Horrible Plan

Disclaimer: I do not own Disgaea 2. That belongs to Nippon Ichi. Also do not own Queen's Blade. That belongs to Hobby Japan.

Summary: Axel only meant well for Adell, but of course that's not how Rozalin sees it.

Pairing: Adell/Rozalin (with Axel trying to squeeze it into an OT3)

Rated: T

Genre: Humor and Friendship

Warning: Swearing, sexual situations, Axel being himself and unintentional OOC

For the Disgaea 30 Day Challenge (Day 4 is Adell and Rozalin). I'm not doing all of them FYI.

No matter what Adell said, Axel was his rival and best friend even if they weren't on equal grounds. Axel was someone that had angered Adell when he was at his worse and helped him out of a jam the other times. Most of the time, Adell pitied the fool who constantly tried to get back on TV and be popular. He didn't watch his show, so he wouldn't know anything about what Axel did that made him obsessed. All he knew was after the whole Overlord Zenon incident; he had gained another person that lived in the house. Apparently Axel got in trouble with the news reports because he apparently lied about the whole Overlord Zenon thing. This was good for Adell's group though because it meant that no one would swarm their house interrogating them about the whole battle that did kill many other Overlords. Axel literally swept it under the rug so they could live in peace, so it was the least Adell could do for Axel.

But with his kindness came the irritation afterward especially since Adell and Rozalin were a couple now even though they were too embarrassed to admit it. Adell swore he would make Rozalin happy and how he would never betray her. Easier said than done now though because he had no idea how a relationship worked. No matter how good of a fighter he was, the redhead had no idea how to be intimate.

Along came Axel who has done everything to educate Adell in exchange for letting him live with his family. This comes from telling Adell to hold hands, to how to hug a woman and then trying to kiss. Adell rejected the notion of kissing from the Dark Hero because he felt his body tense up around him. The last thing he needed was for his parents to walk in and then misinterpret the scene.

But Adell wouldn't admit it, but Axel's advice was helpful…the only problem was when he tried to practice it outside of the village of Holt, Axel was always there watching. From walking behind them (and getting punched in the face), to crawling on the ground and finally watching from the trees, it was apparent that the two were not going to have any peace around here.

Heck the one time Adell gave into Axel watching them was when they were training, but the Dark Hero complained that this wasn't a romantic setting. The redhead couldn't get a conversation in with the vampire especially when Axel made the conversation about them. Punching the older demon wasn't going to change anything so they just sat there in silence the entire day as Axel made it about himself. Adell would later lecture him that night about how he ruined everything thus getting a halfhearted apology.

To make it up to Adell, Axel left the young couple alone for the entire day to search for Pink and ask her about any location in the Netherworld where couples could be together and have fun. Pink's suggestion though was something far from that…but well…she thought Axel finally found someone and spicing things up by pointing to this other human world instead of Veldime. They could date there and get closer.

Oh they got closer all right…closer to killing each other (or rather Rozalin putting a bullet through Adell's skull).

What Axel was told was a lie. What was supposed to be a human planet that focused on couples, the world that Pink told Axel was a place where woman ruled over the planet as a whole and had fighters constantly gather for a tournament to see who would be the next Queen. That was Adell's thing and certainly something not for dating.

Especially when they would go to the new world and be bombarded by what Rozalin would describe as inconceivable. In a planet dominated by women, none wanted to help the couple around especially since there was a tournament going down. Hearing the word tournament almost made the redhead forget that he was taking Rozalin on a date.

What Rozalin saw was men betting on female fighters in the ring and drinking. What Adell saw was the chance to jump into the ring and fight the winner…even though it was established in this word that men could not participate in the tournament. No one wanted a king…only a beautiful queen.

So Adell was forcing his way to get a front row seat in the stadium. Not only was he pushed aside for being a nosy kid (and he took offense to that), but also the fact that the battle everyone was watching wasn't in the tournament got him.

"Adell, your battle loving tendencies are showing." Rozalin grumbled.

"Oh come on Rozy! I didn't know this place was a tournament! I mean, Axel told me it was for couples."

