((This is my fanfic between my Grey Warden and Loghain. Not AU as such, as it will follow the story about the return to Ostagar and then on to Redcliffe/Denerim for the final fight. After reading The Stolen Throne, I became a huge Loghain fangirl and saw him in a completely different light. Please Read and Review and leave any comments and suggestions. Dragon Age Origins, Thedas, Ferelden, Loghain and all other characters connected to the game belong to Bioware, Catheryn and her faithful mabari belong to me))

The silence of the room was deafening, the tension that filled the vast hall was overwhelming, causing the breath to catch in the chest, the heart to beat so hard against the rib cage that one could be sure every single being in the room could hear every single thump. Brown eyes fell to the pretty blonde, whose cheeks were stained with tears, whose chest shook as she tried to fight back the sobs that threatened to sound. The eyes then fell to the other blonde, a male, whose look couldn't have been any different if he tried. His brown eyes were filled with anger, hatred, a look that had never been witnessed before and one that caused the owner of the brown eyes to step back.

Taking a look around the room, the eyes fell, finally, to the man who was knelt on the floor looking up. His cold, ice blue eyes locked with the warm brown orbs. A soft sigh escaped from the owner, sword lowering to the floor as the woman held out a hand to the man in front of her. He nodded curtly and took it, helping himself up, to the roar of disapproval from the blonde male.

'No! How could you? After everything he has done? Everything he did to Cailan? To Duncan? How could you choose him over me? After everything we have been through?'

The young woman closed her eyes for a moment and let out another sign, calming herself as she looked towards the outraged male, almost lost for words, such was the ferocity of his temper.

'It wasn't about choosing him over you Alistair. This isn't about pride, this is about what is the best for Ferelden and all her people!'

'When he betrayed the King and Duncan, was he doing what was best for Ferelden then? Are you going to let your silly, childhood illusions of this man cloud your judgement?'

The young woman flushed red at the mention of this, not only embarrassed but also angry that he would use this as a weapon against her, something that she had revealed to him confidence.

'Duncan would have understood! We are not so many that we can dismiss the chance to defeat the Arch Demon and end this blight! The other wardens are too far away. Loghain is a skilled warrior, we need him in this fight and I will not execute him here without giving him the chance to redeem himself. He saved Ferelden once, maybe he is the one to do it again.'

'Well, you will have to do it without me, because I will not fight by his side and I will not call him brother. I will do my duty, as heir to the throne, but I will not be in the battle along side him!'

The young woman stared at Alistair for a moment. Her brown eyes locked with his. Despite his ways and despite the fact that he had, for the most part, let her make all the decisions and take the lead, Alistair had finally found the thing that would make him put his foot down, the thing that had made him find his courage and stand so firmly by what he believed in. She was glad to see it, even if she was saddened that it was this that finally brought it to the fore. They had always been close, united in grief and shared anger. But now, the distance between them was so wide you could fit the Arch Demon and all the darkspawn horde between them and still have space. The young woman bowed her head, her long brown hair falling forward before she raised it, her eyes locking with his once more.

'Very well your majesty, I wish you a long and happy reign.'

With that, the young woman turned on her heel, catching the thankful eye of the pretty blonde woman, who bowed her head in gratitude as she left. The man with the ice blue eyes followed her, as did the rest of the band of wayward strays that she had picked up along her journey. They walked in silence as they headed to the keep that had been home for the last couple of days. She was half surprised that they were still allowed inside after this, but she knew that Arl Eamon would understand that the need, for now, was greater than pride.

Pushing the door to her room open, the others filed off, still in silence, all except the man she had just saved, and, to her surprise, her elder brother.

'Fergus, what are you doing here?'

'Catheryn, I didn't get chance to talk to you at the landsmeet! Do you...are you sure this is the right thing?'

The young woman looked from her brother, to the man by her side and nodded, without a second thought.

'Yes!'

'Very well, I will leave you be. Be careful sister...'

'And you brother...'

Catheryn watched him leave and then turned to face the man next to her. Even now, despite everything he had done, despite everything that she had risked in order to keep him alive, she still found that she was taken completely with Loghain Mac Tir, the legendary saviour and hero of Ferelden. She had grown up on stories told by her father, the late Bryce Cousland, tales of Loghain, the reluctant hero, Loghain, the man who stood beside Maric in his quest to reclaim his throne from the Orlesians. Whenever Catheryn had seen him, he was everything the reluctant hero that she had imagined and even now, she refused to believe that there wasn't still some greatness left hidden deep inside this bitter man.

