Summary: Chika is frustrated out of his mind of how much he is infatuated with Shito.
To the point where it drives in him to confession.ChikaxShito Oneshot.
Yaoi
Rated: M

I, Chika Akatsuki, have many secrets I like to hide. The fact that someone like me can conceal them so well is questionable on many levels. I hate that person with a passion; so much that he is the only person that keeps me going. Hate? Sorry, I meant, head over heels, completely in love with. Shito Tachibana, a self center, shallow, piece of shit that totally has me wrapped around his finger, is the one I'm talking about. I never show it, but it's true. My excuse is that he's useful, and good to partner up with. Wow, my ass. He doesn't speak much, but his mysterious aura keeps me interested; completely fascinated. He's so mysterious that no one knows anything about him. All I know is that we both have one goal, and that is to hang onto life. That's all we wish for. We have a debt to pay, a debt to getting our lives back. The debt we promised to pay together, is taking its slow time to be paid for. I never thought what we would do after our loan is paid. Would we drift apart? Even though I've been scathing him, showing my irritation before his cold alterations he shoves in my face, at times I beg just to hold him." We may be dead, but we still feel pain." The words he spoke to that Gopher, Michiru, was not just physical pain. Just because we are undead, doesn't mean we have no feelings at all. We aren't puppets, nor are we monsters. The pain we feel is indescribable.

Being so deep into my thoughts, I was startled by a soft touch to my shoulder. I looked up to stare at him . . . looking down with his gorgeous mauve eyes. "What?" I grunted at him with my usual angered look. He sighed and took his hand off my shoulder and walked away.

"You seemed out of it." His low voice was almost unreachable. I stood from my chair and looked at him, staring out the window. I couldn't help but stare, his eyes fluttered at every movement from out the window. He was staring at every inch of snow that had rained over the area. Gazing at him so closely, I noticed he looked more pale then usual. His head then rested on the side of the wall, his eyes still facing the window at the glowing white piece of art. To me, staring at him like this, it seemed like he was the piece of art. He's been acting strange since he got back from who knows where.

"What's wrong with you?" I questioned him in a concerned tone. He didn't look at me. He barely flinched at my question. I've never seen Shito try to show off his weakness. He always was too prideful. I guess it was normal to be in such a way. Though, he seemed to shine it off a lot more then others.

"I feel just a bit dizzy." He mumbled under his breath. Then I saw him about to leave his vision from the window. He was going to probably leave the room. I hadn't really wanted that so I hurriedly stepped over and hugged him from behind, feeling him tense up from my sudden movements. The fact that I act like I despise him so much, but now I'm hugging him from behind, not letting go because I don't want him to leave my sight must have rather shocked him. "What are you doing, scum?" He scolded at me in a humbled voice.

"Where- where are you going?" I felt my arms tighten around his waist. My face was close to the back of his head. My cheeks smothered his ruffled soft raven hair. He tried to resist me but I held tighter. I heard him moan as my hands caressed his body. I never noticed how sensitive his body was till now.

"Akatsuki, you bastard! Stop- I-" His voice hoarse, my left hand rose to the top of his body as I caressed his cheek. My other hand was softly going downward. His body was so warm. He was so pale. "I don't feel well . . . stop." His mumble was rough. I couldn't help but feel keener on him. He jerked his head back as my right hand stroked in between his thighs. "Akatsuki!" He screamed, I shuddered and stopped. He almost fell forward as I let go. His face was red. He put his hand over his face in shame. I was ashamed of myself. I couldn't stop myself. He placed his other hand on the wall for balance as his upper body leaned forward. He gasped, his hand clamped over his mouth. I went forward to help him. I don't really know if he wanted me to help after that. Though, concerned, I pushed him onto a chair. He gave me a glare from what I was doing. "What the hell has gotten into you?" He questioned angrily with his hoarse voice still in place. I leaned frontward as my face was closer to his. I saw his cheeks turn a flesh of pink.

"Don't speak, you don't feel well." I placed my hands over his tie and started to unfasten it. He was surprised again and put his hands over mine, stopping me from undoing his tie.

"No, stop. What are you doing?" He was uneasy of the fact that I was trying to undo it, almost like I was preparing to strip off his clothes. I looked away.

"I'm undoing your tie, you need air when you aren't well, and it's not good to have your clothes so fastened tightly." I murmured. I continued to loosen his tie and took it off. He was still troubled. I took off his dress coat, tossing it on one of the couches. Then I tried to slightly unbutton his dress shirt. He tried to stop me.

"Its fine, I can do it myself you know." He hissed lightly. I let go and just stepped away. Sitting on the chair in front of the one he was seated in, watching him unbutton it slowly, down to his mid chest. He seemed to sigh agonizingly; I'm guessing his fever was starting to take deeper form. My eyes were glancing toward his exposed skin. I was so flustered from his beauty, I can't believe I was embracing ever ounce of him a moment ago. I felt like I was dying at each glance. He gazed at me with his amethyst eyes. "Why were you . . .?" He mumbled looking away. "You were touching me, like that. Why?" He questioned confusingly.

