A/N: Timelines aren't exactly in sync between the MCU and the Supernatural world, but does it really matter? Also, this is a 'what if' scenario on the off chance the Winchesters decide to go out Butch and Sundance style, so…also if you aren't familiar with Lexi Wilson, this is a one shot from her adventures, so there's that. Random drabble that struck late at night after hearing 'Eyes Closed' by Halsey.

Normal people marked milestones in their life as celebrations, joyous occasions such as weddings, the birth of their children, maybe a big job promotion. Lexi Wilson is far from normal, her milestones are marked with tragedies: the death of her best friend Charlie Bradbury, the day she lost Sam and Dean Winchester, and the day her remaining friends disintegrated into ashes, Evan Clarke among them.

It's been over two years since the last milestone.

Lexi stares at the man standing in front of her, his eyes looking at her with sadness. Those eyes, they're the same blue as Evan's, and it pains her everytime she sees him. Evan had been there for her while she mourned the loss of the two people who meant the most to her. He was part of the reason she was still here, part of her had felt obligated after everything he and his mother had done for her, and now he was gone too, and she's still stuck here. Life isn't fair, it's cruel and sadistic.

"Stop coming to check on me!" She yells at the man in front of her.

"I was just in the neighborhood," Steve replies calmly.

"What the fuck ever," her tone is callous.

"Please," he begins, his eyes soft, "just come to a meeting, I promise…"

"What! Promise to bring them back?!" Her voice rises again, as she shakes her head in frustration, "You can keep your meetings. If you had listened to Tony…"

She throws the water bottle in her hand across the room angrily as she turns away from him, wrapping her hands around the back of her neck.

"Lexi," his voice is sterner this time, "I'm sorry, but you can't keep doing this."

She turns on her heel, eyes narrowing at him, "Who's going to stop me?"

Steve tilts his head at her, almost challenging, and she inhales sharply before flinging a wooden chair with her hand across the room at him. The man throws his arms up to deflect the incoming assault and the chair splinters into pieces upon hitting his forearms.

"I don't want to fight you," he says in a pleading tone.

"Tough," she almost snarls.

Lexi flings another chair at him which he blocks again and she rushes him before he can realize it and she's connected her right fist with his jaw. The pain in her knuckles is excruciating but she doesn't let it show as she waits for his reaction. He doesn't swing back, only looks down at her small frame with hooded eyes. She shoves his chest, her frustration growing in his refusal to participate in her fight. She yells as she pounds both fists into him again, this time he envelopes her in his arms to subdue her. Tears burn her eyes and Steve only thinks he has the situation under control. Lexi's heartrate increases as she closes her eyes tightly and uses everything inside her to fling the two of them off their feet and onto the ground, sending them both rolling across the floor. Steve starts to get back to his feet, but a force stronger than he's felt before stops him, and he's stuck on his knees as his arms are stretched out beside him, muscles taunt from the strain of him trying to pull free from the invisible force.

"Lexi," his tone is almost a warning, "this isn't you."

"Don't act like you know me Rogers," she seethes as she walks over to him, grabbing a fistful of his hair and jerking his head back to stare at him, rearing back with her right arm, ready to land another punch to his perfect face. He flicks his blue eyes up at her and they stop her cold, for a moment she sees Evan and she feels all the guilt pouring over her. So many things left unsaid, so many chances left untaken. She was the queen of not accepting what was right in front of her, first with Dean, then with Evan. She hated herself for several things and she was taking that hatred out on the man in front of her. It was no more his fault than it was hers, she could have been there with Tony by his side helping him in the fight, she might could have made a difference, but she didn't want to play hero and look where that left her…alone.

She drops her right hand as a tear falls down her left cheek and her lips tremble. Lexi stares at him for a second longer, burning the image of those deep blue eyes with flecks of green into her mind and she clinches her eyes shut as she envisions Evan's longer, shaggier hair and the fullness of his dark beard. She can see him smiling, the way he would when he would watch her do the simplest things like make homemade margaritas or when she'd sit perched on the sink to paint her toenails. He had been in love with her, for a lot longer than she had probably known, but she was far too damaged to accept it. Lexi leans her forehead against the man in front of her as she drops to her knees, releasing the control she has over his body. She releases the grip she has on his hair as she inhales and for a moment, she swears she can smell Evan too, an enticing mix of amber, vanilla, and leather. Lexi realizes Steve has kept his forehead against hers, following her as she settled on her knees in front of him. He's almost a head taller than her in this position, but he's ducked down to keep his forehead flush with hers, as if he's inhaling her scent as well. His breath burns her face and she's a little surprised when she feels his right hand hesitantly lift the hem of her shirt and work its way onto the bare skin of her waist. The touch of his skin on her skin ignites a fire in the deepest, darkest part of her. His left hand works its way into her hair, and he leans back for a moment, staring down at her as a last chance warning. Lexi swallows the lump in her throat as she runs her tongue across her bottom lip quickly before glancing up at him. Their eyes only connect for a moment before his lips crash onto hers hard, much rougher than she would have imagined him capable of and his tongue begins exploring her mouth as she runs a hand up the nape of his neck, pulling him closer to her as they devour each other. The emptiness inside her suddenly starving for the one thing he can give her. It sure as hell isn't love; it's anger, longing, and need, not for each other, but for the ones they lost, because each time they close their eyes, they're seeing someone else staring back at them. They can't move on, but at least in this moment they can help each other forget, if only for a little while.