Disclaimer: Gravitation is, by no means, mine. It's Maki Murakami's, and for once I am completely cool with her owning it and not me. She's a god!
Author's Note: Ha! My first Gravitation fic! I never thought I'd see the day, but here it is, and all of you get to share it with me! Huzzah! Hugs all around my friends! Enjoy this little fic for the zaniness that it is. Happy Readings!
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Guggenheim Art
By: Obsidian Sphinx
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"Wait, just flip it over."
Ayaka cocked her head to one side and flipped the picture she was holding over. She concentrated and then shook her head.
"Huh-uh, no, I still can't tell," she said.
Hiro squinted at the photo. "Really? You don't think it looks like his?"
Ayaka chewed on her lip. "No. I would think his would be bigger, wouldn't you?"
"Hm. That's a good point. Hey, just a minute here. Is that a foot? How'd he get that over there?"
Suddenly, the door to their apartment opened to reveal Suguru. The guitarist lifted his head to nod politely at his friend and coworker.
"Hey man, glad you could make it. You gotta take a look at this."
Suguru raised an eyebrow. "Is it really so pressing that you had to call me over here?"
Hiro plucked the picture from Ayaka's fingers and shoved it in his friend's face.
"You're smart. Ayaka and I need your opinion."
Suguru's eyes grew round as he took in the sight. He coughed nervously, trying to keep his composure.
"W-woah," he muttered.
Ayaka nodded sympathetically. "We know," she said.
Hiro pointed to a spot on the photo. "Which one do you think it is here?"
Suguru brought the picture close to his eyes and then held it far away, examining it.
"Maybe it's . . . is that a foot?"
Hiro chuckled. "That's what I said. How is that position even possible?"
A little frown crept onto the younger man's face. "Well, theoretically, if one were double-jointed . . . " he reasoned.
Ayaka looked pointedly at her significant other.
"You're his friend, Hiro. You'd know if he was double-jointed right?"
He shrugged in response. "I didn't think he was, but he is a really wiry guy. I mean, there's not much to him."
Suguru blinked. "Or maybe HE isn't the one that is double-jointed, ya know?"
Both Ayaka and Hiro enjoyed a moment of complete brain freeze before Ayaka pointed to the picture.
"So you're saying that the foot, if it IS a foot, isn't . . . ?"
"It's possible," Suguru assured.
The three huddled around the photo, heads pressed together. Hiro grunted.
"No it isn't. That's just not possible. I mean LOOK at it. Geometry doesn't have a category for that shape," he insisted.
After that comment, Hiro and Ayaka strained their brains to remember their high school geometry, and Suguru thought back to last semester, third period, when he'd taken geometry. They were all so lost in thought that none of them noticed the man flying at record-breaking speeds towards the apartment window. The trio yelped as said man came crashing through the glass, rolled across the floor, and stood up proudly, no worse for wear.
"Good afternoon," K greeted heartily.
Hiro and Suguru waved at him politely, familiar with his dramatic entrances, but it took a bit longer for Ayaka to shake herself out of her shocked stupor. When she did, she scowled.
"Hey, you broke our window," she accused.
K's smile fell a little, and he looked back at the mess on the floor and the obvious lack of glass in the very neatly cut square in the wall. Smiling again, he waved it off.
"Have no fear, ma'am. A little plastic wrap should fix that right up."
Out of nowhere, the blonde man pulled out a magnum and pointed it at them.
Hiro blinked. "You got a new magnum, K," he commented.
Suguru nodded. "It's shiny," he added.
K beamed proudly. "It was Dirty Harry Thursday at the gun depot, and you know how I can't resist a good sale."
He then took notice to the picture clutched in Suguru's hand.
"What's that?" He asked, snatching it away.
Both of K's eyebrows rose and he smirked. "The beast with two backs," he exclaimed.
Now Ayaka, Hiro, and Suguru all crowded around K.
"More like the beast with eight backs," Ayaka mused.
K squinted. "Is that a foot?"
"Gah!" Hiro shouted, exasperated.
Suguru's shoulders slumped. Ayaka sighed.
"Oh dear, it is difficult to say, isn't it?"
Hiro, Suguru, and Ayaka nearly jumped out of their skins to see Seguchi Tohma peering over their shoulders. K only shrugged.
"Hello, boss," He greeted.
Tohma smiled politely. "Good afternoon, K." He then bowed shallowly to the three recovering people next to him.
"What the heck are you doing here, President?" Hiro asked incredulously.
Tohma blinked innocently. "Me? Oh, I saw K come through the window, and I had needed to speak with him, but it seems I've interrupted something. Although, if I may offer my opinion, I'd like to submit that this is, in fact, a foot."
