Natsu relaxed his clenched fist allowing it to dangle over his knee. In the pale blue light of the rising sun the raw skin of his knuckles appeared purple. A gust of wind whipped up the green surrounding the castle ruins and tossed his long hair. So much time had passed, yet the turbulent violence forever lay just below the surface of his skin. The darkness which had spread across it had not gone away— a permanent mark of the demon inside. He stretched out his palm and did not wince when the movement made his knuckles sting. The very hand in front of him had plunged into the chest of his best friend taking his breath away forever. He waited for the remorse to swallow him, but it never came. There was no joy in the memory, and no sorrow in the fact he took Lucy with him. Natsu believed there was nothing left of the man she once knew.
"I knew I'd find you here," Lucy said in a voice she only used when they were alone. His head forced to turn toward the sultry sound. She too had changed. Similar markings stretched across her body. His eyes followed a trail down her collar bone where it disappeared behind her low-cut dress. The fabric swished softly against her breasts and hugged the curves of her hips. The markings didn't bother him, but the look in her eyes was unsettling. As if the light had blown out, her eyes appeared a hollow darkness. "Daydreaming?" she asked. Natsu reached a hand out to her. Her boots made little noise as she took his offer and leaned into his touch.
"Are you happy?" Natsu said. The others talked little to them, but when they did it was all orders and respect. Demons never showed their emotions to one another. Lucy knew they feared the two of them. Gray's death was like a ripple in the demonic pond. The most powerful demon known to man had eliminated the last demon slayer. Zeref didn't stand a chance— not like he wanted to. Lucy tried to stop it at first, but when she got her hands on the book it was as though Natsu's very fire flowed through her veins. Her body changed, and her heart followed. She trailed her fingertips across his cheek where the dark mark of E.N.D. remained. She searched his expression, and for a split second thought she would find sorrow.
"Are you?" She hadn't meant to ask him. There was nothing for him to be happy about. Using the power of a demon had destroyed the human and dragon inside. Fairy Tail was forgiving and begged them to return. Jellal had been by many times searching for some humanity left, and she knew Erza would be a wreck for losing Gray, Natsu, and herself. She was sure it killed Jellal to see her that way. If there was any humanity left inside, Natsu hid it well. They could not return to Fairy Tail the way they were now. There was no place for demons in a home of love and friendship. Sometimes she would lay awake at night beside him. The moon like a spotlight on his features soft in sleep. His arm outstretched to find the warmth of her skin even in slumber. Natsu never asked her what she had read in his book. It surprised her that he hadn't opened the book to read it himself. His lack of curiosity was unsettling. Even if he was interested, Lucy doubted he would ever show this to her. She hadn't read his book since, and she wasn't sure she would like what she saw if she did. Before the book had opened, he never talked about his feelings. It made sense for him to continue doing it now. For his sake she would do the same. Natsu leaned into her palm and closed his eyes in surrender. Lucy felt the flicker of ache in her heart but squashed it quickly. Instead, she leaned in to press her lips against his. He startled but relaxed against her. It was always like this. When they spoke of emotions, their actions turned intimate concealing what they truly felt— if they felt anything at all. She lowered herself into his lap wrapping her arms around his neck. Her fingers threaded into his hair making him shiver. There was forever a cloud over them marking their future. Lucy lost herself in the heat of it choosing to bury her troubles in each touch of their skin. His tongue slid into her mouth as if it always belonged there. The lies dancing against their lips. But she knew, even if he hid everything from her, he couldn't hide how he felt about her in every kiss. She parted from him and pressed her forehead against his. Lucy closed her eyes and imagined what life would have been like. If she dreamed hard enough, she could see them running happily to the guild from a mission. She could see their family welcoming them as the doors opened. The soft feeling of sakura blossoms in spring, the smell of fish when the ships came into the harbor, and the sound of the canal outside her open window. She could feel the tears threaten to take her, but she pulled away and stepped back. They felt a presence enter the room before they heard him.
Jellal turned the corner to the last door in the tower where they always met. He would have cleared his throat, but the sight of them gave him pause. Lucy pulled apart from Natsu's grasp and stepped away. His eyes never wavered from her until Jellal fully entered the doorway. There was something in the last looks in their eyes that made his stomach twist in an ache he had not felt in a long time. Every time he met Erza he lied. He would move heaven and earth to keep her from seeing them like this. The threatening sorrow that masked their calm. Their eyes remained cold on his cloaked form.
