Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail or Naruto.
Note: This written for fun. Don't think too hard. Just have fun reading. FYI: This story is heavily inspired by another fanfiction called "The Mating Frenzy," written by MSkyDragons. It's under the Naruto section and has one of the highest reviews.
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Chapter 1: The Plan
Shortly after the wars, an emergency assembly was called in the Leaf Village. Naruto noticed that a lot of different ninjas from different nations were present. A glaring notice is the fact is that there were non-ninjas present as well. Apparently, they were called mages and came from the land of Fiore.
Up at the stadium floor were the five kages, and also the princess of Fiore, Hisui E. Flore.
"Got any idea why we're here?" Natsu randomly asked Naruto.
"Nope," Naruto said to a pink hair guy with a talking cat that he just met.
"Alright, may I have your attention please?" Tsunade started. "First off, happy anniversary for winning the Fourth Shinobi War!"
The ninjas cheered.
"And also, congratulations for victory over the Alvarez Empire!" Princess Hisui chimed in.
The mages cheered.
"And today we're proud to announce the alliance between the country of Fiore and the Elemental Nations!" both Tsunade and Hisui said together.
The crowd erupted with jubilation. With mages and ninjas working together, no other countries would ever dare mess with them.
"However," Tsunade started and the crowd died down. "A lot of lives were sacrificed- both combatants and civilians. Our nations will face a crisis of population decline. And so, it has been decided that all of Fiore and the Elemental Nation over the age of eighteen will be given an S class mission."
The crowds listened closely. Kakashi, a fan of Jiraya's book, kinda had an idea what the mission is all about. He noticed the princess was fidgeting and blushing profusely.
"And your mission…" Tsunade smirked. Oh, how she wish Jiraya was here to see this. "Is to pair off, make like rabbits, and have as much children as possible!"
Complete silence and shock befell the atmosphere.
"I knew it," Kakashi sighed.
Rock Lee shook with anticipation. He just couldn't take it anymore. He raised his fists. "Alright! I shall spread the seed of youth and pollinate these fair maidens. We will bear fruits will that will shine and reach the sky!"
The leaf ninjas groaned in embarrassment. All the other females made a mental note to stay away from the green spandex creep.
"Yeah, you said it brother! You're a real man!" Elfman declared while making poses.
The Fairy Tail member groaned in embarrassment at their guy. Elfman just made the creep list.
"Hey, Tsunade," Naruto raised his hand. "What do you mean by 'pair off' and 'make like rabbits'?"
This earned a snicker from his peers. Some of the female mages look at him with slight minded perversion. They knew he's a virgin, and wasn't half bad looking either.
Tsunade raised a brow. "What do you mean? Didn't they teach you anything at school? You were Jiraya's apprentice, how can you not know?"
"Well, all we learn was combat while in school, and Jiraya never really talk to me about… you know… sex."
People that knew Jiraya was rather impressed that he didn't corrupt Naruto… not too badly at least.
"Okay…" Tsunade droned. Crap, she should've realize the cultural aspect concerning sex. "Okay, who else needs a lesson regarding the birds and the bees?"
Very few of the mages raised their hands. Quite a few of the ninjas, all around the age of Naruto's age, did.
"Lady Tsunade, I have a suggestion," Hisui spoke toward the Hokage's ear. "My country is very open when it comes to sex. Perhaps my people can assist your people."
"I like it, would you make the announcement?" Tsunade asked. Not really since she pushed the princess toward the mic.
Hisui stammered for a bit. Her face was tomato red. "Effectively immediately, I ask that the mages assist the ninjas with the talk and our culture of regarding sex. This probably take a few days to do so," she look to the kages for assurance and they agreed. "And after some more preparation, we will commence the S-rank mission as planned."
The crowd roared. Kakashi noticed Naruto was pulled away by a white haired woman.
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Out in the middle of a green field, Naruto sat in a circle with two women, both came from the Fairy Tail Guild. The white hair woman was Mirajane, and the other was a red hair woman named Erza.
"So, how do we begin?" Naruto said a little nervously.
"Oh, Naruto, you're so innocent," Mirajane giggled.
"We heard you were the hero of the great war, we wanted to assist you as much as possible," Erza folded her arms. "We're powerful mages ourselves. The strong need to stick together."
"That didn't really answer my question," Naruto sweat-dropped.
"I think it'll be better we show you~" Mirajane suggested. "Erza, please change into a maid outfit."
Erza hesitated for a second. Mirajane had a glint of evil in her eyes. If it's for the good of the mission, Erza obeyed.
Mirajane in turn proceeded to summon her satan soul. In a flash, Erza was tied up and pushed onto all fours. Out of nowhere, Mirajane brought out a whip.
"Now let's begin…" Mirajane said demonically as she smacked Erza's cheeks with the whip.
Naruto's eyes bulged.
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Out in another field, Natsu was downright embarrassed. He was one of the few that didn't had the talk and how dare Mirajane and Erza chose some random guy to do it with!?
He decided to get back at them.
In a Natsu move, he rushed the stage and grabbed the Mizukage. It would've been a death wish if the ninja intervene. Thankfully, Mei Temuri told everyone to back off. She was interested in such a bold man.
Things aren't exactly going according to plan as the Mizukage had the dragon-slayer pinned down.
"Hold up, I wanted to talk!" Natsu whimpered.
Mei licked his ear. "Oh? You kidnap me. Now you have to take responsibility. And I just love younger men~"
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"Yes, Naruto. Harder. Faster," Erza whispered into Naruto's ear as she guided his hand. "Keep going. Oh, my god. Yes."
Naruto released his cream onto Erza's pie… literally. They were making a freakin' pie in the middle of the field.
"Um… Erza, what this got to do with the talk?" Naruto said as he stuffed Erza's pie into his mouth.
Erza licked the cream from Naruto's tube. It had the sweet taste of strawberry.
"Oh, nothing. We needed a break from an intense lesson," Erza then turned to Mirajane, who is tied to a post with bareback exposed. "Isn't that right, demon wench!?" Erza whipped her with a black whip.
Mirajane groaned. "Yes, Master. I'm sorry!"
Naruto deadpanned at the sight. This has been a weird day.
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