Dean sat in the empty, grungy hotel room he had just checked into. Sam was off on some side mission Bobby scrapped up in the down time. He insisted he could go alone. Dean assumed he was trying to prove his sanity even though Lucifer was still riding shotgun in his noggin'. The lack of company left Dean watching some horrible romantic comedy on the cheap TV in the corner. It only took a few minutes for him to grow bored of it – it was no Dr. Sexy M.D.

He leapt off the squeaky bed pacing around the small room. As always his thoughts trailed back to Cas and Crowley. He wondered how close they were to finding a way into purgatory. Castiel's latest heroic actions of saving Lisa proved he may not be completely corrupt but it didn't change the fact that his new partner happened to be the king of hell.

Cas, you can't seriously trust this douche, Dean thought. I can help you. You know I would do anything.

"It's not a matter of what you would do. It's what you can't do."

Dean whipped around coming face to face with the dark haired angel. Castiel's expression was blank as always.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Dean asked through gritted teeth. "Don't you get this whole enemy thing? We're not supposed to socialize."

He bumped the angel's shoulder as he pushed passed him. He winced inwardly at the pain trickling from his shoulder to his back. For a scrawny guy, Cas sure felt like a boulder.

"Dean, I don't want to be your enemy," Cas told him seriously. "Besides you called me!"

Dean looked offended as he turned around, "Did not!"

"Very mature, Dean. You thought my name."

"I think your name a lot. That doesn't mean I want you eavesdropping on my mind!" Dean spit out instantly regretting his words. "Not a lot, I mean – wait, anytime I think your name, you hear my thoughts?"

Castiel's expression did not change but Dean thought he noticed his cheeks turn a slight shade of pink. "Yes but if it is personal I tune out immediately."

It was Dean's turn to blush. "Well stay out of my damn head! How would you like it if I heard your thoughts?"

Cas took a moment before he answered. "I don't think that would be a good thing. But Dean, I didn't come here to fight. I want to speak with you."

"About what?" Dean demanded. "About how you'd rather trust a demon than me? Or about how –"

"I want you on my side. I want you to be there with me when I open the gateway to Purgatory."

Dean snorted loudly, "Sorry, I don't work with monsters."

There was no denying the pain that flashed across Castiel's face. "I've been called many things in my life but never that."

Dean regretted the words but refused to take them back. "I call it like I see it you. You work the king of Hell, you come up on my radar as a monster."

Cas stared at Dean without blinking. "Since I'm a monster I suppose you will have to – what's the word you use – gank me?"

"I'll do what I have to," Dean told him with an attempt at a nonchalant shrug, "But you know what really grinds my gears? You didn't even try to come to me with this. You went straight to Crowley. I could have helped you! I stopped the apocalypse once, I could do it again!"

"I was not doubting your skills, I merely wanted you –"

"To have a normal life?" Dean asked loudly. "Well that worked out real well, didn't it? My brother was in hell, I was barely hanging on. Where were you?"

"I was there, Dean." Castiel assured.

"Really? Because I didn't see you." Dean shot back. "I think I have it figured out. You didn't think I could handle it. You didn't think you could trust me."

Castiel's voice grew louder, "You are taking this too personally!"

"I don't think I am," Dean insisted and this time he was almost screaming, "I broke in hell and you think I'm weak. Sam thought the same thing so he turned to a demon, started jonesin' for demon blood and freed Lucifer! All that because he thought I couldn't handle it!"

"Dean!" Castiel yelled in an attempt to stop him.

"No! You just listen! I stopped the apocalypse. I couldn't save Sam but if he trusted me he wouldn't be bunk mates with Satan right now!"

"Satan really isn't the correct name –"

"You could have trusted me!" Dean screamed taking a few steps forward. All of his frustration seemed to pour out at once. "You should have come to me! I needed you!"

It was Castiel's turn to yell," And I needed you but I tried to sacrifice my needs and give you a life you deserve and I get called a monster for it!"