Again, they all crowded around the photo, and K let Tohma take it from him. NG's president proceeded to point out several spots on the picture that supported his theory. All the while Suguru, Hiro, Ayaka, and K all bobbed their heads in understanding.
"Okay, okay. I think I see it," Hiro said. "Here's the leg, and the knee is right there."
"Wait, that's the knee? I thought that was the elbow," Ayaka interjected. "See, right there's the wrist."
Tohma furrowed his brow. "Oh, Ayaka, I think you may have a point. Perhaps that isn't a foot."
"Regardless of whether or not it's a foot, that position is still impossible," Suguru offered.
"Apparently it's not COMPLETELY impossible," K replied.
Suguru pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. "Jeeze, if you look at it too long your eyes start to hurt."
"Yeah," agreed Hiro. "It's like Guggenheim art."
"Maybe it isn't an elbow or a foot," K said suddenly.
"It's a tail," came a shout.
Everyone looked over just in time to see Ryuichi Sakuma tumble through the open window in his ever-present Kumagoro costume.
Tohma smiled. "Ryuichi, do you even know what we're looking at?"
The singer brushed himself off and grinned a mega-watt grin. "Nope! But Kumagoro does, and he thinks it's a tail."
The pop star pulled out his floppy Kumagoro and dangled the plushy, in all of its cotton candy pink splendor, in front of them.
"Here, he'll show you," Ryuichi said, and elbowed his way through them all. "Right here, see? A tail."
The five of them squinted.
"Actually," Hiro started. "Nah, it couldn't be."
Ayaka chewed on her fingernail and looked uncertainly at Hiro. "Could it?" She queried uncertainly.
"No way. I would know if he had a tail," Hiro replied.
"Yes, and I would know if HE had a tail," Tohma said, jabbing a finger at a spot on the photo.
Ryuichi frowned. "But Kumagoro said it's a tail!"
"Sometimes Kumagoro can be wrong," K explained gently.
At this, Ryuichi's face crumpled. "Nuh-uh!" He shouted. "Kuma's never, ever, ever wrong." He shoved Kumagoro in K's face. "Especially about tails, K!"
"Now, Ryuichi," consoled Tohma, but it was too late. Ryuichi had already run angrily from the apartment.
"Aha! I've got it!" Suguru yelled.
"You do?" Hiro asked urgently.
"Tell us," Ayaka commanded.
"Yes, please," agreed Tohma.
"Spill it, kid," yawned K. He had his shiny new magnum pressed up against Suguru's temple.
Suguru smiled nervously. "Is that really necessary?"
"It's Dirty Harry Thursday. Do you feel lucky, punk?" K said.
"I--"
"There it is!"
Everyone looked over in extreme surprise as Shuichi flew in through the window and Yuki burst through the doorway. They were both breathing heavily, eyes alight with anger.
Hiro, Ayaka, Suguru, K, and Tohma all froze as Yuki stocked over to them and viciously grabbed the picture, glancing at it only briefly before tearing it up into tiny, jagged pieces
"How dare you invade our private lives like that," Shuichi said. "You should all be ashamed of yourselves. To think I consider you all my friends, especially you, Hiro. It's just a good thing Yuki noticed that that picture disappeared after your last visit, or who knows what damage you could have done!"
Shuichi sighed and shook his head, and finished his reprimand with, "I am ashamed at all of you. Come on, Yuki."
With that, Yuki and Shuichi left as abruptly as they had come. In the apartment, it was very quiet for a while as each person thought over the event that had just transpired. Finally, Ayaka cleared her throat.
"So . . . where do you think they set up the camera to get that shot of themselves?"
Hiro blew out a breath that caused his bangs to shift. "Am I the only one that finds it weird that they take pictures of themselves at all?"
Suguru shrugged. "I'm still not sure about that position, but an awkward camera angle might help to explain it."
"I wonder if Eiri has more photos like that lying around," Tohma wondered.
"Couple of pervs," K said, and clicked the safety on his magnum. As an afterthought, he added, "I wonder if those pervs feel lucky?"
Meanwhile, Shuichi and Yuki arrived home and collapsed on the sofa. Shuichi sat upright, quietly fuming, while Yuki lay stretched out, his head resting in the other man's lap.
"The nerve," Shuichi garbled.
Yuki merely grunted and reached thin fingers into his pocket to pull out a cigarette and his lighter; he lit it deftly and indulged in a long drag. The smoke wafted upward and Shuichi waved it away as he always did. After several minutes of silence, Yuki tilted his head back to stare up at his lover. Shuichi, feeling the shift, looked down questioningly.
Taking the cigarette from his lips, Yuki asked, "Do you think they noticed the tail?"
-OWARI