Credits: "Angel of Mine" is a beautiful song written by Travon Potts and Rhett Lawrence, and sung by Monica; this story is based on Frank Capra's "It's a Wonderful Life"; and, you know, I don't own the characters...
Scenario: This story is set right after "A Knight to Remember".
Last but not the least: thank you so much to all of you who reviewed my first story. Most of you write fan fiction, too, so you know how much it means. I hope you enjoy this one quite as much as you enjoyed "Redemption".
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It's 3:00 am and the manor is completely silent. Leo is standing beside his bed, watching Piper sleep: it breaks his heart to see that she has clearly cried herself to sleep.
They had been planning this romantic night for over a month; but that was before the fights began. When he thinks about the last couple of weeks, Leo can't say when exactly things started to go wrong; all he knows is that it's been one of those periods when nothing seems to go right, and during which he saw his wife cry quite a few times.
To make things worse, one week ago another of his charges got in major trouble with a very powerful warlock. Leo was away from home for the last five days, and before the warlock was finally vanquished, many lives were lost: the girl that had started the whole mess, three other witches related to her, and another Whitelighter that was only trying to help.
Leo can't help but think that, maybe, if he had handled things differently... It's impossible to know, yet he's tormented by guilt, thinking of the five innocents that died under his command.
Yet Piper never lost hope, trusting he'd make it on time to celebrate their first anniversary. Knowing his wife as he does, Leo is sure that, when he didn't show up, she thought he was still mad at her because of their last fight. He saw the untouched dinner in the trash, along with the candles and the flowers that had adorned the table. He knows Paige is spending the night at a friend's apartment, and Phoebe and Cole are having their own romantic night somewhere else. Leo wonders how long Piper waited, all alone in the silent manor, wearing her new dress, bought specially for the occasion, watching as the minutes slowly turned into hours, inexorably marked by the grandfather's clock: nine, ten, eleven, midnight... How long until she finally accepted the fact that her husband wouldn't be home for their first important occasion as a married couple?
Leo's eyes are filled with tears as he, instead of changing and getting into the bed, orbs out, too anguished to sleep, needing some time to think things over. He doesn't see Piper shiver in her sleep and mutter:
"Leo?... Honey?..."
When she gets no answer, Piper sighs and slips back into an agitated sleep.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Leo orbs to an empty shore, where he finds a rock on which he can sit and watch the sea. The full moon bathes everything in a silver light, but he's too unhappy to take notice of the beauty that surrounds him. Though usually Leo is smart enough to know that ruminating old problems doesn't help solving the present ones, today he feels too depressed to be reasonable, and soon he's making an inventory of all the things that went wrong during the past few months.
Prue's death is on the top of the list of things that went wrong... except that saying that things went wrong in that case is the understatement of the year, Leo thinks bitterly. What kind of Whitelighter can't avoid the exposure of his charges, then tries to fix it by making a deal with the Source himself, for crying out loud, and finally orbs to the freaking Underworld, leaving two witches exposed and with no directions, at the mercy of the Source's own personal assassin?
Leo wipes the tears from his face, the tears that he has hidden from Piper. He just can't bring himself to tell her that he feels that he failed Prue on that terrible day. And not just Prue: over the last weeks, Leo has felt more and more that he failed all of them. Paige, whom he should guide and help, but whose trust he's yet to gain. Phoebe, always struggling with Cole's demon self, expecting help that he can't provide, unwilling to deal with someone of Cole's kind. And specially Piper, who could have married a normal guy, a mortal that could grow old along with her, who would be there for her on all important occasions, someone with a real job, that she could introduce to her friends, and wouldn't be summoned by the Elders in the middle of dinner.
"Another Whitelighter," he sighs, "a decent Whitelighter. That's what they need, that's what they deserve. How presumptuous of me, to think I was qualified to be the Whitelighter of the Charmed Ones..."
"So," says a voice coming from behind him, "you're the famous Leo Wyatt."
Leo turns around with a startle, and sees a girl who can't be more than fifteen, sitting a couple of steps behind him and watching him with a friendly smile.
"Who are you? How do you know my name?"
"My name is Diana," she says, "And I've heard a lot about you. Everybody has."
Leo raises an inquisitive eyebrow and she explains:
"The Whitelighter of the Charmed Ones, the one that married a witch, that deals with a demon on an everyday basis."
"Fine," he says, still suspicious, "so, you know me. But who are you, Diana?"
"I'm a Whitelighter, too." she says, with a confident smile. "I mean, I'll be one, as soon as I convince the Elders that I can handle it. They say I'm too young, but I know I..."
"I see where this is going to." says Leo, with an ironic smile. "Look, Diana, I died just a few years before It's a Wonderful Life opened, but I'm familiar with the story of the angel that had to earn his wings by convincing the disenchanted man that the world would be a worse place if he hadn't been born: no offense, but you'll have to find another way to get your wings."
"Please, Leo!" says Diana, "At least let me try! Come on, just give me one chance and..."
"Try what, Diana?" says Leo, in a tired voice. "I'm sorry to disapoint you, but I'm not about to jump of a bridge, nor to abandon my mission: I'm not the kind of man who turns his back on his calling. Thus, I'm afraid your help isn't necessary here."
"But you've lost your faith." says Diana, gently.
Leo averts her eyes, flustered, and stares at the sea.
"Oh, Leo!" says Diana. "You can't do that: that's almost as bad as taking your own life, or abandoning your mission. You know that a Whitelighter's power is based on love: if you give up on love, what kind of Whitelighter will you be?"
"I never gave up on love." says Leo, sadly. "I just..."
"Gave up on hope." says Diana, moving to sit beside him. "And how can love survive without hope? Leo, if you don't trust yourself, how will your charges trust you?"
As Leo won't answer, she proceeds, softly:
"That's what makes you so special, Leo. You never lost hope, never stopped believing in the goodness in people's hearts."
"And look where it got us..." says Leo, bitterly.
"If that's what you think," says Diana, resolutely reaching out and taking his hand, "then you really need to take a look at what would have happened if things were different."