Worst Pairings ever, YuGiOh Style.
By: Toby-Chan
Summary: Ever notice how some authors like to pair two characters together, Soley for the fact that they're male? Like Angst, melodrama and all that good stuff? Then this is a parody for you!
A/N: Erm, this is a parody of angsty shonen ai pairings. It's just meant for a little fun, so don't take offense. It's my own favorites I'm poking at anyway. It's intended to be terrible, so don't expect a ton. And the Anzu bashing is also a part of the parody. (I like Anzu. Really, I do!)
Enjoy!!! ^_^
* ** *
"So I'll see you tomorrow then?" Anzu's voice cheerily asked through the tinny phone.
"Sure," Yami replied unenthusiastically, "It's a date."
"Great!" She sqeualed, like the clueless airhead she was.
Yami set down the phone, and buried his hands in his face. He had a date with Anzu planned for tomorrow, so why wasn't he happy? Why?
He rolled back on his bed and looked up at the cieling, trying to connect the dots in order to find some sort of holy sign that could help him. All he could see was a duck.
"Dammit." He mumbled, "They could at least send me a divine image of a penguin or something."
He was trying to find comfort, but all he felt was angst. It felt as though a million gothic fangirls were yanking on his limbs in each direction, driving him to do insanely melodramatic things like... like...
Cry!
So he did. He began to sob, as he fished under his pillow for the picture of his loved one... his true loved one. His teardrops landed on the carefully framed photograph.
But he knew his feelings were forbidden... god that turned him on!
"Yami!" Yugi called, barging through the door at an opportune moment. Yami quickly slid the picture back under his pillow, and brushed the tears out of his eyes, which was an overly obvious action, but Yugi, being an innocent background character to the plot, didn't seem to notice.
"Yami! I need a little help with my algebra homework. I figured you'd know, what with the Egyptians inventing algebra and all."
"Did we?" A forlorned look crept over the pharaoh's face.
"I think so. Or was it the Babylonians? Or the Phoenicans? Or the- Hey!" He suddenly noticed the raining stream of tears on Yami's face, "Are you crying?"
Yami got shifty eyed. He didn't want to worry his Hikari.
"Ah, I , er- no! I was just... using my eye drops... and they stung a little. See?" He grabbed a bottle from the window sill and squeezed the liquid it into his eyes, immediately extracting a screech of pain.
"Yeaaaargh! Ow ow ow ow!"
"Well no wonder it stings, Yami." Yugi said grabbing the bottle, "This is lemon juice."
"Owowowowowowoooow!!" Was all the darker side could manage, clawing at the air, and trying to get out the stinging acid.
"I'll go get you the first aid kit," The ever-resourceful Yugi declared, springing up and out the door.
Somehow, as Yugi left the room, Yami miraculously forgot his pain to make way for a moment of drama. He pulled the picture out from his pillow again and gazed at it affectionately (And blurrily).
"Sukogoku..." He whispered.
* *
*
Sukogoku returned home from shopping with a small amount of groceries. They didn't really need any food in the house, but doing the small tasks helped him keep his mind off of what was really hurting him.
"I'm home." He called half heartedly, bringing the grocery bag into the kitchen. Nobody answered.
"It's just like always. Nobody is there to love me. I'm deeply wounded with sorrow and angst. Woe is me." He announced to nobody in particular. He ignored what he had read once about talking to oneself being the first sign of insanity, and continued his mournful conversation,
"If only you knew." He sighed, "If only you loved me back...Yami."
He unloaded the cereal boxes, and milk and cans of soup. Just as he brought out the jar of horseradish, he didn't know what came over him, but he dropped it, letting it (In heartwrenching slow motion of course) drop to the floor and shatter into a million pieces.
He fell to his knees (Which isn't really that much of a fall, considering his height) and began sobbing.
"I can't do anything right. And that was the best horseradish. I spent hours comparing jars to find that one!"
Forunately for him, a certain pharaoh was strolling by, whistling a tune. (Whether or not he really was whistling "Mary Had a little Lamb" is up for argument.) He saw his love crying on the floor and instantly went to his side.
"Motou-Sama. What's wrong?" He asked, with a tender dreamy compassion in his face.
Sukogoku looked up to see his dearest, concerned and worried. Wait... concerned *and* worried? isn't that redundant? No matter!
