My first Merlin fanfic! This is a one shot, but I may post Merlin's thoughts. Basically Morgana's feelings on a certain man that continuously plagues her heart. Enjoy!
She hated this, this emotion. She had built everything about herself up, careful not to let anything touched her steel encased heart. Yet this emotion, the emotion she'd never truly had expected, had wiggled inside. And it broke her down from the inside.
So, she hated him. Hated him for being, well, him. For planting this evil emotion inside her. But, deep down, she knew that it wasn't all his fault. It never was. He wasn't to blame for her defenses breaking down.
It was herself. She had let him get through. And as much as she hated it, she was forced to like it. To enjoy to it. To love being in love.
She had tried concentrating on his faults. He had poisoned her, he was friends with Arthur, one of her worst enemies, he had something to do with her downfall, his ears were gigantic, and he hated her. He was on the wrong side. Not her side, where she wished he was.
So, she let him live. Not all her effort was put into her plans, more into keeping him alive. She had threatened him so many times, had almost killed him so many times, yet she didn't. Because she couldn't.
So years later, as this emotion still plagued her heart, she faced him on the battlefield. Everyone knew it would be the last battle. Only one would win. Only one would live, the other die. And she knew it would be her.
She had known for a while he would be her demise. Her effort was snapped in half, her mind focused on almost nothing. She was nothing, yet she was still Camelot's most dangerous enemy. Because she was angry. Angry that the emotion plagued her, angry he didn't love her, angry that her magic was 'unlawful', angry because really, she didn't care about anything.
In the end, her demise went quickly and painful. Painful in her heart, painful in her mind, and painful in her body.
She gasped as the magic hit her, sending her spiralling backwards and to the hard ground. He walked over her, a deep sadness within his eyes. As if it pained him to to hurt her.
"You could've stopped all this years ago. Released the illusion of your revenge, and joined us. Magic was legalized, what left was there for you to hold a grudge against? And now look at the world around you. Dead," he spat. Her mind could only comprehend his voice and the pain.
"You know, the stupid thing is, I believed you would have changed. Changed for your family, your friends. For me. But I guess I thought wrong. I'm sorry. But I refuse to let anyone destroy this world," he said, sending a final blow of magic towards her.
The pain blinded everything, but it ended soon. The last thing she ever thought was not how she regretted not killing him, or Arthur, or Gwen, not that. Nor was it how much pain she was in. It was the silliest thing to anyone else, but to her, it meant the world.
They were right. Merlin was my downfall. And then Morgana Pendragon died.
Years later, as the battle was retold around the fire, they say that the great Emrys, or sometimes known as Merlin, was Morgana's downfall, but not just in the way that he killed her.
No, he had brought her down years before. Why else had they won so many battles? She had been weakened by him. She had cared for him. Morgana hadn't wanted him to die. It had destroyed her mind, her heart. So, Merlin had been her downfall. But not by wound, nor blood. But by heart.
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