Fire seemed to dance in the angel's blue eyes as he glared at Dean. It was an oddly beautiful sight to see Cas this angry. Dean felt a bit hypnotized until Cas began yelling again.

"Someone chooses a different path than you and your first instinct is to kill them! You have a one track mind and it's going to get you killed!"

"By who? You? I'd like to see you try, feather boy."

Castiel lurched forward grabbing Dean's shirt roughly, "You foolish man. I don't want to hurt you!"

"I don't want to hurt you either, Cas!" Dean told him truthfully.

"Really?" Cas asked incredulously as he took a step forward. Their faces were inches apart. "I thought I was a monster and we both know what you do to monsters, Dean!"

"Not you!" Dean challenged as he found himself taking in the angel's features. He never noticed how pink his lips were. He wondered briefly if Cas could read his mind. The thought brought a tint of red to his cheeks.

"Why not? Maybe because I'm trying to do that right thing?" Cas asked as he shook him slightly. "Why shouldn't you just kill me now?"

Dean tried to ignore the flush of heat rising from his skin. He pushed Castiel's hands away roughly, "Because I can't."

"Because you know I am right, Dean!" Castiel yelled as he pushed Dean's chest sending him crashing into the nearby dresser.

Dean growled as he turned to retaliate not caring if he broke every bone in his hand but Castiel was gone. Emptiness flooded his chest which immediately changed to rage, "Damn you, Cas! You aren't right! I love you and I can't hurt you! Is that what you want to hear you feathery coward?"

He betrays me and completely fucks me up and now this moron thinks I won't kill him because I actually agree with him about working with Crowley. How can he think he's right about this? I sure know picked the wrong angel to fall for.

Dean slammed his fists into the nearby wall not even taking the time to make a Hulk reference. He felt like he was on fire.

"What did you say?"

He turned around quickly to find Cas staring at him with a perplexed expression. The amount of emotions running through Dean made him feel like a balloon with too much air. "It's not nice to leave during the climax, Cas."

Castiel took a step towards him, "You love me?"

Dean swallowed hard. "What? No! I mean – yeah, like a brother."

Castiel stared at him seriously, "That's not what you meant, Dean. I heard your thoughts –"

"Stay the hell out of my head, Cas!" Dean bellowed in frustration.

He tried to turn but Castiel gripped his shoulder spinning him back around. Dean was surprised to find Castiel's eyes fill of emotions.

"Dean, I'm an angel –"

"And I'm an Aquarius. Stop stating the obvious, Cas."

"We – we can't be together."

Dean tried to keep his face expressionless. "Don't flatter yourself."

Castiel looked pained as he gripped Dean's shoulder tighter, "It is not one sided, Dean."

The air seemed to disappear around him. They were reaching the point of return. A topic that had to remain unspoken. "Look, I don't know –"

"I am in love with you as well, Dean," Castiel told him in a strained voice. "I feel like this may be the last chance I have to tell you."

The words made Dean freeze. Cas stared deeply into his green eyes. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable. It's perfectly natural when two being spend time –"

Before Dean could process what he was doing he grabbed Castiel roughly, pulling him forward. His lips smashed into his. This time is was Castiel's turn to freeze. Dean worked his lips against his in frustration urging him to move.

Castiel pushed Dean back. He green eyes were full of fear, "Dean –"

"Cas," Dean whispered. "I'm going out on a very thin limb here. Don't leave me hanging. I don't think I could handle it."

Cas opened and closed his mouth. He looked like he was choking, "Dean, I don't know – how."

Realization dawned over Dean. Cas had never been kissed before.

"Follow my lead," he whispered as he grabbed on his Angel's waist roughly.

He pressed his lips against Castiel's softly. Castiel began moving along with him slowly. Dean was surprised to find this small movement sent several shocks through his body. Soon it was a clash of lips, teeth and tongue. In the tiny moments Dean came up for air he found himself moaning Castiel's name.