"Yes, watching women fight is definitely for couples…"

The battle apparently took place in the sky. The angels in charge of this world hosted the tournament through magic and allowed them to watch the battles from anywhere on the planet like it was a TV. The angels needed a lot of magic and concentration for this to work and the angel previously in charge of the telegraphing was sent to battle in the tournament itself.

"Oh they're starting the fight now!" Adell declared looking up. "Oh, I wonder who is going to win!"

"Adell…"

"R-Right, I'll get you something to eat after the match. I think there is another match after this so…"

Rozalin rolled her eyes again as she continued to look around. Everyone was fixated toward the sky like the battle meant everything to him or her.

The fight was between a warrior priestess and apparently the nun of the church. All the women in this tournament had their reason for becoming queen and the information was already spread around. Rozalin didn't care about the tournament though. She wanted to do some…romantic things with Adell even if he had no idea what to do.

But of course the audience gasps at what was happening in the sky.

"The holy pose!"

When you think of holy pose, you think of someone praying before unleashing light magic on the opponent. What the two saw was the exact opposite. Adell had a blank expression before his face turned completely red. Rozalin's redness was from something else entirely.

"Adell…you knew this…didn't you?"

"N-No I-"

"You knew that this tournament not only had woman as the attraction but these women fight sexually!"

"You got it wrong! Axel-"

Adell felt a cold sweat drip down his forehead hearing a gun click. Rozalin already had her gun pointed to his forehead. Apparently guns didn't exist in this world so no one knew what the vampire was doing to her boyfriend.

"You insensitive jerk! Die!"

Suffice to say, the date didn't go well. Axel found that out when he visited his friend in the hospital. His entire body was wrapped like a mummy and his leg had to be extended up so he wouldn't pull a muscle.

"Hey buddy, what happened? Did you fail to treat Rozalin right?" Axel asked. "Or was she so happy you ended up here? It's the latter right? My idea was great, right? Of course it was. Anything the Dark Hero suggests is awesome."

If Adell could move his fist, he would have punched Axel so hard that he would be patient in the bed right next to him. He couldn't even talk with the bandage over his mouth.

"Ggggg fffffck yrsef."

That translated to "Go fuck yourself." but to Axel he just smiled thinking it was a "Thank you Axel. You are so amazing." Rozalin would not see Adell for a while until he got out of the hospital. He was stuck with the Dark Hero the entire time and the blonde would be ignorant of his screw up until Adell was able to talk again. It was torture to hear the Dark Hero talk non-stop about how amazing he was and repeat the same story twice in the same day. If Adell could at least reach the bell next to him, he could ask someone to take the older demon away, but he couldn't move and Axel wasn't going to go away anytime soon.

Axel…this is the last time I ask you for anything…this was such a horrible plan…uhh…Rozy…help!

But his thoughts were going to be heard as Axel tortured him more with the results of the tournament that he was not allowed to watch.

Me: Done with 1838 words.

Li: That Queen's Blade…

Me: I couldn't help it! Want to make Adell's life a living hell? Send him to the Queen's Blade universe where he would so fit in for the fighting of the series but only to be looked down upon by his girlfriend. Good job Axel! (Plus I don't want the story under crossover section since I'm just using it as a plot device.) Notes!

1. The battle that Adell and Rozalin watch is based on the anime tournament (as the gamebook and manga continuity have different match ups). Tomoe goes up against Melpha. The reason I chose this battle was because it was one of the few battles where no one got their clothes torn up. Tomoe one-shots Melpha once Melpha starts doing her holy poses. Tomoe sees it as vulgar (and they are sex poses) so she flips out. It's enough for Rozalin to come up with a conclusion on how the matches are (when most of the other matches are not one sided and some of serious like whatever fight Leina is in…except Nanael of course).

2. The winner of the tournament is obvious BUT because the tournament is based on the anime, what Axel is rambling about is how all the matches went. It's torture for Adell who at least would want to see more matches that didn't include holy poses. Isn't Axel a great friend though?

That's it. I'll obviously do Axel's challenge followed by Mao/Rasberyl (because I was serious about a Frozen joke). Reviews are appreciated. Ja ne!