A/N: I think this might work better if you knew the Monty Python skit. But, I've been told that it works even if you don't know it. By the way, don't review that this isn't real German I'm quoting here. I know it's not. Don't try to figure out the translation. There isn't one.
Disclaimer: Wouldn't it be nice if the fans owned Supernatural? Sadly, I can't afford to own them.
I also don't own Monty Python. I have everything that Python has put out on DVD. And, I just have a feeling that Dean appreciates Python's humor.
The Funniest Joke in the World
"It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible…"
"This is an ex-parrot!" Dean finished the line and laughed appreciatively at the TV. I love Monty Python! He thought as he put down the gun he was cleaning and picked up another one.
Sammy looked up from his homework and glared at his brother. "Would you tone it down some? I can't concentrate on my math homework!"
"Why are you doing it anyways?"
"I'd like to get into college and get a life other than this!" He erased an answer and started the problem again.
"You're 14 years old! You're too young to worry about college! Besides, there's nothing college can teach you about this job."
Sammy sighed. "Don't you want something else in life."
"Not really. I don't know what I'd do."
"Well, this might be your destiny, but it's not gonna be mine!"
Dean turned back to the TV and watched John Cleese and Michael Palin discuss if "Ipswitch" was a pun or a palindrome for "Bolton."
Sammy tapped his pencil against the paper. "That's not even funny. What does that even mean?"
"It doesn't mean anything. Why does everything have to mean something to be funny? And, c'mon! 'Notlob' is just a funny sounding word."
Sammy rolled his eyes and went back to his homework. Dean put down the gun he was cleaning and reached for another.
"Sammy, that's a good try on making silver bullets. Unfortunately, they won't fire from any known gun."
Sammy threw down his misshapen bullets. "I hate this! Why do we always have to do this? I have a spelling bee to be studying for!"
Oh, God! Here he goes again! Dean practically had Sammy's whining memorized. He put Sammy's bullets in the tiny melting pot to reheat. "Look, you need to know this stuff. It's important."
"When's Dad coming home?"
"In a couple days. I hope he's alright. That ghost must be a bitch. But, he checked in while you were at soccer practice. He said he should be finishing up sometime tonight. Drive back afterwards. Now, the bullets…"
"I don't wanna."
"It's important to know how to do this." Dean handed the pot to Sammy.
Sammy shoved it back. "This isn't gonna be my life! You and Dad keep on hunting, since that's the only thing you two seem to like to do."
Dean sighed. "You seem to have gotten a smart mouth overnight, Sammy."
"Maybe because I'm smart. And, I want to be called Sam."
"Oh, clever comeback. Hey, I got an idea. I've had an idea for a while. I need you to translate something into Latin to use as a weapon."
Sammy perked up. "You mean like as spell or an exorcism?"
Dean quickly grinned and hid it before Sammy noticed. "Something like that. I'd like to have it, just in case we run out of my bullets and have to resort to using yours."
Sammy made a sour face, but he asked, "What do you want me to translate?"
Dean recited from memory. "Wenn ist das geht und Slotermeyer? Ja! Bayerhund das oder die Flipperwaldt gespuhrt."
Sammy grabbed a pen and paper and wrote it down. "German?"
Dean smirked. "OK."
"Isn't this Monty Python's funniest joke in the world?"
"And look what happens to everyone who understands the joke! They literally die laughing!" Dean couldn't believe that he was remaining deadpan for this.
Sammy frowned. "What about me?"
"It won't affect you. You need a sense of humor for it to kill you." Dean poured the liquid silver in the molds.
Sammy scowled, but he got up and grabbed the paper. "I'll look into it." He walked out of the room.
Dean watched him grab his German dictionary. I wonder how long it'll take him to realize half those words don't exist? At least I can finish up making these bullets!
A couple days later, Sammy told Dean he was having trouble translating a few of the words. He would look in dictionaries with more archaic German.
Dean choked back a fit of laughter. This is working better than I could have ever imagined!
"I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK. I sleep all night and I work all day!" Dean sang along with the TV.
Sammy looked up from his history books where he was studying for a test. "Dean, please. I need to know this."
"You also need to know how to make bullets. And know what's funny. How can you not find this funny? He's a lumberjack who sleeps all night, works all day, goes to the lavatory, along with wearing high heels, a bra, and hangs in bars!"
"It's not funny. It's stupid."
The phone rang. Dean answered it. "Hello?"
John's voice made Dean straighten up. "Dean, I need you and Sammy to check something out for me. I would, but this zombie is taking me a little longer than expected."