Dean broke away to kiss down Castiel's cheek then deep within his neck. Never before had he cared to taste someone in this way. Usually it was a couple of kisses then straight to sex. Now he wanted to take in every part of Cas' body. The amazing scent coming from his skin was almost making him dizzy. He didn't notice it at first but soon the moans coming Cas were hard to ignore. Dean was surprised when Cas flipped him again the wall and pressed into him with his stiff member. Dean hissed loudly causing Cas to freeze.

He pulled back, "I'm sorry, Dean. That was inappropriate."

Dean pulled him in again pressing his own rock hard cock again his leg. He saw Castiel's self-control crumble. Their lips met again with much more urgency.

Castiel pulled away to ask, "May I?"

Dean looked at him questioningly then he saw Cas' hand hovering his cock. It twitched in response.

"Oh, God yes."

Castiel shot him a glare, "I don't think we should mention my father during this act."

Dean almost laughed, "Shut up, Cas."

Cas sighed then began moving his hand across Dean's hard member. A moan caught in Dean's throat as he began coming undone by Cas' shaking, inexperienced hand.

"Damn, Cas," he muttered in his ear.

He continued the slow movement until Dean began to shake violently, "Cas, Cas! No. S-Stop!"

Immediately Castiel pulled back, "Did I hurt you?"

Dean gripped his shoulder tightly. After a moment he smiled. "No, I just don't to come in my pants."

The pair exchanged a long glance. Castiel saw the questions in Dean's piercing green eyes. How far were they going to go? A few kisses and heavy petting were one thing but what would happen if they completely let go?"

"There's no going back," Castiel said in a half whisper.

Dean nodded soundlessly. The tension between them began to grow as did the longing.

Cas swallowed hard, "I need you, Dean."

This was enough for him. Dean hurled Cas against the wall attacking his body with wet kisses. Castiel tried to return to favor but Dean had him pinned roughly. Instead of fighting for dominance he threw his head back and began moaning.

At this moment the hotel door opened and Dean heard Sam say, "Turns out it wasn't a vamp nest. I was missing some details – holy crap."

"Need a few minutes," Dean grunted into Cas' neck.

"I – um, okay." He heard Sam bump into something and nearly trip over himself to get out the door.

Within a minute the raincoat, suite and tie hit the floor. Dean raked his nails across Castiel's bare chest and shoulders getting several groans in response.

"Bed," Dean muttered unable to say much else.

He blinked and they were there. Castiel began tearing away Dean's clothes until the green shirt and jeans joined the pile. With shaking hands Cas pulled his underwear to his ankles. He leaned back taking in Dean completely. "You are beautiful."

"I'm not a chick," Dean complained. "Strikingly handsome works –"

Cas shook his head, "Beautiful. Even these scars here. They are all so perfect."

Dean leaned forward, "My turn."

He flipped Cas to his back and yanked his boxers off roughly. He took in the naked angel below him sucking in his breath. Dean understood how Cas felt although he didn't say so. With very little hestitation, Dean gripped Castiel's rigid member causing him to cry out loudly. He stroked him up and down slowly before dipping his head down and swirling his tongue around the head.

Castiel choked out a moan, "D-Dean –"

Dean was surprised to find the precum to be on the sweet side almost like sugar. Although he had never done this before he couldn't deny that it excited him. He decided to take him in deeper.

"I think –"

Dean's swollen lips worked up and down the long shaft. Cas was shaking. "I can't stop it!"

Dean realized then Cas was about to explode. He moved his lips back to the head and sucked hard. Within seconds Castiel's member began weeping into his mouth. Castiel let out a slur of moans and words that were probably not of human origin. Dean hungrily swallowed the cum in his mouth once again. It was almost like candy.

Cas stared down at Dean, "I'm sorry. That was quick."

Dean chuckled, "You're a virgin. It happens."

Castiel slid down lower between Dean's legs coming face to face with his erect, dripping cock. This time he didn't ask permission as he took it deep into his mouth. Dean moaned loudly. HE had several partners – probably too many – but none had ever made him feel this way.

"For a novice, you – you aren't half bad."

