A/N: This is continued from "Lonely Table, Empty Heart." It will take place only on holidays, which basically means there will be a little one or two shot for each holiday from Halloween until whenever I feel like stopping.
It's only day 26, but Rachel feels comfortable enough to ask Quinn if she's doing something for Halloween. Her fathers have always called Halloween the most romantic night of the year and have been disappointed for the past two years when Rachel decided she was too old to go trick-or-treating and they couldn't have their annual horror movie marathon. This year, however, Rachel actually has a "someone special" to spend Halloween with and wishes to test her dads' theory that it can be a ridiculously romantic holiday.
Lunch is cold on day 26, Friday, October 30th, but that doesn't deter Quinn and Rachel from their now comfortable and daily routine. Whatever they are, whatever they've become since that first kiss and date at the bowling alley on day twelve doesn't really seem to matter since neither of them is close to anyone else. It's almost guaranteed that they can be loyal to each other without actually having to establish a proper term for their existence together. But that all changes when right in the middle of the period, when Rachel's munching on her half-frozen grapes and Quinn's popping M'n'M's like some people pop pills, Finn comes out the door and bursts their little bubble and wrecks their little paradise. It's been a nice break, not having to deal with people and stares throughout the hallways. Now, they simply encounter the occasional Slurpee in their faces but the entire Glee Club gets that now, except for Santana and Brittany because they still have their Cheerios uniforms and Matt and Mike because most of the football team doesn't even realize that they're in the club. And like Mr. Schue told Quinn, she does have eleven friends to get that icky substance out of her hair every time that frigid drink splatters against her face- well, technically she has ten friends and one girlfriend type person to help her. Quinn has taken to keeping an extra set of clothing in her locker and wearing a raincoat around school until things settle down. What's worse is that though Finn joined their side (at the very last minute, she might add) he still doesn't look nearly as sympathetic as everyone else when she gets pummeled in the face with an icy beverage. Even Puck has wiped her face off a couple of times, and he's been acting just about as awkward as a monkey in a clown suit around her ever since he figured out that Quinn and Finn had broken up, his "lil' Puck" being the reason behind it.
So that's why it's shocking to both girls when Finn comes out in his sky blue-and-brown beanie and royal purple sweater, which is most certainly not enough to combat the cold. He slides onto the bench of the table and wipes the smiles off both girls' faces. With a slight twitch of her nose in disgust, Quinn's eyes drift between her ex-boyfriend's horrible ability to match his hat with his shirt and her current girlfriend-type-person's clear blindness to the hideous qualities of argyle, and she wonders why she's predominantly attracted to people with horrible fashion sense. It also occurs to her that she should be more focused on the situation at hand because Finn's mouth is moving, but all she can hear is Rachel's hurried breathing beside her. This is the breathing Rachel does whenever she gets angry, a style of breathing that Quinn knows very well because they've had their fair share of fighting in the past twenty-six days but that was to be expected; people don't just go from near-mortal enemies to almost, sort of girlfriends without a couple of bumps.
"... so that's really why I came over here," Finn is saying while Rachel listens intently and Quinn's head is off in the clouds. She brings it down to earth to hear the important part. "I'm really sorry for acting up like that, Quinn, and that kind of makes me a really big jerk. If it makes you feel any better, I went and punched Puck in the face after football practice. He kind of guessed what happened."
Quinn smirks slightly at this, picturing that useless asshole with blood all over his face and his nose a bit off-center. "It does make me feel a little better."
The hulking boy sitting across from them adjusts nervously in his seat, reverting back to his usual awkward self. "And thanks, Rachel. I mean, I'm kind of thick when it comes to this kind of stuff, but I can see that you guys are really great friends now and you've been helping Quinn out a lot. Puck's not going to be there to do it, and I don't know if I'd be any help, but Rachel seems to know what she's doing."
Finn's words inadvertently push a happy grin onto both girls' faces and Rachel moves to interlace their hands under the table. Quinn tries not to glow too much but it's hard not to feel the warmth under the cold winter sun. "Yeah; she really does." She hesitates, wishing to say something that she's not sure she's ready to voice aloud. It might sound almost horrible to both Finn and Rachel's ears even though it's true and she doesn't want Finn to be offended after he's been so nice, but she can't not tell him. Leaving him in the dark again would be just horribly unfair. "Finn?"
"What?" With his response and him staring right back at her, it's almost as if Rachel's not there anymore. Quinn feels her chest tighten at the sight of Finn acting like she's the only girl in the world again, but it's not enough to make her want him back.
She sighs, head in the hand not clutching tightly to Rachel's own. The singer is baffled by Quinn's sudden change in attitude and senses that she requires support for whatever it is she's about to do. "I should be thanking you, Finn."
"For what?" It's not shocking that Finn's confused by this statement since he tends to be confused about a lot of things. Rachel, who is usually fairly perceptive, has no idea what's going.
