=Superficial Mind Lint=
Disclaimer ~ you don't really expect this fic to make any sense do ya? You are? Oh C-
Rubber Duki do not and will never own the X-men characters.
*****
It was a bright summer day. . . the week before yesterday. Today it's gray and blahish, and it had nothing to do with Storm's temperate to temperfilled mood swings. . . no really. But seeing how the weather holds no significance to this story, let's change the subject.
Inside the Xavier Institute for Gifted Youngsters (yeah right), coffee was brewing. Not the rubbish low-caffeine type. Nope. This was the good stuff. Taken from the feces of a feline animal that roams the other side of the world. The cat only eats the ripest coffee beans, which it doesn't digest fully. As it passes down the cat's intestines, the beans acquire a special taste which humans seemed to love.
Too much information? Yeah, I thought so.
Anyways, the coffee was expensive stuff considering it came out of some cat's bottom.
"Thank you very much for ruining our high calorie, high sugar breakfast." Several young mutants stated as they entered the dining room. . . Even though they couldn't have possibly heard the narration. . . and therefore cannot direct the comment at anyone in particular. . . and why were they so health conscious?
"Hello? Can you like stop talking like we're not here?"
Ok. . . odd. . .
"Yeah that's right. We can hear you. What's with the speech about coffee?"
Ahhh! There's the problem. I forgot to turn on the 'Stop narration from reaching characters because otherwise you'll hear a lot of crack pot stuff from the said characters about how stupid/crazy the author is for sending in all the moronic ideas and also stir up paranoia' machine. *Flicks on machine, a.k.a. Bloody piece of low budget junk*
Is has come to my attention that I'd just been blabbing for the past coupla paragraphs. So let's proceed with the story.
Professor Xavier sipped his coffee, trying to push down the earlier comment about the beans' origins. His attempts however, were futile. And proceeded to throw up in the nearest toilet, cursing the author's incompetence and bad hairstyle.
Breakfast over at the young mutant's table on the other hand, went on like normal.
"Pass the salt please."
"Why do you need salt?"
"To sprinkle over my cereal, now pass the salt."
"Who sprinkles salt on cereal?"
"I do. Now pass the salt!"
"Are you sure you don't want sugar?"
"NO! JUST PASS THE FRIGGING SALT!"
"You're eating fruit loops. Salt would taste- "
"Fine, I'll get my own salt." And with that, Jean used her telekinesis to bring the salt to her.
Over at the other side of the breakfast table, they talked about ordinary everyday things.
"- And she was like-"
"You know what Kitty?" Jamie suddenly spoke up.
"What Jamie?"
"Did you know, if you stop saying 'like', 'so' and 'totally' on regular and unnecessary intervals, you can decrease your necessary speech time by up to 20%. If you use all that spare time, you can utilize it to up your character development within the story by up to 18%."
"Really? Then how would I do on the ratings?"
"Hey, who knows. You might end up with as much character development as Scott. . ."
And in a bathroom upstairs, Rogue was preparing for her day. Staring into the mirror, she mentally plotted out her daily schedule.
'More eyeliner?' she thought to herself 'Why not. Gotta look gothy for the fans.' She took out a palm pilot and called up the calendar. 'Let's see what Ah got planned for today. . .
9:36am ~ Have a 'coincidental' meeting with Gambit (To keep all the Romy fans satisfied) but abruptly end the conversation with an argument (keep the fans in suspense, that's the key to character popularity).
Also, (10:15am) walk past the Brotherhood house and 'incidentally' bump into Pietro. Insult him as he helps me up. (That should keep the Rietro fans off m'ah back for now).
10:45am ~ Back at the institute. Steal a glance at Scott (that should do for now to shut up the Scogue fans).
3:42pm ~ Go off somewhere alone and 'inadvertently' let out some crap about m'ah troubled past.'
Rogue looked at her plans and sighed. It ain't easy being in to center of a huge fan focus. But someone's gotta do it. . .
~~~~~~~
Meanwhile, having finished her salty fruit loops. Jean crept towards the garage. The theme song of 'Mission Impossible' was playing in the background (I don't know why, but Bobby loved to play that song over and over again on the stereo). Jean winced as she heard the anguish screams of Bobby as the other teenagers tried to get past him to turn the music off. Jean's immediate reaction was to act as a mediator and solve the dispute. But she was almost at the garage and. . .