"What kind of question is that?" My tone of voice was rough and enraged. Wasn't it obvious? Why act so confused. I'm in love with you. Don't you see?! Oh, the things I wanted to blurt out so effusively. I gulped down my words despite the fact that I wanted to burst it out. A deranged look was now staring at me.

"What do you mean what kind of question is that? You know exactly what I mean. Touching me like that, I don't even know what to say to that other then asking you why." His voice was uneasy, eyes closed from his pained headache, and his hand grasping together the pieces of his shirt that were unbuttoned. I was infuriated. I stood up. He looked at me ill at ease and I leaned forward at him. I moved his hand from his shirt and caressed at his exposed skin feeling him tense up. His gasps and moans. He was so apprehensive to my movements. My knee leaned in between his legs. He creaked. "Akatsuki," He flinched as our lips clasped over each others. I gave him a soft kiss, my tongue yearning for his. I unbuttoned his shirt fully and fondled at his skin; his soft creamy skin. I broke the kiss and he stared at me huffing at every amount of breath he could take.

"Want to know why?" I mumbled bringing my hand down to his pants. He breathed heavily. "Because, I love you." I whispered into his ear. Hearing him quiver at my words; shocked, almost like he's never heard those words before. I unzipped his pants. His hands clenched my shirt tried to push me away. He gasped for breath. He gripped onto the back of my shirt as I kissed and pecked his neck. I brought myself closer to him as he bit roughly into my shoulder. My caresses were rougher, and his gasps just made me try to reach farther. I was so flustered into the rhythm of his voice. His bites hurt, digging his teeth so deep I could feel his saliva slightly pour from muffling his moans.

"Akatsuki!" He whined as I felt him tighten his grip of his teeth and fingertips tighten against my shoulder, shaking from his flustered being, his liquids pouring. I satisfied him enough; I knew he couldn't take it anymore considering he felt ill. His breathing was overlapping. His head hanging low. His hands falling down from my shoulders, hearing him pant.

"Shito." I used my left hand to ruffle his hair. He couldn't look at me in the eye. I felt wronged for doing what I had. My feelings were always bottled. I hugged him around his neck as his head was now dug into my chest. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." I mumbled. He was dazed. Emotionless as I held him. He was shocked out of his mind. I didn't hear him speak. He let me hold him as long as I wanted to. Though, he was lying stiff and emotionless, and that caused my heart to shatter. Did I ruin everything? Just from showing him my feelings toward him. "Shito," I felt as though I would begin to cry. I let him go and looked at him just leaning over; his head down, his arms were like rags. His was hair covering his eyes. I took his dress coat and put it over his shoulders. I gave him my last kiss and left the room in silence.

I was coming home from my part time job at the connivance store. Though no connivance in my case, I was still depressed about the other day and ashamed of myself for what I did to Shito. I completely molested him. I slapped my forehead. I wouldn't know how to face him. It was so cold out. Then I wondered if he was okay, that fever he had. I gripped my hands across my arms of my black trench coat and rubbed my arms for more warmth. As I was walking, I spotted someone from afar sitting on a bench. Wearing a long black trench coat like myself, and was wearing a indigo scarf around their neck and covered over part of their head. Again, to none of my connivance, I noticed that person was none other than Shito. Cursing under my breath as I saw him, he seemed to notice me as well. Why the hell was such a beautiful person, covering almost half of their face with a scarf. He stared at me with his lilac eyes and looked away slightly. I walked up and smiled at him. "Can I sit here?" He nodded. I sat beside him, his shoulders raised and his head lowered faintly as he looked down. I sighed, feeling like an idiot. I glanced at him and then looked back. It was quiet until he then spoke.

"I was waiting for you to come back." He replied through the silence.

"Why?" I asked him with a discreet voice. He moved the azure scarf off the top of his head and looked at me straight in the eyes.

"I wanted to tell you something." He moved his torso to face me and leaned closer to me with his arms in front of him. My face began to turn red as his gorgeous gaze grazed upon mine. He kissed me deeply. I could hear myself moan from it. Moving closer, he placed his hand on the side of my face. I was so absorbed in the kiss I felt dazed and out of place. When the kiss was broken I stared at his mauve eyes open. "I love you too." He huffed under his breath. He placed his hand over mine. "I won't leave you, we promised to pay this loan right? Together?" I couldn't help but smile and put my arms around his neck and one around his waist.

"Shito, then why were you so. . ."

"I didn't know how to respond. All this time I thought you hated me, I could only respond back with hatred in my words. I never realized you'd be holding back the same feelings." His voice was dry, shy and less like Shito usually spoke.

"This is bad to say but I'm a bit glad we got into this mess together," I spoke slowly. He looked to the side as I was brought our faces closer together, our foreheads touched with my hand on his face and my arm around his neck.

"We'll grasp onto life – Together." The kiss we shared was our own contract, to stay together to the very end. This is Shito's and my own will.