Author: Cha-Cha
Disclaimer: As much as I wish to own these characters, I do not. This isn't meant to break any copyrights set upon it; it is only a fanfict.
WARNING: Slash between Trip and Malcolm and I have a very strange sense of humour!
A/N: I have added some more to this fic. and changed the spelling error I made of Phloxes name. Please do review again.
Trips Quarters…
His small room was comfortable, in a grey sort of way. In the corner was a bed and over the other side,
a small grey desk with a few shelves.
The chief engineer slumped down on his soft bed and stared at the small grey room, his home on board
the Enterprise. The doorbell rang. Trip sat up expectantly.
'Enter' He called out.
The door opened revealing Malcolm Reed, the armoury officer.
'Hey Malcolm' Trip called to him in a cheery voice. Closing the door behind him, Malcolm entered
and sat down next to Trip. A huge grin was covering his face.
'My quarters are one of the ones being evacuated tomorrow, I have to find room mate for the time
we are in this expanse.' Malcolm said, barely containing his glee.
'Ooooh, let me guess, your moving in here. You don't think that will make the rumours worse?' Trip
asked, though he too was overjoyed at the news. 'Come here.' Trip motioned for Malcolm to come
closer.
'Well, you know what they say, no smoke without flames.' Malcolm replied and leant over to receive a
kiss from Trip. He got it. As their lips touched, a burst of energy struck the ship, causing chaos to occur
all over the ship.
'Whoa, what was that?' Trip asked puzzled. He looked at his lover and gasped. He was looking at
himself!
'Oh my God! We've swapped bodies!' Malcolm cried, not quite believing it.
Sickbay…The two men sat on opposite bio beds waiting for Phloxes results.
'You'll be pleased to know, you are both in perfect health. Malcolm, you need to have your injection
soon though, your levels are getting rather low. As for the swapping of bodies, I have no explanation.
What did you say you were doing when this happened?' Phlox asked.
The two men looked at each other, too embarrassed to say. So far they had managed to keep their
relationship a secret from anyone else on board.
Trip finally spoke 'Will here be patient Doctor confidentiality?' Phlox nodded. 'We were kissing' Trip
sighed, then continued. 'I don't know what happened. We kissed, there was a burst of energy and
suddenly we had swapped bodies.'
'Hmmm, well, as they say, no smoke without flames. Anyway, the Captain will need to know about
this predicament. Obviously you cannot go back to work until this is sorted.' Phlox deduced.
'And what we just told you?' Malcolm asked.
Phlox shrugged his shoulders and said 'each crewmember is entitled to his or her own preference.
If you want people to know, it is up to you. If not, I won't tell anyone.'
At this moment, another burst of light flashed, once more causing chaos in corridors.
The sickbay doors opened revealing Captain Archer closely followed by Porthos.
'And what can I do for you two?' Phlox asked.
'I believe my master and I have switched bodies.' Archer's body replied.
The three men stared in disbelief.
'Well I'm glad it's not just us' Trip replied from Malcolm's body. They then exploded into laughter,
only stopped by a sharp bark from Porthos/Archer.
'Well I'm not quite sure what to make of this predicament. I wonder how many others have switched bodies?'
Phlox thought out loud, guiding the two victims to the other side of the infirmary.
No sooner had he finished speaking, Mayweather and Hoshi appeared.
Before they could open their mouths, Malcolm spoke. 'Let me guess, you switched bodies.'
The two of them nodded. 'You too then.' Hoshi replied from Mayweathers body.
'At least you lot seem to be okay, I feel awful.' Mayweather let out another groan, and sat on the empty bio
bed that Malcolm had been sitting on a few moments earlier. He now sat next to Trip.
'Oh don't worry about it. You'll feel better in a few days.' Hoshi replied smiling
as she sat down beside him.
'Huh?' Mayweather looked at her blankly, not quite understanding what she was implying.
'Ever heard of that thing that comes once a month? I really must thank you, I've been feeling sick for quite a
while now. This feels really good.'
The three men blushed as they finally understood.
'Hey, you get to be the first man to have PMS, you should be proud' Hoshi teasingly told him.
Her response was a fierce glare from Mayweather.
'Malcolm, or rather Trip, its time.' Phlox handed Trip a rather large needle. Trip looked at him blankly.
'It's for my allergies, so I can eat certain foods.' Malcolm explained.
'Oh, so where do I stick it?'
Malcolm groaned with exasperation. Taking the needle from Phlox, he rolled up his body's sleeves
to the elbow. He quickly tested the needle was working, then jabbed it into Trips arm.
'OWWWW' He cried out. 'You couldn't have done it gently. That does hurt you know'
'Since I do it every day, I do know that' Malcolm retorted, rolling his eyes. He gave back the needle to Phlox, and
watched as Trip put a piece of wadding onto the area he had stuck the needle.
'Baby' he muttered. Trip just glared.
'I think I have found out what is causing these bursts of energy. This expanse is alive. The bursts of energy
is the being breathing, as far as I can tell.' Phlox told the 4 of them as he crossed sickbay towards them.
'So why have we switched bodies?' Hoshi asked.
'Maybe it's having some fun. We did fly into it, so maybe it decided to have some fun with us until we fly out again.'
Trip hypothesised.
'Yeah, well funs over, switch us back.' Mayweather shouted out, not really expecting anything to happen.
To everyone's surprise, a noise sounding awfully like a sigh sounded out. A flash of light followed it.
'Hey, I'm back in my own body again' Trip cried, overjoyed.
'Me too!' the other three cried out simultaneously.
'Hmmmm, very interesting' Phlox remarked, as the four crew members dashed out of sick bay, determined to get out as soon
as possible.
'Are they gone?' Archer asked from behind the blue curtain.
'Yes Captain.' Phlox walked over to the cubical and opened the curtain, to find Archer and Porthos sitting beside him on the bio
bed.
'I think the expanse does have a sense of humour, and a very sick one at that. It didn't turn us back. Only our voices.'
A sound that resembled a giggle was heard only in the sick bay and another flash blinded them.
'Phew. I'm back in my own body.' Archer exclaimed as soon as his vision returned.
"Easy for you to say, I quite enjoyed being human for that short interval. Oh well, till next time" Porthos thought. He let out a
sigh and waited to be carried back to his shared quarters.
* * *
'So Trip, how was it being me?' Malcolm asked as the two of them lay in bed.
'Interesting, but painful.' Trip replied.
* * *
'So, how did you enjoy being male?' Mayweather asked Hoshi.
'For that day, bliss, but I think overall, I prefer e to be female. What about you. Going to tell any more PMS jokes?'
Mayweather violently shook his head.' After experiencing that, no way.' The two of them stopped outside of Hoshi's quarters.
'About the joke I made earlier which caused the argument and subsequent body switch, I really am sorry. I never should have made
it.'
'Oh, its alright. You won't make that mistake again!' Hoshi entered her quarters smiling. The doors closed behind her and the nausea
came swiftly back. 'Oh well, it was nice while it lasted' she muttered to herself.
The End