I settle my head against the pillow, its uncomfortable cushion preventing the sweet relief of sleep. I reach over instinctively, daring to pray that I was wrong, that he was next to me. Where he was supposed to be. But he wasn't. I didn't have his muscular chest to fall asleep on, his heartbeat the most soothing lullaby. His space was empty, a small dent where he should be. I am alone. I thought I would never be alone again. He promised to always be there for me. Always be by my side.
Something has pulled him away from me. Something stronger than love. I used to think nothing was stronger than love. I was naïve, daring to hope, daring to have faith in something that was supposed to conquer else. I put my absolute trust in it, and then it let me fall. Love didn't save my husband. I lost my trust in it.
Then he came around. Slowly, I rebuilt my trust. My faith in love. He showed me that it really was the strongest thing in the world. I fell in love. Deeper, stronger, harder than I had ever fallen. He was my soul mate. I knew it from the deepest depths of my core. My wedding day was the happiest day of my life.
And thing were going along so wonderfully. Him and I, I and him. Two people, crazy about each other, nothing wrong. Then the case came around. And Dubola died. Something went wrong. He hasn't been the same. Distant, somewhere far away. Troubled. I can't get through to him. He's lying to me. And I don't know why.
I try to get him to talk to me. Doesn't he know he can trust me? Doesn't he know that I love him, unconditionally, forever? I also try to discover what is really bothering him. I can't figure it out. I sense pain, disappointment, and perhaps…guilt? Why would he be feeling guilty? He has to know it isn't his fault! We made that decision. Together. We made that decision. He knows that…doesn't he?
Please review! Might turn into a two-shot…maybe…it depends on the feedback I get. So, please, please, please review!!!!!!!