Castiel's motions became faster and deeper. The speed he moved had Dean grabbing fistfuls of the sheet below them. He couldn't believe the tingles that were already running through his body. He felt like a teenager again. "Damn, I'm going to come, Cas."

He pulled off immediately, "Is this how you would like to ejaculate?"

"Geez, Cas don't be so romantic about it. What did you have in mind?"

Cas swallowed hard, "I was hoping to be joined."

Dean's cock twitched. He stared down at his angel whose mouth still hovered inches from his throbbing cock. "I don't know, I'm kind of liking this view but I bet it would get better if you flipped over."

Cas did as he was told. Dean took a moment to check out Cas from the backside. The view was amazing. Dean licked his finger then let it trail over Castiel's extrance. Slowly he slid the finger inside. Cas sighed lightly. Dean took this as reassurance and added another finger. He began pumping them in and out until Castiel was moaning loudly.

"I need to be in you. Now," growled Dean. His cock was so hard now it was getting painful

"Yes," Castiel begged.

Dean didn't need to be told twice. He lathered his cock with saliva then positioned himself. Slowly he pressed into Castiel.

"Don't worry, Dean, you won't hurt me."

Dean tried to say okay but it came out as a long, "Mmmmm."

Cas began moaning again, "Faster Dean!"

Dean smiled amazed by Cas' tightness. "As you wish."

With that be began pumping into him quickly. Everything about this felt right and amazing until Dean realized looking at the back of Castiel's head was annoying him.

"I'm about to sound like such a chick," Dean murmured.

"What is it?" Castiel asked breathlessly.

Dean sighed, "Can you flip over? I want – God, I can't believe I'm saying this – I want to do missionary. I want to-" He trailed off.

A rare smile flashed across Castiel's face as he pulled away from Dean and flipped over. "I wanted to see your eyes as well."

"Stop with the mind crap!"

Castiel's blue eyes found his favorite green one and immediately latched on. Dean reentered Castiel with a few strokes causing several moans from both of them.

"Faster, Dean." He begged again.

Who was he to deny an angel? Dean began sliding in and out of Castiel faster and harder. He looked down and saw Cas was once again hard as a rock. Dean grabbed his cock roughly stroking it between thrusts.

"Mmm Dean, y-you are good at this."

Dean tried to respond but it came out as long groan. The look on Castiel's face every time he slammed into him was almost enough to finish him. He was surprised at his lack of control.

"It's going to happen again, Dean. Really soon. I-I can feel it."

Dean made a point to stroke his cock faster. The sounds Castiel was making told him he appreciated the attention.

Cas stared deeply into his eyes, "It's – I'm – Now!"

Dean wanted to look down at Castiel's weeping cock but he couldn't tear his eyes away from his face. It strained in the most beautiful ways as a warm liquid shot over both of them and the hotel bed. This was too much for Dean. His body shook violently as he began unloading into Castiel. White stars appeared in front of his eye as he screamed his angel's name.

With that, Dean crashed down on top of Castiel not bothering to pull out of him. They lay like this for several minutes until Cas rolled Dean to his side.

"We should probably get cleaned up."

Dean smiled brightly. "Give me a minute and we can go again."

Cas returned the smile but it did not reach his eyes. He grabbed a towel out of the bathroom and used it to wipe off his chest. He put on his underwear and pants.

"Where's the fire, Cas? You're making me feel like a cheap hooker." Dean said with a nervous laugh.

"I have to go Dean. Please do not be offended. I am quite satisfied."

Dean looked taken back as he stood up. "What's going on?"

"I have business to attend to." Castiel said simply as he pulled on the rest of his suit and trench coat.

"Purgatory business? After everything we just – you're still running off to find purgatory?"

Castiel frowned, "I'm thinking of the greater good. I thought maybe this would change your mind if anything-"

Dean turned and punched the cheap hotel wall. When he looked back at Cas his eyes were almost tearful. "So what was this? Did you have sex with me to get me on your team?"

"No, Dean you misunderstood me. Please do not think that."

