Standing on the roof, the wind breezing around them, just looking at each other, Katniss took a deep breath. Knowing how he felt had changed things. At first she thought it was all for the cameras, but then she thought back to the days they had spent in such close quarters.
The way she caught him looking at her when he thought she wasn't looking, the feel of his soft brushes against her skin, the gentle sighs when she brushed against him. "It's true, isn't it?" She asked softly even though she already knew the answer.
His blue eyes gazed back at her, "Yes." He said in a strong clear voice. "It's true Kat, I love you." He moved to her, standing just inches from her now. "I love you." He said again. "Tomorrow, I have to kill you." She whispered looking up at him.
He sighed deeply. "I know, and I'll let you. It can't be me; I can't leave that arena without you. I'll do what I can to help you, to make sure it's you." After everything she'd been through she didn't think her heart could feel pain any more, but looking into his eyes, the pain and resignation that glowed from them, she felt it break.
"Peeta," She whispered, not knowing what else to say. He tried to grin back reassuringly as he took her hand and squeezed it. "It's ok Katniss, I made my peace with it a long time ago. At the reaping. When you took Prim's place, I knew then that no matter who else was called that I would volunteer in his place. I couldn't let you come without being here to protect you." He said placing her hand over his heart. Tears filled her eyes at his words.
Katniss Everdeen was not the kind of girl who was in tune with her heart, past knowing she loved her little sister and her best friend and most of the time her mother. She was not a girl, who was used to feeling feminine or girlish. She was not used to feeling romantic or affectionate. But standing there looking into the eyes of the boy with the bread, reading all the emotions that practically flowed from him, for that moment, she was all of those things.
"Oh Peeta." She whispered before leaning up on her toes and pressing her lips to his. He responded a moment later, pulling her close and wrapping his arms around her waist, hers sliding up his firm chest to lock behind his head.
"I love you Katniss Everdeen, I love you" He murmured against her lips. The feelings coursing through her made her mind fuzzy, the fear of tomorrow, the fear of him, the desire for him. She pulled back slightly to catch her breath.
He sighed contentedly. "I've been waiting for 11 years to tell you that." Katniss gasped in shock at his admission. "11 years?" She squeaked. He chuckled as he slid a hand up to the back of her head, pulling her lips back to his own. He made breathy little noises as they kissed that told her he was feeling pure joy and knew he meant every word.
"I wish you'd told me." She whispered when they broke apart to breath, his lips trailing along her neck. "Would it have mattered back at home? You had so much to deal with. I don't think it would have, I think you would have ignored it, ran away, done what you needed to keep surviving. It couldn't have mattered until here, until now, in this situation. "His words were right; she would have run from him because anything past surviving and keeping her family alive was just too much for her.
"I'm sorry Peeta." She whispered. He pulled back to look into her eyes. "Don't be. I wish things had been different, but you were just being you, the girl I fell in love with." She didn't even need to think as she leaned up to kiss him again, letting her body take over where her mind didn't know what to do.
They floated over to the garden, the wind chimes tinkling in the background. He lowered her to one of the cushioned lounge chairs. "Katniss. Let me show you how much I love you." He whispered. Even though until tonight she had never even kissed a boy, she knew what he meant. Her response was to kiss him again.
He lowered his body to cover hers, one hand propping him up as his other hand trailed down to the hem of her shirt. She quivered as his fingers traced over her bare stomach. His hand ghosted over her skin, raising goose bumps in its wake until he reached her breasts. He hesitated for a moment, giving her time to stop him but when she didn't protest he squeezed the soft globes.
He felt her moan into his mouth and smiled. "Come here." He whispered sitting up and pulling her up with him. He pulled her shirt over her head then paused to look her in the eye. "Ok?" He asked. She took a deep breath. "Yeah, it's just, new."
He leaned in to kiss her again, watching her eyelids flutter closed, then reached behind her to unhook her bra. He pulled away a moment latter pulling the soft frilly Capitol bra down her arms and dropping it off to the side. She blushed and looked away feeling uncomfortable. "Beautiful." He murmured then pulled his own shirt off and let it join hers.
Her eyes came back to him of out curiosity, taking in the firm lean muscles that years of carrying heavy bags of flour and sugar developed. Tenitively she reached out, caressing his warm flesh. He sighed at her gentle touch and basked in the feeling of her being here with him, a dream he'd never dared hope would come true.
He kissed her again, pushing her back a little so she would lie back again. He went with her, kissing her for a moment before trailing his lips across her cheek, gently suckling her ear lobe then moving down to her chest. His fingers gently tracked her ribs as he finally reached her breasts.
He took the nipple of her right breast into his mouth as his other hand found her left, gently squeezing it as his tongue worked it into a peak before moving to the other. Katniss felt her breath catch at the new sensation of his mouth on her. She had never even entertained thoughts that a man would want her in this way, but now that he was hear with her, she knew this felt right, knew that no matter what was to come in the arena, this night was something that she could give him.
She felt him moving down her stomach, kissing a path to her belly button. He glanced up at her then, looking for confirmation as he reached for her zipper. She smiled gently and caressed a hand through his pale locks. He slowly lowered her zipper, still kissing her as he pulled her pants down, his kisses following along the newly exposed flesh.
He heard her breath catch as his lips moved over her hip bone and along her groin. She bucked slightly as his touch. Her thighs quivered as his lips moved down the soft, silky flesh. Not even kissing, just brushing along them. Her moan made him smile as her reached her knee then sat back to pull her pants off her feet.
