So here's my second shot. This one will be considerably longer than the other (9 chapters... for 9 crimes) and I hope you like it. Many thanks to my beta Meagan (incrowder) for editing this chapter. Read, relish, and review!

--Meg

Summary: They never meant to hurt each other. (Addek, Maddison, MerDer,)

Rating: PG-13 for language, adult situations, and innuendo.

Disclaimer: I'm a seventeen-year-old girl from Oklahoma with no money, no job, and no life. I don't have any television awards, I don't have millions of dollars in the bank from creating an awesome TV show, and I definitely don't know Patrick Dempsey. That being said, please don't sue me. The only thing I have worth taking is my DVD collection and my fabulous Grey's calendar. The song isn't mine either.

Spoilers: If you've seen up to "Six Days - Pt 2' (3.12), you're good. Of course I took a little bit of poetic license... And who can even keep up with the actual timeline? So, I kind of made my own.

Chapter One

"Leave me out with the waste, this is not what I do"

She's tired, she decides and puts her head in her hands. It's been a long day and she still has at least another hour to go. She shuts off the desk lamp and rests her cheek on the stack of papers in front of her. She almost sits up when she realizes there will be a beige stain where her make-up will rub off, but then she decides she's too tired to care, so she doesn't move. The door opens. "Mrs. Reed is here." She sighs, but still can't bring herself to move. She's just too tired.

After a few minutes, Addison works up enough strength to push herself onto her bare feet and grimaces as she slides her feet into her newest (and by far most uncomfortable) pair of Jimmy Choos. She loops the pink stethoscope around her neck and smiles. She'll act like she's not tired and not sad; she'll be the perky doctor her patients appreciate her for and the kind person her staff expects her to be.

After all, she's nothing if not a good actress.

…

Derek slides into bed beside her and she feels the heat and dampness from his shower on the back of her thighs. Even though he smells real-life clean and not surgical clean, she can still smell surgery on his wet hair and hospital on his skin.

He doesn't say good night or that he loves her, nor does he wrap his arms around her waist or kiss the back of her neck. She guesses it's because he thinks she's asleep.

…

She meets Mark for lunch in Central Park because it's June and it's warm and Addison wants a hot dog from one of the vending carts and a walk around the park with him. So they walk and Addison eats her hot dog and Mark eats both of his and neither one of them talk even after the wrappers are thrown away and Mark has bought her hot chocolate even though it's 86 degrees outside. She doesn't ask and he doesn't explain. They just sit underneath a giant oak tree and watch the people around them as Addison drinks her juju.

…

She has Sunday off so she sleeps until 9:30 and still beats Derek to the coffee pot and the crossword puzzle in the New York Times. He finally drags himself out of bed at 11:45 and they order Chinese and make small talk while they eat. Addison shows him her new shoes and Derek shows her his new fishing pole and they both try to pretend like they care. Then they decide that they'll spend this anniversary at home with each other and probably Mark for a little while, because it's always been the three of them. Addison is relieved because she doesn't think she can be around Derek by herself anymore. His presence suffocates her and as much as she hates it, she can't change how she really feels.

…

On Monday, the stack of paperwork (complete with an Addison's-cheek-shaped beige stain) still sits on her desk. She still doesn't want to do it, but if there's one thing Addison's learned lately it's that what she wants to do doesn't always translate into what she actually does, so she sits behind her walnut desk and starts signing her name.

After an hour she's made a little bit of progress and she decides to have a rubber stamp of her signature made. All that signing and cramping can't be good for her surgical dexterity.

…

"I'm tired," she tells Mark on their second Central Park lunch date.

He nods. "I can tell." The wind whips her hair around wildly and he reaches over to push it behind her ears. "That little light in your eyes is gone."

She smiles sadly and looks down at her wedding rings. She twists the diamond around on her finger nervously and bites her lip. "Derek wants a baby," she says quietly.

"Do you?"

She shrugs and crosses her arms. "Sometimes I think having a baby would be a lot less lonely… But I don't want to raise a baby alone, Mark. I'm a surgeon. I can't do it alone." She tries to imagine herself with her baby instead of someone else's.

"So, that's a big no to the baby then, huh?" Mark puts his arm around her shoulders and pulls her closer to him.

Addison sighs. "I just..." She pauses. "Right before my high school graduation, I got so jaded. Everything about everyone annoyed me. That's how it is with Derek." Her eyes sting. "We can't stand each other anymore…"

Mark shakes his head. "I'm not exactly the relationship guru or anything… So I'll refrain from giving you any advice." He stops and they watch the wind blow. When he turns back to her, he wipes a tear from her cheek. "You're crying," he says, matter-of-factly.

She bites her lip and wishes she wasn't so stupid. "No…" She smiles at him. "It's just the wind."

…

It's raining big fat drops on Thursday so Mark brings her a sandwich and they have a makeshift picnic underneath her desk. She sighs. "I didn't want to get up this morning," she says. "I had a feeling," she pauses, "and it's raining… So my hair wouldn't do anything." She finger the limp strands. "Things do not bode well."

Mark shrugs. "It's Thursday… June 8."

She nods. "Eleven years today."

"When did that happen?"

She wishes she knew how to answer him.

The door opens but Addison refuses to crawl out from under the desk. "She might be gone to lunch," she hears her receptionist say. "Just leave them on the desk." She only bothers to climb out after she's heard the door close. On the corner of her desk sits a glass vase of eleven red roses. She pulls the card from the plastic stick and opens it. He hasn't even bothered to sign the card himself. She sighs and places the card back in its spot.

"Those are pretty," Mark says from her side. "Are they from Derek?"

She nods. "Yeah." Try as she might, she can't seem to keep the disappointment from creeping into her voice.

"Well," he scrambles for the right words. "That's pretty cool. Eleven roses for eleven years."

She scoffs. "Oh, yeah. Nothing says 'I love you' like a hundred dollar plant that will be dead in a week."

She feels the tiniest bit guilty for saying it.

She feels guiltier when she realizes she doesn't care.