"Yami." He choked, through his tears of joy and sorrow, "I'm sorry."
"For what?" A clueless look swept Yami's face.
"For loving you."
[Cue: Thunderbolt]
"Wha- Wha?" Yami stuttered, knowing well what Sukogoku had just said, but it was so much more fun being a tease about it.
"I'm sorry. I know you're disgusted by it. I know you're in love with Anzu, and I didn't want to get hurt, but still."
"No. You're wrong. I think Anzu is a bitch."
Sukogoku's eyes widened.
"You really think so?"
"Yup!" Yami joyfully declared, "I also think she's a [censored] [censored] [cencored], and a [cencored]-y [cencored] too! Plus she's a- uh... boogerhead!"
"Oh Yami! I'm so glad you feel that way! I also think Anzu is a [cencored] [cencored] [cencored] who deserves to [censored] her [cencored] little [cencored]."
"Hey, hey, now! Let's not get too harsh. I'm sure that little [cencored] has feelings too."
"I guess you're right. But Yami-"
"Yes?"
"How do you feel about me?"
"Isn't it obvious?"
"...."
"I love you, dearest! I love everything about you! Your hair, your eyes, your smile! To me, you're more than Yugi's grandpa. You're my true love! I'd give up everything for you!"
"Even that fluffy teddy bear named Snookums?"
"... Well... not *everything*."
And akward silence followed, hastily filled by Yami,
"Well, the point is, I love you, right?"
"Yes!"
Yami grabbed Sukogoku roughly about the shoulders and drew him closer.
"Suko-Chan-"
"Yami!"
They moved closer. Closer, and closer. Their noses touched-...
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Yami sat up roughly in his bed, a cold sweat developed around his neck, out of fear from his nightmare. He breathed heavily.
'A- a dream. It was just... a dream.'
He felt an arm tighten around his waist. A muffled voice came drowsily from the pillow beside him,
"Honey, come back to bed." The voice muttered.
"I will Pega-Chan. I just had the wierdest dream..."
"You can tell me about it in the morning."
"Yeah..." He said, and nestled back to sleep besides Pegasus.
~End~
A/N: Now, ah- ah-, how you say?- Ah, yes! REVIEW!!!
By: Toby-Chan
Summary: Ever notice how some authors like to pair two characters together, Soley for the fact that they're male? Like Angst, melodrama and all that good stuff? Then this is a parody for you!
A/N: Erm, this is a parody of angsty shonen ai pairings. It's just meant for a little fun, so don't take offense. It's my own favorites I'm poking at anyway. It's intended to be terrible, so don't expect a ton. And the Anzu bashing is also a part of the parody. (I like Anzu. Really, I do!)
Enjoy!!! ^_^
* ** *
"So I'll see you tomorrow then?" Anzu's voice cheerily asked through the tinny phone.
"Sure," Yami replied unenthusiastically, "It's a date."
"Great!" She sqeualed, like the clueless airhead she was.
Yami set down the phone, and buried his hands in his face. He had a date with Anzu planned for tomorrow, so why wasn't he happy? Why?
He rolled back on his bed and looked up at the cieling, trying to connect the dots in order to find some sort of holy sign that could help him. All he could see was a duck.
"Dammit." He mumbled, "They could at least send me a divine image of a penguin or something."
He was trying to find comfort, but all he felt was angst. It felt as though a million gothic fangirls were yanking on his limbs in each direction, driving him to do insanely melodramatic things like... like...
Cry!
So he did. He began to sob, as he fished under his pillow for the picture of his loved one... his true loved one. His teardrops landed on the carefully framed photograph.
But he knew his feelings were forbidden... god that turned him on!
"Yami!" Yugi called, barging through the door at an opportune moment. Yami quickly slid the picture back under his pillow, and brushed the tears out of his eyes, which was an overly obvious action, but Yugi, being an innocent background character to the plot, didn't seem to notice.
"Yami! I need a little help with my algebra homework. I figured you'd know, what with the Egyptians inventing algebra and all."
"Did we?" A forlorned look crept over the pharaoh's face.
"I think so. Or was it the Babylonians? Or the Phoenicans? Or the- Hey!" He suddenly noticed the raining stream of tears on Yami's face, "Are you crying?"
Yami got shifty eyed. He didn't want to worry his Hikari.