Laying almost naked before him, Katniss bit her lip, resisting the urge to cover up. "You're so beautiful Katniss." He whispered as he watched the look in her eyes fade from bliss to fear. "You don't look comfortable; we can stop if you want." She shook her head, holding out a hand to pull him back down with her. "No, I want to. I've just never done this before." She whispered looking away from him.
He put his hand on her chin and pulled her eyes back to his. "Me either. You're my first too." He whispered kissing her gently. "We can stop though, I've gotten enough, and I can die happy." He said in a light tone, though she knew he was serious.
"No, I want you Peeta." She whispered. He smiled and leaned in to kiss her again. "Touch me." She whimpered after a moment. Peeta ran his hand down her stomach and fingered the lacey edge of her panties for a moment. She shimmied her hips a little, giving him permission to continue.
His fingers dipped between her wet folds. They both moaned at his touch on her. She whimpered as he rubbed her little bud. "Oh Peeta." She moaned, the feeling making her want to scream in ecstasy. "I need you. Please."
Peeta stood up, pulling his own clothes off before quickly rejoining her before the haze could wear out of her eyes again. He kissed his way up her thigh before pulling the frilly panties off to join the matching bra.
He didn't think they were the kinds of undergarments she normally wore, but he couldn't help imaging her walking through the town center in her pants and button up shirt, leather jacket and hunting boots, with a silky, lacey red bra and panties hidden underneath.
"What?" She asked noting the dreamy, faraway look in his eyes. "Nothing, just thinking of you." He said before kissing closer to her newly exposed flesh. His tongue gently lapped at her lips before sinking in between them.
She moaned loudly now as he gently sucked her clit into his mouth. He sunk two fingers deeply into her, making her almost scream. She tangled her fingers in his hair, writhing beneath him, gasping for air. "Oh god, oh god, Peeta." She moaned even louder.
Her reactions drove him wild, he couldn't stand it anymore. He crawled up her body and dove into to kiss her. "Oh Kat." He groaned shoving his tongue into her mouth. She was just as wild as he was at that point, her legs wrapping around his hips and pulling him closer. He moved his hips around until they felt him line up with her before thrusting into her.
She cried out into the kiss at the sudden pain. "Oh geez, sorry baby, I wasn't thinking." He gasped kissing her forehead. "It's ok, I just forgot it was going to hurt." They panted, looking into each other's eyes; his still held a note of guilt. "I'm ok Peeta." She said leaning up to kiss him.
After a few moments she began to squeeze him making him moan. Taking her hint he thrust gently into her. "I love you Kat." He moaned looking into her eyes hitting a spot deep inside of her. Stars exploded in front of her eyes and she threw her head back.
"Oh god Peeta!" She screamed as he hit the spot again. Over and over. "I love you, I love you Kat, you're so beautiful." He muttered as he drove her higher and higher, his words pushing her as much as his body.
He reached down to press against her bud. With a final scream her body exploded around him, clenching down on him. With a loud shout of his own he came with her.
He moved to lay next to her, holding her close. Katniss pulled her arms up between their chests one hand resting on his chest, the other on his cheek. "You are a miracle Katniss Everdeen. My first and only." He whispered as she panted, floating on a cloud. "I wish we could have that always. My first and only." She whispered back.
He rolled his eyes, his hand sliding over her. "Not your only. You'll probably go home and get together with Gale. Get married, have babies. Go on living." Katniss was shocked, the mood suddenly changing serious and awkward.
"Peeta, I don't feel that way about him. Gale is like a brother to me." He sighed deeply, sitting up. "Katniss. I've seen the way he looks at you." She was confused "What?" "He loves you Katniss. He loves you like I do." She lay looking up at the lighted projections on the clouds about the city.
Maybe he was right. When she though back she could see that Peeta loved her, looking back, she could see he was right about Gale. "Oh no." She whispered.
Peeta pulled his boxers back on then handed her the shirt he had pulled off her earlier. "Peeta. I'm not this kind of girl. You know I'm not." She said pulling the shirt back on. Peeta lay next to her again, snuggling her to him. She sighed lying on his shoulder and putting her arm around him.
"I never want kids. I don't want to get married. And you were right; it needed to be here, now, in this situation. With you." He sighed and kissed her head. "I'm ruining this night, aren't I?" He asked. "It doesn't matter. It's our last night."
His hand drifted down to caress her bare thigh. "I really can die happy now." He sighed. Katniss felt the ache in her heart at his words. Knowing he was right, he had to be. She couldn't be the one to die; she needed to get back to her family.
"I am sorry that you're here. This night was amazing and I'm glad we got it. But I wish we hadn't. I wish we weren't here. I wish we could both go on living safe, back at home. I don't know how I'll go home without you. But I don't think I can kill you Peeta."
"Let's not talk about this anymore. Let's just make our last night a good one." He said leaning down to kiss her again. "Come on." Katniss said standing up and making up her mind. "Come to bed with me." He smiled back, picking up their clothes and taking her hand.
.
.
.
I'm standing on my metal plate, looking over at Peeta trying to figure out if he's shaking his head at me but the sun's in my eyes, and while I'm still puzzling over it the gong rings out. I've missed my chance! Despite the blinding sun, I do see something clearly as I look at Peeta. Tied around his wrist is the dark blue ribbon that I was wearing in my hair on Reaping Day. His token. With that last sight of him I run.