A/N: I think you can thank a precious girl by the name of Iliana on Tumblr for inspiring me to write this for her! Also, the song 'What We Will Never Know' by Innerpartysystem was really nice to me when writing this, haha.
I hope you guys enjoy this one-shot and please REVIEW and tell me what you thought!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Degrassi. I'm sure FF got the memo - especially after writing this fifty times ;)
His eyes drift, the air heavy around him. He reminds himself to breathe in as her face flashes in his mind. She's beautiful, that's a fact, not an opinion. He knows this because he's the one that has the pleasure of holding her at night, of kissing her, of taking her away from reality.
She's his sunlight and he wanted to keep her that way. She's a luminescent light in his dark world filled with agony, despair, hatred. She's the fire that makes his walls melt. She makes him less cold when her laugh slips pass her lips. Eyes blue like the ocean reflect something colored red because she's the fire in his heart.
Her name is Clare Edwards and she's his second chance at loving once more. The name – Clare Edwards. It's angelic when they speak of her name. It's a smooth sound. It's a happy tune. He enjoys her name.
He enjoys her presence and her lightness.
Eli Goldsworthy is his name and he's happy around her. It's nice around her, he thinks, when they kiss and hold on to each other.
And when she yells at him, when she leaves him, when they're done – they're over, that's it! He doesn't like her presence anymore.
She disgusts him. She's still a fire – but a cold one. And he builds his walls back again and this time her fire can't melt them. She has nothing on him. She's nothing to him.
The fire left.
He admits he's alone.
It's sad, yes, but he admits it. She's no longer there to make him feel better. Make him feel alive.
The sun has left and the clouds are in front, blocking his only light. He's in a dark world now, and he's depressed. Taking pills. Going crazy. Turning into a monster that he is.
Jake Martin is the name of the man that blocks his sunshine. Eli wants her back but Jake Martin is blocking him.
The sun chose the clouds instead of him and it hurts him when they kiss. When they hug, when she gives Jake Martin his laugh. Eli's laugh. It was his first and no one else's. She promised she would be his, yet, although she promised, although she's a Saint, she lied.
She lied, she lied, she lied!
Eli Goldsworthy feels disgusted at himself. He's comparing his sunshine to the moon. He's degrading her. He's dirtying her name.
Eli Goldsworthy is his name. He's alone. He lost her.
He tries. He'll blow away the clouds and get back his sunshine, he assures.
His footsteps sound the same as hers. It's cold; she's shaking and holding a piece of candy in her hand. Her hair is disheveled. His face is hurt and hers is, too.
He asks her, "Do you think we can continue where we left off?"
The clouds break, the sun shines through them and hits his face. She smiles and laughs his laugh.
Clare Edwards was his sun. Clare Edwards hid behind Jake Martin. Clare Edwards found his way to him.
Clare Edwards is her name; she'll always be his.