"How you manage to get past every demon here is beyond me," Lucy said. In the past he would have heard a joking tone from her voice. He would find Natsu laughing alongside her, but there was no joy here. The light that shone so bright was gone. If Lucy's voice was cold, Natsu's sent a menacing shiver across his skin.
"We have no business with you, Jellal," he said, "Don't make me kill you." Jellal half expected there to be a, "please" in that statement. It took him a moment to speak. Was there humanity left in these two? A few months ago, he would have said no. He had found them together many times, and the look in their gazes said it all. The only emotion he could ever read was the passion they had for one another.
"You know why I'm here." He kept his shoulders back and his voice steady. Even if this was Natsu and Lucy, demons would not hesitate to take advantage of any sign of weakness.
"We are not who we once were," Lucy said. Her eyes implored him to leave. Jellal wasn't sure if it was because he had walked in a private moment between them, but he felt the spark of emotion here he thought was long gone. He had to act fast before this opportunity vanished.
"I don't believe that, and neither does Fairy Tail." He always made it a point to bring up their family— to say their names. "Erza asked me to bring back her family, and that is what I'm here to do."
"I murdered one of my family," Natsu said. His eyes seemed to darken on Jellal's face. He felt as though the eyes of E.N.D. could see straight through him. He had to be honest and show no hesitation.
"What choice did Zeref give you?" Jellal asked, "What is done to us is not our fault. It is how we choose to make it right that counts."
"You would know all about making it right wouldn't you, Jellal?" Natsu said. He smirked, but Jellal knew better than to find humor in it and replied without hesitation.
"Absolutely. I chose to believe in a family I thought I had lost forever. Plus, I owe you." Natsu's brows shot up. "You saved my life many times, and Erza's too." There was a shift in the air that unsettled Jellal. Natsu stood from the window and took slow steps toward him. Every cell in Jellal's body told him to run, but he couldn't.
"All of that makes up for Gray's death?"
"Nothing changes Gray's death."
"Killed your own friend too, huh? Know exactly how it feels?" Natsu said. They stood nose to nose. Jellal remembered how tall Natsu had become over the years. His dark markings were sinister and wrapped around his tense muscles. His deep green eyes swirled a turbulent demonic black. "Then you understand why I can't come back."
"Leave," Lucy said. She slid her arm under Natsu's, and her hand splayed against his chest. Jellal didn't even feel her presence when she moved. His eyes widened at her expression as she looked up at E.N.D. Whatever chance Jellal thought he had in sending the pair home had vanished before his eyes. "Now." She emphasized her words with a soft push of power.
"Remember what I said. It's never too late." Before he fazed out of sight, he stood his ground for a moment calling with his eyes for Natsu to understand. It was clear to him that Natsu felt something even if he didn't want to show it, but it was Lucy who he could reach. There was a caring in her eyes for the two, and a reaction to every mention of their family. He would bring them home.
Natsu brushed past Lucy and sat lazily at the window. His muscles untensed, and he let out a breath. A slow stream of smoke slipped past his lips and into the night air. She knew how close he had come to taking Jellal's life and could still feel her heart pounding against her chest. Her body turned to leave when she heard him speak.
"Lucy," he said, "don't go." His voice was different with her— a softness he didn't show often. She sat down next to him at the window and pulled her knees up to her chin. He looked at her for a moment with eyes a clear and deep forest green. She couldn't leave him. Jellal had sparked something in him. There was an understanding between the two men Lucy had forgotten. The confrontation reminded her how close he was to becoming the demon he loathed, and how close he was to regaining everything that he used to be. Natsu was still in there somewhere, and she was determined to bring him back.
This is a companion one-shot to "The Beginning" that is published now. You do not have to read one to get the other. From tumblr: "A quick endlu/nalu fic. I'm still kinda obsessed with the idea of E.N.D., and an alternative ending to Natsu and Gray's fight. In this, Natsu chooses the demon seed to fight Zeref instead of remaining human. Might write one where he chooses the dragon seed. Thought I'd dump this long drabble here. Didn't edit this as thoroughly as I would like, but this was just a quick write anyway. Hope you like it!"