"Hey Red, whatcha doing there?" Logan asked when he saw her through the open garage door. Jean was so surprised that she fell over, butt first. Even though it wasn't a big surprise. . . and she was standing perfectly fine. Oh heck, maybe she was just clumsy.
"Rubbing my sore ass. What does it look like?" Jean replied testily as she rubbed her sore ass.
"No, I meant what are you doing with that body bag."
Jean looked at the large, lumpy bag she was dragging behind her "What about the bag? Can't a girl make a short road trip with a bag suspiciously in the shape of a body?"
Wolverine shrugged "I don't see why not. . ."
Jean frowned "Do you have a problem with that?"
"I just said why not- "
" Because if you try to stop me, bad things will happen. Most likely to you."
Logan was confused at the sudden aggressiveness in Jean's behavior "I wasn't about to stop you. I don't see anything wrong - "
"That's it! I told you not to get in my way!" And with that, Jean pinned Logan against a wall with her powers.
She shoved the bag into the X-van and drove off.
The effects of Jean's telekinesis wore off as soon as she drove through the gates. Logan dropped suddenly to the floor, wondering if it was national 'Pick on Wolverine' day. He'd already been driven to the garage by Bobby's continuous playing of action movies theme songs, and now this.
"Hi Wolverine, what're you doing?" Scott asked in a perfectly cheerful voice, along with his perfectly cleaned and iron shirt, his perfect hair and a perfectly written 'Kick Me' sign taped to his back. (Written by a not- so-perfect teenager within the institute).
"I'm rubbing my sore ass. What does it look like?" Wolverine replied, mimicking Jean's actions just a couple of minutes before.
"Right. . . I was just wondering, have you seen Jean?"
"Yeah, just then. She went off for a drive. Didn't seem too happy."
Scott looked thoughtful "That's the sixth time in the past two weeks. Where does she go?"
"Was that a rhetorical question?"
"It is if you don't know the answer."
"And I don't know the answer. . ."
"So it must be rhetorical."
"Right."
~~~~~~~~
So where DOES Jean go you ask? Ok, so you didn't ask. Actually I have no way of knowing if you did ask, so I really don't know whether or not. . .
Fine, let's just be hypothetical and say that you DID ask where Jean goes. So I'll tell you (whether you like it or not).
It'd all started around two weeks ago (ok, I realize this doesn't explain where Jean goes . . . yet). Jean saw something interesting while in a food fight with the Acolytes. While cursing that she didn't take up the opportunity to leave when she had a chance, she saw something that was truly amazing. . . Magneto was bending a stainless steel spoon.
After getting all the whipped cream off her hair that day, Jean began to contemplate the things in life. The shoe sale next week, school finales coming up, submitting an article to a teen magazine about how to get whipped cream out of hair. . . yep, as all of you know, Jean was a very deep person.
But all that has nothing to do with her little trips, so I'll get to the point.
After finishing her breakfast the next day, she began to wonder if she too, could bend a spoon (don't ask me why, because I don't know). After destroying about thirty odd spoons, she felt a need for a greater challenge. So she picked up the phone and dialed the Acolytes' HQ.
The phone call went a little something like this:
Magneto ~ "Hello? Acolytes HQ. How may we cause you major pain and destruction?"
Jean ~ "Is that Magneto?"
Mags ~ "Yes. And you are . . .?"
Jean ~ "Jean Grey."
Mags ~ "And you're calling because. . ."
Jean ~ "I'd like to challenge you to a spoon bending competition."
Mags ~ "Hmmm. Depends, plastic or metal."
Jean ~ "Standard *insert brand name here* metal spoons."
Mags ~ *pause* "Deal."
So that's where Jean's been going. So far she's lost all the various spoon bending games, but she was determined (and a sore loser) and she had something up her sleeve that would surely blow Magneto away. . .
*****
Yep, the whole thing was pointless, plotless, and random mind lint scraped from deep within the swirling vortex that is my brain.
