I did it. I really did it. I can't believe I did it. Wow, this is all so weird, I don't know how to handle this. What do I do now? Do I hide the evidence? Where do I hide his perfect body? Surely I can't just dump him in the earth; he is much too beautiful for that. He never did like dirt anyway.
A million thoughts chase each other through my head as I stare down at Sasuke Uchiha, his throat slit, his obsidian eyes wide, his mouth open in a silent scream. I crouch down and push a strand of black hair off his smooth cheek.
*Two days before*
"You're such a freak Shikamaru, no-one will ever love you. Who would anyway? Who in their right mind would love a faggot?" I flinched at the last word, spat from his lovely mouth like poison. The ugly vultures that called themselves his 'friends' cackled like the witches they are and chanted-
"Faggot! Freak! Faggot! Freak!" I hissed softly, a thing I do whenever I am scared, rubbing my stinging wrist absently.
"I'm sorry Shika, I shouldn't tease you like this." My black finger nails dug into my palm, so chewed down I barely felt it. "Maybe I should just give you what you want. You want me, don't you Shika? Well, here I am." The vultures sniggered as Sasuke, beautiful, perfect Sasuke, advanced on me slowly, pulling his top up past his belly-button playfully, sniggering and smiling hugely. I could see his top row of white teeth, straight and perfect, like everything else about him. He was standing in front of me, close enough to kiss.
I started hyperventalating, my eyes huge. His smile turned into a smug grin and he kissed me.
Oh God he kissed me. He kissed me like it was nothing; like he did it every day. And I kissed him back. I did not move a muscle, except for the ones in my face. My eyes closed and my lips parted when he slid his tongue over them, allowing him to explore my mouth.
It was over too soon, his eyes already open as he pulled away, winking at me cheekily.
"You'll never get that again Shika, OK? Never. Again." Licking his lips he flicked his black hair out of his eyes, prancing away with his vultures hooked on his arms, cackling evilly.
*Present*
"...the days are passing and the fire is dead, so we keep it all here in the back of your head." I sing my favourite song as I drag Sasuke by his ankles to my backyard which conveniently leads straight to the ocean.
But he's so beautiful I don't want to just throw him in the ocean. Why did I do this? Now I have to deal with the evidence, then the suspicions; no doubt they'll eventually find out it was me. This is all so tiresome, all I want to do is go home, have a mug of coffee, watch a movie and cut myself once or twice before falling asleep sucking on my freshly bleeding thumb like a baby until I fall asleep as I have always done.
"Just say good-bye just like in my nightmare..." I turn around and begin dragging perfect, cold Sasuke back to my house.
*One hour ago*
"Hey freak. What are you doing here?" I squeaked and whirled around to face none other than Sasuke Uchiha, his perfect features glowing in the moon-light. I opened my mouth to speak, to tell him that I was just checking for mail in my letter-box, and that he was at my house, but he cut me off before I started, gesturing towards the small house behind me.
"Is this where you live or something?" I nodded tentatively. "Mind if I come in?" I shook my head and shuffled after him as he lead the way confidently into my house.
"Pretty gloomy place, don't you think?" I just shrugged' I liked the plain white walls, the black furniture and the dark red rug. I start to freak out whenever something isn't colour co-ordinated, and when I freak out nothing ends well.
Sasuke was wearing red skinnys with a purple t-shirt and white hoodie.
*Present*
The kettle screams while I heat the milk up before pouring it into my favourite red mug. When I am sitting comfortably on my couch curled up in a ball, I push play on the remote and snuggle down to watch Beetlejiuce.
I sip my coffee and steal glances at the chair in which Sasuke is propped, talking to him sometimes and commenting on the movie as though he could answer me. But of course he never does.
*One hour ago*
"So Shikamaru, how've you been?" I stared at him in disbelief, waiting to see if he would laugh and shout "Lol jokes!" Like he normally did, but he just continued looking around the room, taking everything in with that adorable innocent expression of his.
"Pre... I've been better, I guess." Finally he looked at me.
"Oh really? Well, maybe I can cheer you up." He started walking closer to me, exactly like when he kissed me two days before. I backed up, slightly frightened, until I felt myself hit the wall. Sasuke smirked and braced his hands against the wall either side of my head, pressing me closer to the cold concrete.
"Meow;" I squeaked in alarm; that only caused Sasuke to smile wider. I felt so cornered; and when I get cornered I tend to lash out, which is why when Sasuke pressed his warm lips against mine, my first reation was to punch him as hard as I could in the gut; which turned out to be pretty darn hard.