"I don't mean to tell you this in a horrible way- or to sound awful, because I'm not like that anymore- but I think breaking up with me was the best thing you could've done for both of us." To say that sentence sounds terrible; Quinn cringes as the words leave her lips and spin through Finn's ears, and Rachel doesn't react because it's not her place to intervene. Her job is to pick up the pieces.
Finn is understandably outraged at this statement but to his credit he keeps his anger in check. "I don't get it."
"We never really clicked, Finn, and don't say you didn't notice that."
A glance is stolen in Rachel's direction by the boy in question, wondering if they should be discussing something so personal in front of a girl who is so uninvolved in it. But then again, he supposes that Rachel really is woven into their lives in an irreversible way and any words they exchange with each other will probably be repeated to her anyway. "OK, so maybe we didn't. But why is that so bad?"
"It's unfair to both of us, don't you think?" Quinn lifts her eyes to stare straight into his puppy dog brown ones. "You and I as a couple... it was expected almost, like we were supposed to be together."
He's still bewildered by this information as though the social hierarchy of high school has escaped him until Quinn pointed it out. "So you're saying you didn't really like me?"
"I really liked the idea of you, Finn. And you are sweet and a great guy, but you're just not for me."
"Didn't we already break up? It sounds like you're doing it again."
"I'm trying to explain to you why it's a good thing we're over."
"You don't have to convince me."
"Maybe I have to convince myself- maybe I need to say it out loud for it to make sense."
Rachel and Finn both listen to her talk in silence because this isn't really for their benefits.
"You are the perfect boy, Finn. You're exactly the type of boy my parents want me to be with and the type of man candy the school excepts to see hanging off my arm in the hallway. You're great for going to the average dating sites and doing the things most couples do. But me... I'm not. I think I only got sucked into this because I love cheerleading, and maybe Coach Sylvester warped me in some way, but this isn't me, Finn. It's just not me." Quinn looks about to cry, and she probably should because she just admitted to herself that the past five years of her life have been a lie. Ever since she went to Sue's Go Big or Go Home Cheerleader Training Camp in sixth grade, Quinn Fabray has been kicked to the curb and a manipulative monster has taken her place. It's time to get back to herself, she thinks, and admitting that is the perfect place to start.
Rachel squeezes her hand harder under the moldy wood of their cold table, nearly bursting with pride at how well Quinn is handling this entire situation. Maybe now they'll finally make some headway in deciding where their relationship is going. Responding politely to this statement throws Finn off and he can't quite do it, so he settles for, "Look, Puck's having a Halloween party tomorrow- not a costume party- at his house and he's letting me invite whoever, so it would be cool if you guys could come..." He trails off awkwardly but the meaning of the gesture is clear and both girls feel as though it would be rude to decline.
"Yeah, we'll definitely be there," Rachel assures him.
"Cool." Finn smiles and stands up from the table, hands in his pocket and an odd looking gracing his eyes. "You know there's room for you at our table inside, if you want. For both of you."
Quinn and Rachel don't even need to have another one of those weird telepathic conversations they've been having all throughout the period (Finn's been watching and not understanding) to know the answer to that question. "We're good out here," Quinn says. "But thanks for asking." He leaves with a little wave and they both watch as he shuffles through the leaves at an agonizingly slow pace until he rips open the glass door, letting it close with just too much force. It is only after they hear that slam of the door that the girls trust their voices again.
In her defense, Quinn desperately wants to ask Rachel the serious questions, to find out what's going with them and to know where it's heading. But she can't because she's already too close to tears from the encounter with Finn. What should be an intense conversation starter turns into, "So what are you going to wear?"
Obviously, Rachel is unprepared for this change in tact. She takes it in stride, however, like she does with everything else in her life. "Wear to what?"
"Puck's party," she replies as though Rachel shouldn't even need to ask that question.
"We have more important things to talk-"
"Not yet." Shivers plague Quinn's extremities and they're not entirely from the cold. "Rachel, I don't want to have to deal with people staring at me. I'm already pregnant for gosh sakes- I don't need to be a lesbian now, too." The words are harsher than intended and Quinn has fallen back into old habits. "I'm sorry. I-"
"It's OK." There are tears shining brightly in Rachel's eyes, but Quinn can tell that her heart is in those words and that she doesn't have anything to worry about. "My dads know, though; they love you and think we're adorable together."
"Really?" Quinn knows that her parents won't support this union, so it's nice to know that she'll have somewhere to run when everything goes to shit the minute she tells them.
The brunette nods vehemently and gently puts her arm around Quinn's slowly growing waist. The touch is careful, practiced, light; there's a test of the newly established boundaries and it seems as though this level is alright, seeing as how the cheerleader leans into her new friend. Rachel doesn't understand how gripping another girl's waist could scream anything but "lesbian," though she'll keep her mouth shut because she likes the feeling of Quinn's slim waist under her dainty fingers and the cheerleader's cotton sweatshirt that's riding up just a little bit.
Maybe someday, Rachel thinks as the sun sprays its blinding rays into her squinting brown eyes, Quinn will understand that it doesn't matter what other people think. And judging by what she said to Finn, she's getting there.