Alright guys, here we have pure crack. Once again, thank tumblr for it! On a related note, it'll be much lighter than the fic I posted yesterday. Anyway, read, enjoy, and review!

"Tell me!" Martine cried out in frustration, her outburst punctuated by a hard slap to the bedside table as she glared daggers at the woman lying in the bed.

"Over my dead body." Shaw growled out, glaring right back up at Samaritan's blonde bombshell. Though her frustration mounted at the answer, a slight smirk tugged at one corner of her mouth. She reached over for one of the medical instruments that had been used to torture the bed bound agent and a familiar sadistic gleam made its way into her eye. "That can be arranged, agent Shaw."

Shaw's face morphed into a cocky expression that seeped into her voice as she spoke. "That's what you said last time, and the time before that, and the time before that. Should I continue?"

Martine let out a heavy puff of air that ended in a low growl as she squeezed her eyes shut and brought a hand up to rub at the bridge of her nose. After several moments, she looked back up at Shaw. "You know…all of this really is unnecessary. It's just one simple question."

"A question I'd rather be tortured than answer." Shaw dead-panned.

Martine threw her hands up before lapsing into a strange display reminiscent of high school girl behavior. It was a sight Shaw had seen before, and one that never failed to make her feel incredibly awkward.

"Come on!" Martine whined, any trace of her usual menacing demeanor gone. "You have to give me something."

"No, I really don't."

The Samaritan agent ignored Shaw and continued her rambling. "Any idiot can tell there's something going on with you and that psycho." The last word rolled off of her tongue with an intentional measure of disdain in an effort to goad the other woman. Anger flared briefly in Shaw's eyes before she reigned it in and forced a coy smirk onto her features. "And what makes you say that?"

Martine responded with a raised eyebrow. "Do I really need to present the evidence?"

"Please do."

The agent tilted her head up in thought. "Well…you two did look awfully cozy on that motorcycle."

"Oh please? Is that the best you can do?" Shaw scoffed.

"Hardly," Martine's face grew into a devious expression. "You realize we saw that kiss in the surveillance feeds from the Stock Exchange, right?"

Shaw's eyes grew wide with horror. Well shit. Busted. It didn't help matters that Martine was looking at her now like a mouse trapped in a corner by the cat.

"So…now that that's out of the way, there's still one small matter. Details."

"Oh, fuck off." Shaw growled, the horror still evident on her face. She shrunk away from the other woman as she hovered over her with that same predatory smirk.

"Come on, now." Martine tsked, "You know I'll find out sooner or later. It'll be easier to talk now."

Shaw was saved a retort by the sound of a throat clearing from the doorway. Funny, neither of them had registered the door opening in the first place. Both women looked up to see Lambert standing there. Judging by the bemused expression, Shaw gathered he'd been there for a bit.

"What in God's name is going on in here, Martine?" He asked, sounding every bit as baffled as he looked. Martine simply shrugged in response and tossed him her cell phone, looking peeved that she'd been interrupted.

"Oh, shut up and get back to voting."

As Lambert left the room and the two women were alone again, Shaw rolled her eyes. "Are you still stuck on that stupid poll?"

And then there was a strained groan when Martine ignored her and questioned once again,

"Now where were we?"

Oh yes, Shaw was going to enjoy killing this woman.

And that's it! Thank you for reading! I am still hard at work on Tinker, Tailor, Hacker, Spy.