"Oof!" Doubling over himself, Sasuke coughed drily. "What the fuck Shikamaru!" I barely heard him; I was scrambling towards my kitchen, fumbling in the drawers for something, anything, until...
"Aahh!" Blood spilled from Sasuke's perfect arm onto my clean white floor, making it slippery. But I didn't notice that; all sense had been driven from my mind, all I saw in front of me was an enemy, a threat to be dealt with, like all the other terrors in my life.
So I attacked.
Again and again I struck, blood splashing everywhere, the sound of Sasuke's agonised screams piercing the night.
It was the most intimate I had and would ever be with anybody, and to me, it was beautiful. I saw flashes of his milk white bones, tasted his coppery blood when it flicked onto my lips and reveled as I watched him become reduced to a quivering, whimpering bloody mess on the ground in front of me; by my own hands. Finally, I stopped. My arms hung limp at my sides as I watched Sasuke struggle to stop the blood that was pouring out of him by the bucketful.
"Shi-ka..." I barely heard him, so faint was his voice, reduced to a mere gurgle. I saw a trickle of crimson creep down his chin when he opened his mouth.
"I'm, I'm sorry Sasuke;" Even to my own ears my voice sounded emotionless, bored even "I'll make it... stop now. I'll make it stop." His only response was to roll his eyes into the back of his head, making raspy gurgling sounds. I knelt over him, pressed my lips to the dripping blade in my hand, and placed it on his throat, applying more and more pressure. My face became coated in blood; my arms, my chest- all glistening red.
*Present*
After a good night's sleep I wake up, refreshed and about as happy as I've ever been. I roll over to look at Sasuke lying next to me, his eyes staring at the ceiling.
"I wonder if they're missing you." I mutter, sleepiness makes my voice slur. Sasuke remains silent. "Come on gorgeous," I grunt as I swing myself off the bed "it's a beautiful day." I smile as I look out the window and see a murky grey sky.
I spend an hour going through my usual morning routine- coffee with a chapter or two of my book, get dressed. I decide to skip school today though; I have something more important to do.
Sasuke is too big to just casually carry into town over my shoulder, so I call the police instead, giving them my exact address and telling them nothing except that it is an emergency.
After that I have nothing to do but sit and wait, so I pull out my book again and plonk down on the couch next to Sasuke.
My head is resting on Sasuke's shoulder and I'm just getting to the really good bit in my story when I hear a knocking at my door. I grunt as I heave myself onto my feet and pad to the front door.
"Good morning officers, glad you could make it. It would have been nice if you arrived earlier, no doubt, but there's no time like the present is there?" The two officers standing before me look at each other as if to say- 'is this kid crazy?' then look back at me, standing casually in the door-frame with a lopsided smile, black jeans and white t-shirt, my hands tucked into my pockets. The one in front with a side fringe covering most of one side of his face speaks first.
"What's this emergency kid?" I rub my neck absently as I answer, another habit of mine when I'm talking to strangers.
"Well, you see sir, before I show you, you may want to place those on me." He looks down at his waist where I am pointing, where only one thing hangs from his belt; a shining pair of hand-cuffs.
"And why on earth would I want to put you in hand-cuffs huh kid? You haven't done anything wrong have you now?" I just shrug.
"Don't worry then. Just follow me please." I turn around and lead them into my lounge room.
I sit down on my couch next to the cold, lifeless Sasuke and wait for them to catch on. The lady realises first. A hand flies up to cover her mouth when a small gasp escapes.
"What happened to him?" She asks. I almost roll my eyes at her ignorance. She's on the police force for crying out loud! "I killed him;" I state, matter-of-factly "last night." The look of shock on her face amuses me greatly so I continue. "It was quite fun actually, but it did take a little while to clean up afterwards. I'm afraid I may have missed a few spots."
The next thing I know the man is slapping hand-cuffs on my wrists, much like I advised him to do earlier. You are under arrest for murder in cold blood young man." He goes on about 'the right to remain silent' and all that police stuff as I am lead outside to their car.
The Mental Asylum for Damaged Youths is like a Heaven on earth. I have been here for almost a year now, and everything is perfect. Everything is colour-coded, all black and white, and the routine is set the exact same each and every day. I am left alone if I wish, or the loudest guy in the ward; my boyfriend loves pain, so he doesn't mind if I hurt him a little. Each night I watch myself murder Sasuke again and again, each morning I wake with a smile on my face. I have made a life for myself in this mental ward, and I'm never going back.