But if you'd like, I could write more *hint hint*
-Rubber Duki
Disclaimer ~ you don't really expect this fic to make any sense do ya? You are? Oh C-
Rubber Duki do not and will never own the X-men characters.
*****
It was a bright summer day. . . the week before yesterday. Today it's gray and blahish, and it had nothing to do with Storm's temperate to temperfilled mood swings. . . no really. But seeing how the weather holds no significance to this story, let's change the subject.
Inside the Xavier Institute for Gifted Youngsters (yeah right), coffee was brewing. Not the rubbish low-caffeine type. Nope. This was the good stuff. Taken from the feces of a feline animal that roams the other side of the world. The cat only eats the ripest coffee beans, which it doesn't digest fully. As it passes down the cat's intestines, the beans acquire a special taste which humans seemed to love.
Too much information? Yeah, I thought so.
Anyways, the coffee was expensive stuff considering it came out of some cat's bottom.
"Thank you very much for ruining our high calorie, high sugar breakfast." Several young mutants stated as they entered the dining room. . . Even though they couldn't have possibly heard the narration. . . and therefore cannot direct the comment at anyone in particular. . . and why were they so health conscious?
"Hello? Can you like stop talking like we're not here?"
Ok. . . odd. . .
"Yeah that's right. We can hear you. What's with the speech about coffee?"
Ahhh! There's the problem. I forgot to turn on the 'Stop narration from reaching characters because otherwise you'll hear a lot of crack pot stuff from the said characters about how stupid/crazy the author is for sending in all the moronic ideas and also stir up paranoia' machine. *Flicks on machine, a.k.a. Bloody piece of low budget junk*
Is has come to my attention that I'd just been blabbing for the past coupla paragraphs. So let's proceed with the story.
Professor Xavier sipped his coffee, trying to push down the earlier comment about the beans' origins. His attempts however, were futile. And proceeded to throw up in the nearest toilet, cursing the author's incompetence and bad hairstyle.
Breakfast over at the young mutant's table on the other hand, went on like normal.
"Pass the salt please."
"Why do you need salt?"
"To sprinkle over my cereal, now pass the salt."
"Who sprinkles salt on cereal?"
"I do. Now pass the salt!"
"Are you sure you don't want sugar?"
"NO! JUST PASS THE FRIGGING SALT!"
"You're eating fruit loops. Salt would taste- "
"Fine, I'll get my own salt." And with that, Jean used her telekinesis to bring the salt to her.
Over at the other side of the breakfast table, they talked about ordinary everyday things.
"- And she was like-"
"You know what Kitty?" Jamie suddenly spoke up.
"What Jamie?"
"Did you know, if you stop saying 'like', 'so' and 'totally' on regular and unnecessary intervals, you can decrease your necessary speech time by up to 20%. If you use all that spare time, you can utilize it to up your character development within the story by up to 18%."
"Really? Then how would I do on the ratings?"
"Hey, who knows. You might end up with as much character development as Scott. . ."
And in a bathroom upstairs, Rogue was preparing for her day. Staring into the mirror, she mentally plotted out her daily schedule.
'More eyeliner?' she thought to herself 'Why not. Gotta look gothy for the fans.' She took out a palm pilot and called up the calendar. 'Let's see what Ah got planned for today. . .
9:36am ~ Have a 'coincidental' meeting with Gambit (To keep all the Romy fans satisfied) but abruptly end the conversation with an argument (keep the fans in suspense, that's the key to character popularity).
Also, (10:15am) walk past the Brotherhood house and 'incidentally' bump into Pietro. Insult him as he helps me up. (That should keep the Rietro fans off m'ah back for now).
10:45am ~ Back at the institute. Steal a glance at Scott (that should do for now to shut up the Scogue fans).
3:42pm ~ Go off somewhere alone and 'inadvertently' let out some crap about m'ah troubled past.'
Rogue looked at her plans and sighed. It ain't easy being in to center of a huge fan focus. But someone's gotta do it. . .
~~~~~~~
Meanwhile, having finished her salty fruit loops. Jean crept towards the garage. The theme song of 'Mission Impossible' was playing in the background (I don't know why, but Bobby loved to play that song over and over again on the stereo). Jean winced as she heard the anguish screams of Bobby as the other teenagers tried to get past him to turn the music off. Jean's immediate reaction was to act as a mediator and solve the dispute. But she was almost at the garage and. . .
