That fair-skinned face that had always seemed to smile, whether it had been a shit-eating one or not.

Those dulled red eyes that seemed to have some spark in them.

The familar sounds of her cane tapping as she walked to her destination.

He never thought he'd miss those little things about her. It was strange, finally getting his wish for the raven-haired girl to die. It.. wasn't how he'd expected it to be. He even recalled trying to yell out to her, even ludging forward a bit to prevent it.

But his voice froze up on him.

His body only allowed one step from him before revolting against him.

He wasn't sure why it had happened, why his body had done that. He thought that he could convince himself that he'd made it happen himself, wanting the accident to happen. That he'd enjoy it, that he'd even celebrate it's happening, even applauding that bus that had such horrible timing.

It didn't quite work the way he wanted it to. Sure the lies covered the bitter-sweet truth for a while but it wasn't as if it could truly last forever. Those couple of weeks during which the lie worked felt rather strange to him, almost.. unnatural if that was the right word to describe it.

Yes the tall man cracked jokes during it.

Yes the tall man always seemed to smile with absolute joy.

But it didn't seem true. It didn't seem like he was really feeling that way. Such things seemed as if it was just a way to tone down that stinging, harsh reality.

She wasn't coming back.

There would be no more visits from her, no more of that sweetly, nasily laugh. No one to push his buttons in just that right way that was guaranteed to work everytime. There was especially no one anymore to escort around when such a rare, nostalgic time occured. Perhaps that was something that he really longed to do again. It reminded him of when they were younger, when he had always stuck by her side to help her, holding her hand regardless of whether she had her cane to guide her or not.

Oh, how he longed to be able to do that again.

To hold that soft, small hand in his rough big one.

In fact, when he thought about it, their hands seemed to fit each other, almost as if they were made for just a thing. Maybe it was just a silly thought, a stupid one, but his mind always wondered back to it regardless. And when that happened, his mind would screech at him to remember what had happened to her; even taunting him, whispering "It's your fault. All your fault." And that, that just caused a painful thump in his heart.

He wasn't as if he wanted her to back up so far that she was in the street. It wasn't as if he didn't know she wasn't invincible. Or.. perhaps he really didn't at the time. She was human in the end. She wasn't immortal nor was she something that could survive anything. A vending machine or a stop sign wasn't anything compared to a large, speeding bus running her over. No, it was nothing like that. Those vending machines and those stop signs never smashed that once gorgeous face into mush nor did they make her small, thin body snap and twist into an impossible, crushed up mess. They only caused scratches, cuts. It was absolutely nothing in comparision.

Nothing.

When he truly thought about it, perhaps the dulled eye blind girl was right.

Perhaps he truly was a monster.

So I'm trying to redeem myself for being a lazy jerk face for not writing enough.

In reality Shizuo'd probably would be rejoicing that that this happened, but I just.. wanted to make something sad. xD;

So what do you guys think? Is it decent? :'D