Chapter 1: Christmas
"All of this, all of it just to give me an army? I don't want an army!"
"But that's the trouble! Yes YOU do! You've ALWAYS wanted one! All those people suffering the Dalek camps? Now you can save them! All those bad guys winning all the wars? Go and get the good guys back!"
"Nobody can have that power…."
"You will, because you don't have a choice! There's only one way you can stop these clouds from opening up and killing all your pets down here. Conquer the universe, mister president. Show a bad girl how it's done."
"Why are you doing this?"
"I need you to know that we're not so different…I need my friend back."
The doctor sat in frustration in the dark corner of the TARDIS, unable to open his eyes to the damage he had inflicted hours earlier. His head hung under his exasperated grip and he fought the tears back for the third time. Gallifrey had not been at the coordinates, and it wasn't because she had lied. She would never lie to him about Gallifrey. It is the one truth the Master would always tell.
These were the right coordinates and Gallifrey was lost to him. Always lost to him. Always out of reach because of what he did. His home protects itself from its destroyer, and that is why he cannot return. Not even with the grace and forgiveness of another Time Lord could he return, he realized, as he had sat in the dark recalling all that he had done. It was then that he saw exactly what the Mistress had offered him that day: Her forgiveness, her real gift to him. The army was just a ploy to show him, and he ran from his lesson for fear of what he would learn.
After all of it, even she was still able to forgive what he could never forgive himself for.
He gasped, ashamed. He wanted to take her in chains, bloody her wrists and ignore the blood stains on his own hands! How much more blood was on his hands. I need you to know that we're not so different. I need my friend back.
"Missy," the doctor whispered her name, calling out to the air and finding cold silence responding with its taunting nature.
thump thump thump thump
The sounding of the drums. The beating of Missy's heart. Thump Thump Thump Thump.
Realizing they were knocks upon his TARDIS door, the doctor looks up quizzically and hears a stranger's voice. "Doctor…you know it can't end it like that….we need to get this sorted, quickly."
He cautiously makes his way to the TARDIS door. Who could it be and more pressingly, how did they find him here? This was his secret remote hiding spot away from humans. Away from animals, even. A place so desolate, so empty, that even the wind fears to blow through it.
"She's not alright, you know. And neither are you," the voice continued. "I'm coming in."
The TARDIS door opened and flakes of snow fall in behind a large figure in red. Santa Claus. The doctor stares unbelievably at the jolly figure.
"Ah, there you are." Santa exclaimed, wiping the snow from his shoulders and all over the TARDIS floor. This did not amuse the doctor, but he had greater, pressing matters. "I knew I'd get around to you eventually. Now stop gawking and tell me, what do you want for Christmas?"
The doctor raised his thick eyebrows curiously at him. "Pardon? What do I want? For Christmas?"
"Yes, lad," Santa chuckled, removing his glasses and wiping the fog from them, "that is what I said."
The doctor sat down and rubbed his chin curiously, staring at the folklore manifestation before him.
"You aren't real. But that is of no great matter right now, more pressingly: who sent you? And I presume you are referring to Clara? Answer the second question first."
The old man chuckled, "No one sent me, dear boy. It's Christmas Eve!" He spread his arms jovially. "Or have you forgotten?"
That was impossible. The Doctor leapt up and glanced at the console where his thick brows furrowed. It was right there: December 24. He turned swiftly back around to face the alleged Santa Claus. "Where is Clara? What has happened to her?"
"Clara Oswald is at home, surrounded by friends and family, enjoying the Christmas spirit. She's still grieving the loss of Mr. Pink, of course. That can't be changed, unfortunately. However, some good tidings are coming her way in the twilight of the night," Santa paused, opening his bag slowly and before he reaches in, he asks: "So, doctor, what can I give thee for Christmas? What is your deepest Christmas wish?"
The doctor rolled his eyes, pulled out his sonic screwdriver and pointed it at the figure before him. The data was read and it concluded what the doctor was unwilling to admit to himself: human. How did this human find him? He parked the TARDIS in the crevice of an eighty foot-tall ice wall in the North Pole. There is no conceivable way a human could have ventured to his TARDIS and walk in. This must be one of UNIT's men.
"I want you to go away," the doctor shooed Santa towards the door. "Go along, then, Santa Claus. Go fill the children's lives with Christmas cheer and leave me be…."
Santa laughed, "She did say you would be like this."
The doctor rolled his eyes, "Never mind what Clara said. Go now, be on your way, ye old Saint Nick! I have work to do!"
"Sitting around as time flies, is more like it!" Santa exclaimed, "Nothing is missed by the eyes of Santa Claus, doctor! You're sitting here wishing circumstances were different, conceiving of all the conceivables and doing nothing about it at all! Nothing! So I've come to deliver you and give you, for once in your long years, a Christmas miracle so you can finally believe in the beauty and cheer of this glorious holiday. Admit now, what is your deepest wish for Christmas and let Santa Claus deliver!"
"I wish for world peace on Earth this Christmas," the doctor grumbled, becoming increasingly annoyed by the stranger's presence.