Castiel tried to pull him into an embrace but Dean shoved him away. "I gave myself to you in a way I never have with anyone in my ENTIRE life and five seconds after we're done you are running back to Crowley? You thought you could change my mind. I am a moron sometimes."

Cas stared at him with fearful eyes. He tried to reach for him again but was once again pushed away. "Dean, I don't say things correctly sometimes. What just happened between you and I had nothing to do with the war. I have felt this way about you before there was a war to fight. I love you, Dean."

"Then don't do it," Dean begged. "Please, Cas. I can't fight you – not after this. We broke walls that can't be rebuilt. Please do not make me do this."

Castiel stared at Dean for a long time then finally said, "I won't do it, Dean. I will tell Crowley I'm out. "

"Are you messing with me?"

"Not at all."

A wide grin formed on Dean's face. He grabbed Castiel pulling him into a tight embrace. When they separated Dean saw a few tears leaking out of his eyes. "What is it, Cas?"

"Kiss me, Dean," Castiel demanded. "Right now and tell me how you feel about me."

Dean looked perplexed but did as he was told. He pressed his smooth lips against his angel's and the pair didn't separate for a long time. Finally Dean pulled away. "Cas from the moment I met you I knew you were something special. Not just special for me but special for this fragile, broken world of ours. You saved me and not just from hell – you saved me from myself. I need you. Every single part of you, even the stupid part that makes reckless deals with demons. Sorry, losing focus – Cas, I love you and I never want this to end."

Cas continued to look grim, "I love you, Dean. More than you will ever be able to understand."

Dean cocked an eyebrow, "You're kind of freaking me out, man. Is everything okay?"

Castiel nodded then grabbed Dean roughly pulling his body close. He could see Dean's passion returning and knew he had to stop soon before he lost all will power. He pressed his lips to Deans for one long moment then he placed a hand on his head and Dean fell unconscious. Castiel easily picked him up placing him on the messy bed. He dressed him quickly letting his fingers dance across the beautiful masterpiece in front on him.

A knock on the door told him Sam had returned. Castiel quickly wiped the tears from his eyes.

"Am I okay to come in?"

"Yes, you are fine Sam."

Sam peeked through his hands and sighed in relief when he saw them both with clothes on. "Is Dean sleeping?"

"No I just wiped his memory of all the events which took place in the last hour."

"What? Why would you do that Cas?"

"Because your brother and I had sex and confessed our love for each other and now we must do battle. It is unfair to put him in that situation with those memories."

Sam frowned deeply, "But you still have them, Cas."

Cas nodded, "And they will always be my favorite. My own personal Heaven and Hell, in fact."

Sam opened his mouth to talk but Cas simply placed a hand on his head and he fell forward. Castiel helped him into the opposite bed. He did a quick sweep to make sure all signs of him were gone then he turned invisible to them and waited.

An hour passed before they stirred. Dean awoke first with a long yawn. He glanced over at Sam who was starting to move around. "Hey when did you get back?"

Sam sat up looking sleepy. "I don't know – a few hours ago, maybe?"

Dean sighed rubbing his face, "Sammy, we need to get you put back together."

"I'm fine," he insisted.

"No, you aren't but you'll get there. Come one let's get some – what the hell?"

Sam jumped up, "What is it?"

Dean looked disgusted as he raised his hand. Sam stared at the thick fluids on it.

"Gross, Dean!"

"It's not mine! I swear – although I do kinda feel like I got laid."

"If that's not enough reason to get another room, I don't know what is."

Dean nodded and wiped his hands on the blanket looking disgusted. The pair grabbed their stuff and headed toward the door.

"I gotta take a leak real quick. I'll meet you outside."

Sam nodded, "Hurry up. I'm starving."

Dean used the bathroom and started to head out the door when he paused. He turned around staring at the empty room. He swore someone was watching him. "Cas?" he asked feeling silly. When he got no response, Dean sighed and shut the door.

Castiel stared at the place where his hunter was standing. A horrible longing filled his belly, one he knew he could not fix. "I'll see you soon, Dean."