This is just a little something that came to my head as I was watching Dane Cook. During the whole thing, I could just imagine Naruto and Sasuke's relationship being just like he was talking about.
Dane Cook owns the dialogue concept for it''s changed up a bit, but it's based off of his work. Masashi Kishimoto, as well all know, owns Naruto and Sasuke and I'm just borrowing them because I have no life. =]
So this is set in like the Naruto world you know ninjas, missons, hokages and all. But it's like another version of it so to say...? And for the record, in this nobody's parents are dead. Everybody is alive and well.
Now on to the randomness.
It was a normal day in the Village Hidden in the Leaves. The people of Konoha were going about their day as usual. Two people in particular walked down the street. But these were no ordinary people. These two were the well known Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha. The village's most well known couple. Though if someone from outside the village or possible someone who didn't know the two very well would think they hated each other.
You may ask why people would think that way. Well the two don't ask like your 'normal couple'. Instead of being all sweet and telling each other how much they loved one another, you would probably hear them shout "I HATE YOU!" at the top of their lungs which would then evolve onto and all out fist fight and possibly a trip to the hospital. Let's just say the couple is on a first name bases with most of the doctors.
Naruto and Sasuke were walking down the street together hand in hand for they were having a good day, a good day meaning they weren't trying to kill each other, and heading to the grocery store. Upon walking in, Sasuke grabs a cart and begins to push it towards the things they needed in the apartment they shared.
The aisle they were going down housed coffee, which Sasuke picked up a pack off, tuna fish, of which Naruto picked up four cans with a grin at the raven who rolled his eyes with a small smile. The smile was because they had recently adopted a small kitten and the blonde felt the need to spoil it because it was 'their child' as he called it. As they were walking, they passed the one thing the blonde could NOT get enough of. Can anybody guess what that was?
That's right it was ramen.
The blonde stopped at the instant noodles section and looked at the wide selection. It was then he could not remember if there was any ramen at the apartment. Even though ramen adored the food, he didn't want to buy so much of it that he didn't have enough money for the real thing, so he decided to question Sasuke on the subject.
"Hey Sasuke?"
"Hm?" the raven said not pausing in his browsing of the different teas there were.
"Do we have any ramen at the house?" At the question, Sasuke rolled his eyes. He picked up his choice of tea, put it the cart and began to walk away. Naruto stared at the raven, jaw dropped. The blonde couldn't believe that Sasuke just walked away. No, actually Naruto could believe it which made him all the angrier.
Walking to his boyfriend, he spun him around, "I asked you if we have ramen at the house." When the raven just glared at him, arms crossed, Naruto put his hands on his shoulders angrily, "Do we or do we not have ramen?" he then thought about the pervious time he had questioned about his favorite food and grew even angrier, if that was possible. "You said we did last time. I looked in the cabinet and I didn't see any damn ramen!"
"I don't even like ramen. I hate the stuff." Sasuke stated. He then smirked at how made his boyfriend was and decided to see how far he could push the blonde. The raven would admit it out loud, but he loved making the dobe mad for when he was mad, he turned into well a dobe. "I want to puke every time I look at ramen."
"You know what?" Naruto said getting louder by the second, "I don't give a shit about you puking. You can puke your guts out for all I care. I just want ramen in the house. Stat. Pronto. Tonight. I don't-" he stopped himself as if a thought had made its self known in his head, "Look. I will break your neck and pour ramen all over your body then pray to the GODS OF RAMEN to burn your soul in a ramen like hell. Now get the ramen!"
Sasuke simply stared at the blond blinking. Never would he have thought that the blonde could come up with something so... stupid. Seriously, did the blonde have a brain? No, Sasuke didn't think he did; especially when Naruto was angry. It seemed whenever his boyfriend was angry, whatever brain he did have in his head completely shut down. But before he could retort, he was interrupted by a man walking by.
The man leaned towards Naruto and said, "Dude. I know what you're saying about the ramen." Pointing at Sasuke he said, "Tell this twot to get ramen."
