(This is a parody on my favorite childhood poem Casey at the Bat, implementing the Bleach characters role playing the characters depicted in the poem. Also, there is some commentary from said characters. Please enjoy)
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or the rights to the poem "Casey at the Bat"
The Outlook wasn't brilliant for the Karakura nine that day:
The score stood four to two, with but one inning more to play.
And then when Keigo died at first, and Uryu did the same,
A sickly silence fell upon the patrons of the game.
A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The rest
Clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
They thought, if only Ichigo could get but a whack at that -
They'd put up even money, now, with Ichigo at the bat.
But Toshiro preceded Ichigo, as so did Renji Blake,
And the former was a short stack and the latter was a cake;
Renji: You will NEVER mention my middle name again
Ichigo: Shut up Renji Blake
Renji: Bite me
Me: *ahem*
So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy sat,
For there seemed but little chance of Ichigo's getting to the bat.
But Toshiro let drive a single, to the wonderment of all,
And the much despised Renji tore the cover off the ball;
And when the dust had lifted, and the men saw what had occurred,
There was Renji safe at second and Shiro a-hugging third.
Then from 5,000 throats and more there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell;
It knocked upon the mountain and recoiled upon the flat,
For Ichigo, mighty Ichigo, was advancing to the bat.
There was ease in Ichigo's manner as he stepped into his place;
There was pride in Ichigo's bearing and a scowl on Ichigo's face.
Me: Scowl? It's supposed to be smile
Ichigo: I am NOT smiling for this
Me: Party pooper
And when, responding to the cheers, he lightly doffed his hat,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt 'twas Ichigo at the bat.
Ten thousand eyes were on him as he rubbed his hands with dirt;
Five thousand tongues applauded when he wiped them on his shirt.
Ichigo fangirls: We love you Ichigo
Ichigo: *nervous laughter and smile*
Then while the writhing pitcher ground the ball into his hip,
Defiance gleamed in Ichigo's eye, a sneer curled Ichigo's lip.
Byakuya: Why am I in this again?
Me: Cause I needed a pitcher to oppose Ichigo and Aizen would cooperate
And now the leather-covered sphere came hurtling through the air,
And Ichigo stood a-watching it in haughty grandeur there.
Close by the sturdy batsman the ball unheeded sped-
"That ain't my style," said Ichigo. "Strike one," the umpire said.
Renji: And Urahara gets to be the umpire because
Me: He's a fair umpire! Screw you!
Renji: Yeah, you keep telling yourself that
From the benches, black with people, there went up a muffled roar,
Like the beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore.
"Kill him! Kill the umpire!" shouted someone on the stand;
And its likely they'd a-killed him had not Ichigo raised his hand.
With a smile of Soulish charity great Ichigo's visage shone;
He stilled the rising tumult; he bade the game go on;
He signaled to the pitcher, and once more the spheroid flew;
But Ichigo still ignored it, and the umpire said, "Strike two."
"Fraud!" cried the maddened thousands, and echo answered fraud;
But one scornful look from Ichigo and the audience was awed.
They saw his face grow stern and cold, they saw his muscles strain,
And they knew that Ichigo wouldn't let that ball go by again.
The sneer is gone from Ichigo's lip, his teeth are clenched in hate;
He pounds with cruel violence his bat upon the plate.
And now the pitcher holds the ball, and now he lets it go,
And now the air is shattered by the force of Ichigo's blow.
Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Karakura town - mighty Ichigo has—
CRACK!
Urahara: It's going…going…gone! Home Run!
Me: What the…ICHIGO!
Ichigo: Did you honestly think I would strike out, you're pathetic
Me: But that's not…how…it…gah
Rukia: PARTY AT ICHIGO'S!
*Everyone leaves*
(A/N: Way to ruin a great children's story Ichigo way to go).