Kimi is having problems moving on from her past. She's living with her best friend, who she thinks she has feelings for, but she feels jealous of Lil's new relationship.

Disclaimer; I do not own. Although one character, who will appear in later chapters, I do own.

Here I Am

Here I am, months after the incident. I'm sitting in Lil's apartment, in a chair with my knees pulled to my chest, staring at the TV. Phil is passed out on the couch, snoring loudly. Lil and Tommy are in the kitchen "getting snacks" but they've been in there for over ten minutes. I roll my eyes and laugh to myself, Phil would be livid if he knew Tommy was in the other room making out with his sister.

I look at the scars on my wrist. Scars that happened a little after the incident. I ran my fingertips over them, remembering everything that happened. I could feel the tears threatening to fall, but I refused to cry over him again. I refuse to cry over what we had, if we had anything at all.

Since said incident, I've been in therapy. The doctor makes me go once a week to make sure I'm fine and sane. To make sure I'm still the same Kimi Finster that I was before the incident, but I'm not. I never will be. Phil starts to stir on the couch and I can feel his eyes on me "You okay over there, Kim?"

I tear my eyes away from the scars and give him my best fake smile "Yeah, I'm good." I get up out of the chair and start towards the kitchen.

I walk in and see just what I thought was happening. Tommy has Lil pinned against the counter and they're making out. I clear my throat, making my presence known to them. Lil pushes Tommy away from her looks over at me "Are you hungry?"

I look over at Tommy who's smirking at Lil. It was no secret that the two of them were in love with each other, and I never understood why they bothered keeping it a secret. "Starving."

Phil walks into the kitchen and leans against the wall, arms crossed "Are you making food?"

Lil nods and starts getting things out of cabinets, I'm sure she doesn't even know what she's about to cook "Yeah, you want something?"

Phil nods and sits at the kitchen table and I join him. I'm watching Tommy and Lil closely. Tommy had his hand on the small of her back and was now whispering something in her ear. I turn to Phil to see if he's watching but he's too busy on his phone to notice. I sigh and lean on the table. Phil looks up at me and smiles "What's up?"

"What do you mean?"

"You just look in thought. Something on your mind?"

Phil has always been that one friend I could count on. He was there for me after the incident and he's even letting me live with him. I could tell him anything, I trust him with my life. "Nothing important."

Tommy, Phil and Lil all knew what happened. They knew about the incident, which is why Phil offered to let me live with him. He didn't want me around him anymore. Like he was for Lil, Phil was also very protective of me. It was one thing I always loved about him. I only wished Chuckie had been like that.

Chuckie. My brother. He moved a while ago. He married his high school sweetheart, Samantha Shane, and they moved to the other side of California. I heard from him once a week, usually on the same day I have my therapy. At least I still get to talk to him.

Tommy joins us at the table but his eyes are still on Lil. I had to admit it, they would be cute together. I honestly think they are together. I've barely left Phil or Lil's apartment since what happened. Tommy's been around a lot more lately, he even spends the night here. They were always being sneaky when with each other and always, like I caught them earlier, making out when they have the chance.

I looked over at Phil whose eyes were glued to me. I roll my eyes at him "I promise, nothing is wrong with me Phil."

Tommy looked away from Phil and his eyes were now on me "You do look pretty out of it."

I sighed in frustration and lean back into the chair, crossing my arms "I'm fine, okay?" I force a smile to make them believe me.

Tommy looks convinced but Phil doesn't. Phil could read me like an open book. Lil sets a plate down in front of me and then one in front of Phil. She walks back over to the stove to get two more plates for her and Tommy. I look down at the plate, breakfast for lunch. Brunch. My favorite.

Even though Phil was the better chef, Lil also knew how to cook. She was just as good but Phil was a little better. We ate in silence. It wasn't even a bad silence because we were all use to eating in it. Tommy hated it when Phil would talk with his mouth full, which happened often. When Phil would do that, Lil would start laughing because he sounds so ridiculous and she starts choking, causing everyone to freak out. It happened every time we would talk while eating.

I got up and thanked Lil for the food. I looked at the time and realized I had to get ready to go to therapy. No words could describe how much I hate therapy. I blame him. I wave a goodbye to Tommy and Lil and walk across the hall to Phil's apartment.

I'm face-to-face with my closet now trying to decide what to wear to this weeks therapy session. Doctor Parker didn't care what I wore, but I liked making a good impression. I pulled out one of my classier dresses and change into it. I walked over to the mirror and did my makeup before pulling my hair out of the ponytail and let it fall down my back.

I walked out of my room and grabbed my keys that were sitting on the counter and was about to walk out the door. "You leaving?"

I jumped and turned around putting a hand to my chest "Shit! Phil! You scared me!"

Phil laughed and turned to look at me "Sorry Kim, but are you leaving?"

I nodded and put my hand on the doorknob "You know, if you ever want someone to go with you, I'd be glad to."

I smiled to myself and turned back around to face him "Thanks for the offer, but I'm fine going alone." I open the door and walk out before he has anything else to say. I get in my car and start driving towards the office.

I walk through the door and I see people sitting in the waiting room. They all turn to look at me, the same thought probably running through all of their heads 'what's wrong with this girl? She looks so normal." I give them all smiles and walk towards Doctor Parker's door and knock. She opens it and gives me a smile before motioning for me to take a seat.

She only knew what my parents told her. She didn't know the whole story. Today was the day I was going to open up and tell her everything that happened. "So Miss Finster, how are you today?"

"I'm doing just fine. I've spent all day with my friends."

"How are you feeling about what happened?"

I sigh, it was time to finally open up "The same I feel everyday. Miserable. Upset. Depressed. I look at the scars on my wrist and automatically think about what happened."

Doctor Parker nodded and gave me a smile "Are you ready to talk about it?"

"I'll never be ready to. But I know I need to."

"Whenever you're ready, Kimi."

I take a deep breath and ready myself to finally tell someone what happened that day.