"Ah, I , er- no! I was just... using my eye drops... and they stung a little. See?" He grabbed a bottle from the window sill and squeezed the liquid it into his eyes, immediately extracting a screech of pain.
"Yeaaaargh! Ow ow ow ow!"
"Well no wonder it stings, Yami." Yugi said grabbing the bottle, "This is lemon juice."
"Owowowowowowoooow!!" Was all the darker side could manage, clawing at the air, and trying to get out the stinging acid.
"I'll go get you the first aid kit," The ever-resourceful Yugi declared, springing up and out the door.
Somehow, as Yugi left the room, Yami miraculously forgot his pain to make way for a moment of drama. He pulled the picture out from his pillow again and gazed at it affectionately (And blurrily).
"Sukogoku..." He whispered.
* *
*
Sukogoku returned home from shopping with a small amount of groceries. They didn't really need any food in the house, but doing the small tasks helped him keep his mind off of what was really hurting him.
"I'm home." He called half heartedly, bringing the grocery bag into the kitchen. Nobody answered.
"It's just like always. Nobody is there to love me. I'm deeply wounded with sorrow and angst. Woe is me." He announced to nobody in particular. He ignored what he had read once about talking to oneself being the first sign of insanity, and continued his mournful conversation,
"If only you knew." He sighed, "If only you loved me back...Yami."
He unloaded the cereal boxes, and milk and cans of soup. Just as he brought out the jar of horseradish, he didn't know what came over him, but he dropped it, letting it (In heartwrenching slow motion of course) drop to the floor and shatter into a million pieces.
He fell to his knees (Which isn't really that much of a fall, considering his height) and began sobbing.
"I can't do anything right. And that was the best horseradish. I spent hours comparing jars to find that one!"
Forunately for him, a certain pharaoh was strolling by, whistling a tune. (Whether or not he really was whistling "Mary Had a little Lamb" is up for argument.) He saw his love crying on the floor and instantly went to his side.
"Motou-Sama. What's wrong?" He asked, with a tender dreamy compassion in his face.
Sukogoku looked up to see his dearest, concerned and worried. Wait... concerned *and* worried? isn't that redundant? No matter!
"Yami." He choked, through his tears of joy and sorrow, "I'm sorry."
"For what?" A clueless look swept Yami's face.
"For loving you."
[Cue: Thunderbolt]
"Wha- Wha?" Yami stuttered, knowing well what Sukogoku had just said, but it was so much more fun being a tease about it.
"I'm sorry. I know you're disgusted by it. I know you're in love with Anzu, and I didn't want to get hurt, but still."
"No. You're wrong. I think Anzu is a bitch."
Sukogoku's eyes widened.
"You really think so?"
"Yup!" Yami joyfully declared, "I also think she's a [censored] [censored] [cencored], and a [cencored]-y [cencored] too! Plus she's a- uh... boogerhead!"
"Oh Yami! I'm so glad you feel that way! I also think Anzu is a [cencored] [cencored] [cencored] who deserves to [censored] her [cencored] little [cencored]."
"Hey, hey, now! Let's not get too harsh. I'm sure that little [cencored] has feelings too."
"I guess you're right. But Yami-"
"Yes?"
"How do you feel about me?"
"Isn't it obvious?"
"...."
"I love you, dearest! I love everything about you! Your hair, your eyes, your smile! To me, you're more than Yugi's grandpa. You're my true love! I'd give up everything for you!"
"Even that fluffy teddy bear named Snookums?"
"... Well... not *everything*."
And akward silence followed, hastily filled by Yami,
"Well, the point is, I love you, right?"
"Yes!"
Yami grabbed Sukogoku roughly about the shoulders and drew him closer.
"Suko-Chan-"
"Yami!"
They moved closer. Closer, and closer. Their noses touched-...
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Yami sat up roughly in his bed, a cold sweat developed around his neck, out of fear from his nightmare. He breathed heavily.
'A- a dream. It was just... a dream.'
He felt an arm tighten around his waist. A muffled voice came drowsily from the pillow beside him,
"Honey, come back to bed." The voice muttered.
"I will Pega-Chan. I just had the wierdest dream..."
"You can tell me about it in the morning."
"Yeah..." He said, and nestled back to sleep besides Pegasus.
~End~
A/N: Now, ah- ah-, how you say?- Ah, yes! REVIEW!!!