"Hey Red, whatcha doing there?" Logan asked when he saw her through the open garage door. Jean was so surprised that she fell over, butt first. Even though it wasn't a big surprise. . . and she was standing perfectly fine. Oh heck, maybe she was just clumsy.
"Rubbing my sore ass. What does it look like?" Jean replied testily as she rubbed her sore ass.
"No, I meant what are you doing with that body bag."
Jean looked at the large, lumpy bag she was dragging behind her "What about the bag? Can't a girl make a short road trip with a bag suspiciously in the shape of a body?"
Wolverine shrugged "I don't see why not. . ."
Jean frowned "Do you have a problem with that?"
"I just said why not- "
" Because if you try to stop me, bad things will happen. Most likely to you."
Logan was confused at the sudden aggressiveness in Jean's behavior "I wasn't about to stop you. I don't see anything wrong - "
"That's it! I told you not to get in my way!" And with that, Jean pinned Logan against a wall with her powers.
She shoved the bag into the X-van and drove off.
The effects of Jean's telekinesis wore off as soon as she drove through the gates. Logan dropped suddenly to the floor, wondering if it was national 'Pick on Wolverine' day. He'd already been driven to the garage by Bobby's continuous playing of action movies theme songs, and now this.
"Hi Wolverine, what're you doing?" Scott asked in a perfectly cheerful voice, along with his perfectly cleaned and iron shirt, his perfect hair and a perfectly written 'Kick Me' sign taped to his back. (Written by a not- so-perfect teenager within the institute).
"I'm rubbing my sore ass. What does it look like?" Wolverine replied, mimicking Jean's actions just a couple of minutes before.
"Right. . . I was just wondering, have you seen Jean?"
"Yeah, just then. She went off for a drive. Didn't seem too happy."
Scott looked thoughtful "That's the sixth time in the past two weeks. Where does she go?"
"Was that a rhetorical question?"
"It is if you don't know the answer."
"And I don't know the answer. . ."
"So it must be rhetorical."
"Right."
~~~~~~~~
So where DOES Jean go you ask? Ok, so you didn't ask. Actually I have no way of knowing if you did ask, so I really don't know whether or not. . .
Fine, let's just be hypothetical and say that you DID ask where Jean goes. So I'll tell you (whether you like it or not).
It'd all started around two weeks ago (ok, I realize this doesn't explain where Jean goes . . . yet). Jean saw something interesting while in a food fight with the Acolytes. While cursing that she didn't take up the opportunity to leave when she had a chance, she saw something that was truly amazing. . . Magneto was bending a stainless steel spoon.
After getting all the whipped cream off her hair that day, Jean began to contemplate the things in life. The shoe sale next week, school finales coming up, submitting an article to a teen magazine about how to get whipped cream out of hair. . . yep, as all of you know, Jean was a very deep person.
But all that has nothing to do with her little trips, so I'll get to the point.
After finishing her breakfast the next day, she began to wonder if she too, could bend a spoon (don't ask me why, because I don't know). After destroying about thirty odd spoons, she felt a need for a greater challenge. So she picked up the phone and dialed the Acolytes' HQ.
The phone call went a little something like this:
Magneto ~ "Hello? Acolytes HQ. How may we cause you major pain and destruction?"
Jean ~ "Is that Magneto?"
Mags ~ "Yes. And you are . . .?"
Jean ~ "Jean Grey."
Mags ~ "And you're calling because. . ."
Jean ~ "I'd like to challenge you to a spoon bending competition."
Mags ~ "Hmmm. Depends, plastic or metal."
Jean ~ "Standard *insert brand name here* metal spoons."
Mags ~ *pause* "Deal."
So that's where Jean's been going. So far she's lost all the various spoon bending games, but she was determined (and a sore loser) and she had something up her sleeve that would surely blow Magneto away. . .
*****
Yep, the whole thing was pointless, plotless, and random mind lint scraped from deep within the swirling vortex that is my brain.
But if you'd like, I could write more *hint hint*
-Rubber Duki