"While that is a wish you have, it isn't your deepest one, Doctor. You needn't even say it aloud. I know. At the very least admit it to yourself. I'm assuming you're ready, then?"
Santa slapped a band around the doctor's wrists and it had three seconds counting down on it. Before he could tear it off, he was transported to a village with Victorian architecture, snow falling delicately around them and the gas lanterns lighting the way against the dark sky.
"Merry Christmas, love!" The familiar voice came from behind and the doctor slowly turned around, not wanting to face her.
She clutched her umbrella and made a kissy face at him.
"What am I doing here?" the doctor asked, running up urgently to his childhood friend, eyes wide with frustrated bewilderment.
"To celebrate your Christmas cheer?" Missy said with jovial glee, waving her umbrella whiskfuly. "It's been such a wonderful celebration…."
"You never cared for holidays, what are you planning? Tell me why I am here!" the doctor pleaded, putting his hands roughly on her shoulders.
"Bah humbug!" Missy held his chin gently and kissed him lightly on the lips before whispering in his ear, "Would you dare deny the ghost of Christmas past?"
The doctor's eyes were still wide when Missy backed away. It took several moments for awareness to return to him and he realized someone was calling his name.
"Doctor! Doctor, is that you?"
He turned to see a man wearing a purple suit and waving a black top hat in his arms as he ran towards him. A stranger's distraction from Missy allowed the doctor to take a good look at his surroundings. The old Victorian buildings were covered with snow and the tiny trees were filled with Christmas lights. It didn't take him long to make the connection.
"It is! Well, then, welcome back to Christmas, doctor!" the man began eagerly shaking the doctor's hand. "It's so lovely to see you in your new form! I've heard rumors that you've changed forms…."
"Thank you," the doctor said as he took a long look at the tower he had been quite familiar with in his previous incarnation.
"All thanks to you, as you know!" the man replied. He then proceeded to describe the advancements the city had undergone since his last visit. The doctor wasn't paying any mind as he realized Missy was nowhere to be seen. He looked to the ground for any sign of footprints in the snow and sighed happily as he found her trail leading off into the distance. Damn her.
"We've erected a statue in your honor, in fact," the man continued on, guiding the doctor in towards the town, "in memory of that day and how you saved us."
"I did very little," the doctor insisted, slightly annoyed at this inconvenience. But having the manners as pristine as he harbored, he couldn't deny the little man his due time.
"You did so much more than you're letting on, dear Doctor! Had it not been for you, we would all have been murdered by the Daleks, the Cybermen: all the horrors of the Universe!"
Had it not been for me, they would have never appeared in the first place, the doctor so wished he could have replied but it would have been in poor taste. Truly he couldn't understand why he was allowing his foul mood to manifest this way.
"In lieu of your return, we must have a feast! I will summon the counsels!" The man said and hurried along. The doctor glared longingly up at the top of a secluded hill where a single cottage sat upon the white snow. Dark smoke billowed from its chimney, thick as oil it seemed. It looked daunting compared to the jovial Christmas village he stood in. That is where she is.
The man returned quickly and within the hour, the doctor found himself sitting in the town's hall with all the residents waiting for dinner to be served. They informed him that the truth field had never been properly replaced since that night and how adjusting to a new way of life has been difficult. Yet they assured the doctor that genuine efforts are made by the townsmen to remain truthful and honest in their daily affairs, though white lies may be justified given certain circumstances. The doctor applauded their adjustments and insisted it's a testament to their bravery.
A toast was made in the doctor's honor and soon everyone feasted on the honeyed ham, mashed potatoes and green beans. The gravy, the doctor swore, was the best he had ever had and the cooks blushed upon hearing it. Desert was even more wonderful. He chose the peppermint layer cake first and engulfed the entire slice in two bites. Next he had chosen the strawberry cheesecake and his legs twitched in response to how delicious it was. The meal made him forget altogether why he was here in the first place, when it suddenly occurred to him.
"Did you see the woman I was with? Right as you found me this morning?"
"No" the man said jovially from his wine. "Why do you ask? Did you bring your companion Clara? You should have said something, Doctor! We have more than enough food and wine…."
"No," the doctor understood that The Mistress was intentionally camouflaging herself from this village and for devious purposes, no doubt. "I must have indulged a bit too much of this wine, I'm sorry. I had forgotten she did not travel with me this morning. Being the time-traveler that I am, I sometimes forget what happens on which day," he lied.
"No worries, my good doctor! Please, indulge and be merry, for this is Christmas!"
The doctor, out of some felt obligation, shared one more glass of wine with the man before excusing himself quietly from the hall. He insisted that he would be right back for he was in no mood to shake hands with everyone in the hall exchanging "goodbyes" and "see you laters."
He slipped quietly out of the hall and found the sun had set, long ago as it should appear by the black of night. The stars were dimmed against the bright gas lamps guiding the street. It took him twenty minutes to finally find the cottage atop the estranged hill and even longer to make his way through the thick snow. When he found himself at the door, however, he suddenly felt an overwhelming shyness. All this time in reclusion has made him feel unsure of himself in terms of The Master. All their joyous years on Gallifrey and all the years opposing one another in the Universe, yet….
"Oh love, just come in, already."