Inspired by a chat between myself and Sakura Elixir. I hope you all like! If you do, I'll write more, if you don't, well...*shrugs* anyway, standard disclaimers and stuff...
I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Vexen, Axel, Xigbar, Xemnas, or any (no)body in this story. It is purely the work of an overactive imagination and too much free time. I am not making any profit off of this, and never will, so please don't sue, AMEN!
it was a bored day in the castle for the blonde scientist known as Vexen. He had singlehandedly discovered the cure for Hiccups, (Axel stole that and burned it, upon discovering it was highly flameable) The Common Cold, (Xigbar used it for target practice) and stupidity (Demyx, Ironically, got to that one. Why must he bring his Sitar wherever he goes?).
The scientist wiped a bead of sweat off of his brow and pondered what to do next. Turning a curious eye towards the clock, Vexen buried his face in his palm. It was only 10 am.
"What to do for the rest of the day..." he wondered aloud, pacing around the glorified basement that he called his laboratory. He came to the table that his latest experiment had been resting on, a formula for copying a human being, but sadly, it was still in the temperamental stages.
then a flash of inspiration hit the blonde nobody as a cruel smile curled it's way around his face.
***
Two figures stood outside Xemnas' room, One with bright red hair, the other with grey-black hair pulled into a ponytail and an eyepatch over his right eye. They stayed there for what seemed like an hour, then the red-haired one gave the other a thumbs up.
"You got the stuff?" Xigbar asked in a hushed tone.
Axel nodded and opened a bag he'd been holding, full of mousetraps, flypaper, and petroleum jelly. The redhead cast an uneasy glance over his shoulder, giving the hallway one last inspection.
"This is a little cold, even for us." He said finally. Xigbar laughed.
"Are you chickening out?" he asked, opening the door and walking into The Superior's room.
"Nope, just making sure we both understand." Axel said, following Xigbar in.
"Noted. Now let's get started, I don't want to get caught before Manse-er...The Superior comes back." Xigbar shrugged, the room before the pair was much more grand then any of the other member's rooms. A large full-length mirror opposite the door, a kingsize bed, a walk in closet, all the things that Xemnas sidn't really need, he had.
Xigbar quickly grabed a mousetrap from the bag that Axel carried and smirked.
"Alright, let's get started." The two proceeded to shortsheet Xemnas' bed, coat the floor with an assortment of both flypaper and mousetraps, and were about to slather the doorknob in the peteroleum jelly when...
"KINGDOM HEARTS!"
Xigbar and Axel just stared at each other. then, without any further fanfare, they bolted for the door as fast as they could without triggering the mousetraps.
Suddenly, the door opened, and there was Xemnas. He silently surveyed the scene before him for what seemed like forever, until Axel broke the silence.
"Oh hi, Superior....We were just...uh...." He trailed off, looking to Xigbar for a save.
"You were trapping my room." Xemnas said coldly.
"Don't turn us into Dusks, dude." Xigbar begged. Xemnas just walked past them both to see the room.
"You just might deserve it. After all..." Xemnas said, hands on hips while Xigbar and Axel sweated it out, "Look at this, It's all wrong." the two others just stared at each other in confusion.
"You call this shortsheeting a bed?" Xemnas asked, stepping his way almost effortlessly over to the bed and re-doing it. then he turned his attention to the floor.
"And these mousetraps? if you're trying to catch anything but mice, I'm afraid this just won't do." Xemnas then stooped down to fix the traps ina more efficient manner.
"And don't even get me started on the most important touch." Xemnas said, snatching the petroleum jelly from Xigbar's hand and slathering it onto the doorknob. the two were so surprised that by the time Xemnas was finished, they had just realized that they were frozen in shock.
"Well, have fun." Xemnas said, and before either Axel or Xigbar could protest, The Superior closed the door on them. Axel just glared at Xigbar.
"What now genius?" he asked, each one afraid to move.