"SEE!" Naruto shouted pointing at the man. "Get the ramen uh- what was it you said?" he glanced at the man.
"Twot." The man answered patting the blonde on his shoulder.
"Yeah." Naruto nodded saying it more to himself then anything, "Get the ramen twot!" he shouted at Sasuke.
The man seemed to have a satisfied smirk on his face as he walked away that made Sasuke's own anger begin to boil. "You know what?" he asked, "Get the damn ramen!" he shouted throwing his hands in the air, "I don't care." With that Sasuke took the cart and began to stomp away. He stopped and turned around, "Just so you know. You're sleeping on the couch tonight."
Naruto's eyes widen as he watched the raven walk away. "S-S-Ssasuke….? Can't we talk about this?" he wondered. Picking up the thing of ramen, he ran off to try and calm the raven down and possible talk him out of the last statement he made.
The couple, after a mini fist fight in the middle of the store, had made up in some form or fashion. They were now at home. Sasuke was on the couch contently watching a new episode of his favorite show Leverage. He munched on his tub of Pringles he had picked up at the store shortly after their fist fight and wondered where his boyfriend was. The blonde not too long ago disappeared in to the bed room.
"Sasuke!" Naruto called.
"What Naruto?" the raven called back.
The blonde walked out of the bed room, "Where's Underworld? Or V for Vendetta for that matter. Ever since you cleaned our room, I haven't been able to find anything."
"Have you looked where it should be? You know in the movie cabinet." Sasuke asked rolling his eyes.
"Of course I looked in the cabinet! It's not there! All of them are all over everywhere! Why don't you do something productive like put the movies in order or something?"
"If you want to find the DVD that much, why don't you put them in order yourself?" Sasuke asked, "Oh wait, I doubt you actually could."
Naruto narrowed his eyes, "And what does that mean?"
"Oh forget it, I'm not going to argue with you because it's pointless." Sasuke said throwing his hands up and standing from the couch. He picked up his thing of Pringles and his cup and took them to the kitchen. Sitting the chips on the counter, he opened the fridge to pour himself another cup of Pepsi and walked back to the living room.
"What do you mean it's pointless? Oh you mean because you're going to lose the argument like you always do?" Naruto asked as Sasuke walked back into the living room. Sure he was probably wrong and they were probably going to end up in a fight, but hey why not?
"You know what?" the raven asked slamming his drink down on the end table by the couch, of course not spilling a drop of it, and turned back to the blonde, his left leg sticking out to the side and his arms crossed, his mouth opened to say something. But he stopped what he was about to say and instead said, "You're absolutely right."
"I am?" Naruto asked a bit taken back. "I mean yeah! I AM right."
"Exactly. I wouldn't even know because you're the almighty king of right." Sasuke said holding his hands up, "Because everybody else is wrong and you're right. I mean I could be wrong about this but you know."
"OH! So you're trying to do that reverse psychology shit?" Naruto asked. The raven stood with one leg out, and an arm across his chest and the other arm propped of that one with his hand over his face. His thumb was under his chin and the rest of his fingers were in front of his face, he moved them to open his mouth and say something, but Naruto interrupted him, "What? What're you going to say?"
Sasuke waved his hand, "No, no you go ahead with whatever you're going to say. You know because you're always right." He said rolling his eyes and tucking his hand under his chin.
"I know I'm always right!" the blonde shouted.
"Forget it." Sasuke muttered turning around. He crossed his arms over his chest and took about possibly four steps before glancing over his shoulder and muttering once again, "You are so stupid. Just like you're father." With that he walked away disappearing to some unknown part of the house.
Naruto busted out laughing, "What? What does that mean?" he scoffed, "You know what, whatever Sasuke!" he shouted walking back to the bedroom.
-x-
About an hour passed and Naruto was still in their bedroom just pacing and muttering to himself, "What did he mean?" he let out a laugh, "Stupid just like my father." He mocked as he continued to pace. Then the words actually began to process in his brain. "MY FATHER IS A SMART GUY!" he shouted. Now he decided to look for Sasuke, wanting to give his boyfriend a piece of his mind. Walking to the door, he opened it, "That is the fucking closet." Slamming the door, he opened the other door, "That's that bathroom!"Finally he opened the door to his room and began to hunt the raven down.
