luckiest guy in the whole world. They would have a family, a house full of kids, laughter and love. Facing life together, each and everyday waking side by side with the woman he loved, feeling part of something special, feeling human. He would arrive home late after making a save, and he would find her sitting on the couch, her hair tied up in a ponytail, wearing a sweatshirt finishing some work. They would talk about anything and it all would be like a dream.
But... in real life there are no such things as dreams and fairy tales. And life has to be accepted just like it is. No point in living in a world of warm dreams, only to wake up to a steel cold reality. 'The Man of Steel', yeah, right. Only on the outside.
As he started walking, he left his feet lead him, and before knowing he arrived at the barn. For so long it had been his 'Fortress of Solitude', the place where he spend a lot of time analyzing, thinking, brooding, mourning; ot just looking to the stars, trying to imagine the home he lost, a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. He couldn't help imagine how his life could have been, if Krypton was still in one piece. Maybe he could have lived on a farm or something like that, just like he did on Earth; difficult thing considering Krypton was an ice and crystal planet.
But the most important thing, he would feel just like any other man, and maybe he could find the right woman, romanced her and love her without holding back, without fear, without being a freaking alien. Because that was exactly what he was, an alien. Sure, intergalactic traveler sounded a lot nicer, but in the end it changed nothing, not even a bit.
Clark started packing his bags. He figured wherever he was going, he wasn't going to need much clothes, so, the most logical choice was to pack other kind of things. Not really knowing why, his hands reached a small wooden box; and he opened it. Inside he found something he thought lost, a silver bracelet with a diamond shaped turquoise right in the middle of it. It was supposed to be on the arm of his true one, and it was used to be on the arm of a gorgeous girl. But now it was forgotten, inside of a dusty wooden box. He picked it up, blew the dust covering it and looked at it again. It was indeed a nice piece of jewelery, and it deserved to have a better destiny, so he put it back in the box and shoved the box inside of a bag.
He got to the desk, holding so much memories, albums with pictures of everyone who had been important in his life, people he loved. Of course he didn't love everyone the same way, but they all had in common that same feeling. His father, Jonathan; Martha, pictures of them together, his friends, Pete, Chloe, Jimmy, Bart, Kara, Oliver, Alicia, Lana, memories of better times all over the pages; all happiness. He shoved them inside the bag, but something else caught his eye. It was a framed picture. Everybody looked utterly happy, both his parents, himself, and her. He couldn't muster enough courage to keep it, and he left it right in its place. Quite a super-hero he was.
Once back in the house, he finish making the arrangements needed in order to allow his neighbor, Ben Hubbard, to run the farm until his mom comes back. He was going to make sure everything kept working and he could use the farm to his own needs. He would even feed Shelby. It seemed all ok.
It was awful, and it felt just like that, like a sad ending of a sad movie; to leave everything behind. How was it possible that something that is supposed to be right could feel so wrong?
After eating a sandwich, Clark climbed up the stairs leading to his bedroom, that no matter how much time had passed it still smelled like her. He entered the room knowing the next day it was all going to change, so he needed to be prepared to leave without looking back. Because he was not gonna turn back, he couldn't. He took his clothes off and lied on the bed, feeling surrounded by her scent. How could he not dream about her.
TBC
Thanks for reading. Please review. Major flashbacks coming on the next chapters.