Disclaimer: I know the words to "Best Friend" and I know I don't own the Mentalist.
This is set somewhere during season three. I have been very busy, what with school and the talent show my cousin signed me up for. This came to me after our performance, if you can call it that. I have writer's block on my story Red Cuff Links. If you have any suggestions as to how the gang will find Partridge, please let me know in the Red Cuff Links review page. So, here's chapter one of my new story:
Patrick Jane wanders into the bullpen with a goofy smile plastered on his face. He is wearing the same clothes he wore the day before and it is now two a.m. He had just been woken, by a dump truck outside, from a marvelous dream starring the unforgettable cute-as-a-button Teresa Lisbon. He fails to fall back to sleep, so he instead saunters into the kitchenette in search of tea. In the middle of his noiseless tea making, a shrill screech emerges from the darkness. He rolls his eyes at his foolishness, realizing it is only his cell phone. He pulls it from his pocket and frowns at the number. Nonetheless, he still answers.
"Please don't ruin my day this early," Jane snivels.
"Patrick," a girl's worried voice replies. "Crazy Johnny has, been killed!"
"You kill him?" he asks with determination, no sign of sympathy.
"No! It's a… mystery. I only called you because it happened in Lensdale. The park."
"AG's friends with the mayor?"
"And CBI will be called in."
"Fine." Jane grumbles in torment.
"Thank you, Pa-"
Jane hangs up before she can complete her sentence. There is now a devious scowl replacing his mischievous smile. He drops the phone and yanks the boiling kettle from the stove. He silently slings the scalding vessel against the wall, accidentally-on-purposely slamming into the coffeepot in the process. He then empties his much-loved tea bags into the disgusting garbage can.
He shudders and removes the jacket from his three-piece-suit. He strides back to his resting area. Jane lets out a quick-tempered groan and flops onto his couch. Shortly after, a penetrating echo exasperatingly awakens him. The elevator. Cho ambles in, barely noticing the distraught consultant laying on the couch. Jane sits up as his collaborator toddles by. He tiredly runs his fingers through his curls. Cho sets his things down then retreats to the kitchenette. Seconds later, he storms back out, brandishing a broken percolator. He face is red as he shakes the shattered object while Grace and Rigsby mosey into the pen.
"The coffee!" Rigsby screams as Grace simultaneously shouts, "Are you okay?"
The couple shares a surprising glare, then return as a concerned gaze toward Cho. He swallows then speaks.
"I'm okay. But the coffee's exploded all over the wall in there," he turns to Jane. "With the tea."
Before all eyes focus on Jane, Lisbon barges in with a case file. For a short moment, she glares between the busted coffee machine and the flustered specialist. She then shakes her head in an attempt to erase her strange thoughts. She lets out a rattled sigh and opens the folder on the conference desk.
"Ahem." She clears her throat, beckoning everyone to crowd around. Everyone excluding Jane gathers over. Jane doesn't even look over. "A middle-aged man was found several hours ago, burnt on a bench, in… Jane, are you listening?"
Jane stands up and laboriously marches to Lisbon. He reaches in her pocket and turns away with the keys to the SUV. He jingles them over his shoulder as he grumbles in monotone to the team.
"Don't even try to convince me. It's a case. Let's go to Lensdale."
He has disappeared before Lisbon can open her mouth. Cho turns to her.
"He deadpanned." He speaks with his usual expressionless voice.
"Freaky." Rigsby agrees.
"Boss?" Grace questions. "Why are we assigned? Lensdale's awhile away. An it's a small community, not even a real city."
"AG's old friends with Lensdale's mayor," Lisbon mutters. "What's with Jane?"
Prior to any responses, an abrupt racket emerges from the parking lot. An engine is revving. The earsplitting purr is accompanied by an unnecessary deafening blast. The horn is continuous, as if someone were leaning on it. This causes a great mass to gather at the northern windows on various floors. Lisbon passes to file to her second-in-command and covers her ears as an expressive and more vociferous siren is now escorting the horn and engine. She signals for Van Pelt to come along on this adventure then disappears down the stairs. Cho does not stay long before passing the file along to the junior agent, covering his own ears and following his boss. Grace grimaces then simply hands the file to the beaming Rigsby, not bothered by the noise (because he had already 'borrowed' Grace's earmuffs earlier), who gratefully accepts.
As the duo commences to descend, the siren dies down and the horn completes its racketing distraction. In the lot, Lisbon stands beside the driver's window of the van. She urges Jane to roll down the glass. He shifts the vehicle into park and obeys her orders.
"Got any problems?" Lisbon asks dryly.
"No." Jane replies quickly.
"You should let me drive."
"No."
"Jane, I'm serious. I think – "
"Just get in the van." He snaps. "We're already late."
"Excuse me!" She corrects. "I am the boss of this team – "
"And not the boss of me." He retorts. "Now, get in here. Or we leave without you."
Lisbon glances past him, to the back seat, where the rest of her team sits in shocked stillness. She crosses her arms, steps back and rolls her eyes.
"Cho, Van Pelt, Rigsby." She calls. "Get out of that van."
Cho reaches for the handle, but Jane immediately presses the 'lock' button instead. Jane glowers at Lisbon, the same coined glare she uses on her team.
"We don't have time for stupid games, Teresa." He heatedly seethes.
"You're bluffing." Her voice wavers, taken aback by the venom in his voice.
Jane tosses a key chain to her. "Take my car."
He rolls up the window and speeds away. The team – counting Lisbon – is entirely dumbstruck. Lisbon huffs with arrogance and makes her way to the, in her opinion junky, Citroen. After several minutes of intense silence, Rigsby perks up.