When he found him, he was sitting in the kitchen at the breakfast bar; a smirk on his face and a thing of ramen in front of him. Naruto then realized his mistake. When he was looking for Sasuke, that's all he focused on. He didn't think of what he wanted to say and even if he didn't know what he was going to say, he had done forgot it. So what does he do, well what Naruto always does:
Be Naruto.
"Oh so you're going to sit there eating noodles?" he shouted, "Eating your damn noodles. What happen to you puking, huh? Forget that, who bought those? Huh?" Naruto didn't give the raven a chance to answer for he answered for him, "I bought those noodles. That's right. And do you know why?"
"Because you're an idiot?" Sasuke wondered out loud, rolling his eyes.
"NO! Because when I was little my dad would take me to Ichiraku's and buy me all the ramen I wanted! And when we were at the store he would buy be like a shit load for those right there!" he shouted pointing at the cup of ramen in the raven's hand, "And do you know why? BECAUSE HE WAS A SMART GUY THAT'S WHY!"
"Your dad? Smart?" Sasuke questioned sitting his ramen down.
"Yeah! Why do you think he became hokage? They don't just put a stupid person as hokage!"
"You're next in line aren't you?" the raven asked hand on his hip.
Naruto seemed to slightly explode inside. "UGH!" he yelled throwing his hands up. "Guess what?"
Letting out a sigh, Sasuke asked, "What?"
"MY ramen now!" he said snatching the cup of ramen with the chopsticks in it and taking off.
"Hey! What the hell?" Sasuke shouted, "That's my ramen!" the raven then took off after the blonde. He found him sitting on the couch, mouth full of noodles.
"Not anymore." He said looking over the back of the couch, mouth still full.
"Give me my ramen back."
Naruto swallowed his ramen, "Nope." He grinned.
Sasuke narrowed his eyes and launched himself at the blonde, aiming to steal the ramen back. After a good twenty minute struggle, the two had ended up in the floor of the hallway; Naruto straddling the raven as he held the cup of ramen triumphantly and grinning, while Sasuke glared arms crossed over his chest.
"How did this even happen?" Sasuke wondered.
"I don't know, but I'm glad it did." He said with a grin still on his face as he lowered it closer to Sasuke's own, "Do you still want the ramen?"
The raven scoffed, "No it's cold. I was only eating it to make you angrier."
"You sneaky, scheming, underhanded bastard." Naruto said, "I hate you."
"I hate you too idiot." Sasuke said with a smirk.
"I think we should head to the bedroom." Naruto said with a smirk of his own.
"I think not." The raven said pushing the blonde off him and standing up. "I'm going to finish watching Leverage." He walked back to the living room and sat on the couch. Naruto stared at him with a defeated puppy dog look. His blue eyes were wide and his bottom lip poked out just a little bit. Rolling his eyes and letting out a sigh Sasuke waved him over, "Come here you."
Grinning, Naruto jumped over the back of the couch and opened his arms. Shaking his head with a small smile Sasuke leaned into his arms. The blonde picked up the remote off the end table and pressed play, the show playing from where it had been stopped. The sat in silence for a while watching the TV until Naruto broke it.
"You know what?"
"What?" Sasuke asked.
"I want to be like Nate and them. I wanna do a heist." Naruto stated.
Letting out a defeated sigh, Sasuke ignored the blonde and watched TV muttering, "Stupid blonde…"
There may be more added on to it, but for now I'm listing it as finished. If I get inspiration for something else, then I'll add it to this.
As always, reviews make me happy. If you're gonna be angry in your review please me angry... nicely? If that's possible. For I am doing this for fun and to write more. Just saying..
Now I'm on to write up more of Only One... I have no idea where that's going...I'll figure it out. Laterz! *two finger salute*