"Are you OK? Is everything alright?"
"Everything's fine. But, it'll be a quick in and out for you guys. Just 100 miles from where you are now."
Dean grabbed paper and a pen. "Yessir. What's going on?"
"Apparently, there's a Daemonish in Langdon. Silver bullets should bring him down."
Should? I prefer "will," Dean thought. "Yessir. We'll take care of it."
John hung up. Dean sighed as he did the same. And I had a date tonight!
He turned off the TV. Sammy looked up. "Finally!"
"Get up. Dad gave us a job to do."
"Dean, I've got a test tomorrow! I can't go."
Dean grabbed his jacket and tossed Sammy's jacket to him. "I'll forge a note for you. Tell them you're sick. It's not far from the truth."
"Funny! You're so funny!" Sammy groaned, but he followed Dean out the door. He turned back to grab a couple of books and notebooks.
Dean almost fell down laughing when he saw one of those books was a German dictionary.
I wonder how many creepy old houses I've walked through, pointing a flashlight and a gun at shadows? I wonder how many more I'll walk through in my life? Dean thought as he swung his gun at a shadow.
He looked over at Sammy who was also carrying his flashlight and shadow like a pro. Face it, Sammy. This is your fate. I'm sorry. I really am.
Suddenly, a shadow pulled itself away from the wall. Dean didn't have time to react before the shadow knocked him off his feet. He crashed into the opposite wall and slumped to the floor.
"Dean!" Sammy knelt by his brother. "Are you OK?"
Dean sat up. "Yeah. Just got the wind knocked out of me." Sammy grabbed his arm and helped him to his feet. They turned and watched the Daemonish step out of the shadow.
It glared at the brothers menacingly. It had long claws coming out of its hands and huge fangs coming out of its mouth. It kept slashing at them.
I'd hate to get hit with one of those claws! Dean thought as he pulled Sammy behind him. As they backed up, Dean fired his gun. The bullets hit the Deamonish, making it stagger back slightly. Dean saw the bullets hit—three in the head, three in the heart—but, they didn't seem to phase it much.
Yeah, silver bullets "should" take it down. Thanks a lot, Dad!
Dean bumped into Sammy, who had stopped. He looked over at his brother who peered over Dean's shoulder. "Sammy…?"
"I'm up against the corner. There's nowhere else to go."
The moonlight coming through the broken windows gleamed on the Daemonish's claws as it continued its menacing saunter.
"Wenn ist das nunstuck geht und Slotermeyer? Ja! Bayerhund das oder die Flipperwaldt gespuhrt!"Sammy's yell rang in Dean's ear.
The Daemonish stopped its forward advance.
The silence was deafening.
Dean looked at his brother. "Sammy, I know my timing sucks out loud, and I appreciate the gesture, but half those words don't exist! What possessed you to say that? Maybe I should start throwing your bullets at it!"
"He's German! I thought I'd take a chance! And you knew those words didn't exist? Why'd you give me that assignment?"
"You were annoying me!"
A howl of laughter interrupted their argument. The brothers looked at the Daemonish who was shaking with laughter.
"Die Flipperwaldt gespuhrt!" It gasped out between breaths and tears.
The bullet woulds opened up, and the Daemonish's silver blood ran out of them. It kept laughin. "Die Flipperwaldt gespuhrt!"
Suddenly, the Daemonish melted down, his laughter echoing around the house. The silver remains were reclaimed by the shadows, but nothing stepped out of them to threaten the boys.
Dean blinked. "OK, that was…"
"Weird," Sammy finished. "Those were real words?"
Dean grinned. "Well, everyone who understands the joke dies laughing, right? Now we know what kills Daemonishes. See? They can't teach you this stuff in college! And you should appreciate Monty Python more than you do!"
A/N: This is my first attempt at a more humorous fic. By the way, the Python skits referred to are the extended "Dead Parrot Sketch" (found in Monty Python's Flying Circus episode #8 entitled "Full Frontal Nudity"), "The Lumberjack Song (found in various places), and "The Funniest Joke in the World" (found in episode #1 entitled "Wither Canada").
I found this funny. But, my sense of humor tends to be Pythonesque (which, incidentally, is a real word!) So, I hope that you guys find it funny as well!
Oh, and don't try to translate the joke. The words don't exist in any known language.
Oh, and "Daemonish" is German for "Demonic." I just made it into a noun. Everything else is my own twisted little creation.
Please read and review.