'Was that true? What Ali- what the king said?'

Catheryn peered at Loghain for a moment and then stepped towards the window of her room, looking down at the courtyard below, her eyes closing for a second as she thought back to the last few months and then shook her head.

'No, it was the look in Anora's eyes, as well as the fact that Ferelden needs all the help it can get. I know what it is like to lose my parents. I couldn't put her through the same pain, not there, in that room. I know you have little love for the Grey Wardens, but this is for the best.'

'You remind me of Maric, strong and yet fair, with a good heart. But be warned, that heart can get you killed.'

'It has served me well so far and it is that good heart that spared your life. You did nothing to avenge my parent's death, despite all you said back in Ostagar but still, here you stand, because this is what is best for Ferelden.'

Catheryn turned from the window and locked eyes with Loghain once more. She held the gaze defiantly, as though trying to add weight to her words and the intent behind them. But even despite her words, as she looked at him, she still couldn't help the stupid, childish view that she had of him and how she so desperately hoped that he wouldn't disappoint her again. Once again she turned from him, peering out of the window.

Loghain stood silent for a moment, taking in the young woman who stood before him. A pretty young thing, with long brown hair and warm brown eyes. She was built like a warrior and wore her armour well, however, she retained her feminine charms and, unlike most female warriors, it was quite easy to tell that she was a woman. In fact, so much so, she reminded him of another warrior that he had once known, a woman who he had loved with all his heart. She too would have challenged Loghain just as Catheryn had just done. She too would have highlighted everything he had done wrong and the only woman in the world who could ever make him feel as small as a mouse and as tall as a giant all at the same time. But she had belonged to someone else, and Loghain had spent years trying to forget her and now, with Catheryn Cousland before him, all those memories came rushing back and the worst part was, not all of them were painful.

'You are right, I didn't fulfil the promise made by the King to have Howe punished for your parents murder, and for that, I cannot apologise, for there are no words. But, as I am sure you are aware by now, when you believe you are fighting a wa-'

'We are fighting a war! It's just it's not against the Orlesians as you have kidded yourself, but against a greater and darker threat than any of us could have imagined! We leave tomorrow at first light, we are heading for Redcliffe, where the majority of our forces will be gathering.'

Loghain peered at Catheryn once more, noting the change in her eyes and the defiant tone in her voice. He gave her a curt nod and took his leave, giving a huff of disapproval as he went.

Moving from the window, Catheryn sat on her bed and began to remove the heavy armour that she had been wearing, sighing with relief at the freedom of movement she suddenly felt as the armour hit the floor with a clunk. She knew she should care for it better, but one thing she had never been good at was taking care of her armour. Even back at Highever, she would be forever visiting the blacksmith, trying to persuade him to knock a dent out of her armour without telling her father.

As Catheryn lay back on her bed, she looked up at the ceiling and let thoughts of her mother and father come to her head, of her little nephew running around the courtyard, wooden sword in hand, pretending he was slaying some monster in the stories that her brother would tell him, much to the dismay of his wife. A tear ran down her cheek as she thought of them, her right hand rising to quickly banish the tear before another one fell, but, it was to no avail. Maybe if she had listened to her mother, she wouldn't be here now, with the weight of an entire contininent on her shoulders and the lives of every being that lived there. Maybe if she had married and settled down, she would be hidden in the Bannorn somewhere, where her only duty was to approve the request that the men go and fight for Ferelden under her husbands banner.

But, that wasn't to be. She had watched as her parents gave up their lives so she could get away, betrayed by someone who claimed to be their most loyal ally. How long had it been since the day she had lost them? Yet her heart still hurt as though it had happened only yesterday. For over a year she had been running through the Countryside, attempting to avoid Loghain's forces and unite the races of Ferelden to fight alongside the Grey Wardens when the time came.

Her thoughts switched from her parents to King Cailan and Duncan, and all the men who had lost their lives by the treachery of Loghain, a man, the King assumed, was his most loyal and trusted ally. The King had been young, and a little naive, but he was harmless and this had been his first real battle. He had been the son of Loghain's closest friend and still, Loghain had managed to betray him. Had Catheryn done the right thing by letting him live. Alistairs reaction had been more than justified but was it really for the sake of Ferelden that Catheryn had let him live? If it had been at another time, when the need wasn't so dire, would she have been able to execute him?

Catheryn sat up with a start and wiped the tears away. Whatever the answer to that question was, she wasn't ready to face it just yet. For now, the most important thing was defeating the Arch Demon and stopping the Darkspawn horde before it devoured Ferelden whole.