This was my first fanfiction. Its Aurikku. I edited it, and put Rikku's part in as another chapter.
Disclaimer I do not own Final Fantasy or its characters.
Auron
At first, I was ashamed for them to know about… my condition, that I was unsent; every one of them would have treated me different. I didn't want to get close to any of them. I never wanted to hurt any of them, especially her…
I don't know what it was at the beginning, but it was there, painfully it was there, because she was there.
I, I thought she would never see me, never really see me. Most nights I would lie awake and think of her… she was all I could think about. Was I a pervert, a pedophile for lying awake at night, fantasizing about her? I felt like one. What was she 15 or 16 maybe? Just a kid, and in my mind I had taken her, devoured her, and come back for more a thousand times.
She was something I never thought I could have, she was unattainable, unreachable. I, I blamed her for it; I blamed her because I couldn't have her. I was cruel and mean to her, because I blamed her, for something that was my own damned fault. I thought she would never forgive me, but she did, and she shouldn't have.
The first time I realized my feelings towards her wasn't one sided was when the Al-Bhed Home was destroyed. It was cool on board the airship, and we were going to rescue Yuna. Every one seemed fine except for Rikku, she definitely was not herself. She usually was perky so full of life, now she was cold, distant, quite, a mere shadow of the Rikku we all knew and had grown to love. She was in some kind of living purgatory. Hours before we reached Bevelle I was walking along the hall, keeping to myself as usual, when I saw her. She was leaning against the wall crying. Her forehead pressed against the wall, and her hands bunched into fists hanging limp to her sides. I walked to her.
"Rikku, are you alright?" I asked more to announce my presence than to find out. Hell I knew she wasn't alright. Anyone could tell that by looking at her. She did not respond only turned towards me, tears streaming down her cheeks. She stood there a second before letting her gaze fall to the floor. I stepped closer and put my hand on her shoulder.
"Does it ever stop hurting? Does losing so many that you care for ever stop hurting?" she asked her voiced weak and dry. What could I say to that? I didn't know what to say.
"No, the pain… it will become less over the years, but it never vanishes completely." I said, she looked up, her beautiful green eyes meeting my one eye. Then tears began to flow again. I pulled her convulsing form to me, and held her. She was so fragile yet beautiful. Suddenly she pulled away and looked up at me once again.
"Auron, I know that you probably don't really care, but, but will you stay with me tonight? I, I need you."
I was shocked by her question; I didn't know how to respond. Could I trust myself with her? Was this what she really needed? I didn't know, but I couldn't stop myself from what I did next. I grabbed her fiercely pulling her to me. As she collided with my chest, she exhaled sharply. I thought I had knocked the wind out of her. "I'll stay." I said, "I'll stay."
Time passed as it always does, days to weeks, and weeks to months. During that time we became closer. We had been together close to three weeks when I told her that I was unsent. She didn't care, now she wanted to spend every waking moment with me. Did I deserve this? Did I deserve to be happy for this much time?
We had been traveling for months when we reached Zanarkand. That's when I began to wonder things… things about her… things about being sent. I wondered who she would meet and fall for after I was gone? Who would take my place? I wanted her to be happy and in a way I wanted her to find someone new, some one to love after I was gone, but in a way I wanted her to wait until we could be together again. Was that selfish of me? I wondered what it would feel like to be sent. Would it hurt or would it be pleasant?
The night before we fought Sin we lay in bed and talked. We were on board the airship, in the room where we had first found each other. That's when I made her the promise, the promise I don't know whether I'll be able to keep.
"Auron, is this the end? Is this the last time we will be here together?" she asked as she laid her head against my shoulder. Her soft golden hair, tickling against my cheek with each breath. Her hand laying lazily on my chest.
"I think so." I said. I knew the next day we would fight Sin and then I would be sent. I couldn't lie to her, I love her too much.
"Can't you stay a little longer?"
"No, I, I, can't. You do not know how much I wish I could but I can't."
"Can I go with you?"
"No, Rikku you can't. Not yet, when it's your time you can, but for now you have to stay." I said not meaning to sound cruel. "Rikku, no matter what I will make it back to you someday. We'll be together again someday, I promise."
"I know." She said as she kissed me. I pulled away.
"Rikku I will always be with you. I'll go wherever you go. I won't be alive, but I will be with you."
"Thank you." She said as she kissed me again. The memories we made that night I will remember for an eternity or longer. We held each other and made love as if it was the end.
The next day we fought Sin and won. The battle was long and hard, but eventually it ended. Then I knew it was my time. I had to go. The sending began and I barely could contain my emotions, I didn't want to leave her, I didn't want to leave Spira for the first time since I was killed. I now had a reason to live, but I couldn't live because I was already dead.
"Auron, e femm fyed vun oui. E muja oui." (Auron, I will wait for you. I love you.) She whispered before I faded away into a mass of Pyreflies.